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[Starting from from the 18th of August, Leanne has rarely gone home, usually she been spending the day working and then the majority of the night at the After Life, drinking. It was surprising how easy it was to regress to old habits before being reunited with her mate. Tonight was one of those nights were she spent, drinking away.

Leanne sighs as she finishes a shot and sets it down with a loud thud, idly tapping on the counter to order another shot. She realizing that her communicator was on, she goes to look towards it.]

Does anyone know just how to go home? Even for a little bit?

[The other shot was delivered and she goes to down it, shuddering a little.]

I am worried about my people and being away from them for so long. Plus, around this time is important to us and I miss it....

[Another tap on the counter to order yet another shot before she reaches over to turn off the communicator.]

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[HERON HISS.] Nothing you say, but I remember my baby sister getting mad enough to tell me not to drink around her and to come to her instead. Is this how Ace taught you to settle things? Because I've got a few complaints about him as a captain then!

No, it isn't how Ace taught me. This is something I have learned back home. [Orders another shot.] Also, last I checked, alcohol doesn't care about what sex drinks it. Be it either me or Ikki, if one is allowed to drink then should the other.

Really.

[Arches an eyebrow and softens his temper, grabbing a seat next to her, before putting a wing around her shoulders.] I see. Is that how it is?

I've been derelict. Ikkun shouldn't be drinking so much either, my Queen. I will take him out to Pops' memorial and give him a sound talking to. And if that doesn't work, I'll kick his stupid feathery butt.

[She sighs as the shot was delivered and holds it in her hands.]

It matters not, Brother. He will be miserable without it so it will be best to let him have it as long as he desires I am near my place of work so once it gets too much I can just crash there and not be late for my job. But for right now, I have no one waiting for me but in Serenes.

[Downs the shot with a little bit of difficulty.]

No, he won't. He's letting himself be morose. That is not your fault, but don't you dare follow him. It is the very worst side of being a phoenix. I need all my family on a regular basis to keep engaged in the world or I'd also hide away and pretend nothing else existed.

Ikki is stronger than that. He does want to be right now, but he must be. For himself as much as you. And you are not to blame for it. It takes ALL my family working together to pull me out of it. One alone cannot.

[Waves the bartender over and gets to order this time around a glass of beer.]

Brother, this is how I have dealt with things for years before I was reunited with Ikki. He is right now with his new love and eventually, after my birthday is when he will fall out of love with it and come back to me. Let him have his affair.

[She sighs and shrugs her shoulders.]

But your wife should be enough to pull you out of it. She is the one that should give you the motivation to keep yourself engaged. Otherwise, why did you pick her to become your other half? Especially if you claim to love her.

My words and desires and wishes were not enough for Ikki to return to me. So, I shall wait but not at the home he desired. If all I have waiting for me is an empty bed to sleep and wake, then I might as well be back in Serenes or at least close to work.

Edited 2018-08-29 13:43 (UTC)

No. No, no, and no.

That's not how it works. He's not in love with the bottle or being numb. He's running scared. [Bares teeth.] And thinking like that is also all wrong, Leanne. I'm very much in love with her, but that doesn't negate my family, nor should it. She cannot replace them. Having Ash around does take some of the edge off, but I know it is my fault for encouraging her to accept Toby into her heart in the first place. And it is my fault he had to be locked away safely. How can she look at me and not feel those things as well, eh? I once risked my marriage to her in order to try to find my brother, Espio. Refusing that risk was one of the toughest choices I've ever made, and I'm still not sure it was right.

There is much troubling him right now, and try as you might, he doesn't want to let you sacrifice yourself to fix it, understand? Because if his darkness should harm you, it will tear him apart.

If you wish to try the Dream Docks, I will not persuade you otherwise, but let me take you and Ikki to my father's home once first. I am not safe to be in your forest, and Ikki... in his current state... He needs someone who can kick his head in, not your loving approach, I'm sorry.

Yes, he is in love with the bottle. Cause he is waking up to is and going to be with it. Abandoning me so he can nature and tend to it.

