genessia | LIVE TV / ACTION

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LIVE TV / ACTION

[ Everyone's TVs will flicker on and to the Genessia News Channel for a Live Special Report. The Show Host pops out from beneath the podium, a cool tenor voice coming straight from him as he addresses the camera. ]

Hello hello hello hello there, everyone! It's that time of year again, and I don't mean strutting your stuff on the beach in bikinis and banana hammocks! It's the City Guardian Election Debate, coming at you LIVE from the Genessia Center Arts Theatre in Genessia City. This election debate is brought to you by: Effing Big Fat Bubbles! Dip the lasso on a stick into the bucket of glittery soap solution, and voila! Bubbles so big your eyes will pop out! Even your favorite show host got one of these babies, check it out!

[ Here's a photo of Show Host flourishing the bubble wand that's bigger than he is, next to his unimpressed pet llama wearing a blanket with 'Effing Big Fat Bubbles!' printed in the corner. And back to reality. ]

Let's get started! First, congratulations to our continuing Genessia City Guardian, Satou Kuroneko, who ran uncontested this season. This hard-working pink-loving sleep-deprived little lady has all our hearts and everyone knows it! Second of all, a big warm welcome to the new and uncontested Guardians! Taking the reins in Attleton is the lovely and talented Miss Rapunzel! And who do we have taking Nova City by storm? Why it's none other than the unfortunately named General Grievous, stepping up from deputy to sheriff! There are still two cities ready to catch fire if we don't find them with a guardian soon! Let's begin the live debate-slash-Q&A you've all been waiting for. Here's how it works: You all come up with questions to ask each of the Guardians, and each Guardian will have the opportunity to answer it to help you decide which of your candidates is the right one for your city. You can submit your questions via text to the CPU and it will beam them to our stage, or if you're here in the audience, head on up to the podium and ask in person! Now to introduce our candidates.

[ Taking advantage of the theater as the location, the lights dim. Fog machines fill the stage and lightning flashes through it as the roar of thunder introduces Everglade's guardian candidates! ]

Everglade's incumbent guardian Remilia Scarlet takes the stage to duke it out with rock-hating pyromanic wild child Phibrizzo both ready to take on previous Guardian with the infamous contentious laws of the past, Ted Satchel!

[ Some quick fans run across the stage to get rid of the fog as the lightning effects explode into sparkles. Someone in the lighting room is clearly having some fun here with this. Then a real lion walks across the stage to lead in the Fayren candidates!? He roars at center stage before being lead off. ]

Beautiful and mysterious Fayren's first candidate is returning candidate Azura! But she'll have to stand her ground against severely malnourished Papyrus who's kissed more babies than any candidate in the history of the electoral debates!

[ Here comes that glitter balloon, just like last year, even though there aren't any debating candidates for Genessia City. A couple of stage members raise plastic ponchos over their heads, they knew this was coming. And it does. GLITTER! GLITTER EVERYWHERE! IT'LL NEVER WASH OFF NEVER EVER! ]

Now that all of our candidates are sparkling with eagerness [ or glitter ] to debate, take a seat, and let's get started folks! Get into the town hall for this live debate, starting in 30 minutes! You've still got time to pop in, let's go, and don't forget to cast your votes this June 16th at the polls!

[ Just as the candidates start to get comfortable, an assistant walks out with several aprons and a box of hairnets (Papyrus doesn't get one of those), passing one out to each person as a large horseshoe-shaped cooking area rises up out of the stage floor. What's this? ]

What's this???

[ Show host gestures grandly, pretending to be surprised. ]

Well bless my fuzzy soul, it looks like the candidates have a special treat for everyone. Not only will they be answering your questions, they'll be doing so while baking! A! CAKE! Candidates! Step up to your cooking stations, and choose a cake recipe! Let's bake up some questions, folks!

{ OOC NOTE: Anyone can reply to this post with a question they want to ask the potential City Guardians. Each City Guardian candidate is tasked with answering any question on this post. No candidate is required to, but lack of participation may affect public opinion of the candidate! Lack of any activity during the election season will disqualify your candidate, however.

