I have... an exceedingly important question.

For all of you.

[Yeah it's video alright, Genessia's number one shitty hermit, long hair all undone. Midge? Midge must be behind the camera, he's always somewhere.

The demon grabs at a lock of hair on the left side of his face, gesturing violently at it. The hair, in response, flashes a brilliant silver, before zipping into yellow shades, black polka dots vibrating energetically across it]

What's it doing? I see spots.

I know there are spots.

What color is it?

This is very, very important, I need to know who is messing with my hair. Is it that dog?

Tell him I'm going to kill him. I'm going to kill that dog. You're a heartless monster.

Don't ever mess with my hair.

EVER.

It's not a stupid color is it? I swear to god if it's stupid-

[Once the festivities for the evening concluded, the network coughs up this guy with unusually green cheeks. Someone's perky.]

Hello, everyone! I hope you had as much fun as I did. Because if you have, you might wish to make use of these!

[Triumphantly, he flashes out a sleek slip of paper in his eager hands.]

A pass for a couple's massage! Goodness knows one would be handy for all the stress Genessia doles out. Supposed to be wonderful for that, as well as back pain and exercise related injuries.

If that sounds up your alley, it's my treat. They do insist on stripping to your breechcloths, so beware should that scandalize or offend your prudery. They're located in Nova City, meaning their supple hands ought to be enough for anyone, no matter how alien your anatomy. If memory serves they do have a "no scoundrels" policy they won't break for the world, so mind that.

Happy Valentine's Day, massaged or no!

[OOC: That last part he made up purely as a way to refuse people he dislikes. Otherwise, it's fair game if your muse wants to go with him. He honestly didn't plan for the event of more than one person taking him up on the offer, so he may pair you with someone else at random while buying more passes. If you've any requests for specific threading, pairings or handwaves, lemme know.]