genessia | [Action] La princesse et une réalité

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[Action] La princesse et une réalité

Who: Anastasia, OTA
What: AU aftermath
When: Buttmunch o'clock in the morning
Where: Nova City
Warnings: Water freezes when it gets cold enough. Also, talk of executions.

Anastasia was awake in the ungodly hours of the morning, tears streaming down her face and pacing her room and sobbing in the wake of the dreadful nightmare she ever experienced. She was back to her slightly smaller, time-locked self dressed in a Sylveon-themed nightgown as that dream played back in her mind as vividly as it had happened.

At least, she thinks it was a nightmare.
It felt so real to her. How she was back home, two years ago, before coming to Genessia, standing behind her father before a row of captured soldiers. She could hear the voices like she was right there with them, as her father offered the enemy army's commander a generous gift at a horrible price.

Anastasia shook her head and hugged herself when she recalled the offer. And she supported it.]

That wasn't me! That wasn't Daddy!

[She was an obedient good girl,
allowing herself to be raised and trained to be a violent Princess who was more-or-lass honoured to take part in executions. Ideals of a violent dictatorship that she believes in and carried with her into Genessia. Did she execute anyone in Genessia? Why did she plan to use Attleton's colosseum to execute dissenters via gladiator combat? Anastasia couldn't take it anymore. She hastily changed out of her Sylveon-themed nightgown into whatever shirt and skirt that was nearest and offered less resistance to her frantic grabbing. She wasn't going to bother doing her hair or looking pretty, she just wanted out before she suffocates, and out the door of the apartment she went and into the cold, snowy Nova City to wander aimlessly.

Anyone out and about in Nova City might stumble upon her, walking about and looking badly disturbed as evidenced by her sobbing. Along with the fact that she is not dressed for winter weather. Passing by close enough, she can be heard mumbling to herself.]

That wasn't me. That can't be me. I can't be like that... There's no way. Not again... Not again...

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[ She's not the only one out and about, running away from her demons though neither of them can outrun them when they're in your own head.

Cassian walks, for walking will keep him busy, and gives him at least a thin pretense of making himself useful. He's been doing a lot of walking.

He halts when he catches sight of Anastasia in Nova City, looking underdressed for the weather and distraught. There's a flashback to her speaking of executions, of the Colosseum... of himself and his own thoughts, a whisper of rule through fear of force that still makes a terrible lot of sense to him.

He shoves his hands deep into the pockets of his coat and gives her a wary look out of dull, tired eyes. ]

Are you still going to talk of executions?

[Anastasia stops walking and looks up at him with tear-soaked eyes. She remembers the conversation. It's bad enough that there's a side of her who has these thoughts, or at least, are a possible path she can take in life. A question like that was certainly a despicable thing to say to the young girl. Why not just go ahead and drive a knife into her?

She shakes her head and averts her gaze as she continues walking, intending to passive-aggressively brush past Cassian.]

[ Oh. So... That was the wrong question to ask. ]

Wait!

[ He stops himself before he can blurt out more, takes a deep breath. Okay, think this through better this time. ]

I'm sorry.

[ Seems like a good enough start, at least. He winces. ]

I was... it was a bad thing to say. Sorry.

[She kept going for a few more steps, but did slow down to a stop. She didn't turn to face him, but she did turn her head to get him in her peripheral. Her voice was shaky when she did speak.]

...What do you want?

I...

[ He inhaled, exhaled slowly. Okay, he can do this. Just act normal. ]

I'm not sure. See how you're doing, I guess.

[ If this is someone who shares his own grief. ]

[She needs someone to look to for guidance, but she doesn't know how to bring it up with her friends, least of all this total stranger. And yet he seems to be implying that he has been thinking about her and was concerned about her. Highly doubtful, though. She turned away from him fully now, but didn't try to leave.]

...That wasn't me before. It couldn't have been.

[Except she knew it was. It was her, if not some version of her that has every possible capacity for existing.]

[ Oh. That hurts. It feels like something he would be saying, or at least thinking while he only dares to say it when he is anonymous on the network. But now here is Anastasia and there's no hiding from it.

He looks stricken for a moment, unable to cover up his reaction in the first moment before he forces his face into blankness. ]

So. [ He clenches and unclenches his hands at his sides. ] You turned into someone terrible during that week. [ But that's another blow, and it's not what he intends. ] So did I.

[She simply repeats herself, still trying to convince herself that her memories were not her own. But if they weren't, what is?]

That wasn't me... But... it's not like I can prove it wasn't...

I don't know who I am anymore... And you don't know who I am, either... You can't help me...

[Her voice wavers once more.]

You just can't. No one can...