On June 16th, the polls will officially go up and each player will receive one vote per city. More instructions will go up at that time. For now though, the debate is here! }

Threaded | Top-Level Comments Only

[Now the baking question makes sense? Grievous is glad to not be on stage for the debates. He knows nothing about cakes and it would likely be a disaster. But he is here observing and although he was lucky enough to be uncontested for the position in Nova City this time, he felt he should be available for the public and keep an eye on the debates. So he does step up to ask a question of the candidates.]

Good luck to those running for Everglade and for Fayren. I have been in your position before so I can understand some of what you may be experiencing.

As the newly appointed official Guardian of Nova City, I would hope to work closely with the other Guardians in order to support and negotiate and come to an understanding between each city, despite any differences there may be. So my questions to you all are:

What will you do to promote co-operation between yourself and the other Guardians?

Do you believe in coming to the aid of other cities, when needed?

And what sets yourself apart from the other candidates so that the people would feel safest under your Guardianship?

CORRECTION! THE GREAT PAPYRUS DID NOT IN FACT KISS ANY BABIES! BECAUSE I DON'T HAVE LIPS!! BUT IT'S THE THOUGHT THAT COUNTS. AND I THOUGHT ABOUT IT A LOT!!! AND I'M NOT MALNOURISHED!! CHECK IT OUTIE!

[He flexes his biceps, winking confidently. That settles that!]

NYEH HEH HEH! A COOKING CHALLENGE FOR THE GREAT PAPYRUS!! HOW PERFECT!!

[And then he's passed over for the hair accessory.]

HEY...WHERE'S MY HAIR NET?

[Is today just "Make fun of Papyrus for stuff he doesn't have, but really wishes he did...day"? Rood!]

WELL, NO MATTER! THE GREAT PAPYRUS DOESN'T NEED COOL HEADWEAR TO BE A GREAT BAKER!! EVEN IF HE'D REALLY LIKE SOME!!

[Excitedly, with enthusiasm disproportionate to his skill, he sets out to bake the worst cake in the world.]

Edited 2019-06-11 01:58 (UTC)

WHAT GREAT QUESTIONS! HERE'S MY GREAT ANSWERS.

I LOVE HANGING OUT! SO I WILL AGITATE FOR MORE OF THAT AT EVERY OPPORTUNITY. ROWAN HAS GRACIOUSLY PROVIDED ME A ROOM FOR GUESTS, AND THERE'S ALWAYS FREE SEATS AT THE CHEF DE PAPYRUS!! I ALSO HAVE A VERY COOL PLAN THAT WILL BRING US TOGETHER LIKE NEVER BEFORE, BUT I CAN ONLY FINALIZE IT AFTER ALL'S SAID AND DONE! I CAN'T SPOIL IT TOO MUCH HERE, BUT REST ASSURED, IT IS VERY COOL.

OF COURSE I BELIEVE THAT! MY PUZZLES WILL PROBABLY KEEP FAYREN SO SAFE, THAT IT WON'T BE NECESSARY TO DO ANYTHING AT ALL! WITH THAT MUCH TIME ON MY HANDS, IT'S ONLY NATURAL I PUZZLE IT UP IN THE OTHER CITIES TOO!

HMMM...BIGGEST DIFFERENCE...

[He studies Azura]

PROBABLY HER LONG LOCKS! I WISH I WAS THAT BLUE AND HAIRY!!

[He's still a little put out by those hair nets.]

BUT NEXT IS THE ISSUES! BOY DO I HAVE A LOT OF ISSUES! LIKE THE WEIRD ASYMMETRICAL PATRON-KNIGHT STUFF, OR THE MISSING SOULS! AZURA, CONTRARIWISE, FOCUSES ON...

[He pauses, then puts a glove in his mouth, thinking hard.]

