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Castlevania: Now with 100% less backtracking [OPEN] [Action]
Ted donned his ill-used thinking cap. Where to find the madman's lab, with the prized elixir of life?
The skeletons might narrow it down to two fifths of Genessia: Fayren, and Everglade. And, Ted found, no matter how he mentally hemmed and hawed, he could not logically choose between them. Alchemy, necromancy, healing potions...either place could house them comfortably.
But if not mentally, perhaps emotionally? The laboratory he saw was, to make poor use of his vocabulary, creepy. A dirge from an organ would not be out of place. Put that way, it seemed right at home in Everglade. Fayren knew its share of the fantastic, true. But it seemed a sunnier, earthy, more wholesome thing. His journey's destination resonated most strongly with the dark, the old, and the spirits of Dickens.
So much for deduction. Now, Ted set upon Everglade, beating pavement, asking obvious questions. Have any witch brews made themselves especially pungent? Any mad scientist cackles roiling through the air? Did they know of a man with clothing as ornate as his heart was black? The night wore on, moon watching ominously overhead.
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The winds continued to swirl under the floral assault, as the Man Beast went like a top. As the vines increased in strength, the creatures speed decreased, and the motion of the rocks died down. The decrease in momentum and speed thanks to the constriction allowed Ted's weights to crush the monster, as if it they were in a Loony Tunes sketch. Though it should have occurred to him sooner, Ted worried whether his debris might merely add to the chaos, chipping in another chunk of dangers in the blender that might have torn them apart. Thankfully, Koishi's vines had slowed him down to make sure that the impact struck home.
The beast was dead, thank God. Ted was still a bit leery of tentacles, but he couldn't deny that they often came to him in his hour of need. He didn't say anything, instead intent on what happened next.
A click let them know that the door back out had unlocked. The principal feature, however, was a large red orb, almost as big as the larger form of their foe. It materialized, high and in the center, slowly descending. Ted was captivated, and went out silently to touch it. As he did, it dispersed, and both Ted and Koishi would find themselves completely revitalized.
"Could that have been the potion?" The color matched. A moment's thought corrected his course; no, it wasn't. They hadn't even seen the lab yet. Did that mean, then, that it was all for naught? This was the last room in this section of the castle. All new discoveries laid to the east of the second room, which contained the lone skeleton. It would seem Ted's initial suggestion, of going up, had been a danger and a waste of time.
"I owe you my thanks, and an apology Koishi. It would seem we've reached a dead-end." He took a deep breath, and sighed. Physically, he was refreshed. Emotionally? All over the place. He was eager to continue, having just felled a beast he had no right to. Angry, that the cruel lord had toyed with him with the extraneous architecture. "When I see that man, I'll wring his neck till it's as thin as the one on his precious potion!". And, finally, a little sorry. Ted wasn't too bright, but even he could sense that he might have been as much of a weight as the one that had flattened the beast. Koishi, he thought, might do better to go on alone, or even forfeit the adventure entirely.
At least, he resolved, he wouldn't allow her to go on alone. 'Stubborn' was the word for the day. No way would Ted let Dracula win, even if he had to endure entire days of roving beasts and rooms that led nowhere. Let him be fired from his job for missed work, he would still keep going. It'd be an insult to his partner if he allowed their investment, however unfruitful, to end here.
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Koishi, for the most part, was no worse for wear. The scrape on her knee had bled a little bit, but it was just a scrape. At worst it would be annoying later when it scabbed over considering its location. In fact, it looked partially healed already. Other than that she was a bit dusty, but it was nothing a hot bath later couldn't fix.
Koishi rolled her shoulders and stretched backwards some as the tentacles retracted back into her sleeves, making little internal adjustments to ensure they folded properly. It had been awhile since she had used them to this extent. She didn't seem all that concerned about the sphere, not objecting to him approaching or touching it, continuing to adjust herself and straighten her outfit as he spoke. All the while she allowed her calming influence to wash over her adventuring partner, pushing back some of his stress. Once they were mostly put away she walked over to her pudding bucket and picked it up. Some of it had spilled out but the fact it had fallen on its side had saved it from the flying debris. She took a moment to examine it again and nodded, satisfied it was still in tact.
