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Entry tags:
[2nd Soul] // [Reach out and touch faith] [Closed]
WHO: Death the Kid and Maka Albarn
WHAT: Talking about ~feelings~
WHEN: 8/16 (backdated like whoa)
WHERE: In their apartment
WARNINGS: May contain lethal amounts of Seriousness and Stupidity
[One would think that things would get better after the arrival of Maka's Weapon partner and BFF Soul. Well...that was before Maka spent nearly two hours in the bathroom listening to Kid's wailing about how she's forgotten to groom herself. Soul did his part to keep Kid from barging in and doing the washing of her himself...thank goodness for him. Hopefully this is not something that gets back to her dad.
Speaking of her dad, Maka remembers that she said she would talk to Kid for him. Why she's intent on doing her dad any favors, she doesn't entirely know, but Kid has a lot of responsibility on him now and as his friend and the leader of the team, there has to be open and honest communication with him. And the general message of "hey, I'm here for you."
So after drying her hair (holding off on putting it into her usual pigtails for now) and changing into a new set of clothes, Maka heads out to find Kid--maybe he'll stop being mad at her now that she's fixed up.]
WHAT: Talking about ~feelings~
WHEN: 8/16 (backdated like whoa)
WHERE: In their apartment
WARNINGS: May contain lethal amounts of Seriousness and Stupidity
[One would think that things would get better after the arrival of Maka's Weapon partner and BFF Soul. Well...that was before Maka spent nearly two hours in the bathroom listening to Kid's wailing about how she's forgotten to groom herself. Soul did his part to keep Kid from barging in and doing the washing of her himself...thank goodness for him. Hopefully this is not something that gets back to her dad.
Speaking of her dad, Maka remembers that she said she would talk to Kid for him. Why she's intent on doing her dad any favors, she doesn't entirely know, but Kid has a lot of responsibility on him now and as his friend and the leader of the team, there has to be open and honest communication with him. And the general message of "hey, I'm here for you."
So after drying her hair (holding off on putting it into her usual pigtails for now) and changing into a new set of clothes, Maka heads out to find Kid--maybe he'll stop being mad at her now that she's fixed up.]
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Have faith in Maka. That's what that conversation boiled down to, even if it was about more than the glaringly obvious nonsense about appearances and such seemingly shallow preoccupations with cleanliness.
None of them had the luxury of a familiar home and circumstances, so they scraped together some semblance of normalcy. In Kid's case, he backslid easily into old neurosis and obsessions, because it was comfortable and offered the familiarity their situation lacked.
Even the facsimile of Death City was empty and failed to fill that void, such that Kid had yet to tell the others about its existence. Let them find it on their own.
Since his arrival, Kid has had to compromise. He found it inexplicably tiring to exist in his newly ascended state, and for the sake of efficiency had the three Lines of Sanzu remain disconnected until he needed to access his full power. Although this resulted in that abhorrently asymmetrical appearance, it saved his energy for those times when he thought he might need it most.
Nevertheless, his senses are still sharp as ever, and he detects Maka's presence even before his nostrils find the scent of soap. He turns, and to his immense (and visible) relief, he finds her in a state far better than when last he saw her.]
There you are.
[With such relief, he gestures at the chair nearby.]
Please, sit. I just so happen to have a comb on me.
[Because of course he's going to insist on putting her pigtails in.]
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[She should have expected that. So, with a permissive nod, Maka sits--straight-backed as always and staring intently at her friend.]
We need to talk.
[Wow, Maka, you could have...taken a little more time. Unfortunately, that's not in Maka's nature, she gets right to the point.]
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Of course. My work can continue through conversation.
[He also has a pair of hair elastics. Why he has them will go without saying, but perhaps it's an indication of how near a miss Maka had to having her bath interrupted. He had gotten that far...]
Something's troubling you, that much is clear.
[He can perceive souls too, of course. The young reaper tips up her chin a fraction by way of placing the comb beneath it and giving it a nudge. Kid resumes his work, starting with combing out a proper part.]
Why don't we start there?
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Yet, Maka isn't sure if she's ready to talk about the fight with Gamagori yet, using her father, talking with Satsuki...she's so worried about what trouble her father's going to get into, but at the same time using him wasn't good for her. The girl is completely uncomfortable with the idea of opening up so selfishly to her friend, especially when he is in more turmoil than her.]