I HAVE NO IDEA!! IT'S PROBABLY TOP SECRET GUARDIAN STUFF. PERHAPS TOO COOL TO MENTION!!

As we all know, each of the phones we're given has an emergency contact feature that will alert all Guardians the moment it's pressed, granting the distressed's location and prompting immediate response.

How often was this feature used? Of those times, how many did the Guardian's successfully address?

Edited 2019-06-09 14:24 (UTC)

Thank you for your sentiments, Grievous.

Oh, try and keep their consciences elevated. Though, do the Guardians want for cooperation? From the outside they all seemed, to my trusting eyes, in lockstep with each other. If there were any internal strife or fret, I'm not privy.

Now, it may be that they cooperate, but with aim for mutual wickedness and depravity. In which case I might, for example, smash their heads, or raze their buildings to the ground and salt the earth. I confess this will not seem especially cooperative, but I hope they will see my corrections for the loving chastisements they are.

Sure, if they've need. I'm primarily a bounty hunter by trade, and am used to work in every corner of the earth, especially ones the Guardians can't handle. It's familiar ground.

Haha, well I seem to be the only one not enthralled to delusion, or in possession of a clue. But perhaps the others shall surprise me. I'm afraid feeling safe will be what I strive mightily to avoid. Paradoxically, in Everglade, feeling safe would make things very unsafe indeed.

Thus, I will produce the effect of an unhinged psychopath: capricious, vengeful, easily given to violence and disturbing bouts of mania. The important part is not whether any of those things correspond to reality--fear, after all, is largely based in perception--but how well I play the part.

[He grew a knowing smile]

Some here, I hope, will vouch for how well I play it.

[Pardon Phibrizzo's interruption. He can't resist an opportunity to throw a little shade on a competitor early on.]

You're going to smash the heads of other Guardians or raze their buildings to the ground if they don't do what you think they should do?

Edited 2019-06-09 16:28 (UTC)

[No pardon necessary. He did say he wanted to make things fun.]

Goodness, how black you've painted me. What awful and conspicuous denial of context!

You left out the salt. I, please God, would not. I'm not so churlish as to leave the ground unconsecrated.

But you think it's okay for you to smash other Guardians' heads and raze their buildings to the ground as long as you remembered to salt the ground?

[He's honestly amused.]

Depends on what's in their heads and what's in their buildings. Good things all, I hope.

How do you judge what's good?

Hmm....to promote co-operation, I think it would be good if we took turns visiting each others' cities, and when visiting, we'd give a proper tour instead of just having a meeting. It's easier to help if we all know each other's neighbourhoods, right?

I don't mind helping other cities if I'm needed, and as long as it wouldn't cause a lot of problems for Everglade's citizens if I left. I could always send a deputy to help if it would be a bad idea for me to leave.

My magic barriers can keep people safe. Nothing in Everglade has ever gotten past them. I'm against Hunters being able to hunt supernatural species in Everglade. If someone's doing something illegal, they can answer to the law instead of some random vigilante.

[ Remilia looked surprised for a second. She could use Sakuya's help with the baking part... ]

Perhaps establishing some regular meetings, to discuss mobilization for a threat that could put all the cities in danger... To lend aid if needed would be a part of that.

I would start by promoting cooperation between not just us undead, but all others, monsters and humans. Regulation of the bounty system here in Everglade has always been a part of that.

[Little tufts of flour spill out from a measuring cup as slight tremors of laughter disrupt him.]

Ahaha, good Lord I pray that's rhetorical. To answer: one's synderesis.

It's not rhetorical. If you're going to attack Guardians and cause property damage to their cities just 'cause you think they're not good, you should tell everyone exactly what you think is good. I don't know what synderesis is.

[Phibrizzo has no idea how to make a cake. Pardon him while he looks up recipes on his phone.]

I have not personally seen that feature implemented, unless perhaps the Guardians alone dealt with the situation and did not inform myself, as a Deputy.

