one tick: TEXT

[stairsbro]

ok so like not that i dont appreciate a good inter-dimensional timehop and all
but this is some god damn ridiculousness right here

it took like three fucking years of some high quality troll meteor bonding to get from point a to point b the first time
and then youre all prepped and ready to go do this final boss thing FINALLY
and blink and youll miss it surprise motherfucker youre now snow white in your glass coffin
get your apple loving fairness in the grave
but wait there aint even a prince ready to kiss your pale ass awake
you were literally right next to one but we didnt bother bringing the bro along
no seven dwarves attending your funeral
gimmie at least dopey guys
not that id want to kiss dopey i mean grumpy is where its at
bad boy with a heart of gold right there
uh if you had to choose i mean
but i digress back to the point if there is a point im mostly just hella ticked about the situation
bc i was INVOLVED in some serious business
like engaged to be wed levels of involved in the kind of serious business that so serious and businessy that attendance is mandatory
you cant even miss this meeting even if youre in the john in another country like get your ass on that conference call while wiping we got special news report levels of seriousness in this business
this just in: URGENT BUSINESS
get your shit together genessia
who puts a coffin in a cave lake
i will not stand for this tranquility
your coffin is pimped out with the silk and the silver but thats all the points in your favor
besides that you kindly gave this whole pamphlet thing and some crystal bling
thats appreciated because for a second there i thought i got my ass killed due to some unlikely heroic shenanigans
right into somebodys bs fairytale dreambubble nonsense
or some inevitability in the timeline being screwed doomedways
and it was like hahahaa shit im calm are you calm

whatever i dunno i guess what i wanted to say is
yo
a/s/l and do you have applejuice
like the real deal made of the realest apples youve ever seen
bc ive been living in super fakey synthetic alchemized knockoff apple hell
back on the snow white metaphor i dont know what is real anymore and am desperate and vulnerable
and thus would go taking apples from evil queens in perhaps the worst disguise ever
who uses a warty hag as a cover for witchiness
snow read a gd book once in a while how did you not see what she was up to
you think cinderella would fall for this crap hell no

no but seriously though hows it going

Comments

text;

[gastronomics]

17/f/Nova City and I have the juiciest apples you've ever seen.

text;

[stairsbro]

holy shit
yes


uh
just to be clear this is not a euphemism right
on this presumably preposterously rare occasion the guy on the internet actually wants red fruity goodness in the form of actual apples

text;

[gastronomics]

Oh, no! Our restaurant is doing an apple theme this week:

[ Attached is a picture of Alice doing a peace finger sign in front of like 10 crates of apples. ]

text;

[stairsbro]

omg
are you kidding me
i actually stumbled my way right from apple hell right into apple heaven
what suspiciously amazing timing that its apple week
and you own the restaurant in charge of distributing this bliss
like a fairy apple godmother
who sends you selfies

text;

[callmeimouto]

oh wow tl;dr

[yeah she kinda skimmed it all, but she's just focusing on certain parts.]

15/f/not telling you and why would i have applejuice

i can't even tell what you're saying half the time in this entire thing- except maybe the part about wanting to kiss a dwarf or something like that. you're seriously an interesting guy ｢(ﾟﾍﾟ)

text;

[stairsbro]

why wouldnt you have aj i mean its god damn delicious
unless im remembering it wrong oh god what horror

no no no no i dont want to kiss a dwarf
i said if i had to pick one bc i got jipped on the prince thing
the prince is not someone i want to kiss either not that i wouldnt given the right circumstances and compatibility or whatever
and if the prince was a dwarf thats okay too im not against that or anything
or princesses!
not that im leaning in a direction here thats a bit tm
i just had this rant it didnt go so well hold up hold up
ok i dont actually wanna kiss anyone atm im just saying
if youre going with the whole glass coffin thing go all in
you cant halfass it

ok i need more creative emojis to match that one my emoji lexicon only has like typical smiles in it right now because the keyboard didnt support the symbols before how do i put shades on a guy like that help an interesting guy out

text;

[callmeimouto]

i don't have it because i didn't buy any yet???

....um, you're totally rambling, you know that?

i don't really know how to describe it- you just kinda put symbols together!! so it does stuff like <(｀^´)> !!

text; 1/hold up

[stairsbro]

so you are going to buy some right

yes i am

well yeah i know how to do it <( -o-)/
but like how do you think we do shades
cause sideways its an eight but we cant get that going on too well horizontally
wasnt it squares or something how does that work on this device

text; 2/3

[stairsbro]

right i gotta like
oh found them uh
▼
o
●
▨
■ ok ok

text;

[stairsbro]

( ∙_∙)

( ∙_∙)>⌐■-■

(⌐■_■)
yeaaaaaaaaah

Text;

[gammavirginis]

Hello!!

[ This was the first familiar face Porrim had seen here in Genessia (not counting The Sufferer or The Psiionic, since they were familiar faces, but different faces, and also she wasn't really seeing his face so much as his typing quirk but was there really that much of a difference?), after being here for MONTHS, so she was a bit excited! ]

Dave, right? I was rather fond of your ebubbles.

text;

[stairsbro]

oh yeah i forgot about those
pretty much one of my greatest accomplishments

sup kanayas ghost counterpart
wasnt expecting to see you here or like anyone at all
this is a pleasant yet disturbing surprise
are you the only one here

[gammavirginis]

I am of the largely same opinion! It has a number of compelling and possibly chilling consequences doesn't it?

[ i would add the plus signs but its late and i'm on a laptop and i don't want to ]

Very recently a few other trolls from Alternia appeared, from various epochs, if that's what you meant.

