Text | An important PSA

[mother_of_monsters]

Attention, everyone!

Let me clarify a few things about our new citizen Spider-man, who seems to be confused about his own identity.

A) He:

X - Isn’t made of spiders
X - Doesn’t lay eggs
X - Doesn’t try to eat his partner’s head after sex
X - Doesn’t suck dry his prey

Conclusion: Not a spider

B) But he:

✔ Is coloured in red, blue and black
✔ Squeaks
✔ Can fly (kinda)

Conclusion: Parrot




So from now on, remember to address Mr. Parrot-man accurately.

Thank you!

/ᐠ __ ᐟ\
(=｀ﻌ´=) ฅ˒˒♥

Comments

Anon text

[spidertwerp]

I told you I wasn't a spider. I'm like a spider.

I can do what a spider can!

[mother_of_monsters]

Parrot-man! So good talking to you again.

Do you shed your skin?

[Dray's never ending knowledge about arachnids will haunt you, Spider-man.]

Anon text

[spidertwerp]

All humans shed their skin too.

Spider-Man.

[mother_of_monsters]

What, really? EW.

[He doesn't know all that much about human biology.]

So you are human but you are also Spideman...why? you never told me. Others humans don't dress up and compare themselves to other animals.

[spidertwerp]

Yes, every seven years you are wearing entirely new skin.

It's a secret, I'm afraid. I'm just out here trying to help people and keep everyone safe, is that so bad?

[mother_of_monsters]

It takes that long? Spiders just get rid of it in a moment, like some snakes.

No no, that's not bad at all. Are you sure you won't get in trouble with the law, though? You need a licence to be a bounty hunter.

[spidertwerp]

Haven't run into any trouble so far!

[mother_of_monsters]

So far! Be careful, you never know what might happens. Specially now that the Guardian elections just happened and everyone has new projects in mind.

[spidertwerp]

I'm not too worried about it! I'm pretty quick.

Text

[twin_tailed_wolf]

That fourth one under A. Did you have to word it that way?

Text

[mother_of_monsters]

Word it...how?

I guess I could have used 'devour'.

Text

[twin_tailed_wolf]

Yeah. Context matters. "Drain the prey dry of their innards" or as you said "devour."

But anyways, I've never met this "Parrot-Man" before. Does he repeat random phrases, too?

[mother_of_monsters]

What did you think I was talking about?

[He really wasn't trying to make a sex joke for once, really.]

Yeah! He keeps saying 'I can do what spiders can'...but he can not.

[twin_tailed_wolf]

A holy woman cannot say. But it is lewd.

[She would rather not remain on that topic.]

So, what exactly can he do? Or maybe I should look for him and ask him myself?

[mother_of_monsters]

You're a priestess or something like that? I had no idea. And lewd, why? It's only eating.

[But he is curious now :C]

You know, I'm not really sure. Maybe he can stuck to places.

[twin_tailed_wolf]

Drop it, Cat-Man.

[Dog thing go bork bork.]

So he's sticky? Maybe he's a Slime?

[She should really probably just ask him.]

[mother_of_monsters]

Uh huh. Fine, but only because you asked. And talking about cats, I need to show you my baby!

[Meaniiie]

His suit didn't look very slimy. Perhaps he has hair that gets stuck to walls?

[Nah, this is more fun.]

text;

[gamerrep]

Aren't the things you mentioned spider wise what the woman spiders do? Would be odd for a male to bite off the head after that type of thing.

text;

[mother_of_monsters]

That's a very good point but I am not 100% convinced that he's a boy. He has a very hight pitched voice and he lied to me before.

text;

[gamerrep]

What did he lie to you about before?

text;

[mother_of_monsters]

He said he could do anything a spider can.

text;

[gamerrep]

What about what a male spider can? Not counting female spiders.

Re: text;

[mother_of_monsters]

Male spiders hunt and suck dry their prey but he says he doesn't do that either. He's a really ineffective spider wannabe, if you ask me.

text;

[gamerrep]

I thought they just ate them. That is my something new.

Re: text;

[mother_of_monsters]

Spiders can't chew or swallow so that's how they eat their food. There were a lot of them in my world.