She turned back toward Ted. "You need to be more careful mister, okay? You're a human and humans are very fragile and there is real danger here." It was a gentle scolding. "And you don't need to apologize for taking the wrong way. You couldn't have known and I'm having fun exploring with you. I am worried about your safety though. I'll do my very best to keep you safe but don't be afraid to take your time and be careful, okay?"
She drifted over next to him, her third eye closing completely once more. She offered him a spoonful of pudding. There was quite a bit left. It seemed not even Koishi could quickly eat an entire bucket of the stuff.
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Ted smiled. "Hah, me careful? And you, delving into sweets from this of all places...fair enough." He took a bite anyway. As with all fairy tales, he knew that if he was going to play his part correctly, that meant doing what he was told. Even if it was by those who looked like children.
"Let's keep going then, just as we were. We'll search out this place's heights, looking for the lab." He lead back to their second room, and opened the door on the right to reveal another massive hallway, stretching wide before them to the east. It was here, Ted discovered, that the castle most definitely showed its taste for death. Not even unlife, just death. It was the least practical room Ted saw in any dwelling. Essentially, a sadistic obstacle course. It started easy, with a few platforms to navigate. Past that, a bit deadly. Fail a particular jump here, and you would land on some spikes. Worst of all was a rotating blade which covered the length of its entrance. No flying over this one. Indeed, it took Ted some hard looks before realizing that the only way through were hollow, toothless parts of the blade, surrounded by its sharper siblings. But for all that, Ted couldn't help having fun here, mostly due to Koishi's influence. If Dracula wanted to institute the world's deadliest jungle gym, Ted would play.
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She did stop fully when the next room was revealed though, spoon hanging out of her mouth. She had never seen such an absurd place before. Pits on the ground? Why would anyone employ anything so silly? Oh yeah, not everyone could fly... She tipped her hat up, pulling the spoon from her mouth. "This is a silly place." Another bite of pudding. And then one more. "Not even the big red devil mansion was this silly. And that place had rooms and halls that changed size when you weren't looking." Even with the spinning blade in the air, Koishi was going to fly anyway. At the pace it was moving it wouldn't exactly be hard to get past. After all, dodging bullets was much harder than following along with the movements of a stationary object.
She shrugged and began drifting forward, placing the spoon back in her mouth and holding the bucket loosely. She looked slightly bored with the room even. After all, there wasn't anything to eat in it. Not even the corpses of freshly skewered victims on the spikes. Oh well.
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"I wonder if that man's ever sad, having a castle that's hardly fit to live in?" Ted made his way through easily enough, relying on Koishi to save him should he fall. But with the reduced gravity of the flight pin, he has having a simple enough go at it.
The next room was empty, save for three directions. Up they went.
This one was fairly small, bearing a path left and right. And one skeleton. "He must have spent them all on the previous room. Allow me." But no ordinary skeleton, this. It touched the ground, sending a length of electricity through the carpet, and for a brief moment, you could see Ted's skeleton too, as the bolt traveled into him.
He was trying to be careful Koishi, honest.
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Koishi followed Ted without issue, continuing to eat the pudding but, after finishing most of it, stopped. She licked her lips and looked down at it. "I'm stuffed with pudding now. You can have the rest if you like. If we find some meat or vegetables though I wouldn't mind eating those. I like meat and vegetables."
She was offering him the bucket when they entered the next room, Koishi looking at the skeleton. This one was a little different but she didn't see any reason to stop Ted as he stepped forward to take care of it. "Okay. Just don't let your guard-" The little satori tensed, the hair on the back of her neck as the room filled with the faint sense of electricity.
"MISTER!" In an instant blue and pink hearts were launched at the skeleton in a helix. They collided in the center, combining into a potent, purple-tinted magic bolt which hit the skeleton very hard, shattering it. Koishi was at Ted's side in an instant, grabbing and shaking him. "Mister! Mister are you okay?"
Good luck getting Koishi to stop shielding you from now on Ted.
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Ted considered a few choice comments concerning her sister. Maybe she'd have more luck if she treated strangers better, or It would be a hardy friendship indeed that could withstand constant mind-reading. He'd settle on a cheerier "I'm sure if she followed your example, she'd have ample company in no time."