But otherwise no one I've met personally.

[stairsbro]

how the fuck does someone kidnap people from the dead

oh okay
so just us then out of people we vaguely know
guess thats a good thing because being kidnapped would be the bad situation to be in
not that leaving everyone to go fight literally every bad guy ever is an ideal situation
i think we might have the good end of things actually depending on how one looks at it
got some sweet crystal and get to do normal shit while passing the time in some cities
were going to get it on all conversationally in these fine kidnappee times
as the only familiar troll slash human combo
when we return theyll be like when did you have conversations
you two dont interact
but well have a bunch of inside jokes about being kidnapped
remember that time we had jobs haha
and everyone else will be like what the hell man

[Audio] Locked

[frostheartedrose]

ASL was left behind several decades ago as far as I remember. But if you really are serious with that... Too old, not interested, figure it out on your own. Most of this world is real enough as far as I can tell so apples will taste like apples. It isn't digital, spiritual, or mental at least since I'm certainly experienced enough with those to note any difference.

[A slight sigh of exasperation.]

As a side note... If you insist on using text, please use full words and proper... everything. That was painful and exhausting to read and I admit I skipped over half.

audio;

[stairsbro]

I'm dead serious. I'm reviving it. It's the age-sex-location reboot. Now without slashes separating the letters to make it fit in more with the current crowd and their shortening attention spans. Also, you have to make an explosion sound with your mouth after because we're all about explosions these days.

Can I ask what counts as too old? Like fifty? As old as disco? Dinosaur old? Like old enough to be fossilized if you weren't walking around? You don't even know how old I am so what if you're not too old. Too old for any relationship? Does this mean skeletons can never find love? This just raises so many questions you've got to give me more than that. That could apply to literally anything.

What does an apple taste like? And don't just be like apples taste like apples. Is there a notable difference between the taste of a spiritual apple? Ghost apples. Are ghost apples too old to be apples?

That was full proper words and everything. You're probably just too old to read it.

[Audio] Locked

[frostheartedrose]

I'm not a current crowd. Actually, I'm not even an old-school crowd. I was born during the Dark Ages. That might mean something to you since you actually use the term 'disco'. So... I was born around twelve hundred years before disco. Think Beowulf, Aztecs, dead Romans, and dusty old monks copying dusty old books by hand.

[After a slight pause.]

My strongest powers are telepathy and energy manipulation so I'm pretty confident in knowing how an apple physically tastes. I'm not old though. I'll probably live another seven or eight thousand years.

[Audio] locked

[stairsbro]

So you're like an immortal from hardcore crusader days. That's neat. I've only reached god status a little while ago so I honestly have no idea what counts as old. I figure you're only old if you go "Man, I'm too old for this shit" at some point.

Is this a private convo for a reason? Don't wanna blow up your spot here.

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[imaginationswoes]

That's a lot of swearing and I don't think I'll ever watch Snow White and see the same movie again. I also don't know how much Cinderella read... depending on the story she was very young, 7 I think, when her father pasted and she became a maid. Servants weren't aloud to read much.

I'm also pretty sure there is apple juice here...

text;

[stairsbro]

do we not swear here that didnt seem like a lot but im running at like r rated movie levels of vocabulary
maybe i picked the wrong princess
i know belle would run circles around the others with her logic because she has the most book learning ever
reads encyclopedias for fun that one
but i always figured cindy would know what up with the world for some reason
sneaking books and stuff eavesdropping on ugly sister lessons

good good

text;

[imaginationswoes]

Perhaps Snow White then? She was raised as a princess and was most likely well read though there is also Sleeping Beauty, not that either of those two had much of a personality outside of Disney princess. There are some of the newer movies too but I don't think they'd make your metaphor work...

I'm probably digressing. Also I've only really been in Genessia but the super market had apple juice. It's in the plastic bottle with the green label. It's good though very sugary.

text;

[stairsbro]

no werent you reading the whole thing started because snow took apples from a strange old broad that was obviously a witch
definitely not snow white
they have plenty of personality going on just not much in the intelligence department
aurora might of had some brains going but i dont know if she even knows how to read she was like in the woods with fairies pretending not to be fairies and didnt get her regal tutoring
jasmine maybe
but i stand by my decision of using cinderella for this metaphor though belle is definitely got the most book smarts but i cant really picture her hanging out with seven men in the woods because she ran away from a huntsman
shed like outsmart the guy somehow instead and never end up there
and mulan and pocahontas wouldve just kicked that guys ass
i didnt get to see the frog movie how was that
are there new princesses after them what year are you on

digressing is a thing that sure happens
that sounds exactly what i was picturing in terms of aj
im going to have to raid the supermarkets supply

Video;

[skilledwithwords]

[She prefers to talk to people face to face which is why a smiling blue haired girl is looking at the screen.]

There is apple juice. Also, I don't know if it will help but you shouldn't worry about what you were doing in your world. It seems like, while we are here, time in our worlds stop or simply time here doesn't work the same.

video;

[stairsbro]

[ oh no she's cute. okay. she can have video. one sunglasses-wearing calm boy for levy ]

So far everyone has confirmed the existence of apples juice and that's all I really needed to know. The priority. ...But that's good to know. I'll have to go investigating that later on this end. If we're running faster or something.

video;

[skilledwithwords]

I don't think time is linear.

[She's been looking into it.]

There are many people from my world here and all from different times and none of us remember the other disappearing for months. I've done a little bit of research on it.

[Levy pulls out a book and places it on her lap. As she moves he might notice the wall of books behind her.]