005 🏹 [ACTION] Not Dealing With Emotions

[dragonsmark]

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[[CONTENT WARNING: alcohol, drunkeness.]]

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[For better or for worse, Hanzo has found himself a moment of quiet. The bad part is, is that he's been doing his best to keep himself busy. The good part is, he has several cans of beer to keep him company for the time being. Not exactly one for PUBLIC drinking, Hanzo has found a quiet corner in one of the larger parks to sit by the water and drink.

Genji disappeared back home over a month ago, and his brother's disappearance had been something he'd tried to ignore, but as feelings do when they're left to sit and grow sour it cut into his sleep and then his waking hours. Working at the shop with Cordelia had been something to keep him busy, but even there, he'd run out of things to do. His thoughts eventually drift to the one serious conversation he'd managed to have with Genji, and then the seeds of reconciliation that had been planted but not really come to fruition]

A wasted opportunity, you old fool. Not that you deserved redemption. [talking to himself, now. That's great. He looks down at the can in his hand and frowns, emptying it by tossing it back and then crushing it in his hand. It joins the rest of the dead soldiers next to him, and Hanzo shuts his eyes to let the pleasant swimming sensation shove the unpleasant feelings he'd rather avoid back into the void from where they came.]

[[OPTION ONE]] [Should someone approach him, he could still be sitting up staring into the water of the lake he's chosen to sit by, or, should they find him as the sun starts to dip over the horizon and it's begun to grow dark...

He's taking an impromptu nap in the grass.]

[[OPTION TWO]] [Eventually he's going to try to wander home. He's cleaned up after himself, but that doesn't mean he's sober. Not by a longshot. There's a blush to his face, and his steps, while carefully measured, still sway and hesitate slightly. At one point he stops his stroll to hold onto a iron fence post to steady himself, the once pleasant swimming feeling now decidedly overpowering at times. When he moves to walk again, he might just bump into someone, or stumble trying to avoid them.]

Fool.

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[[CONTENT WARNING: alcohol, drunkeness.]]

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Comments

[hardlightitect]

At least someone will be here if you decide to try anything stupid.

[Other than that she'll say nothing for a while. Enjoying the view and the quiet. After maybe... 20, 30 minutes, she'll speak again.]

Do you wish to speak of what is troubling you?

[dragonsmark]

I am not that foolish. I do not plan to do anything but drink.

[he pauses.]

It is none of your concern. [bitch he don't know u.]

[hardlightitect]

So have said others in your position.

[She looks at him and sighs quietly. Anyone can see the weight on his shoulders. But, she won't press, right now, because he does have a point.

Instead, she will make light constructs, one of which is a dragon she flies through the air.]

[dragonsmark]

[Even through the comfortably warm haze that's settled in he recognizes what that is.]

You're the Vishkar I spoke to. [a realization he should have come to when she materialize a fucking chair out of nothing, but there's something to be said for his current state and attention span.]

[hardlightitect]

I'm assuming you are one of the people who spoke to me when I first arrived then, yes?

[She flies it around his head before she makes it settle on her hand to fiddle with it more.]

Satya Vaswani. Former employee of Vishkar, considering.

[dragonsmark]

Considering what?

[there's a slight sway in the way he sits up, his vision still fixed on the calm water in front of them, now that the dragons are done doing the swoopy nonsense around his head.]

[hardlightitect]

Vishkar is not here. [A sigh.]

And I'm no longer under their thumb.

[dragonsmark]

You sound as though you regret your position.

[something he can relate to. He keeps that thought pushed solidly at the edges of his consciousness, however. At least for now.]

[hardlightitect]

Not... regret, per se.

But after being with them for so long, and being under their thumbs for that time. It's an interesting, and uncomfortable feeling.

[Not to mention dealing with the doubts after certain events.]

This... freedom... leaves a weird taste.

[dragonsmark]

Hm. [It's not really very helpful, the grunt. But it's one he defaults to when he has no words to offer.]

You will grow into your wings only if you use them. [or, you'll try to fly and wind up falling. As far as freedom goes, you might as well use it.]

Do not take it for granted.

[hardlightitect]

I don't think I will. I find myself teaching now, instead of doing whatever Vishkar had me do.

[She looks over at him for a moment, before returning her eyes to the view.]

What are you doing with your wings?

[dragonsmark]

Hm. [Does he have a right to wings?]

Making my own way. [sorta.] Looking to make amends for actions I have done in my past.

[one, in particular]

[hardlightitect]

[Hanzo, dear, don't make her break the fourth wall and find that money jar. Because she will.]

Hmmm. Someone of the Shimada family would have amends to make.

[dragonsmark]

[He frowns. Of course.]

You know little of what amends I need to make. There is no clearing the burden I am left to bear.

[hardlightitect]

[She tilts her head for a moment.]

You intend to let this weight hold you down forever?

[dragonsmark]

Why should I not?

[He tried to kill his brother. Why shouldn't he hold onto that guilt?]

[hardlightitect]

What weight could hold you down so?

[Thinking a moment, a small girl with a glare comes to mind for a second.]

Have you considered forgiveness?

[dragonsmark]

[he clenches his fists.]

Forgiveness. [That much, he's been given.]

It has been offered, but I do not deserve it.

[hardlightitect]

[She pauses for a moment before speaking again.]

What have you done that makes you believe you don't deserve what's been offered, I'm assuming freely.