Ted was tumbling words through his shake. "Yes-just-a-bit-frazzled-that's-all." It took more out of him to resist the obvious pun. But then, God might finish the job should he say something so blasphemously impertinent. "I think I will have some of that dessert, just to get the taste of smoke out of my mouth." Oddly, he felt much better. Pudding = restorative properties? Wait till the surgeon general hears about it.
He took a moment to recover from his slight electrocution before continuing...which way ought they go? Ted fished out a coin, and flipped it. Heads left, tails right. Heads it is, left they went.
"Hallelujah!" Ted cried. The lay of the room was completely different. No more gloomy, stormy castle decor. Now everything was tidy, alabaster, and clinically pungent. No mistake about it, this was the lab area of the castle, if the beakers in the background were any indication. The room itself was empty, as if to celebrate the triumphant fact of their progress. "Oh, Koishi let's hurry! It can't be far now." He ran ahead, taking in the sights. A whopping six paths to choose, evenly distributed upon either side's height. "Oop, musn't hurry." He slowed his run. "Careful, careful! I haven't forgotten." He decided upon the upper-left path, climbing and leaping platforms to reach it.
Nothing in here, either. It was starting to feel unnerving, how still these rooms were. Appropriate enough for a lab, Ted supposed, but he wouldn't complain if their path were all the smoother. He continued on.
Ah, back to normal as usual. A bulky, pale-fleshed thing wearing a purple mask and undergarments, leered at them. Slowly it turned, bearing two butcher knives that it sharpened as they approached. Indeed, more like him were ahead, three burly butchers in total. They hadn't much to say, but their intent was clear. Ted repeated Koishi's mantra in his head: be careful. They seemed slow enough, but perhaps that was a ruse. Should he challenge them in melee? No reason to chance it, though his bullets wouldn't last forever. Still..whoa!
Ted ducked, as one of them threw a knife out of its attached harness. Again with the knives! Well, good thing he didn't charge blindly.
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She followed close behind Ted, keeping a careful watch, a bit more alert now. She did pause at his exclamation, blinking in surprise and perhaps some confusion. "Halle-what now?" Koishi tilted her head. She had never heard the expression before. "Oh, wait. Is this the lab?" She looked around. It certainly didn't look like the rest of the castle. She wrinkled her nose. "It smells like the moon-doctor's office... I don't like it Mister."
She stuck even closer to Ted after that, clearly tense. She hesitated before he opened the door to the room with the butchers, her third eye opening slightly... but she didn't stop him. She could sense minds beyond. Maybe the were friendly? The door opened. No. Not friendly at all.
Koishi also had to dodge the spinning blade, her third eye reacting a bit more dramatically, shying well out of the way. For obvious reasons really. She reached forward, hardening the shield around Ted further, summoning some of her magic. Her aura had grown somewhat unsettling... She loosed a blast at the first butcher. A double helix of hearts once more colliding with each other and then speeding toward the creature.
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The evil butcher took it full on in the chest, and dispersed into a pile of ash. That left the other two, the closest of which took advantage of the opening, throwing another knife. Ted was ready for this one, hopping over and closing the distance all at once. Yes, yes, caution, forever caution. But with Koishi's shield, he reasoned, isn't the best use of security to fuel your confidence? In fact, now that Ted split-thought about it, Koishi's two-pronged advice to be both confident and and careful seemed at odds. Could he truly be adventurous, inching along and being ever-ready, never taking any risks?
Well, if he had to choose one, Ted wanted to be positive. Confidence! He unsheathed his sword-stick, engaging the butcher in combat. Their blades clashed, steel ringing. Ted's blade and footwork was lighter, though he was careful to position his foe between himself and the second foe, lest any more flying blades disturb him. The shield held strong, despite his lack of formal training. He found and opening, and swiped across the creature's chest. It flinched; Ted pressed the advantage, laying into the undead flesh.
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She scattered roses all around her, the tiny flowers drifting pleasantly through the air before rapidly expanding and exploding. The petals acted like shrapnel, ripping into the undead beast's rotten flesh before exploding again causing catastrophic damage.
Ted certainly would not have to worry about additional flying knives.
