genessia | 3rd Titan Down | Video (trigger warnings for: death, gore, and emotional trauma in the comments)

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3rd Titan Down | Video (trigger warnings for: death, gore, and emotional trauma in the comments)

[Those who know Jean might notice the shadows under his eyes and the fact that he doesn't look...particularly emotive about anything right now. Those who don't know Jean, hi.]

When I decided to use the Dream Docks, I thought I was only going to be there for a week. I didn't expect it to last over a month. But the city's still standing, so I guess I didn't miss much.

Still fucking weird as ever, though.

[Filtered to Mikasa]

Uhm, Mikasa... [And any confidence he had is gone. He's nervous and regretful, and he has no idea how to make it up.] Sorry. I just wanted to see what was happening on our world.

Are you--

Can we--

Can I come over? I get it if you don't want me to.

[Because it feels weird not asking after just disappearing like that.]

[/Filtered]

[Filtered to Marco]

I know I didn't talk to you that much for a while. How've you been? Just going to say this once and then move on. Sorry for the way I've acted...and everything. I'm surprised you haven't punched me in the face.

[/Filtered]

[Filtered to Weiss]

My absence was irresponsible, and seeing as you're running for Guardian, this might be a shit time to ask. But I want to know whether or not it's possible to have my job back.

[/Filtered]

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Because of the reasons you just said?

[More like why wouldn't she hate him? Before he knows what he's doing, he has a hand on her face. He can't help it. He might have been at the Dream Docks for a while, but now that he's back with her...

He's glad he's back with her.]

Why is your face warm? [He pretends to be clueless. There's almost an amused lilt in his words. It's the closest to happy he's felt in a while.]

[You're killing her, Jean... It's just going to increase...]

I uhm... I actually.... finally realized something after you left.... When Petra came to talk to me....

Yeah, I realized it too. Petra and Captain Levi are into eachother. It's ridiculous. I guess it has something to do with their heights being close...

[Now he's just outright smirking at her.]

[You know... She would probably chuckle normally, but right now she's just going to do this the best way she's done this in the past. Bluntly. It just made it harder to say it when she beat around the bush.]

Jean.... I love you.

I... don't know when it started exactly, but seeing you disappear too... It made me realize that what I felt for you was something I hadn't felt before. I didn't know what heart break felt like until you left.

I was just... so afraid I'd never be able to see you again... That... I was too late and even if I realized it for sure now, it wouldn't make a difference.

I.. I'm just so used to not feeling anything. I'm so used to losing people dear to me so I just.... chose to stop getting attached to people. To stop really starting to feel anything because if I did... all it would achieve is sorrow.... I wouldn't be able to do anything because I'd be so hung up on everything. It's easier not to feel... It's easier to just... block everything out. So this... this is hard to understand for me. To really feel something and be hurt by it....

And then no matter how much I wanted to pretend that I was fine, It was hard to push away my feelings to comfort Armin when I was no better. I looked everywhere for you.... I went to the Dream Docks myself, but it only took me about a week or so. I thought I should at least know what's going on...

[All those feelings of heart break were coming back. She was so happy he was back, but it didn't change the way she felt. How lonely she's felt.... How much she's tried to return to feel nothing when she couldn't go back to that. Burying her head into his chest, she couldn't help her shaking and tears. She knew that she wasn't the only one who'd probably be emotional about his return, but for now that escaped her mind. That fragile, clingy side of her was showing.]

Edited 2015-11-29 07:25 (UTC)

[He stills and he doesn't know whether to feel elated or devastated for hurting her. Mikasa declaring her love for him was supposed to be a dream come true. But she had suffered, and being someone important to him made that even worse. It was easier for him to admit he loved her and had been in love with her for a while. But he kept that to himself, out of fear she wouldn't reciprocate his feelings.]

[He doesn't say anything until she's finished. This is important, she's important and he wants to hear her. His face is hot now, and a faint pink. He notices the light reflecting off of her eyes before her face is hidden, and the tears along with it. He hugs her tightly, proving to himself that she's real and he's here and this is what's happening right now.]

I'm...I'm here right now... It wasn't worth it. I don't see how it could be. I shouldn't have gone. I'm not sure if I want to go back. [He's afraid. Mikasa is (relatively) safe here, and so is he. It's as if he's arrived at some schism and it only reminds him of how horrible their world is.]

[And he's not sure if she'll hear him, but.]

I love you too.

[She honestly didn't want to feel all of the stupid feelings... The feelings of loneliness... The feelings of heart break before.... He was back and that was all that mattered. He was right. She figured (maybe with the help of talking to Petra about love when he'd gone) that he'd reciprocate her feelings. After all, all of those times he'd tried to get her attention back at home and she didn't really give him the time of day to even think to it. It was entirely possible for her to fall in love with him back home if she had given him a chance, in between all of the hell they had to deal with obviously.