[Okay, the beer was delivered and she goes to take a swig of it.]

So then he doesnt trust me.... Perhaps them we should have a talk again once he decided to end his affair.

[She is getting annoyed and angry now. Waving the barker over to get her check, paying her bill.]

I will be heading to bed now. You can head back to the Estate. I have work tomorrow.

[Leanne might be annoyed, but Marco has only been this angry with someone he still loved ONCE, and it was incidentally enough at Selphie when she did something similar. How could they act like they loved Ikki and then do this?]

Wonderful.

[Blue eyes blaze, and the flames swirl around his arms, back, neck, and head.] I tell you he's hurting, that he needs you, but he's scared of hurting you with his darkness, and your response is to show you're already too hurt to get anywhere close to his protective flames. That's a fantastic way to run a marriage, Leanne.

Well, go on. Run away little heron. I had thought you stronger than this, but I can see I was wrong.

[Marco doesn't really know anything does he? Yes, she loves him, loves him so much and that is why this whole thing is hurting her.]

So even though all I have is an empty and cold bed to welcome me. I should ignore all of my needs, all of my pain and just be a smiling wife to him? Even when he shuns his protective flames away from me I should just ignore everything and just cater to him? Like a good mindless girl? But that would make both you and him happy. And only you two, no matter how much pain and suffering I must endure because of his abandonment.

No! [Growls!] You should show him all of this! Tell him to stop being a selfish spoiled brat who isn't thinking of you, and only trying to shield himself instead of letting you face it with him!

I will drag him out by the ear, little sister, I swear on my father's mark and grave.

[He got so mad he slipped into phoenix there.]

But I have already showed it to him. When we were first reunited I showed everything to him because it was a part of a vow we made to each other.

[She closes her eyes and finishes her drink.]

You truly do not seem to know or understand me, or at least the difference between the Leanne you knew and me. You assume many things of me, without bothering to learn of me. I ask not much of Ikki during this time because I know of the pain he goes through. Of this "darkness". I only wanted him to at least come back to me at night, but instead all I have is an empty bed to return to and to wake up to.

Perhaps, it is a good thing that no nestling is in me yet.

[The anger goes out of him like wind deflated from his lungs and he leans his forehead to hers.]

You trust him so much, you think he's stronger than he is, and in so doing, he's scared to ever let you down or ever fail you.

Look into my heart Leanne, I will show you.

[And he gives her his memories, crystal crisp, of just him and Ikki in her forest. All the out of control swirling clock rage that coursed inside him during that time, how he couldn't sleep, how he spent it giving ducklings baths, and when Ikki found him, Ikki held his head under water and nearly drowned him -- the only way a phoenix like Marco could be truly killed. The fire and anger and rage of them both. Seething at the peace of the forest. Teeming with too much life and bursting at the seams without the fire's volcanic outlet to use it to destroy and purge.]

[Marco carefully pulled back, tucked away that it was Selphie, that Leanne was with Naesala. Though he carefully brought to the surface Leanne showing him, Marco, where she was kept safe in the forest, his promise, his solemn vow not to leave her alone, to do everything in his power so she'd never be lonely again.]

[And fast forward to when Ikki was sent back out of that world of oceans, beyond Marco and Ikki's control. Phoenixes playing with things they didn't really understand. And the fire and rage when Ikki returned, how he punched Marco, because Marco was the only one who could never be hurt by Ikki's phoenix fire. Never be hurt by the phoenix rage.]

[For a bit, Marco's fears of being a weapon, of being Mars, Ares, the god of war, start to bubble to the surface, but he shuts it down, not letting her explore that. And shows her instead his own tears. The time Marco himself broke down crying and the only person in the universe, the multiverse, not GRELL, only LEANNE was able to reach him that time.]

Little sister, you must know he loves you far more than he can ever even hate himself. But it is that which drives him away. Not your fault, only his own, but listen. He does not want to say something, do something, BE something worse than even his absence. You lost much in the flames. Right now...