Ahehe, what I think good? I'm afraid I've no novelties for you. There's nothing new under the sun when it comes to ethics. All I ask is that they neither conspire nor commit atrocity, a standard most find as intuitive as it is easy to meet. It hardly requires an exhaustive list of morals.

[As he pours out the milk and begins to whisk, he sighs with exasperated cheer.]

I'm not asking for sainthood. All I'd like is for the Guardians, as artificial and frivolous a position as it is, to not become utter parodies of themselves. Now, I've reason to believe they've been up to some truly horrid things, and if so, the question is how will they react once it comes to light? Will they insist upon the sin, or let it end?

[Looks like the batter's just about finished. Into the pan it goes.]

All depends on that. Believe me, if it gets to that nadir, there won't be any question of morality then.

Edited 2019-06-10 05:40 (UTC)

[Gale approaches, and not being one that particularly cared for authority figures he has every intention of derailing things.]

I'm sure as every one of these "debates" roll around, it's naught but the same questions over again. Your experience, your policies, where to place the citizenry's trust, but that is not what I intend to touch on.

[He points to the stage, overdramatically.]

Pray, tell us about the cakes you intend on making! Your process, your ingredients, whence did your recipe come from? Tell it all, spare no detail!

[An audience member in the flesh? That's novel.]

Page 77--that perfect number--held the recipe I'm...

[He did a double take.]

What...on earth....are you wearing?

Some folk think puttin' a buncha restrictions an' rules on bounty hunters sounds like a great way t' give the shitty criminals a leg up. Part a what makes havin' the potential for bounties work is the fear a gettin' one put on y', an' the type a blokes what might start comin' after y'. But if a bounty hunter ain't 'lowed t' give good as they get, it takes 'way some a that edge an' puts the good folk at a disadvantage. So what's y'all's stance on bounty huntin' licenses?

Naturally law-enforcers are held to a higher standard than lawbreakers. The latter shall always have that advantage. As to licenses, I have one in Nova City, and can't say it's ever been especially helpful. But perhaps its goodness isn't on the side of hunters.

[If Grievous is here]

How about it, Grievous? What are its benefits? If any know, it's yourself.

[Once he's done wincing at the language...]

IN MY OPINION, LICENSES ARE EXTREMELY COOL! I'M IN THE MIDDLE OF GETTING ONE TO DRIVE AND WOWIE, IS THAT EDUCATIONAL! I FEEL SO INFORMED!

ALSO! IMAGINE IF YOU WERE A BOUNTY HUNTER. PRETTY COOL, RIGHT? BUT! SOMEONE MIGHT NOT KNOW. THEY MIGHT ASK, "HELLO, STRANGER. WHAT IS IT YOU DO?"

WHY, THEN YOU REACH INTO YOUR POCKET AND SHOW THEM THIS!!

[He pantomimes the act with snappy, thunderbolt panache.]

(PLEASE IMAGINE A BOUNTY HUNTER LICENSE WITH MY FACE)

THEY'LL BE SO IMPRESSED!! YOUR GREAT JOB WILL LOOK THAT MUCH GREATER, PROCLAIMED ON PLASTIC!!!

[Grievous is in the audience, watching. The debate was for the candidates, but of course he will answer when addressed or if somebody asks something of all Guardians - uncontested or not.]

Bounty Hunters can be a very low and dangerous criminal element themselves. We cannot have excessive violence happening without some leash on them. And so licences are a way of keeping them in line with the city's laws.

However, excessive violence may be necessary in some circumstances so it will be taken case by case. Justice can come in many forms.

This is a matter that should also be discussed with the proper authorities. Petty crimes are not something Guardians are usually tasked to deal with.

Ahh, purely a check against the hunters, then. Particularly the ones too near to their marks. Thank you for your input, Grievous.

For the moment I'll have to come in on the side of no licenses at present. It suits the atmosphere better, and there are laws in place to prosecute the overzealous anyway. Lord knows Everglade ignores laws it doesn't like regardless.

GLAD YOU ASKED!! I WILL ANSWER IN REAL TIME!

