genessia | video / action

Entry tags:

video / action

[video]

Pardon my strange question... When do feelings of friendship become something... else? And what is the best remedy for stopping such feelings? Not to imply it is unpleasant, or I've no desire to love the person in question. Merely that this is going to be an inconvenience for them.

And are those with budding romantic feelings for another still permitted to invite the person of their affection on dates? Is that taboo? It feels so very wrong.

... Maybe I'll use the pocketwatch and forget all of this. This is criminal of me.

[action : various cities]

[Eliot has gone off on a self-help love quest, because all of this really bugs him. He's not sure how valid his emotions are, given that his personality is a temporary front for his "library self." He's been stopping in book stores and convenience stores, even stopping in grocery stores, to pick up those trashy teenage gossip magazines. Particularly anything that promises to explain the social etiquette of modern romance.

He's also been picking up trashy magazines of a less appropriate variety. You'll know he picked up and flipped to a scandalous article when you hear him scream in public and hastily close the magazine, glowing red from embarrassment.]

o-oh... oh my goodness...! Modern publishing is shameless...!

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

I really don't think it's a problem. I'm happier this way, right? The side of myself wouldn't set something like this up unless I was really desperate.

It's not like I'm totally oblivious either. I do still remember France?

Do you? Because it zeems to me you've been forgetting zhings.

[She's not letting up Eliot. Accept it. Rip's being...mother-ish.]

Und are you really happy being afraid of everyzhing to zhe point you retreat und dump it on zomeone else vhenever you can't deal? Did you ever stop to zhink zhat maybe your ozher half might get annoyed hafing to handle every little zhing you can't?

I mean... I'm not sure how to put this kindly, but honestly...? I don't care if he's annoyed or not. If I use the pocket watch, I can erase that side of myself for a while. I'm not really in a hurry to be him either. I need that side of me for work, but other than that, he's just a miserable person.

Isn't it better for everyone if we pretend that side of me doesn't exist? No one asks him to come out for tea: Just work.

Both of you are miserable because you are not a whole person.

[Just going to point that out there while she tries not to hunt him down and strangle him.]

You are zhe single most stubborn child I haf ever taken a liking to und zhat's saying something considering zhe ozher children I haf...

[She growled softly. Okay, she might not be ready to admit to anyone just yet that yes she has a motherly side, even if it does tend to peek out around Eliot.]

Und vat if I started asking to haf 'tea' vith him? Vould you allow it?

I-I'm perfectly fine and whole! I... [Hm. Trying to think of examples of how 'whole' he is mysteriously comes up empty. Eliot knows that even his likes and dislikes are constantly changing.]

I like Winry... That's... close to whole, right?

[That earns a frown.] You would be lying. No one actually wants to have tea with him. That's part of why he went away.

[See? He's proving her point.]

Falling in love vith a person isn't.. exactly how you become a whole person.

[Except, with Rip and Augustine...They do complete each other rather well, just like her and Namur do so maybe Rip's not exactly the right person to ask that question to...]

Vould I? I'm hardly your typical person now am I? I might enjoy his rude and gruff behavior.

[Eliot is silent on that front. Even if he's the one who made the suggestion, he knows Rip is correct. Especially since he's aware of how his feelings are borderline pointless. They aren't worth pursuing.]

... I don't think that I want you to, then.

[ugh, this is hard to admit. Especially to Rip.]

Even if I'm not whole, I'm still here. This version of me is still "me." And I'd like to be the side people prefer.

[Rip sighs and runs a hand through her bangs briefly.]

You know I'd razher see you as a whole person zhan separated like zhis.

[She grumbles under her breath and swears she's not parenting material despite feeling like that's exactly what she's doing right now.]

Und don't give up on liking zomeone. It may not make you a whole person like you vant, but... it iz still vorth pursuing. If it vasn't.. I vouldn't haf Augustine.

I don’t want to be whole.

[He insists this much more quietly this time.]

And I don’t need your advice. If all you’re going to do is lecture me and bully me, I’m leavinng.

I'm not trying to bully you.

[At least, not anymore anyway.]

Vant it or not, I'm giving it anyvay.

[She huffs softly and grumbles under her breath.]

Like I said, you are zhe single most stubborn child I've ever had zhe displeasure of caring for.

[She means that lovingly, honest. This is Rip's way of saying, she's your mother damn it. Now listen.]