Focusing on Ted again, Koishi hesitated, glancing up at the butcher, and then down at her friend... Before focusing fully on Ted's shield. It would take some exceptional damage to break it like this. It let him fight the monster in relative safety all things considered. Not that Ted knew that.
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It was violent work, but they made an end of it. Ted wiped his brow. Thank goodness these were weak to swords, else Ted might've been at it for some time. Apparently, these creatures could dish it out, but not take it. He went forward, a small spring in his step. He smiled and tipped his head towards his partner, letting her know it's time to go.
The only way out was up, so Ted climbed out of the hallway into another large area. The most striking thing about it was how, amongst the bubbling brews littered around, there was a familiar rising of steam. Tea, by the looks of it. Ted approached. "Hmm, I wonder if Luke might make something of this?" He got out a thermos from his satchel to take back as a sample later. "Unless you'd like to taste test it? Wouldn't want any evil tea to darken his doorstep."
Another scan, another pathway above. "It can't be much farther now..." A jump, a climb, and they got into yet another hallway, one doorway to the east.
But before that, a statue guarded the entrance. As soon as they entered, it would begin to move. It was leonine in form, likely a few hundred pounds. It looked old, crumbling and ready to fall apart at any moment. It bore small wings, and a mane like a man's beard: The Gashida. Ted knew better than to tango with something that large up close. Ted's mind raced as it lumbered towards them. "I've got it!" He rummaged again, produced a bag of catnip, and pitched it at the beast.
It was not impressed.
"Worth a try." If only the shop had sold concentration of acid rain. How do you kill a statue?
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She paused to let Ted explore the laboratory, drifting behind him, rather fascinated herself by all the colorful bubbling potions. "Hmm Maybe?" She took the thermos from Ted, blowing on it. "Youkai don't get sick or poisoned easily."
She drifted up behind Ted and peeked over his shoulder at the big statue. She didn't know what it was, or what it did. Only that it was in the way. She frowned a little bit, blowing on the brew again. Still too hot. She pouted a little and capped it, seemingly unconcerned with the large stone statue in their way.
"I don't understand why every room needs to have an enemy like that. But it's made of stone so it should break to something that explodes." Vines were already starting to creep up from the floor toward the statue. She didn't want to get close to it either to summon her roses more directly.
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"The moment you find sense in this accursed place, you let me know." Truthfully, Ted hoped Koishi might just blast it. He didn't have any explosives on him. A good idea, for certain, but where he came from, home manufacture was illegal, and pretty dangerous. It'd take a very confident Ted indeed to trust himself with recipes. Not very easy or cheap to purchase either.
The Gashida marched on, a bit slower, while Ted tried to think of something. "Aha!" He actually had gotten the next best thing: raw sodium. Never know when one might need a random element from a chemist's shop. Who knows, he might even be able to replenish his stock here. He freed it from its packaging, unwrapping as fast as his fingers would allow, keeping an eye on the beast's steady pace. He threw it, then reached in his bag for a squirt gun, the one weapon no manchild would be caught dead without. He took aim. "Take cover!" Then fired.
Ted covered his head as stone debris flew. Thank goodness Dracula was too cheap to afford new statue monsters.
"Not my brightest idea, admittedly. Still, it's gone. Let's see what it guarded." He cracked open the door to find another altar, this time with a green gem. "Darn, the potion yet avoids us. Still, not a bad prize. It matches your eyes, even." Though Ted wasn't well-read when it came to magical minerals, this was the "Frenzy of Wind"; a light green thing that had a gusty sound when held to your ear. Ted was all too excited to share that fact with Koishi. Once they had properly appreciated their strange green rock, they went on.
So, going up was a bust. Perhaps upper...right, according to Ted's latest coin flip. Another altar, another prize. This time: cheese. "That man should really consider a fridge." Onward!
Another long room extended upwards, a vertical obstacle course. The skeletons they all knew and bashed were there, strategically placed among many platforms for maximum annoyance. It'd be a simple enough climb, were it not for baddies there to muscle you off every step. At this point, Ted wasn't too concerned for personal glory; he'd even be delighted if Koishi flattened whatever bizarre entertainment Dracula expected by leaping, or flying, over these endless hurdles.