...What do you want for dinner tonight?
[So she throws in something totally off-topic first.]
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[He holds up the comb with ramrod precision, measuring the part in her hair against its irrefutable edge, one golden eye scrutinizing his handiwork before he goes further.]
--shall we dispense with the unnecessary formalities?
[A moment later and he relents.]
I shan't complain, so long as supper did not, at some point, have a soul.
[Kid begins to comb out one side, intending on gathering that hair into a slender pigtail.]
'He couldn't have come at a better time.' And yet, perhaps it would have been better that he didn't end up in the same trap. ...Am I getting warm?
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[He's really going to force her to say it, isn't he?]
No, I'm happier that Soul's here.
[She feels her soul physically squirm and it's unpleasant. Maka remembers how Spirit corrected her soul's wavelength so she wouldn't get lost in the heat of battle...she knows why he did it, it's instinct, but it felt too much like he was smothering her.]
I met with a man named Ira Gamagori. Papa was talking to him about Weapons and Meisters and he wanted a demonstration. Just a demonstration turned into him taking us out to a remote field and saying "come at me with all your power."
[A pause, how else can she put it? Maka really had no desire to just engage in a senseless fight, especially not against a human that never did her any harm and bore no ill will.]
I couldn't...I couldn't use Demon Hunter. I could barely do anything using Papa. I felt like it was the first day of school again when I wasn't resonating with Soul properly. It's not Papa's fault...not really, I just couldn't bring out his full power. I didn't know how. He kept trying to protect me and keep me from getting too into the fight, but...
[That's not how she does things. It never has been, it never will be. Maka's duty bound to fight to the death, Spirit should know that, so is he.]
...We weren't fighting to win or anything, but it felt like I lost. The man said that I was comparable to a "two star Goku uniform" whatever that means...but ha, two star, isn't that pathetic?
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Through her explanation, Kid's comb makes parallel furrows, draws straight lines into her damp hair, binds them neatly into the elastic confines of the band he had taken from her dresser hours before.]
Are you disheartened by being judged by the standards of another world? By a demonstration where you were not, as you put it, at your best?
[Kid shuffles over to her other side, presumably to begin work on the rest of her hair.]
Ever the perfectionist. Had he told you four stars were the highest, you would have damned yourself at three.
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Stare judgmentally.
Kid, way to be a hypocrite.]
You tried to bust into the bathroom and help me wash because you thought I couldn't do it right anymore.
[Both a fact and a convenient way to take focus off of herself.]
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Kid has the nerve to look affronted.]
Will you fault your friends for looking after you?
[A haughty sniff is totally called for.]
Soul gave me compelling assurances that you would be able to take care of it!
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[She knows there's no remote chance in hell Kid would ever gain anything that humans do from nudity, let alone if it's her, but...ugh. She still doesn't want anybody near her when she explicitly wants privacy, especially not without any damned clothes!]
And he's right, I can. I was just thinking about what happened and got...caught up in it.
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Face the facts, Maka. It's not YOU so much as the god of your world being as asexual as the day is long.]
Hmph.
[This calls for an elaboration.]
You simply had an off day. Furthermore, the weapon used... I would rather have seen you and Soul engage in that demonstration.
My father's Death Scythe is an effective weapon, but cannot entirely make up for the bond you share with yours.
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Yeah...I told them [wait a second--them?] that Papa wasn't my proper Weapon.
They seemed to say that this place requires a lot of protection...I've heard mention of some place called "Everglade" twice now, supposedly monsters live there.
[All right, Maka, now is as good a time as any to bring it up...]
Papa's worried about you. He's having a hard time adjusting to this, and...I realized I haven't been thinking about what you're going through myself. I'm here for you if you ever wanna talk, you know? Or just need somebody to spend time with. I know I'm not that exciting to be around, but at least Soul's here to balance it out.
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Then there was another? Gamagoori was not alone?
[Kid is precise, but not so precise as to have no initial stumbling at the name. No, he must have encountered it before.]
I've heard as much of Everglade, but--
[But that has nothing to do with...
This.
But this has already shifted topics, and Kid is unwilling to play fetch.]
