[Public Broadcast/Video] The Skeletor's Outta the Bag

[vyse_the_legend]

 [Attention Genessia citizens and Guardians alike! Meet Vyse, the Blue Rogue. This spirited young man appears on your screen, his brown hair a little plastered to his forehead by sweat. He's been running around a lot! But having freshly escaped danger, he's free to dole out the warnings. What little that can be discerned of him is this: he has one funky glass eye-piece, and he's in a well-lit cave of some kind.]

Greetings Genessia. I unfortunately have a warning to issue: the Goblin activity mentioned in the paper is part of something big; some kind of "plan" by Skeletor. Now I don't know who this Skeletor guy is, but I had a little chat with one of his cronies, and if that guy was any indication, this "plan" is big trouble. Those Goblins are armed to the teeth, so I don't think they'll be stopping in for tea.

Right now they're in Fayren. I told the City Guardian about it, but I don't know just what she can do alone against something like that. Personally? If these guys try anything I plan to be right there to put a stop to it. We're on to you, Skeletor.

[Personally he's hoping that being outed might curb Skeletor's ambitions for a while...] Everyone, be careful alright? These guys are dangerous.

Comments

HEY. What the heck is goin' on around here?!

[simon_petrikov]

[In a very Seinfeld fashion, Skeletor gets Ice King's narrow-y glare.] ... Skeletor.

What the heck are you doing over there? The racket is unbearable! And I got these green guys just wandering into MY territory lookin' for you.

[Then he sees the situation - God, Skeletor, big cage, lava pits.] Oh my glob, did you steal a Princess? You are totally cramping my style, man!

[the_evil_forces_of_me]

[Red eyes light up, then narrow, returning the Seinfeld-y glare.] ... Ice King.

[As if he didn't have enough idiocy in his own lair! Now he has to deal with this fool too?!]

She's not a princess, you fool! I've captured the Fayren Guardian!

[simon_petrikov]

HOW DARE YOU!

[Putting on his best Shakespeare, the Ice King shakes a fist at his screen.] Whaddya think you're doing, huh? Trying to show me up?! Trying to be all, 'Oh look at me with my skull-heads and my doom mountains, being all big and bad?' That's MY game, buster, MINE!

Ohhh, you think you're all that and a bag of potato chips, don't you Skeletor? Well you'll see. I'll go kidnap TWO Princesses. Yeah! A whole two! See how you like THEM apples!

[the_evil_forces_of_me]

I DARE ANYTHING!

[What does it take to shut this windbag up?!]

I DON'T CARE HOW MANY PRINCESSES YOU KIDNAP, YOU POMPOUS OLD FOOL! JUST SO LONG AS YOU DON'T BOTHER ME WHILE YOU DO IT!

[simon_petrikov]

You'll totally care! I'll pull something SO BIG that nobody's even going to CARE about what you're up to over there!

[He settles back in his throne, lifting a hand to rub his chin.] Skeletor? They'll say. Never heard of him. He some kinda circus performer? Now Ice King? Oh, that guy I know. He's the baddest of the bad. So bad he's cool.

[Maybe he'd even steal Skeletor's princess? Ohhh, that'd be dastardly.]

[the_evil_forces_of_me]

[Grraaaagh! He hates this guy!]

ENOUGH OF YOUR BABBLING, YOU DIMWITTED OAF! CAN'T YOU SEE I'M BUSY?

[simon_petrikov]

Pfff. Yeah, yeah, you bag of bones, I get it. [Ice King rolls his eyes and waves the guy off.] Go ahead and do your whole "I kidnapped a Guardian" thing. That oughta work out reeeeeal well for you.

But seriously, if those Goblins keep wandering in here I'm gonna have to open a can of kick-butt. [*BLIP* And the call is ended. Get off his lawn.]