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"That was a loud and inelegant bang mister." Koishi shook her head to clear it. "You should learn magic so you don't have to use such crude means. Then you can play danmaku with me too." Of course Koishi didn't understand how or why Ted was against using magic himself. She didn't seem angry at least.
She took a sip of the tea, pausing and blinking down at it. "This is really good tea Mister!" Another sip before handing it to Ted. "I don't taste any magic or anything strange..." A pause. "Actually it tastes like the Nice Maid's tea from the big red house at home! She makes all sorts of things!"
***
Elsewhere, Sakuya was tapping her heel on the ground watching the duo through magical means... She had recognized that teakettle and did not know who had moved it into that room or why. She had set up one of her special blends for the afternoon snack later... Yes she could make more but it didn't make it any less irritating! And with a good bit of the tea removed the kettle would end up getting scorched if left on the flame like that!
She took a breath and pushed the irritation to the back of her mind, resting back in her chair. She made a mental note to make more tea later... Also to scold those maids for letting intruders pass so easily. Absolutely disgraceful!
***
Koishi stared for a long moment at the wind-stone before taking it from him and holding it to her ear. She giggled. "I can sense magic in it Mister. I bet it does something really neat and clever. I'm not sure what though." She stuck it in her pocket for now. It would be safe there.
The next prize made Koishi pause in her tracks, tilting her head to the side. "Cheese?" She picked it up and took a bite, her eyebrows raisin subtly. "Mm! It's really good cheese Mister!" She practically shoved a chunk in Ted's mouth before it was somehow put away in the bag. At least she was taste-testing all the random food they found but she should probably make sure to save enough room for the rest of the journey. Then again she had eaten all that pudding and seemed to be just fine...
The vertical room took her a little by surprise, the little youkai staring up through the bizarre maze of... stuff. She looked to Ted and then looked back up, pouting a little bit. "Who builds a house like this? It seems... Dumb. Unless everyone can fly. Then it's fine I guess... Sort of." She didn't sound too sure of herself. Needless to say she began drifting up through the room with a practiced ease, dodging or batting the tossed bones to the side and blasting any skeleton who dared appear in her line of sight. "Come on Mister. This room is boring! Let's keep going!"
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Better the magic things go with the magical one. Speaking of magic. "Ah, there's the rub. My race is expressly forbidden from the practice."
Ah, cheese attack! Well, Ted wouldn't resist, speaking with a full mouth. "Ef es pree gud; crrfll dough." He swallowed. Ted laughed at Koishi's pointed annoyance at the obstacle course sections, especially coming from one who rarely had much bad to say about anything.
Their reward for climbing that oh-so dastardly gauntlet was a garland of flowers. "Ha! I didn't figure him for the type." Feeling impish, he whirled it around on a finger before trying to land it on Koishi like a horseshoe. It didn't have any effects, it was just an unusually girly accessory in an increasingly strange laboratory.
Going west, the next room was a reverse L-shape, with a straight past to the west and several above to their right. But worse than too many ways to go was a brown, fuzzy, writhing thing slowly drifting through the air. The Larva: a rust-colored, sectioned insects at least two Teds' length in size. It wasn't especially aggressive, lazily drifting through the air. All the same, Ted didn't wanna touch its spiky carapace, or its pincers on the end.
"It's fairly slow; perhaps we might avoid it?" Killing monsters was all well and good, but no reason to fight if it was that lazy.
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She did quiet down when they entered the next room, actually jumping a little in surprise when the garland was tossed at her. She almost dodged out of reflex, catching it just in time. She looked at it a moment before smiling and placing it around her hat. A perfect fit.
She stepped into the next room, pausing at the sight of the huge worm thing drifting about the room. She furrowed he brow, staring at the creature, her lips pursed somewhat. "It's not really hostile like the other things. We can leave it alone if you want Mister. It's not really doing anything... like those rock golem creatures back home. They just wander around and eat rocks. The monsters in old hell don't attack them because the monsters eat meat. Not rocks. So they don't conflict or anything." She began making her way through the room, keeping her distance from the larva. Even though she had said they didn't need to attack it she kept her hands charged with magic just in case...
