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Okay. Not gonna lie. I need work.

[He shrugs, still lounging in Gale's apartment as he looks around a bit.] ...I should also probably look into getting my shop back.

Anyway, consider this an open PSA to the Guardians of the cities. In my world, I run a sort of odd jobs agency called Devil May Cry. My primary title is that of Devil Hunter, but I'm also a certified Private Investigator, and have a decent knowledge of archaeology when it comes to ruins and artifacts. So, you have a problem you need solved? Give me a call and if the price is right, you too can have the problem solving skills of yours truly.

[He deflates for a second.] Man, I'm starting to sound like an infomercial...

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[He does think about it for a second and can't help but chuckle a little. He knows that would be incredibly dangerous, but something about some goober on the street picking it up and going 'oooo shiny' just amused Gale.]

At least you specified 'powerful' demons, otherwise I would have asked if that meant there was a load of demon weapons just kind of littering your world because that was just kind of a thing that dead demons did.

[He does tilt his head slightly.]

So does that mean you could turn into some fancy ass weapon if you died or what?

Yeah, the level of power needed to turn into a Devil Arm is pretty significant, and even then it's a crapshoot sometimes.

[He'd love to keep whatever Mundus turned into on a wall to throw darts at from time to time, but, that wasn't to be unfortunately.]

Me? Nah. I'm only half-demon. Devil Arms come from purebloods. What happens to us is far less pretty. A demon of considerable power beats me, I could very well end up being its puppet. Not sure if that's a death thing, or just a Mundus hing though.

Well, that's just lame. And pretty unfair.

[He does seem a little bothered by the whole 'becoming a puppet' thing. Probably because that was essentially what happened to him after his alterna crash. A puppet that still has a sense of free will, sure, but his life did boil down to just being a weapon.]

At least you don't have to worry about that here. Demons seem kinda scarce around here, even from what little I've seen of Everglade. Geez, I'm glad demons don't exist back where I'm from.

[Oh, Gale. If only you knew.]

Eh, I'm pretty sure there are others that have it worse. Heck, I've come across demons who want to live peaceful lives as humans but are too scared to flee their overlords. One guy I met fell in love with a human girl, but was bound to the service of a particularly powerful demon lord. He was summoned into the mortal realm by a butler that served his girlfriend's father.

Said father somehow picked up that the guy was a demon, though the only real power he had was healing magic. I got hired to kill the guy, but thankfully I was able to take out the guy's overlord, the butler, and the two got their happy ending... even if the girl's father still didn't like him even after the guy used his power to save the father's life.

[He shrugs.] My world is far from fair, and everybody gets the shaft at some point or another. I just keep the big ones from running amok.

A demon with healing powers? Huh. Almost seems kinda contradictory.

[Granted, the only stories he ever heard about demons were the typical 'oh no they're so evil' stories so he didn't really get much exposure to them.]

I guess it's kinda silly to say one world's unfair when all of 'em are. Mine sure as hell isn't a shining beacon of human decency and righteousness, that's for sure.

Kinda wish we had someone like you at home. We got a few fallen gods that really need put in their place.

A demon's power reflects its inner heart mainly. I refuse to lay down and die for the demons, so I'm nigh unkillable. This guy was one of the rare ones that didn't want to fight, didn't want to hurt anyone, was just fascinated with how things worked.

[He chuckles.]

I'd be more than happy to give 'em a beating. If you guys could afford it anyway.

[But would likely do it for free because he's just a big softie.]

Huh. So not wanting to fight means healing powers? Weird.

[Weird, but mildly interesting. Especially about the part of Dante being 'nigh unkillable'. Demons seemed like they had the potential of being interesting. He smirks a bit.]

I'd take up poledancing as a side job if it meant hiring you to successfully kick the asses of those damn Cardinals.

[He seems pretty serious about that too. And he doesn't even seem to mind the idea. Probably because he's done it before and he's good at it, but shhh.]

Demons work in weird ways.

[Have an arched eyebrow.]

Cardinals? Like church cardinals? What is it with religion and demonic beings? My last big job I started off by shooting a pope-wannabe in the face. During a sermon. Some militaristic group worshiping my old man as a god. Everyone bowed their heads in prayer, I came crashing through a stained glass window in the roof, and blasted the old geezer right between the eyes after landing on the pulpit.

Man I wish I could've gotten a picture of that.

It must be an awkward day when you're worshiping a dude and then his son comes down and shoots you in the face. If all sermons were like that, I might attend once in a while for the action.

[As amusing as that is, he shakes his head.]

But nah, they aren't those kinds of cardinals. Nothing religious at all about those assholes save for when people worshiped them back in the day. They got their name from the cardinal directions since they're supposed to oversee the different territories. A bird in the south, cat in the west, lizard in the east and a turtle in the north.

[He's being just about as disrespectful towards them as he can be since it's actually phoenix, tiger, dragon and tortoise, but ask him if he cares.]

And then they went crazy. Go figure.

To be fair, mister not-pope woke up ten minutes later. I mean he and his loyal guard had all become "angels".

[BIG air quotes.] Demons of light are still demons.

Huh... sounds like an old Asian legend in my world. ...Minus the going crazy part.

No one ever told me that church is that interesting.

[He arcs an eyebrow, finally shooing Gunner off his back so he can sit up on the floor.]

A legend? Don't tell me that it's actually about a phoenix, tiger, dragon and tortoise.

Eh, not every church worships demons as gods.

[He shrugs.]

I'm not too familiar with Asian mythology. All I know is that there's a legend about the "Saint Beasts" that were supposed to watch over the cardinal directions.

Sure but some gods can certainly be demons.

[Y'know, like the ones he's talking about. Not textbook demons, certainly, but they might as well be.]

Tch, at least the term 'beast' is right. Those four sure as hell aren't saints though. Not with their obsession with genocide.

I'm just not a fan of the term "god". Unless you're making universes with the snap of a finger... there's always something bigger out there.

Must be why Celveryians preferred using the term 'deity' over 'god.' Granted, I saw the Cardinals as stuck-up asshole crybabies but not everyone's gonna spit in the face of something that can kill you like we do.

[That's one thing he loves about you, Dante. You're at least as crazy as he is. Though probably crazier. Gale would totally take up demon hunting if he could though.]

Eh, same thing. Though I would think that hiding behind semantics just proves they aren't as great and powerful as they think they are.

[He laughs a bit.] Thing is, I've yet to find something that could kill me.

They aren't, no doubt. They're still one of the biggest threats in the world, sure, but they also became terrified when their most important weapon was stolen from them. Funny that their own weapon is that big a threat to them. They had to go so far as to make me pose as it to throw the rest of the world off of its trail.

[He gives a small laugh of his own.]

Let's hope you don't find anything that can do that then, eh? It'd be a shame if the world lost something that good looking.

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