Death the Kid (
symmetrophile) wrote in
genessia2014-11-28 09:48 pm
Entry tags:
[log]
WHO: Professor Stein & Death the Kid
WHAT: Who doesn't want to know what their professor might've been like at (almost) their own age?
WHEN: November 28th
WHERE: THE HOSPITAL
WARNINGS: Considering Stein, self-harm and vivisections.
Like Spirit, Death came to call on Stein while recovering at the hospital. Unlike with Spirit, Death the Kid had the courtesy of at least waiting until proper visitor's hours. And then promptly spent the better part of an hour stalking the hallway just outside of the room in which he expected to find his teacher. No. Not his teacher. Not yet. But one day.
(God willing.)
Except that he was, and for more than himself. For the life that Stein and Marie would eventually (inevitably?) bring into the world they collectively called "home". That precious, warmly-thrumming soul he witnessed for only too short a time before his exile to this world.
Eventuality was his knuckles rapping against the door, inevitability turning the doorknob and permitting entry into the room one young grim reaper, still fresh to the role of filling his exalted father's shoes.
WHAT: Who doesn't want to know what their professor might've been like at (almost) their own age?
WHEN: November 28th
WHERE: THE HOSPITAL
WARNINGS: Considering Stein, self-harm and vivisections.
Like Spirit, Death came to call on Stein while recovering at the hospital. Unlike with Spirit, Death the Kid had the courtesy of at least waiting until proper visitor's hours. And then promptly spent the better part of an hour stalking the hallway just outside of the room in which he expected to find his teacher. No. Not his teacher. Not yet. But one day.
(God willing.)
Except that he was, and for more than himself. For the life that Stein and Marie would eventually (inevitably?) bring into the world they collectively called "home". That precious, warmly-thrumming soul he witnessed for only too short a time before his exile to this world.
Eventuality was his knuckles rapping against the door, inevitability turning the doorknob and permitting entry into the room one young grim reaper, still fresh to the role of filling his exalted father's shoes.

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He doesn't recognize Kid, of course. Or at least, he doesn't recognize the sight in front of him. The soul is familiar, similar enough to Death that it makes the boy antsy, makes him want to tug against the invisible leashes trying to hold him back.
Stein waits silently, expecting an explanation.
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Glasses, for one. A height that towers over most of the reaper's own peers at the academy, for another. But this is Stein at scarcely half the age Kid associates with him, and these differences should have been anticipated.
The gaunt young man steps into the room, allowing the door to swing shut in his wake, sallow fingers adjusting the cuffs of his sleeves, each in turn. His soul is a shadow of his father's wavelength, muted now for the same reasons three lines of white are still unconnected in his head of black hair.
He may not approve of his appearance, but he's found it advantageous to lay low.
"You don't know me," explains the reaper, smiling thinly, "Not yet. But I'm familiar for reasons you can't quite put your finger on, aren't I?"
He sweeps his gaze over the room until it settles on a chair. "Seeing as you have time to talk, why don't we sit down?"
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"You're the new Lord Death. Lord Death's son." He doesn't have the option to leave, so he doesn't object to the older boy sitting down in the chair. Next time, he'll get rid of the chair.
"What do you want?"
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"That we get to know each other better."
The young reaper laces his pale fingers together, lowering them to perch on the point of one knee. For someone with such a fixation on bilateral symmetry (albeit, an obsession slightly less all-consuming of late), he has little qualms about sitting cross-legged.
His attention now fixes firmly on Stein. "How much has Spirit told you?" About everything, obviously.
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"I don't want to get to know you better."
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All he can think about is how this is the same professor who just opened up his own arm to see how it all works. That this is the same who would grow up to succumb to the same madness that has been part of him since the day of his inception.
Once, he had responded to insanity with unflinching, violent opposition. He understands it a little better, now. His order was perhaps not so different from what encompasses Stein's young world. The question is what absorbs him?
...And how, exactly, do they find a way to tame the beast before it runs amok? How did his father reach him? Did he at all?
