five ticks; text

[stairsbro]

ok so ive been told my opinion is totally legit about all things always
so here is a short ass review of places around the cities

genessia places

amagi inn - i havent actually stayed here but its japanese themed as fuck so i bet the doors slide and are possibly paper 4/5

jardin of floss - idk how to pronounce the french for this one terra how does that go but ok heres the review basically its got some of the best flowers ever but the sales person isnt as good as the one in attleton 5/5

pans grocery - stocks apple juice and is a grocery store as in the name theres no pupa in here i doubt he owns it or that one goat god with the flute 5/5

schnee company - so weiss is in fact not a hologram but youre not going to get proof of that because chances are youre never going to see that girl ever in there shes way too fucking busy to stop being schrodingers weiss but other than that theyre totally helpful and this is actually p good for newbies so 5/5

teanie teas - the cups are not in fact teanie which is a good thing see more bang for your buck idk what the leaf water rates as on a scale of great leaf water to shit leaf water so someone else is going to need to step in here but its warm and smells nice in there so 3/5

bright sky dinner - the food is ok the main appeal is the fact that its go this really shitty jukebox from your wet hipster dreams the weird 30s esque jazz cover of the titanic theme is worth a listen 4/5

genessia arts theater - see sometimes its got like shit shows and then other times nathans acting it up with his acting face and then other times its screening my movie like i should win some kind of indie award wtf 2-5/5

kame game - did you know ghostbusters had a board game?? neither did i but they sure as shit had it and like fifty different versions of hungry hippos 5/5

sametobi - its hot as shit so get your swim on they give free lessons which is p sweet there and everyones hot 4.8/5

shrine - jokes on all yall the universe is actually a frog go wrap your head around that one 3/5

paper flowers - this place sells paper stuff i got a 500 pack of colored pencils for a pretty good price and got some stuff to make nice labels for my mixtape 4/5

hospital - it sucks to be in a hospital -314/5

library - ok so like its got books its what youd expect from the library its pretty quiet in there which is unsettling but its a library idk what to say about this other than that the librarian has a rad accent and the bistro is a douchebag lookin at you nathan 5/5

tomes and thaumaturgy - fyi thaumaturgy is basically just a fancy fucking word for magic so as expected this place has books on that unlike the library you can keep these books forever after participating in capitalism i think a pokemon runs the front desk but levy is in there somewhere and i vaguely remember her not sucking 4.9/5

cats eye cafe - this isnt one of those cat cafes but it totally should be 1.5/5


nova places

schnee company - here we are again kids shes fucking everywhere but no where to be seen how much money do you think this place produces i think it might be employing a shit load of people this is the entire economy anyway so the one over here gives you a rundown of tech shit and is basically google 5/5

funtum co - yo its candy and toys that look kinda old school im stocking up on rabbits whats not to like about that 5/5 hell yeah

planetarium - not an accurate depiction of space trust me i am an astronaut but still pretty cool 3/5

revocs - walk walk fashion baby 5/5

after life - this is a nightclub i havent actually gone in but i tried to once but they were like youre too little and we got titties out right now which is bull maybe i want to see exotic dancers im immortal wtf you questioning my age for 2/5

nakiba - you have not eaten food until you have eaten food at this place holy shit you are missing out on a life experience everything you have been eating is garbage you are a disgrace for not trying to get a reservation you sick non-nakiba customer what the fuck is wrong with you infinity/5

puzzled - where can i play that motorcycle game from tron tho ?? 2/5

figuring fables - i think you can get your d&d dice here but some of those figures are creepy as fuck 2/5???