[He wraps his "Kiss the cook" apron behind him, dons a very poofy hat, then approaches the oven.]

THE FIRST STEP IS PREHEATING! LOOK AT ALL THESE NUMBERS. THE HIGHER THE BETTER! LET'S TURN THE DIAL ALL THE WAY TO "CLEAN". NOBODY WANTS A DIRTY CAKE!!

[That'll be a good 880 degrees, which should give the end result a nice, ashy quality.]

NOW COMES THE MOST IMPORTANT PART! WHAT KIND OF CAKE TO MAKE!? THERE'S ONLY ONE CHOICE. IT MUST BE SOMETHING EVERYONE WILL LOVE, LIKE ME!! SPAGHETTI CAKE IT IS!! BUT...HMM...I DON'T SEE IT IN THIS RECIPE BOOK.

[It's tossed over his shoulder, followed by the sound of breaking glass and disturbed wildlife.]

THAT'S OKAY!! THE MOST IMPORTANT RECIPE IS THE ONE THAT'S IN YOUR RIGHTEOUS HEART!!! WE'LL MAKE THREE LAYERS: THE NOODLES, THE SAUCE, AND THE MEATBALLS!!

[Three pans later, Papyrus' is digging through the cupboards. Disturbingly, he finds what he's looking for.]

AHA! PASTA AT LAST!! "ANGEL HAIR". THAT REMINDS ME OF ITHERAEL, MY COOL ANGEL FRIEND! GOOD CHOICE! WOWIE, IF HE HAD HAIR, I BET IT WOULD LOOK JUST LIKE THIS. NOW WE JUST ADD OTHER BAKING RELATED THINGS! SODA, SUGAR, FLOUR, EGGS...

[Each one is roughly dumped in with the rest of the pasta, shell and all, then violently stirred.]

THE HARDER YOU DO THIS, THE BETTER IT WILL BE!! STIR WITH ALL YOUR MIGHT! OKAY, NEXT WE DO THE SAUCE. HOW CONVENIENT! THERE'S SOME ALREADY MADE!! THAT WILL SAVE TIME.

[Two bottles are plucked: the first with a brown, oily liquid (chocolate sauce), while the second is packed to the brim with staples (staple sauce).]

NYEH HEH HEH, THIS CAKE WILL BE FULL OF IRON! NOW TO THE FINAL CHALLENGE! OHO, I FOUND THE BALLS!

[Doughnut holes, to the keen eye.]

THESE WILL NEVER DO. THEY'RE TOO DOUGHY! WE NEED TO TOUGHEN THEM UP WITH TRAINING. SO WE'LL ATTACK THEM UNTIL THEY CAN TAKE THE HEAT!!

[Finally, Papyrus unveils his magic, skewering the pastry globes with offensive bones and sending sugary shreds everywhere.]

YOU SEE, COOKING IS A BATTLEFIELD. IT CAN GET VERY MESSY! LET'S GATHER THE SURVIVORS!!

[He scurries around, scraping whatever he can find and slamming each layer in the oven.]

ALL DONE! NOW, I'M SAD TO SAY, THESE OVENS ARE NOT MAGIC. AND NOTHING BEATS FIRE MAGIC WHEN IT COMES TO COOKING! LUCKILY, WE HAVE SOMEONE WHO CAN DO THAT VERY THING!! PHIBRIZZO, IF YOU PLEASE.

[He poses and points confidently to the oven, directing the assured pyromancy thither.]

Edited 2019-06-11 01:45 (UTC)

[He's perfectly happy to oblige in ensuring that these Guardian debates are way more interesting than the last snooze-fest.]

Okay! Everyone can see how well we cooperate together!

[And also because fire and chaos make the world a better place.]

Get ready!

[Fortunately, Phibrizzo shows just enough sense to use a less powerful fire spell. This one's focused on precision rather than area of effect.]

FLARE ARROW!

[Incoming arrow made of fire magic!]

Edited 2019-06-11 02:01 (UTC)

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