...Are you so worried about our circumstances?
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[She can take care of herself, Spirit's a grown man even if he doesn't act like it, but Kid's always distanced himself from everyone. Even if he wasn't aware of the cost for him to ascend, some part of him must have always been aware that he has higher duties than simple social bonds.]
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That vexes. It does.
Kid finishes tying off her last pigtail.]
Our situation is less than ideal. Were it within my power to bring us back to where we belong, I would have.
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[Oh, he's finished? Good, Maka rolls her shoulders and neck a bit to work out any stiffness, then continues.]
You're not alone, and I don't want you to feel like you are.
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As have you. I have an advantage, being a reaper. There are matters that must be attended back home, and furthermore, the longer we tarry here...
[Not that the length of their stay here will matter one whit back home, seeing as that whole 'time's stopped there' business might just be a real thing.
You're not alone. That gives him pause, and at this point he relents with a sigh.]
...Have I isolated myself?
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[But he's her friend. Part of why she has difficulty with acknowledging him as the new Lord Death...it makes her feel like she has to hold Kid at an even further distance and she doesn't want that.]
You're much more than the god of our world, you're just as human as the rest of us in your nature. Your father wanted you to be close to humans, and you are. You're our friend and I don't want you to leave us all behind or feel like you have no other option.
(NOW WITH LESS BEING AWAY AT BURNING MAN)
And considers, in all his silence, how there might be something to what Maka's said, because he still hasn't answered her, and everything about this smacks of slammed doors and shut blinds. While there's an unmistakable appeal about the uninterrupted blank facade of a wall unmarred by vulnerabilities, they don't make good neighbors.
And they're friends.
He's remained among their more mortal peers at the academy long enough to know friends do not shut each other out.]
Just as human.
[The blunt end of his thumbnail has been pressed against his teeth as if that might silence further verbal introspection, the gold concentric rings of the reaper's eyes no longer aimed at the Meister.
Has he been going about this all wrong?
Eventually, he lowers his hands, seeking out shelter in his pants pockets.]
You are not incorrect, but... how shall I put this?
[It's close to, but not precisely honesty. The reaper tries again:]
I'm--
[Okay, no. Try that again but later, Kid.]
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She doesn't know, whatever it is he's trying to say, he's not ready yet, and since he's done with the grooming Maka will stand and stretch for a moment.]
At any rate, I'm here for you. [And she puts her hands on his shoulders with a strong thump because that's not going to shock him at all.] I know I can be pushy, but we're all supposed to be open and honest with each other. You may be the god of our world, but I'm still the leader of our group and I won't have secrets in this team.
[A pause, she smiles in the kind and honest way that seems uniform with Albarns.]
And like I said, I know I'm not that exciting to be around, but Soul's here too, so you have him.
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He is so engrossed in those thoughts that the young god gives a literal start as her hands alight on his shoulders. This results in more than simply startled blinking; it loosens his tongue, somewhat.]
That's not fair.
[For one, how does she do that?
Bolster another with an earnest smile and cut herself down in the same breath, like there's something less about her in comparison with the other half of that team of two, like the Weapon is somehow of greater worth than the Meister who wields him.
This affront doesn't even belong to him, but Kid cleaves to this new distraction because it's easier than being cross with himself.]
Each of you are of precisely equal value, because where one of you has insufficiencies or vulnerabilities the other compensates... and vice-versa. I'll not tolerate self-depreciation, Miss Leader.
[Except when he's doing it to himself.]
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She honestly looks perplexed. Sure, she had issues with her self-esteem in the past and still struggles with it, but any comments she makes about herself are more blunt honesty than anything. Maka liked books and puzzles and word games, that's only exciting to her. It's only her that feels the joy and excitement of discovering a new book or facing against a difficult puzzle. Even Ox, the "other" bookworm engaged in typical meathead boy activities like...what? Getting naked? Yeah, that seems like a boy thing.
Come to think of it, she doesn't actually know a lot about what Kid does in his spare time. He was adept it playing basketball along with everyone else
it's still not fair that they just threw her into it without telling her the rules!!but that can't be all he does, can it?]It's not self-deprecation when it's true.
[What time is it? It's Hypocrisy Hour with Maka!!]