[Lovijg family relationships are still hard for Eliot to grasp. He’s skeptical: Rip was really scary before, and he can’t understand the change.]

It’s been working for 300 years. And since I don’t remember life before Genessia, I don’t miss it. I don’t know if I’ve lost any friends here either, so that’s working too.

I don’t even know who I’d be if I combined both personalities. It wouldn’t be “me” anymore. I’d be some weird half grouchy mix who hates everything.

[The change happened because the kid grew on her and she regained memories of having adopted children before, not just killing them. Deal with it Eliot, your mother's complicated.]

It vould still be you, just.. more of you to contend vith und probably healthier. Besides, you only 'hate everyzhing' if you make yourself do zo. I doubt zhat vill happen und just because zhis has 'vorked' for 300 years, doesn't mean it's healthy.

Hell, zhe fact your memories before Genessia fading tells me zhat is iz not a good zhing.

[She draws a deep breath for a moment.]

So actually listen to me for once.

[Listen to your mother Eliot.]

You don't have any idea what you're talking about. Forgetting things is fine, and perfectly healthy. This is the only way that I can forget anything.

[He really is stubborn, as he huffs with annoyance and takes out his pocket watch. As... a threat? Who knows what's going through his mind.]

Dad-- Augustine understand why I'm like this.

No it's not, Eliot. Not major zhings like zhat. Forgetting should not be uzed as a means of escaping reality.

[And she's just as stubborn as she watches him take out that cursed pocket watch. Admittedly, with her temper rising with this conversation, she might be admitting to things she doesn't want to.]

Your fazher... Augustine coddles you. I'd like to say as your.. mozher, I haf more sense zhen zhe two of you put together despite how much I love Auggie and apparently care for you.

That's not true! I... [His voice trails off. She doesn't usually call herself his mother. He's not used to situations where he gets parented either. Eliot still remembers the Durants and France, even like this, which makes him hardly eager for a "vampire family."

He growls lightly with growing annoyance.]

I never asked for your help. You're always telling me I'm wrong and looking down on me. But I'm not. I know what I'm doing and it's not changing!

[Nowwww to quickly hang up, run home, and lock every door in the house.]

[And the moment he hangs up, Rip's swearing under her breath and miight just be heading to the apartment and letting herself in. He always seems to forget she has a key, doesn't he. ]

Eliot, get out here. Ve need to talk, face to face.

[SHE HAS A KEY!!!

Fortunately, Eliot was slightly prepared. He knew that she would probably find her way in eventually, somehow, so he had already come up with defensive measures: Pocket watch use.

He's settled in the living room with his Pokemon, a log for his business, and wine. Yes, wine. He's already miserable enough to have poured a glass for safety.]

Took you long enough. [Also, with terrible manners and posture. He's leaning over the arm of the sofa chair, with his feet up on the side table. His Crobat hangs upside-down from the ceiling, having mistaken his poor manners for a game.]

You still bitter?

[She made her way into the living room and had a feeling he already used the damned thing judging by the attitude and the wine. Personally, she kind of wished for a glass herself or for something stronger as she took a seat across from him.]

Annoyed, not bitter. Zhere's a difference.

Well, I'm sure you'll be glad to know that the feeling is mutual.

[He doesn't immediately turn around to face her. When he does, it's mostly so that he can set the business ledger on the coffee table between them.]

Why waste your time coming here? You're not going to change my mind.

Not az much as you think.

[She sighed softly and just observed him as he tried to busy himself with his ledger.]

Because I still haf to try. I don't agree vith vat you're doing to yourself. I zuppose it's... part of caring about you as strange az zhat sounds.

[She shifted uneasily in her seat.]

...I'm hardly mozher material. At least, zhat's vat I keep telling myself.

Well, you're in luck. I already had a mother. [He needs to keep distracted, so uses his psychic powers to move a book from a shelf. Unlike his other self, this version of Eliot has more skill with his abilities. He's had them before.]

She tied me down and brutally murdered me. But we've already talked about that mother. I'm in no hurry for a replacement.

[Eliot picks the book out of the air.] You don't agree, but I've never asked for your approval. "I" don't care about anything you or Augustine want for me. It's the other me who still thinks a family could be fun, or that relationships are ever worth it. I've become bored of those. So if you're here to take down my walls with familial bonding, don't waste your breath or my time.

[She's quiet hearing that as she watched him work. The stark differences between this Eliot and the other were more than obvious to her and it also pained her to hear he didn't want a mother.]

