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Don't touch that booth! [Ted's tardy appeal] [public to all but Lucifer]
Greetings, inhabitants of Genessia. If Guardianship is anything like being a politician, I guess I'll have to make a speech to that effect. It's a pity I don't know many of you yet; I hope to rectify that in the days to come. Moving right along, here are the reasons I ought to be the guardian of Attleton:
1. A free dessert of your choice to any and all who vote for me; I bake. Lucifer is not the only one who can tempt.
2. The democratic spirit. I firmly believe that people who head anything should be representative. Attleton, a more or less quiet suburb writ large, is a place much like where I spent the majority of my youth. I intend to keep it that way.
3. Variety. As far as I can tell, all the other guardians are of the same sort; dreadfully practical women with some measure of strength. What fun might one have, then, if you had an unpractical man with a measure of weakness?
4. Fun. Where I come from, in order to secure their positions, most politicians say things in the news that are hardly newsworthy. Rest assured, I won't rest until any and all newspapers alight themselves the moment they're printed, so aflame will the contents be.
5. Destiny. I believe I'm the only one that can truly defeat Lucifer. It is written in a legend. I'll produce it, upon request.
6. The best for last: I have found Justice. When he is properly wed, he will join me.
Thank you for your time; hopefully I've used precious little of it.
1. A free dessert of your choice to any and all who vote for me; I bake. Lucifer is not the only one who can tempt.
2. The democratic spirit. I firmly believe that people who head anything should be representative. Attleton, a more or less quiet suburb writ large, is a place much like where I spent the majority of my youth. I intend to keep it that way.
3. Variety. As far as I can tell, all the other guardians are of the same sort; dreadfully practical women with some measure of strength. What fun might one have, then, if you had an unpractical man with a measure of weakness?
4. Fun. Where I come from, in order to secure their positions, most politicians say things in the news that are hardly newsworthy. Rest assured, I won't rest until any and all newspapers alight themselves the moment they're printed, so aflame will the contents be.
5. Destiny. I believe I'm the only one that can truly defeat Lucifer. It is written in a legend. I'll produce it, upon request.
6. The best for last: I have found Justice. When he is properly wed, he will join me.
Thank you for your time; hopefully I've used precious little of it.
[Video]
How could you spend the majority of your youth in Attleton? That's impossible, unless you mature in mere months.
Re: [Video]
But you're right, I'll fix that for clarity's sake. I merely meant that I spent my youth in a place very much like it. It's familiar. Bone of my bone, flesh of my flesh, etc.
[Video]
And if you think I'm going to vote for you because you can bribe with cookies, or because you're a man, think again!
Re: [Video]
Do you not like cookies? Or men?
[Video]
Re: [Video]
Still, I really must take the time to show you the pleasures of both. Would you like to meet somewhere?
[Video]
I'd rather jam a broom in my eye! No thank you!
Re: [Video]
That sounds painful; almost as painful as being called, if I remember correctly, a "drug-raped jerk". Well! You'll just have to apologize for it, and I won't accept anything less than a personal one.
What time would you prefer, Raye Hino? I've been told very plainly to "please direct all questions to Raye Hino, or visit the shrine during daylight hours at Thistle and 8th".
[Video]
[Seriously, it's like he woke up and and decided to wear the carpet, that pattern is way too busy.]
Get lost, I'm not meeting with you!
You're just jealous of his fabulousness
I'll just add 'sicko' to the list. Goodness, you just can't help yourself, can you? I had better arrive quickly, lest you "defile your heart with what proceeds from the mouth".
What's that? Any time's good? Excellent! Noon tomorrow, then, ought to do. Any preferences for the sweeties I'll bring? They're all quite good.
[despite his asshattery, Ted was genuinely curious. For someone who appeared to be a priestess, she was unusually hot tempered. He'd like to know where that comes from]
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Do you think you're funny? This broom is going in YOUR eye if you keep pushing it. Butt out!
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"Despite my best efforts, I could not make you laugh. You, on the other hand-
-oh, listen to me! Spoiling our imminent conversation on this thing. Good evening, Mrs. Hino; it will be the prelude to a very good morning."
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[He must really love the idea of getting beat upside the head multiple times with sweeping implements.]
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