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[polyandrist]

[So there is a shot of a pair of legs dangling out of a box over either a great height or some sort of photoshop. The legs for a second, readjusting before the camera is lifted upwards, showing off more than a little bit of the outside of a blue wooden box. Then it settles onto the face of one River Song, with a look that she doesn't wear often: boredom.

She's been avoiding the network and people in general for the past six weeks, other than her classes and her family.]

Well, that's quite enough of that. For those who don't know, I'm River Song. I'm bored and have a TARDIS any takers?

Comments

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[ubiquitously]

What's a "TARDIS," if I may ask, Ms Song?

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[polyandrist]

Dr. Song, actually. And it's this blue box that travels in time and space, though here it's much more limited than it would be back home.

Did I mention it's bigger on the inside?

[ubiquitously]

Time and space?

Have you also 'ascended,' by any chance, Dr Song?

[polyandrist]

I'm afraid that's going to depend on what you mean by that word there, dear.

[ubiquitously]

Hm... If you didn't make the connection, then probably not.

How do you travel, then? Do you use a different magic from mine?

[polyandrist]

[River just gestures at the box that she's currently sitting in the doorway of.]

By TARDIS.

[ubiquitously]

I see... I've seen machines that can travel up and down timelines, and ones that can travel along branching alternate universes, but never one that can jump to parallel lines. Interesting.

Is this a scientific advancement of your world, or something else?

[Video]

[uccellodifuoco]

Wouldn't that depend on what a TARDIS is?

[A beat.]

Ah, I apologize in advance if that's a thing common in this world, I'm still not fully familiar with the place.

[Since, as far as he knows, it could be a stupid question.]

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[polyandrist]

A TARDIS is a lovely blue box that travels in space and time. Unfortunately, it's a bit more limited here with the archways and what not. No time travel allowed, alas.

[Video]

[uccellodifuoco]

So right now it's like a car, but less noisy?

[How much noise can a box make?]

Pity it can't travel through time at the moment, though then you probably wouldn't be bored. My name's Phoenix Ikki, can I go?

[He's more curious than bored actually, but he supposes it doesn't really matter.]

[Video]

[polyandrist]

Oi! [River puts her hand on the side of the TARDIS and strokes it.] Don't insult her like that. It's instant travel here.

And sure, if you fancy and adventure.

[spacepeterpan]

[Well someone feels a bit irked at this.]

Oi, it's not a cruise ship, or an Uber.

[...safe to say he's probably 90% annoyed at being left out, but.]

[polyandrist]

I'm not saying it is, my love. I'm saying it's a ticket to adventure. Do you want one.

[That may be a patented River Song smirk there.]

[spacepeterpan]

[The Doctor makes a sort of petulant face (since she's going for an argument the spirit of which he honestly agrees with in many ways) and wags a finger at her.]

Yeah, well... ...since when do I need a ticket?

[...he has a suspicion she's just trolling him, but she's enough of a troublemaker by nature that it's hard to really be sure...]

[polyandrist]

[Of course she's trolling him. When does she not troll him?]

Since when do you not?

[spacepeterpan]

[She might have (deliberately or not) overplayed her hand just a little there, since he gives her an "okay now I know you're just being a pain on purpose" look.]

I know I don't 'cause I know who you leave notes for asking for a lift.

[Sure, they're usually when she's jumped out of a spaceship or a building or the regular flow of time rather than when she needs to visit the shops, but a lift is a lift.]

[polyandrist]

[River is just going to sigh melodramatically at that.]

As if you don't enjoy those days, Sweetie.

[Video]

[fairysoul]

You do?

[She's heard about it from Rose. And she's been meaning to ask her and the Doctor to give her a tour for a while now. But this might be as good an opportunity as any.]

Count me in!

[Video]

[polyandrist]

Excellent. What kind of adventure are you looking for?

[Video]

[justabitunlikely]

You're giving TARDIS rides? Really? Do you just want to see peoples reactions to it or something?

[Jenny sounds oddly amused.]

[Video]

[polyandrist]

[River just grinned at Jenny, her eyes sparkling before she pressed a finger to her lips.]

Shush, you're going to ruin the surprise for them!

Re: [Video]

[justabitunlikely]

Well, I never said what they'd be reacting to now did I?

[She was grinning back at River, obviously quite amused by the situation.]

[Video]

[polyandrist]

Just the idea that they're going to need to react to something changes the experience, dear.

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[justabitunlikely]

Oh, well I'll be more careful next time then.

[Though she certainly wasn't sorry about it either.]

[Video]

[polyandrist]

[That makes River laugh.]

That sounds like something I'd say.