I haf no intention of physically harming you or your ozher half. I'm...not sure vat kind of mozher I am anymore, but, I vouldn't actually hurt you.

[Not anymore. Not after her trip through the dreamdocks.]

I don't view families az a vaste of time. Zhey are protection und support.. if you haf zhe right kind of family. Augustine und I zimply vant to look out for you, even if you don't vish it. Zhat's... vat parents are supposed to do. Zhey are supposed to care for and look out for zheir children.

[She sighed softly.]

...Look, I'm zorry for my... brutality und sledgehammer bluntness on my opinions. Vhere you haf zhe option of forgetting memories, I don't und I'm still dealing vith three vorlds und nearly a decade vorth of zhem I didn't haf vhen ve first met. Personally, I enjoy zhe little family unit ve haf, even if it iz a little dysfunctional.

Besides, I'm just as stubborn az you are. Telling me zhat attempting family bonding von't stop me from trying.

Well, we're in the same boat. I have another three centuries of memories now, than I did twenty minutes ago. It's a lot to process... But your mind does have the option of forgetting. As you age, your memories will grow hazy and distant. You can separate the person you were from who you are. I know you can. Everyone always talks about how you've changed.

[Eliot closes his eyes as the book drops into his lap, leaning back so that he's staring at the floor instead of the ceiling.]

But I can't. This memory of mine is permanent. I can remember every family I've "found," and all of the love I've experienced. In every moment, I remember the fresh pain of loss, of betrayal, of pain, right next to the love and trust, and happiness.

[He opens his eyes, but he's not looking at Rip. Maybe his eyes are, but his mind is struggling to find the 'now' and focus on it. It's also very difficult not to cry when all of those memories plague him, so he picks up that book and moves it into his face. He needs a distraction, before he snaps.]

I'm tired.

[Sadly, she knew he was right. She would eventually forget as she got older. Already her own memory of her times before she was in the military were hazy enough and part of her hated that. But.. Rip's only lived roughly a century compared to Eliot's three. How would she be once she reached his age?

Would she even get the opportunity to live that long? That was the other thing that plagued her at times.]

...I've found it useful to learn from memories like zhose. Zhe painful ones und zhe good ones.

[She sighed and pinched the bridge of her nose under her glasses. Already she could feel a headache coming on.]

I cannot begin to understand half of vat you experience vhenever you remember. Or vhy it iz easier for you to be separated like zhis. To me it does not make any sense.

I vill admit in two vorlds, I vas completely different from vat I am now, but, zhe experiences zhere are vat haf shaped me into.. zhis. Both zhe insanity of loosing everyzhing.. und zhe shattering of my entire vorld from making a stupid mistake.

[Rip closed her eyes as the pounding in her head started from remembering those times.]

...You're not zhe only one zhat's tired, Eliot. I miss my daughter, my lovers.. my pets from zhose times. But, I know I can never haf zhem back. In zhe end, I am alvays zhe one left alone.

But, I am attempting to change zhat. So.. vhy don't you attempt to change? I don't understand vhy you don't.

[She's trying. Eliot recognizes that enough to try looking at her again, even when he really doesn't like it. His head aches and he's absolutely miserable: It's difficult to figure out who he is when he's remembering so many moments like they were yesterday.

When she's finished, Eliot sits up again. But this time, he's preparing to read his book.]

Because I have learned. Plenty. [He flips through, looking for a particular page. Hardly looking at Rip anymore.] The other me is stupid, but he can be happy. He doesn't miss his lovers, or wonder which of the twenty-some we've had is his 'true love.' Actually, he seems pretty hung up on the idea that Winry is anything special.

She's just Ophelia, but not dead.

[Eliot reaches for his wine at the thought of Ophelia.] But it's nice to be in love for a while. It's fun to think you've found something special and lasting. You can build upon your fading memories, but I can't. I'm always going to remember that I'm married to seven women, and I've had children, and I've watched them die. But if I remembered every cycle every time, I wouldn't have had seven happy lifetimes. I would have been unhappy and grieving, and hateful.

[He looks up and whistles. Amelie, his Crobat, unfolds a wing and drops his pocket watch onto the table between them.]

Being stupid is fine. He'll learn over time. He'll live a happy family life with the two of you, and probably stumble, but he'll be happy. And the time you spend with him will mean something. I'll get to remember it fondly when he gets reset.

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