But even so, it was sill very surreal to hear it regardless. It was a weird adjustment to come here in the first place with no titans. With things (relatively) safer..., it was sometimes boring but.... It was still much better than back home. They had a chance for a life here... They didn't have that ability back home... To really have a chance to really feel any of this.... It was much more than she could say back home. Her main existence wasn't to just fight and make sure Eren stayed alive here.]

It's... okay... I'm just... I'm glad you're back. I missed you so much.

[Looking up from his chest finally, there was a faint wistful smile before giving him a peck on the lips.]

[He hadn't been through what she had, so he didn't have as hard a time getting attached. Why would he want to shut everyone away? That would just make life pointless. He didn't always count on others, but he still chose to trust a few. But it was different for her, she had almost lost everyone. He can't fault her for it.

But he doesn't know how to make it better or reassure her, beyond simple distractions.]

I'm happier here, with you.

[He reaches up to run his fingers through her beautiful, silky hair and quickly kisses her back.]

[She's more than okay with simple distractions. Hell, that's how she tries to ignore the things that are bothering her. As nice as it was to be with Jean again, she realized that they were still on the ground after she practically tackled him.]

R-right well... I'm sure.. you'd like to get up.

[Finally getting off, she offered her hand to help him up.]

[He shrugs.]

I'm okay with falling on the floor if that's how you're going to react every time you see me.

[Minus all the emotional pain. He takes her hand and stands up, getting a good look of his surroundings.]

So what were you doing before I interrupted?

[That's just going to make her face flush a brighter red.]

I was actually making my rounds.

[Oh right... Work... Well... David probably understands.]

[She did say she loves him. But that he's important enough that she'd disregard her duty just to find him still makes him blush.]

Should I...go? Somewhere. When do you get off?

Oh I....

[As much as she knows she should get back to work, she wanted to stay with him right now. She should be acting like an adult and getting back to work, but honestly...? She also figured that David would be the one who'd push her to go spend time with him... Maybe...]

Uhm... No... it's.. okay. I was actually... just finishing up anyways. I'm sure David wouldn't mind.

[Although, the next day she'd have to try to help him with Guardian campaigning...]

[He tries not to look too happy about that, but there's a hint of a smile.]

Where do you want to go?

[After a moment of thinking, she gave him a small smile it return as she took his hand in hers.]

Well.... I don't know about you, but I could go for some coffee.

[He laughs. It's kind of strained, like he hasn't used his voice for that in a while. Well, he was in the Dream Docks for over a month.]

Coffee sounds good.

[There were things that Mikasa had to tell him about, if he didn't already hear about them, but she'll tackle one challenge after another. It was possible that he'd already found out about Marco by now, but if he hasn't, than she was going to have to let him know before he actually went home.

Walking towards the coffee shop that they'd normally gone to.]

You know.... I went to the Dream Docks myself, but I wasn't gone for too long.

[For lack of any other conversationable starter ideas at the moment.]

[He glances at her uncertainly, before resolving to do it and tries to put an arm around her and pull her close to him.]

Then you have some idea of what's going on in our world. What was the last thing you saw?

[At least she's gotten better at closer contact, because when he pulled her close, she cuddled to him as they walked.]

Yeah. We just returned to Wall Maria to get Eren to the basement in question.

[He lightly leans against her, eyes flickering down to look at her lashes, the slope of her nose, everything.]

We're at the same point. I can't believe we're actually trying to go through with it. It happened so fast.

And with all of the things that happened since remembering the rest of the stuff.... It really just.... makes me feel less and less confident that we'll really save humanity.... the rate things are going...

Yeah... But they had to make the decision to go out before it was too late. At this point it already might be, but we can't do much besides try to plan and fight.

There's not much more we can really do. Meanwhile the world is still shitting on the people keeping them safe..... Good to see nothing has changed.

[That still pisses her off....]

They're afraid. Most of them, anyway, the rest are just assholes. I don't know if that's going to change if we do happen to be successful.

I seriously doubt it. Just imagine if all of us went on strike and left titans in their capable hands.... It would be an interesting sight to see as they beg for our help in the end, but even if I doubt we'll ever really get rid of all of the titans, I don't wish to risk massacring more of humanity that is actually still around.

I'd rather as few humans die as possible. Maybe I should say as few civilians. Soldiers are going to die, and even if we try to minimize that, it's not guaranteed. But not only would sacrificing humanity be wrong, it would be a waste if by some off chance we do win.

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inhisdebt - 2015-12-29 13:50 (UTC) - Expand

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3rd Titan Down | Video (trigger warnings for: death, gore, and emotional trauma in the comments)

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