genessia | VIDEO POST

[ For the first few seconds of the feed, there's just a dog in chill sunglasses with hearts on his face staring at the screen. He licks his nose once, then suddenly a deep voice comes right out of that mouth in perfectly a understandable universal language. ]

Hey. Hey. Ya didn't hear it from me, but I heard there's this guy named Cupid and he went and lost his arrows. Every last one! [ The dog looks left to right. ] All he wanted was to show a bunch of dumb humans that he wasn't some baby like everyone keeps drawing him. Who would base love off a baby, huh? Huh? Really, that sounds like a shotgun wedding waiting to happen. Not very romantic if you've got a baby first. Not that there's anything wrong if you wanna do that. I'm a fan of puppy love. Love in all forms, if anyone tells you different tell 'em to kiss your ass!

[ Back on track-- ]

This dog needs your help. Hundreds of arrows all across the city and if you bring 'em to me, you'll get a real good treat. Seriously, free of charge. Thanks, you're great. Just don't touch the tips. And if ya do, and ya have a problem, don't say I didn't warn ya.

Cupid out!

[ Wait, he was trying to keep that he was Cupid quiet since screwing up wasn't on his agenda for his big introduction. There's a whimper, just like a normal dog, then... ] Ay Chihuahua, I just boned myself with that one. It's me, I'm Cupid, just bring me my arrows and there's some charms in it for the people who bring me the most.

Threaded | Top-Level Comments Only

You could have just been up front with us about it...

Finally got people to understand I was just saying hi when I went around sniffing their backsides, get drunk at one party and some fluffy Pommie calls me baby and suddenly it's gone everywhere, humans start putting everything in their image, and who's the one suddenly being treated like somethin' less than an adult? Me. Now I come to town, tryin' to set the record straight, and my luggage falls off mid-flight. BAM! Back to square one. I just wanted a clean bowl, kid.

Color Ted skeptical. Possibly, Cupid had a different incarnation. More canine, more crude, more...impossibly ignorant as to what love is. Still, maybe he remembered a little something from his origins.

"Cupid, eh? You've aroused my cupidity...for truth! Tell me, who was the lover who dared not look upon you; and yet dared?"

To be fair, sniffing there isn't exactly going to give anyone a good first impression...

Psyche? You've got a lot of spunk askin' about my wife. It's because of the dog thing, huh? You should question things before the truth is in your face if you wanna chow down on everything Hallmark and storybooks feed ya. Here-

[ He turns around, showing off his bum (and the scar on his back leg from where Psyche injured him). ]

That help ya feel any better about helping a stranger in need or do I need to show you my ID tags, officer?

Excuse me for not being a human. You ever seen a dog that didn't do it? No. Because there's not a thing wrong with it. You'd be weary about shaking paws if you had to walk on yours all day too, kid.

What? Hallmark? That was a universal organization? Something insane was going on. Apart from the cupid-dog with attitude.

Ted blushed. "Ah, well, can't be too careful these days. My apologies. I'll set out for your lost barbs at once...how were those lost?"

[He was going to say something but he just... Can't get over the talking dog.]

[Cats rule, dogs drool. Just sayin'.]

How the hell do you shoot arrows?

Edited 2015-02-02 04:22 (UTC)

Apology accepted.

[ Cupid turns back around, his paw up to push his sunglasses up. ]

I was flyin' into town and the quiver got loose by this bird who wasn't watching where he was going. Suddenly BLAM, I'm barkin, he's squawking I was the one not watching where I was going, my sack of milk bones rips, knocks the extra magic dust over and and sends 'em flying all across the cities.

You got a problem? [ Yeah, he's getting barked at. ]

[ Go get stuck in a tree. ]

I got four paws, don't I?

[Go chew your own ass.]

Yeah. That would be the reason why you couldn't shoot a bow.

Not really. I just didn't think I'd ever see a talking dog.

[ This ass is flea-free, tyvm. He'll gladly drag it across the grass though. ]

You ever heard of a crossbow, buddy? All I gotta do is smack my paw down on the trigger. Semi-automatic with a pedal. We all gotta upgrade sometime.

[Yeah right. You probably have flea AND manage.]

That explains why you couldn't hold onto your arrows. [Because no fingers plus slapping a crossbow to shoot it sounds like a good way to lose arrows.]

You're seventeen and a half universes away from home, there's a talking sea lion somewhere around here, and you've got a problem with a dog. You really screwed the pooch on that one, buddy.

[ God dogs get the best medical treatment, ok. You should get that hole looked at. ]

Hey, hey, there's a bird at fault for that. Not my fault if some species don't know how to drive.

[ the weirdest part about that is that he's a dog. just. a dog. what's up with that?

talking animal? that seems perfectly natural. he's obviously some sort of spirit called cupid that fires arrows. sure. he's not familiar with the origins at all but it seems perfectly reasonable by his standards. ]

What happens if you touch the tips?

We have a winner! Finally someone asking a doggone good question. You know how I said puppy love's my favorite?

Well, that's what I came packed with- the light stuff. Just came to rain a little sunshine down on Genessia with a nice nip in the right direction. I was thinking of bringing the stronger goods, but woo-ey, can you imagine the dog dirt that would've stirred up?

Well I haven't seen the talking sea lion.

Can't blame me for your lack of experience! You gonna help or not? Here's a deal- anyone who turns in some arrows, I'll treat to a few drinks! Whatever your favorite kind is.

Drinks, huh? You have my attention. I might help out then.

Cool, I know a guy who's got the best stuff. You don't mess around with being a god for nothin', you know. But I want at least 5 arrows from ya before Valentine's Day.

I think I can do that.

When uh... When is Valentine's Day?

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