Asking Spirit resulted in precious little he could use, just the ever-exasperating realization that Spirit was both overwhelmed by and prone to self-sacrifice over his sense of obligation to Stein. That it was so unsightly to Kid suggested that he perhaps had more to learn about the Deathscythe, too.
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"Senpai told me Lord Death is dead and you're in charge now."
But Stein has no intention of listening to this new Lord Death. This new Lord Death hasn't scared him yet, hasn't shown him the will of a god, hasn't given Stein a reason to listen.
There's nothing even remotely friendly or welcoming in Stein's posture or expression. He wants this new person gone.
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Unfortunately for Kid, he tends to be short on that necessary patience when it boils down to something he wants. That's what you get when you're raised the son of a god, with all the perks and preferential treatment one can expect of such lineage.
Kid acknowledges this with a nod, "For the sake of defeating a great threat against the world." He only elaborates with: "Your own contributions to the Academy made much of that success possible."
His exalted father had ruled through a war most had thought endless. Kid had helped end it, and differed in that he didn't much feel like frightening anyone into obedience, least of all a man he eventually would come to respect.
"That must have hurt," Kid asks instead, pointing at his bandaged arm with a lift of a finger from his lap, "I hope you learned a valuable lesson."
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"I'll use a knife next time." That's the only thing Stein would do differently, the next time he takes himself apart. He'd voluntarily cleared everything sharp out of the apartment (partly on Spirit's suggestion) and when the impulse hit, he had nothing to use but fingernails and teeth.
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WHAT THE EVERLOVING FUCK, STEIN.2/2
He doesn't know Stein used his own teeth and nails to rip himself apart, no, he assumes he used something else, not that any of it is much better. "How will you learn anything by hurting yourself? What if you lost the use of your arm? Did you even stop to consider the consequences?"
Unless it was a compulsion, much like how he couldn't simply walk out of his house without checking that the picture frames were all perfectly straight, that the contents of every closet and cupboard was arranged and coordinated and precisely perfect according to his particular aesthetic.
...What if it is, though?
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"I needed to see what was inside."
Books aren't enough. Pictures aren't enough. He needs to see living flesh. His own is just fine, if that's the only option.
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That word in particular resonates with him, the way he recalls what it feels like to do battle against his own compulsions. It's never really about wanting to (though he might want to avoid the consequences that Kid was sure would follow failing to comply with these urges), but about something more urgent than that, more vital.
He needed things to be orderly, to be just so.
"Did you think it a worse idea to wait? That failing to see it right then would prove some insufficiency in yourself? Or, perhaps, that to leave this need unsatisfied would invite some grave consequence?"
Steepling his hands before his face, Kid tips forward his head until his fringe trickles coolly over his fingertips.
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It's not really mental, not a series of decisions that boil down to if-then. It's more an impulse, a sudden overwhelming thing that just happens without his thinking about it. When refused or denied, it turns into an overwhelming need, as deep as hunger or exhaustion. There aren't any bargains with the universe, just a desperate reality.
"You know me when I'm older. What do you think?"
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Someone who can only use his experiences to give shape to a 'frame of reference'. Like anyone else, Kid can only rely on what he's witnessed and felt to relate with anyone else, and for the first time there is something important to him that might just fit in that strange shape he's recognized in Stein's behavior.
Is he just imposing a familiarity where there isn't one, out of some desire to relate a unique problem with someone else's? If Kid was in a position where he needed that frame of reference to cope with his own neurosis, he might have suspected as much. But he's come to a point past that.
Behind his steepled fingers, Kid's smile is as sharp as a sickle and just as quick to strike. It's gone by the time he lifts his head, but not without first saying:
"We might agree some needs can be indulged."
He passes a palm down his face, sitting back to collect himself. "And one day you'll learn which shouldn't be, and why."
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Indulged.
That has never been an option.
One day.
Everyone had always told him things had to change right now.
There's something happening here, something Stein doesn't understand. So he just stays silent and watchful, waiting to hear a better explanation.
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"All I ask is that you communicate clearly. When opportunities present themselves that will allow you to satisfy your curiosity without... ending up in this situation again," and at this, Kid's hands break apart from each other to gesture vaguely at their surroundings. "You may find some measure of relief without bringing undue trouble on yourself."