I can't. [ His voice is very quiet, just barely above a whisper. ]

[ He feels cold, looking at her and seeing his own despair mirrored in her. To know he's not alone should make him feel better, maybe, but it doesn't. It's just more people in pain. ]

I don't know who can help. We'll just... I don't know. For what it's worth, you are nothing like her.

[She turned only enough to see him in the corner of her eye.]

...But how would you know?

[She's genuinely curious.]

Because I have met her, and even that other me was discomfited by her.

You, on the other hand, are appalled by who she is and what she has done. You have her inside you, but you don't take the same actions.

[ And it's easier to accept this for someone else than for himself. ]

[Mavis couldn't remember how she ended up in Nova City. She just felt the need to walk a bit, since tossing and turning in her bed wasn't helping any. Usually she only walked in Fayren, but today she went further. She must have had a lot on her mind. It's not that she had done anything she could regret during that past week. It was more that part of her regretted that week hadn't been her real life. Such a cruel joke to let her see the life she could have had with Zeref only to abruptly take it away.

And then, there was their son. ...Was it really their son? And if so, how was it possible she never knew of him?

She was deeply lost in thoughts when Anastasia's soft voice shook her out of her daydream.

She hurried to catch up with her and laid a sympathetic hand on her shoulder.]

Hey... Are you okay, Anastasia? [It almost looked like she was sleepwalking.]

[Anastasia gasped when she felt the hand on her shoulder, spinning to see who it was. Seeing it was Mavis, someone she thinks highly of, her eyes widen in shock. She backs away, wrapping her arms around herself.

Clearly, Anastasia was terrified.]

No! No, stay away! I don't want to hurt you too!

[Mavis blinked.] Why would you hurt me?

[This was really unlike Anastasia. She was always so sweet and polite. Mavis didn't think she was capable of willingly hurting anybody. Mavis didn't even know if she could hurt her if she wanted to. The Fairy Tail guild master was a lot stronger and more powerful than she looked like.

...Could it have to do with last week's event? It was over, though. But maybe Anastasia didn't know. Or maybe it had been so traumatizing, she still couldn't shake herself out of it.]

...Did it feel like you were someone different last week? Because if so, it happened to me as well, you know.

[Anastasia was trembling, not from the cold but from the thoughts and ideas that were like her own.

She looked at her hands expecting to see them drenched and dripping in blood, yet nothing. She can't tell if this makes her innocent, or just a disaster that hasn't happened yet. How can she separate these false memories from real ones?]

T-that wasn't me! It couldn't have been... I don't know who I am anymore...

[Mavis smiled at her.] You're Anastasia. You're a good person. That's who you are.

[She noticed the way Anastasia was looking down at her hands. What was she seeing there? She took a step closer.] Do you know some place where we could go get a hot drink? A hot cocoa for instance? You know Nova City better than I do.

[A good person? Anastasia can't understand how that's possible when her memory of two different points in apparent reality tell her otherwise.

She has no idea what she wants or what to believe. She was startled and gasped with a step back when she noticed Mavis got closer. Anastasia trusts Mavis, but can she trust herself? She glanced at her feet, then to her right, across the street. There was a small place open 24/7.]

...There... But, why?

Why not?

[Mavis smiled gently again.] When my mind is confused, having a hot beverage and a chat with a friend usually helps me. We are friends, aren't we?

[Friends? But can Anastasia really be friends with anyone now? With what she has done, or may one day do?

For a long moment, she looked between the café and Mavis until finally, she holds her hand out to her for her to take and lead.]

We are.

[Mavis gladly took her hand and lead her to the place she had designated. Once inside, Mavis picked a cozy table in a corner and ordered hot cocoa for the two of them.

As the waitress left, Mavis turned back to Anastasia.] Looks like we both had an unsettling week, didn't we?

How about you tell me about yours? I'll tell you about mine after.

[Once she was settled at the table, she was quiet again for a long moment, trying to separate what she knows of her apparent two lives.]

It was...like a dream. I had the title of "Her Imperial Highness." I had always known my country to be the Kingdom of Regnum Nivibus, but in this dream... It was the Great Nivian Holy Empire.

We were...warriors. I remember... A rebellion... Or an invasion... Maybe both... I was with my father, and we defeated them. My father offered the commanders something.

He said... He will give them a gift of florins if the commander executes some of his own men. A larger gift of florins and a home in Nivia if he executes half of his men. ...He also offered... if the commander executes all of his men, he can return home and tell his leaders of his own treachery.

[She lowered her head on her crossed arms on the table.]

I was in full agreement with the offer. I believed it just and fair. And during this past week... I wondered how I could manipulate Attleton's leaders just so I could use the colosseum for gladiatorial executions...