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"Your nose is on the nose, I am most definitely a human, though we're probably talking about different sorts." Oh goodness. If Ted had thought sooner, this conversation might go towards his carry-on, and that would be a mess to untangle out of. He'd take the larva over that.
So he climbed slowly, not wanting to get its attention. Luckily, the larva didn't give it. "Locked", he said, tugging at the door. True, Koishi might try bombing it, but would Dracula be such a jerk that he'd lock them out of the thing they're supposed to be seeing? He dropped down, and tried the other one.
This room was unusually calming. Ted felt as though nothing would intrude on them here. In a way, it also felt foreboding, just as the calm before the storm. "Let's rest here; something tells me we're very close now." He plopped down his bag, stretched, sighed mightily, and sat down. "So, was seeing a laboratory as fun as you hoped?"
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"Magic has always been used by humans for all sorts of things. Good and ill. From burning homes to bringing rain to dry crops to summoning or banishing spirits both malevolent and benevolent... To fighting youkai! The world probably would have been taken over by youkai if not for humans learning magic. That would have been really bad!"
She knelt down next to him, siting back on her heels in a practiced motion. There weren't any cushions to kneel on but this would suffice for now. "What makes you think we're close? Are you an oracle Mister?" She reached into her pocket and pulled out a draw string bag, opening it and removing a piece of taffy wrapped in wax paper. She offered it to him. "Here. Sis made these. You can have some if you like."
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War? Hard to imagine, between humans and fairies—youkai, rather. That pet name was seeming less and less appropriate.
"Mm. Magic was always 'ill' in my world. A few exceptions, I suppose. Merlin was a decent enough sort. But as for your everyday, garden variety man? Out of the question."
He laughed. "Well, no one has definitively tested me not to be an oracle. Instinct, I suppose." He took some taffy. He found it funny that her solemn sister did seem to live up, now and again, to Koishi's lauds, but only where none could see. "Thank you."
He chewed thoughtfully. For all Ted knew, this might be his last supper. Dracula didn't seem the type to let his prized possession go without some sort of explosive climax. This was all for his amusement, after all. It's too bad; this room seemed ideal for a nap, if he could only chance it in an evil castle. Still, Ted wouldn't mind waiting for a while. Somehow, he knew that the right time to depart would come to him. Probably through the explicit prodding of his partner.
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"That just shows how little you understand magic. And humans fear and shun what they don't understand. I should know!" Her third eye drifted over, nudging his shoulder gently. "There aren't many magics that are bad by nature. And even 'bad' magics can be used for good purposes. Like using blood magic, which is a magic that almost always hurts people when practiced, to drain some life-force from one human to save another. I mean, there are better ways to save a life with magic but the point still stands."
She brightened a little. "It's the will of the user that is good or bad. Not the magic. And it sounds like Merlin was a good person. If good people are allowed to have magic in your world too, then why not you? You're a very good person. I can see the shape of your mind and personality and intentions Mister. You can't tell me that you're not."
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"Oh, yes I can. I'm flattered, nonetheless." He chuckled, particularly at the way in which his partner seemed to drift between incomprehensible whimsy, and dialectic dialogue. It was all he could not to laugh at 'the point still stands'. Ted thoroughly gave up trying to explain the finer points on things like humanity & the occult, Mark 10:18, or Merlin's unique parentage. This particular fairy either knew these things already, or was too innocent to ever know them. Certainly too stubborn; it'd be a strange day indeed for someone however many centuries old to learn from a twenty-something.
He swallowed, satisfied. "My compliments to the chef. When this is all over, you should get her recipe, if only to stop me from stealing it." He dusted himself off and stretched. "Indeed, I should rather keep the aftertaste than eat crow should someone overtake our lazy selves. Ready to go?"
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"And why are only special people allowed to have magic and power? Wouldn't it make more sense that people who would be best suited to use it be allowed to have it? Even if they aren't special. Even the most basic and mundane magic user can do some good. Even if its just making a child smile with pretty lights and sounds. They really like the magic that makes crackly noises."
She tilted her head as she stood, tapping her chin. "It's like saying only special people can use technology. That's a human creation too. And even if not every human can create new technology any human can pick up existing technology and use it. It takes hard work and study to learn it in its basic form and then more to become good at it. And then magicians can create things so that regular people can use magic. Isn't that the same as technology?"
