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[Action, OTA] Robear. It's every bit as dumb as it sounds.
Ted's wanderings place him under the bright lights of Nova City today, being carried along by one of its automated sidewalks. Per usual, he's absorbed in his ruminations and poetic contemplation. He didn't notice the island of greenery he was taken past. He didn't detect the rustling of the bushes. He didn't hear the small, mechanical gyros of an ursine, automated head turning fatefully in his direction. He didn't see the malevolent, red glow that flashed in its black, cold, unfeeling eyes. He did not feel the profound hatred it bore in its circuitous heart for blondes. Blondes like him. And so it took him completely by surprise as several hundred pounds of synthetic fur and steel leaped from the green and crashed onto the moving road.
Reflex and convenience alone saved him from being underneath its oppressive weight; it did not calculate the trajectory of a moving target as the automated sidewalk moved him. Gasps and shrieks sprang from the pedestrians in the fore- and backgrounds. Their fight so freshly begun had attracted a few eyes.
Reeling from the shock and suddenness of the attack, the robotic bear made the first moves, biting and swiping at him with mechanical ruthlessness. Ted's footing was unfamiliar as he bobbed and weaved past its assault of claws and teeth. In a few seconds, his instincts turned from "flight" to "fight". Despite his idiotic appearance, Ted's nerves were well honed for combat, even against unusual foes. A few back-flips, compensated against the steady pace of the sidewalk, made some distance between them. The bear charged headfirst to recapture its prey, as Ted suspected it would. He sank lower to the ground, tensing the muscles in his legs, and waited for his split-second moment: the very instant when its head crossed the threshold over his foot. The robear threw its all at him, wishing with all its soulless malevolence to destroy the object of its iron ire. Here was the instant. Spinning with all the beauty of a crescent moon, Ted lift off and kicked, striking it clean on the chin as Ted's head went under his heels.
It was a bold move, and it worked out for him. Once he was right-side-up again, he observed the state of his erstwhile enemy. Electrical circuits sparked and crackled at the base of its neck. A few seconds later, a metallic thud announced its decapitation. The rest of its body sank and fell to the earth with a tremor. Ted let out an anxious breath; he had won! He looked around at the crowd that had now assembled. He gave them a comforting, triumphant smile.
They were not comforted.
Sirens announced the oncoming arrival of the police. The onlookers, meanwhile, began to chatter among themselves.
"Did you see that?"
"Yes; that bear met a grisly end."
"Shut up, Carl."
"Sorry."
"Oh, I read about those blonde-hating-bears in the paper! That's one more off the street!"
"Weren't those supposed to be returned?"
"Oh, yes, you're right. No doubt its inventors, to say nothing of its investors, paid a lot of good money to build something so complex."
"And he kicked it to pieces."
"It would seem so."
"It must have been cheaply made to be so easily beheaded."
"Even so, shouldn't bounty hunters be more responsible? What if that were a person?"
"Hey, are you saying robots aren't people?"
"Shut up, Carl."
"How do you know he's a bounty hunter?"
"I know all of them! If there were collectible cards made, I'd own them all! I'd know those vomit-inducing colors anywhere; that's Theodore Satchel!"
"Oh, if you say so. Yes, I believe bounty hunters are encouraged to avoid destroying their targets. Isn't that what the licenses are for?"
"Pff, for all the good it does. How long did it take to capture the All City Naturals? A month? More?"
"That's the guys that were drowning people with...hand-made orange juice, right?"
"Yeah, something you'd think our law enforcement would be all over!"
"I think a deputy did...one..."
"And the other five had to be outsourced! It's an outrage!"
"So what are you saying? That bounty hunters do the important stuff while politicians sit pretty?"
"Sure looks that way! They do all the work and they're the ones being cuffed by red tape! When's the last time our actual Guardians guarded anything?"
"Hah, fancy Garrus kicking a robot apart!"
"Speaking of blondes and kicking people's heads off, I heard he lost his partner."
"Really? I didn't hear anything like that!"
