Himura Tomoe (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
willing_sheath) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
genessia2018-11-29 11:11 pm
willing_sheath) wrote in genessia2018-11-29 11:11 pm
Entry tags:
005//Anonymous Text
Not long ago someone posed a question about moving on after losing someone important to death.
But this place offers a different sort of dilemma.
I am the one who died. I arrived without memory of my death only for it to return to me weeks afterward. I had been comforted at first with assurances that time is halted in our worlds, that no time will be lost in the interim--but that is not the case for me. If I leave this place I leave to nothing. I have no hope of seeing my family again. I have no hope of knowing what became of them--and the events surrounding my death do not indicate anything good.
What am I supposed to do? When the husband I had arrives fifteen years after my death with too much blood and time separating us to rekindle what we once had... and when that same husband is then sent back without a trace. He will not remember me. He will only remember the ghost that has haunted him for all that time. I am dead to him all over again.
And what of me? Do I continue trying to live as a wife whose husband may or may not ever return here? Who may return again years past and distant? Who may return re-married with a new family? Do I consider myself a widow? Because for me it is as though they have all died. My husband, my father, my brother, everyone I ever knew or loved--all of them out of reach with no hope of seeing them again aside from the whims of whatever these "gods" seem fit to play.
What am I supposed to do with this unwanted "second chance" where I am trapped in my own head to the point that I feel as though I've been consigned to my own personal hell?
What am I supposed to do? What is the right thing to do?
But this place offers a different sort of dilemma.
I am the one who died. I arrived without memory of my death only for it to return to me weeks afterward. I had been comforted at first with assurances that time is halted in our worlds, that no time will be lost in the interim--but that is not the case for me. If I leave this place I leave to nothing. I have no hope of seeing my family again. I have no hope of knowing what became of them--and the events surrounding my death do not indicate anything good.
What am I supposed to do? When the husband I had arrives fifteen years after my death with too much blood and time separating us to rekindle what we once had... and when that same husband is then sent back without a trace. He will not remember me. He will only remember the ghost that has haunted him for all that time. I am dead to him all over again.
And what of me? Do I continue trying to live as a wife whose husband may or may not ever return here? Who may return again years past and distant? Who may return re-married with a new family? Do I consider myself a widow? Because for me it is as though they have all died. My husband, my father, my brother, everyone I ever knew or loved--all of them out of reach with no hope of seeing them again aside from the whims of whatever these "gods" seem fit to play.
What am I supposed to do with this unwanted "second chance" where I am trapped in my own head to the point that I feel as though I've been consigned to my own personal hell?
What am I supposed to do? What is the right thing to do?
ANON TEXT (forever even if I forget to mark it)
[She wasn't physically ill, this made no sense.]
[And the bitterness she's feeling keeps her from even replying to the rest.]
Re: ANON TEXT (forever even if I forget to mark it)
The ones here should be trained to deal with the unique issues being here causes.
ANON TEXT
[But then again, didn't she feel like she was losing her mind...?]
How does one treat "mental and emotional" ailments?
[Aside from locking them away from society.]
Re: ANON TEXT
Figuring out coping mechanisms.
Medication if there's a chemical imbalance.
ANON TEXT
[Her incredulity probably does not come through in text but incredulous she is. It seems shameful to speak of these things to anyone, let alone a stranger... let alone a stranger she is paying...]
Re: ANON TEXT
Nothing is guaranteed, but it's usually better than nothing.
Especially with someone aware that death is not a permanent state here.
[ The cultural stigma does make things more difficult.]
no subject
[But... just maybe... that little nugget of an idea sticks in her mind... and may come up at a later time.]
[Maybe.]
[
she is nothing if she is not stubborn]