As for the comment about the candy, Koishi shrugged. "Sis can teach you to make it, but you'll need oni sake. Be sure not to drink it on its own or it will make you sick because its so strong, okay? Most humans can't handle pure oni sake."
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Ted sighed in good nature. "My, you're tenacious. I suppose I had better appease your curiosity, if only to regain your much-needed focus for the trials ahead.
Merlin's a legendary wizard where I'm from. Dead, of course, for almost a millennium. Born from an incubus, a most unfortunate siring. Hence his connection with the supernatural. I imagine he's under a different set of rules." And thus, Ted's reluctance to get into the nitty-gritty. He'd relent easily enough to some prying, but no way Jose is he going to explain what an incubus is.
"Which brings us to its verboten nature. Indeed, the main reason I cannot, should not, must not use it is simply because I was instructed not to, by one whom it behooves me to obey. There are reasons, naturally. Preventatives against an array of darkness probably too dark for polite conversation. But the obedience comes first; that's the important thing. Will that do?"
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She tilted her head to the other side. "Instructed you... not to? Are you sure?" Her brow furrowed a little bit. "I'm not sure... OH! Like a religion! Why didn't you just say so?" Koishi had brightened considerably. "I understand now. At home in Gensokyo, a nice lady with pretty hair has me help out at her Buddhist temple. She likes it when I talk about how my head is empty. I think she thinks it means something but I'm just a broken satori youkai but she doesn't want to listen. She says a lot of strange things about it that are difficult to understand, but I suppose that's what they want so I don't mind helping. Even if I don't get it myself."
She shrugged her shoulders, tipping her hat up. "Mister Spades." It seemed she finally had given him a formal nickname. "Be sure to look to make sure you understand exactly what is being said, okay? It's easy to get confused and misunderstand things. Especially with some of the lessons religions teach. Deities especially. They speak in vagueness and riddles and it can be hard to understand them, but don't give up, okay?"
She drifted up, looking at the door. "You're really restless, so let's go. We can talk more about it later over a warm cup of tea. Rose is my favorite, and I bet you'd like it too." She gestured to the door. "Shall we be off?"
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"Yes, exactly like one. You catch on quick." Goodness, if Buddhism perplexed, the faith from the other side of the world would probably be nigh-imperceptible. "No worries about deity; he's typically very lucid, especially about that. Strange; you're not the first lady whose urged me to dig deeper into things. And here I thought I knew it fairly well! Suppose I'll have to puzzle over that and my relation to spades."
He agreed, and went through. Whoa! That Larva almost got a bite in. Ted backed off, waiting for it to pass by. "That's one way to jump-start a heart...easy does it." He waited for it to pass by, then quickly dropped by, sneaking underneath to the west.
Another large room, eerily silent. They came in from the ground floor, seeing two pathways: upper-left, and upper-right. The room itself has the usual hodge-podge of alchemic materials. And one curious thing under a drape. Ted couldn't help himself, but whoever uncovered it first would find a choco souffle. This made Ted laugh a great deal.
"Oh, it's too absurd! Clearly, this is the reason this castle was built. This was why so much equipment, both arcane and scientific, was necessary, and why it needed to be guarded by scores of undead. Oh, that man, he thought he could trick us by making some red tincture. A literally red herring. I've seen through it! I can see it now; his brow, heavy with sweat, as his best and brightest labor to find the perfect ratio of filling-to-shell. The ingredients measured with the utmost precision, chocolate extracted from a diabolical cocoa bean plant. We shall find a greenhouse with the bedeviled tree just next door, I expect. But lo, his heart grew as dark and opulent as his dessert, having sacrificed humanity and sanity to produce it. And with most delicious irony, even what he has shall be taken away." Assuming Koishi hadn't already scarfed it, he'd stow it away. Perhaps the chaos of the castle had gotten to him.
Whether through infectious insanity, or just being Ted, he climbed towards the upper right, merrily inviting Koishi to attend. "Oh, what a place. What a loon!"
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I do not apologize for the reference.
Re: I do not apologize for the reference.
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