[Closes his eyes again, takes a deep breath and holds both her hands. TRUSTING HER, even though she can feel and SEE that MARCO KNOWS Ikki would be livid if he knew what Marco was showing her.]

[And yet he does.]

[He shows her the time Leanne was kidnapped by slavers, and just exactly how murderous and violent Ikki and Marco got. How their violent aggression, the desire to break bones of her captors and use the splinters to cause the slavers even more pain hurt Leanne, because she could feel their chaos and rage. She could see every inch of it. How she pleaded with them to stop, and neither of them knew how.]

You are the strongest woman I have ever met in my whole life, my Queen.

But that first part... remember and feel it. [Marco's ice and flame words to Selphie, he blocks out that it is Selphie, just carefully showing Leanne his temper when he explained to the other woman that her tears would drive more arrows through Ikki's heart than any physical damage the whole world could throw at him. And worse? Knowing that HE WAS THE CAUSE OF IT, of those tears would break him, so that all he knew to do was flee. To save them both. A phoenix's last curse: loneliness, the only way to protect others from themselves.]

[Marco's voice drops to a whisper for Leanne.]

Ikkun is not as old as I am, not as strong, not as surrounded by love and family. His family was ripped from him. He has nothing in his control here. And above else, he is scared he cannot protect you from himself.

Are you telling me now that he needs to?

That his running away is saving you from those flames? That you are scared of him and what he might do? Because if this absence hurts you and makes you feel inadequate, I know you are smart enough to know how much more he would think his rage would be something there is no coming back from. [It's again, a measure of Marco's assessment of Leanne's strength that he lets her SEE the image of Serene's Forest on fire. HER memory she once trusted to him. Her fear, he vowed ALONGSIDE IKKI to protect her from.]

If you need to go home, I will not stop you. But do not use his absence as an excuse. If you miss him, tell him. That you are not so frail as to prefer this. That you are a Queen, and he needs to start behaving like a King, not a coward. Like the man you married, not a shadow. And if he says things that hurt you, remember, that is why he's absent right now. Because he selfishly thinks it is safer. For you and then for him. If you run away, you are telling him he is right. Is that really what you want?

I've had Grell bite my tail feathers, hit me with a chainsaw, whips, and had sex with my best friend and closest brother. [Holds a hand up.] Aye, our relationship is nothing like yours. It is an analogy. Because the days she was kidnapped was still the worst month of my entire life since meeting her. Every day she was absent I felt robbed. I would have given both my wings to have her back and ripping me to shreds. Every day I am without Ace, Espio, Thatch, Namur, Ikki, you, Grell, all of you, I am poorer for it.

The first face I met after arriving in a new world after my father's funeral, was a version of Ace that was a marine. He hated me. He truly wished me dead. I could barely get him to talk to me. But I have never forgotten how glad I was that he was alive.

I know there is no pain I wouldn't endure rather than let Ikkun run away.

Understand, little sister, you cannot fight his fears alone. He will not let you. But you are not alone. You are not an idiot phoenix like us, and know how to protect those you love without giving up on them.

You are not the same Leanne I knew in that world. I will concede this. But I do not believe you could be a Queen and not still have that strength she too had and showed me those times when I was too lost for anyone else to find.

[She watches as Marco shows her all those memories. Those memories of rage and how he was terrible at hiding who the other was with in that world. It was almost cute how he think it would have bothered her.]

I have already seen the Phoenix's rage and even had it directed at myself once. I have also seen many things that those images does not bother me.

[But it did confirm one thing.... Marco loved the more younger and carefree version of her and will always see her like that. She was missing Ace, Zoro, Kale, Rose and Ice Bear... As well as Clu and Nita. They... They never bounded her to the image like the man before her.]

It is not because of him or his flames that I desire to return home. Especially when you are clueless as it seems like your Leanne never told you. I will respect her and not tell you either.

[She goes to sigh again and then orders a bottle to go.]

I live only for his happiness. To make his flames burn brightly. I cannot make him into who he is not. That is not what I want. I will never give up on those who I love, no matter how much pain it may cause me.

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