I'm getting a job as a librarian down the way, Soul would probably stay here to mind the house and keep you company, of course I'm not going to be up to anything that would be exciting to you guys any time soon.
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Rather, it's likely it's their imperfections and what they accomplish in spite of them that made these children so well-suited to the task of protecting their equally damaged world and all of its crazy problems.
After all, courage doesn't exist in the absence of fear, nor order in the absence of chaos. Intimate knowledge of what plagues the world around you is but one step towards rising above it.]
...
[Kid's frown suggests he disagrees with Maka's assessment, but before he can give voice to his objections a second time, she's pushed on to a subject of interest.]
Librarian..?
[There's a flicker of genuine interest in his eyes, a minute ember that had grown cold in the face of his persistent pessimism.]
Of course there'd be a library. [And of course Maka would wish to work there. Kid pauses speculatively. Where best to learn about this city, its origins, and perhaps even a way to escape their present predicament?
...Is he even up to the task? After all, it certainly wouldn't have come to this in the first place had his father still worn the mantle of Lord Death. Just as swiftly as it was rekindled, the reaper sinks again into bleak stoicism.]
No doubt you'll be nose-deep in the same books you're expected to warden.
[That isn't criticism.]
If you happen upon anything relevant to our pressing need of escape, I know I can count on you to keep us informed.
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[Of course, she was just seeing things, Kid only feigned interest to note that she can probably find their way out. Of course, she takes his blase statement as him making fun of her. Everyone else makes fun of her for liking books, why would Kid be different?
Maka would point out that if that was so, somebody would have mentioned it by now, it'd be too easy for a dungeon escape. That's not a fun game at all.
(Then again she's the only one that plays and enjoys RPGs in their group, as far as she knows.)
But he's taking it as reason to withdraw, to divert attention away from his emotional state. She has the feeling that he's not going to take her up on the fact that she (and everyone else) is there for him unless he's whacked in the face with it.
She can't whack him in the face, though. She can't hug him, either. That's not proper, she rarely does that to anyone, let alone Kid. It's just not proper.]
Yeah...sure.
[Somehow, even if she came to lessen the distance between them, it still feels the same as before. How does he do that? Is it her fault? Her hands gradually slip off of his shoulders, her own slump slightly in a posture of what could be defeat. This was a waste of his time, Maka, you just bothered your friend for no reason.]
I'd like if you came to visit me some time, too. If hanging out in a library isn't too boring, I mean.
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Kid takes her comment of acquiescence to mean he's been let off the hook. He's not incorrect in that assessment, either, at least for the time being.
That's what he wanted, right?
Then why is it he feels so keenly the absence of the weight of a friend's hands on his shoulders, why regret a half foot of distance when he need but his own eyes to assure himself that he is not the only living soul in this room?
He's being stupid, petty, single-minded about all the wrong things and that's simply unbecoming of a reaper, let alone the heir to his exalted father's position and responsibilities. If he doesn't clean up his act, what further dishonor would he heap upon the reputation of Lord Death?]
On the contrary, there's much I'd like to learn about this place, and two can cover greater ground than one.
[Reaching back, now, Kid? Don't be pathetic!]
It's practical, not pathetic.
[Psst, that part was out loud.]
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[Unless he's calling her pathetic for liking to read?? No...Kid was blunt, but he wasn't cruel. Even Soul at his meanest wouldn't say something like pathetic.
It doesn't help the discomfort.]
Uh...[what can she really say after that? What if he really was implying being in a library is pathetic?] W-well...I guess I'll stop bugging you, then. See you at dinner.
[Stammering, Maka, really? Like that would help you looking weak, looking pathetic even. She swallows against the lump in her throat in vain, feeling herself being choked as she backs away and swiftly turns to scurry off to...somewhere. Anywhere besides there. This really was a waste of his time, what is wrong with her? She completely failed at showing he can rely on her, even worse since it's now after losing his father. Such a screw-up.]
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[This was several awkward seconds after Maka had shuffled off, a sound he managed to dislodge from his throat too late for it to be heard.
He's not really sure how he botched that attempt at conversation so entirely, except he is 100% certain it was him that botched it.]
...
[WHEN DID SPEAKING WITH HIS FRIENDS BECOME HARDMODE.]