aprhodites something something arcade - rad as hell arcade im holding the top score on their ddr machine just try and beat that also i guess theres like some matchmaking stuff in there so the green haired chick could hook you up with a player 2 nice nice or would be nice i havent tried the services but i APPARENTLY got signed up for them JEFF 4/5


attleton

jardin verdoyant - hands down the best flowers of all time anywhere ever the end and the dude at the front counter is super awesome and attractive too like wowee what a guy i wanna buy like forty thousand fucking flowers from him this place is the best ever 500/5

yukihara - i cant figure out what this place actually sells but it smells like wood in there 2/5

sweet treats - you came in here for the hot blond with the huge smile didnt you just admit it that guy is fucking sunshine you bet thats a sweet treat ha ha wow wtf am i saying ok so dude aside they change their theme every month so you gotta keep checking in to see if its as good as last month they know how to draw customers in good job guys 5/5

dogs paw cafe - lacking in dogs -2/5

whatevfur - not lacking in dogs look at all these fucking dogs god damn theres a lot of them jade come look at these dogs with me 4/5

garden bistro - the wine guy looks like billy idol and we shot the shit talking about music it was awesome idk about the place itself tho i guess its okay yeah sure 5/5 why not


fayreon & everglade

nah fuck that


on an unrelated note heres a new jam
feel(alive).mp3 - also titled "in memoriam to the shades"
check it
you can hire me to dj your parties or whatever

Comments

[offwithhishat]

1. Florissant is hardly difficult to pronounce or write.
2. "Leaf water" is the most offensive thing you've ever said.
3. Stop calling me Jeff.

[stairsbro]

1) flo-riss-ant ??
2) are you telling me you dont make it out of leaves and water
3) you brought that on yourself jeff
now youre jeff
because i have to go on a weird blind date at some point
fucking ask me if im ok with that
hint im totally not jeff
what did i ever do to you to deserve you sabotaging my relationship

[offwithhishat]

1. No.
2. It's more involved than that.
3. I'm sorry? I didn't know you were with someone. I thought it would do you good to get out and do something is all.

[stairsbro]

1) or yes that might be a better way to say it
2) is it or is it not leaves and water
3) wtf i do things
you dont know my life

[offwithhishat]

1. Take it up with Terra then.
2. I just told you it's more than that.
3. Considering that we live together I think I know a few things about your life, but don't go if you don't want to.

[stairsbro]

you make tea sound like its some fucking ten ingredient chemistry thing
and im not going

is that cheating if im just seeing who i get
im kinda curious now

[offwithhishat]

It is if you want it to taste good.

Are you going or not? Make up your mind.

We're dropping the numbers? It was way easier to keep up with you that way.

[stairsbro]

complicated leaf water then

idk no im not
im just
i dont know hed probably do it just to see
then wed go laugh about how horrible the completely nonromantic dates were
i mean its been four months three weeks six d
a while
since i ended up here
so if i didnt like
do something besides work ??
id be a massive disappointment

[offwithhishat]

[ Part of him had been under the assumption that Dave was rambling more than being some degree of open about an actual relationship, but the way he kept talking about it made him realize that his assumption had been false. ]

What do you think he'd tell you to do?

[ He felt guilty for putting Dave in the situation. He really did. It had been ignorant to think he didn't have someone just because it hadn't been brought up. It was none of his business in the bigger picture of things but he pursued the issue because it seemed to have created some kind of internal conflict for Dave. A conflict which was his fault. He felt obliged to try to fix it. ]

If it makes you feel any better, Airy put me on the spot too.

[ Maybe knowing that would help? Make him laugh? He didn't know. ]

[stairsbro]

to stop being such a fucking wriggler about it probably
but then actually be upset if i was all for it
its kind of hypocritical of me to even consider
ive never been down with the quadrant thing
so dating other people even in a platonic sense would be a massive violation of prior claims
but then again maybe not
because it was never official
at all
everyone just assumed
so we collectively shrugged in response
and this is just a huge joke probably
and ill end up having dinner with terra or something

[offwithhishat]

[ He inhaled sharply. This was all way more than he had anticipated. ]

You don't owe me that much of an explanation, Dave. Whatever you decide to do is a choice I can't help you make, but I'm sorry I dropped you into this mess. I was inconsiderate.

[stairsbro]

nah its fine
its
funny or whatever
setting people up on blind dates is funny
especially when the date is gross and the worst
then you can laugh about it later
but i guess im just kinda not okay with the fact that
my first date ever is going to probably be a disaster
fuck what if this person steals my lip virginity
blegh

[offwithhishat]

I'm having a hard time believing you think any of this is funny.

Most first dates ever are disasters. If you don't want to be kissed then just sneeze on them.

[stairsbro]

no its hilarious
youre making me realize my relationship was a sham

have you sneezed on many dates