"The citizens are always the last to know. I can bearly stand it."
"Carl, we're not friends anymore."
Ted was speechless at the turn their talk had taken, but before he could respond, the police wanted a few words...
After the police pleasantries concluded, Ted sullenly occupied a bench just outside the Guardian Skyrise. He'd never failed a bounty before; indeed, he knew no one who had. Granted, it was an accident; an attack that had happened before he'd availed himself of the Tribune. That didn't do much to stem his gloom.
"How was I to know that bellicose bear was something to be preserved? That hardly seemed the case from my perspective. How could a malfunction turn it violent? Wouldn't that mean it had the inherent capacity for aggression built-in? Why? Was it some sort of...guard...grizzly? Why would anyone make such a thing? What a ridiculous robot! As if the world's animals weren't false enough already."
For all this self-spoken protest, Ted was still pretty bummed out. He needs to think didactically. What lesson could be learned from all this?
"...Maybe I should be more careful about what I decapitate."
There we go.
no subject
So it's not unusual to see him meandering through the streets at this time. What is unusual is watching this perky blond get all serious and decapitate a robotic bear. That was quite a sight to behold. Augustine just thought this annoying lad was just some goofy looking youth.
It seems he's quite wrong.]
You admit to finding sport in such violence, hm?
no subject
Eheh, if you call that sporting. I'm glad you enjoyed it, at least. The rest seem to find my flip-kicks a little flippant...
no subject
[The applause ceases once Ted makes his way over. Augustine gives the lad a friendly pat on the shoulder.]
I never thought you would be so nimble.
no subject
Seems those dance classes are finally paying off, eh?
Mhmhm. Are they fools? Perhaps more substantial matters concern them than spectacle. Of course, I know full well how much you adore that sort of thing, as though pugilism was a preliminary to pageantry. I, ah, had the fortune to catch you with your performance. It was...
[How to put this]
...eheh, really something.
no subject
It might be Astaroth's fault. The demon likes seeing humanity struggle as it is.]
No need to over explain the reason for my amusement, no? I care little if others find such things in poor taste and as far as I'm concern, you was right to defend yourself.
[He smirks.]
You just chosen to defend yourself in the most elegant manner.
no subject
Elegance! Hahahaha!
[He could've laughed for an hour. He was cut short when the robotic police force approached. They make good time, don't they?]
"Theodore Satchel. You are wanted at the station for questioning. Please come with us."
[He gave them a glance, then grinned.]
It's nice to be wanted, eh? Well, let's hope the ro-boys in blue share your aesthetic opinion. Good afternoon, Augustine, and thank you for the encouragement.
["Elegant." And they say Ted's a clown.]
no subject
You handled yourself with better finesse than most, Theodore.
[He explains before being rudely interrupted by the robotic police. The dhampir gives them a slight glare but doesn't try to interfere. That would land his ass in jail and he honestly doesn't want to spend his evening in cuffs.]
Might want to remind them that the robotic bear initiated the fight.
Aftermath
Something about a bear?
A bounty perhaps?
Bridget joined the crowd.]
Hey, hey! What's this about a bear?
[And who's Carl?]
Re: Aftermath
herBridget into their chatter.]"No, little girl, a robot"
"A robot bear!"
"A robear!"
"That is not a word."
"That's what they said about all words before their invention!"
"If it was before all words, how could they have said anything? Grunts?"
"Whatever; the point is, that guy trashed it."
[An alien finger points in Ted's direction. He's looking a bit shell-shocked.]
"Such a shame too. Think of all the good the world could've had from it."
"...Like what?"
"...maybe they'd put it in the zoo?"
"You idiot; why would people go to the zoo to see robots?"
"They might for robears"
"Carl I swear by all you hold dear-"
"Maybe it would be a toy?"
"Pff! Yeah, who could afford it? Who'd buy it? Fat chance of selling a killer robot bear after that little whoopsie."
"If you ask me, young miss, it's a good thing for you that it was put to pasture. Your little blonde, extremely feminine hair would've been the death of you."