[She lifted her head again, tears welling up in her eyes.]

I still don't know if that's me or not...

[Her Imperial Highness? Well that was something they had had in common, that pas week.

As she listened to Anastasia, Mavis' expression remained soft. She wasn't judging her, even as she talked of condoning executions.]

How is your Kingdom back home? The one you come from, I mean, not the one from last week. And how is your father normally?

Regnum Nivibus... Still Nivia informally... It was a kingdom that kept to itself. Keeping it's borders only to where the Endless Winter reaches. It's always snowing, so it was popular destination for honeymooners. It believes strongly in honor, protection and tradition. Our territory never expanded past it's current borders in over a thousand years.

[She paused as she adjusted her hair, push it back behind her and out of her way.]

My father never had much time for me, and he was over protective. He hired only female staff and kept me out of contact with men. It was my mother who mostly raised me. Father focused entirely on meeting with general knight representatives from the provinces to make sure he hears from all the people.

He's a big man who can be overly critical, but only approves of war when it's in defense of the nation.

Then, you have your answer: it was not you. It's the person you could have become if you'd been raised in a different kingdom by a different father. But just like your actual father wouldn't do or approve of the things you saw him do in your... 'dream', you wouldn't either.

The fact that you're so upset about it right now proves it as well.

But isn't it possible that I can still become that?

I don't even know who is worse off. My Imperial self, or my royal self...

Not if you genuinely dislike that person you thought you were that week. That's the only thing that can prevent you from ever becoming her. Because you don't want to ever become her.

[She thanked the waitress as she brought their hot beverages. Then she waited until she was gone, and smiled at Anastasia.]

Then don't be either of them. Just be Anastasia.

[It was because she's a Princess that she struggles so hard to remain strong and not shed any tears or doubt her own capacity, but she just can't shake off the fear that she can still become a tyrannical monster.

The road to hell is paved with good intentions, after all. And you either die a hero, or you live long enough to see yourself become the villain.]

I still don't know... There is something about me that few people know about.

[She hesitates on continuing. She lightly gripped her glass and pulled it closer, not yet taking a drink.]

[Mavis takes a sip of her own cup.] What is it?

[Anastasia looks around to make sure no one else is too close to hear. She'd rather keep this private.]

...Do you believe in higher beings? Goddesses? Do you believe they can interact with mortals, for better or worse?

[She did take a sip of her drink before going further.]

I...don't know how to clearly explain it... I suppose "Goddess Touched" is accurate enough. It's made me...unnatural.

[Mavis nods, without hesitation.] I do. [She's experienced it first hand, several times. For better or for worse.]

Which Goddess was it, if I may ask? And by 'unnatural', you mean she gave you special abilities or do you refer to something else?

[She breathed in deep than let out a big sigh. Thinking about it makes her worry she will lose control of them at any moment.]

...Almost all of them. ...On top of the magic I already have, I have a share of each of their power. Additional magic, plus physical manifestations of their power. Both of which are very dangerous... Because I have so much magic that isn't my own, I have noticed I stopped growing up.

[She briefly looks away.]

I don't yet know what else it has done to me. But I am afraid I can lose control and become what I fear the most. ...It's already happened once before.

All of them? [Mavis blinks.] How many of them are there?

You'd have to tell me a bit more about the nature of those powers and physical manifestations for me to understand. [What she says about not growing up because of the magic that is not her own has Mavis pause. That sounds almost toofamiliar.] ...You stopped aging? Did it make you immortal too?

[She looks at her, gently, not judging.] When did it happened and why? Do you remember?

There's ten of them total that have been known to interact with mortals in the ancient eras... I've met with seven of them so far.

[She takes a big drink from her mug as she tries to think of how to best explain the magic.]

The new magic... It calls on the full force of nature's wrath. Tsunamis, firestorms, earthquakes... That sort. I don't know if I am immortal, though. I just know that I haven't grown an inch. As for physical manifestations... They each gave me a magic weapon. If I use them, whichever Goddess gave me the weapon will "share" my body. If I use it too long, she will completely take over and run wild.

[Anastasia pauses as she recalls her adventures before Genessia.]

If we count my time here, it was over two years ago now. Sayame, the Goddess of Oceans, told me I am the only person who can wield magic naturally, the closest relative to their now extinct creations, and they needed my help to defeat a re-awakening evil that drove them from our world. The Goddesses share their power with me, while he hunts them down and tries to steal all of their power. He already stole fragments of two of them, and the whole of two others.

[Long story short, she is forced to become a demi-human to be used as a weapon against another demi-human.]

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[Action] La princesse et une réalité

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