He understands that might not always be possible. For him, stress and grief were enough to have him shutting himself inside an empty mansion, spending days cleaning the replica of his former home top to bottom and still that brought no comfort to his troubled thoughts.
Acknowledging and accepting even what is problematic. This is a start. Professor Stein was not a transformation that took place in the span of a single night.
"I think this is a fine place to begin. Don't you?"
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And really, Stein doesn't think "this" is a fine place to begin. Vague offers coming from a god he has no respect for, boundaries not clearly defined and no consequences given for crossing them. This new Lord Death has none of the imposing quality that the old one had, none of that cheerful brutality that unsettled Stein and gave him a reason to behave.
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"He neglected to go into as much detail," admits the reaper, squinting towards the door. Admittedly, Spirit was not exactly in the best shape to be holding as lengthy a conversation as they'd had. Perhaps he should have given him a break.
Naw, he's a Deathscythe, he can take it.
"Tell me more."
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"A witch amplified desires and impulses." That's enough explanation. He couldn't stop himself.
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Considering the malice that can lie in any heart... "It's a small wonder there aren't more patients admitted here. Perhaps the effect did not impact all residents equally?" the reaper muses aloud, preoccupation making his gaze distant, hard. "Or... it may be too soon. The question remains if this snake witch still poses a threat."
If the threat has been neutralized or quelled, then there may be no reason to act. If it's merely a lull between attacks... in any case, he'll need to look into this.
"How much of that situation did you witness yourself? I would learn more."
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"I didn't witness any of it. I was too busy ripping my arm open."
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That also means Spirit is the only one he knows personally enough to press for answers. Exhaling, Death the Kid adds, "Still, it's good to hear Spirit hasn't lost his edge, however regrettable that he ended up in the hospital, too."
In a change of subject, he lifts a finger, "By the way, considering much has changed between you two, has resonating with each other's souls proved difficult? I imagine not, considering the flexibility of your own soul."
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He doesn't know what to do, and the pain and the painkillers and all the confusion of his time here hasn't helped.
"He did try to stop me. Senpai's a good weapon."
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What goes on between the Deathscythe and his former (and present?) Meister is their business, so long as things don't get out of hand, but this puts both of them at potential risk.
"Why haven't you resonated yet?"
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"We will. Why do you care?"
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The chance is slim, but after what he heard from Spirit, even he has to wonder. Deathscythe tended to be... easygoing and generous with his wavelength, able to mold its pattern to a Meister with more readiness than others, but what if he resisted? Not that he would, if it came down to protecting themselves.
Perhaps he is worrying needlessly.
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"Why do you care?"
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Looking at him now, it's not difficult to draw the line to who he is and who he will be. Perhaps that wasn't the case for Spirit, he hadn't asked. Still, the young god smiles.
He will one day help me create a perfect world.
"In short, because I am your friend."
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1/2
"Huh?"
2/2
"Stein, what precisely would I use you for?"
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Can he be sure he wasn't, though?
After all, hadn't he made sure Kid grew up among humans, like a human, so that he would turn out differently? At first, he had thought it to avoid the disaster that was his father's first son, but...
"I am Lord Death, this is true." The young man lifts one finger, "All things are either in a state of growth or one of decay," Up goes another finger of the other hand, "Nothing remains the same at all times; inevitably change visits all things. So too the soul, isn't that right?"
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"If you're not going to use me, why are you talking to me?"
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He has options. They don't all have a thing to do with him, certainly.
"But regardless of what decision you make as far as that's concerned, I won't stop being your friend. And friends don't use each other!"
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"Yes, you do. You have me," points out the reaper, "And you have Spirit. Whether you realize it or not, we are your friends. And I have no intentions of using you."
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He wouldn't be surprised to hear he has none, considering his ambivalence.
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Of course, it's not all positive; there was a time when his interactions with Black*Star was the cause of intense personal distress. "That's not something you should believe simply because someone told you. Try it at your own pace."
It's not really that simple, either. Stein changed himself to become the person Kid and the others later knew him as.
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"You don't actually know anything about me. Why don't you come back in twenty years?"