"...He still broke it though. Very careless."
"Oh, absolutely. Won't be fit for much more than Tanner's Scrapyard now."
[There's no end to this buzzing, Bridget. Run while you can. Or interrogate the culprit in question.]
Re: Aftermath
[Bridget simply says puffing his cheeks. Honestly, he didn't get it with these people.]
And stop saying those things. You'll hurt Rodger's feelings. Ah-!
[He spots Ted when pointed.]
Please excuse me.
[Oh, he was running for dear life, away from the strange crowd, to Ted though.]
Hi Mr. Ted. What happened here? Are you okay?
Re: Aftermath
"Could've fooled me!"
"Who's Rodger?"
[The gossip dies down as Ted relaxes at a familiar face.]
Oh, good morning Bridget. As, aheh, you can see...
[He meekly swept his arm towards their surroundings: a sizzling robo-bear-torso and its mechanical skull a few meters apart.]
Got into a scrap, and here's the wreckage.
[Can Bridget handle that sparkling wit? But then he remembers what one of the crowd said...]
Er, have you gotten the newspaper this week? May I see it?
Re: Aftermath
That's a big wreckage. Did you did that?
[He probably forgotten what the crowd told him by now.]
Ah! I think so. Hmm...
[He fiddles with his pockets until he reaches his back pockets.]
Here you go.
Re: Aftermath
[Don't judge him. He takes the paper and flips through its pages.]
Thank you. Let's see, puzzles...that one looks fun. Funny papers...haha, that dog is so large! Horoscopes...goodness, who could care. Ah! Here we are: bounties.
[He mumbled the description. His eyes settle for a moment, then bug out.]
Bridget! You, aheh, really ought to leave. Instantly. There's more where they came from and they rather hate us both. Any city will do--not Everglade, of course--but certainly not this one.
[With a firm, almost paternal hand, he's none-too-gently trying to usher Bridget back to the Archway. Time to exeunt.
really he's just salty about losing the money.]Re: Aftermath
Horoscope! What do they say for Scorpio?
[Clearly he does. Don't mind him trying to look from Ted's back with tip toes. Let him see!]
Eh?
[Ted, what?]
Really? I can help if you want.
[He asks while being ushered... Teeeeeeeeeed!]
Re: Aftermath
[He says, stuffing it back in Bridget's back pocket. It's important for the young to read, after all. And to stay far away from danger, no matter how incredibly unnerving their childhood. Do you hear that? That wailing, siren sound? That's the sound of the robo-police swooping in to have a word with him. Fiddlesticks!]
Ahaha, no! That's, aheh, not necessary, but I appreciate the sentiment.
[No he doesn't because Bridget is a child who has no business with mechanical bears. Or so he thinks. The well-meaning shoving continues until his attention is commanded by a mechanical monotone.]
Theodore. Satchel. Please return to the station for questioning. Your cooperating is appreciated.
[Darn, the pigs have him in their sights. Anxiously he looks between Bridget and the mechanized police. Well, no reason to go anarchist just yet.]
Ah...all right.
[A worried look goes to Bridget.]
Good morning, Bridget; got to go. Please go away likewise until all blows over, please.
Re: Aftermath
Ah... you know, you could of handed it to me. Thank you.
[Bridget starts reading a little while listening to Ted. Then when it came to his horoscope, Bridget read it out loud.]
Everything needs to be placed in context. You don't have the full story yet, so you need to reserve your judgement until you do. What seems like a clear cut situation may in fact be much deeper, and far more detailed, that you initially imagined. Try to understand the motivations of the people involved.
[Bridget is in deep thought until the intercom kicks in.]
Ah, did they say something?
[No really, he wasn't listening. Then looks back to Ted.]
Um, okay. Please be careful Mr. Ted.
Re: Aftermath
I will, and you too! Good morning!
[Phew, saving Bridget from getting in over his blonde, uncomfortably effeminate head. He'll take that as his good deed for the day. But for how long?]
Re: Aftermath
Remember your horoscope Bridget. Remember it.]