five ticks; text

[stairsbro]

ok so ive been told my opinion is totally legit about all things always
so here is a short ass review of places around the cities

genessia places

amagi inn - i havent actually stayed here but its japanese themed as fuck so i bet the doors slide and are possibly paper 4/5

jardin of floss - idk how to pronounce the french for this one terra how does that go but ok heres the review basically its got some of the best flowers ever but the sales person isnt as good as the one in attleton 5/5

pans grocery - stocks apple juice and is a grocery store as in the name theres no pupa in here i doubt he owns it or that one goat god with the flute 5/5

schnee company - so weiss is in fact not a hologram but youre not going to get proof of that because chances are youre never going to see that girl ever in there shes way too fucking busy to stop being schrodingers weiss but other than that theyre totally helpful and this is actually p good for newbies so 5/5

teanie teas - the cups are not in fact teanie which is a good thing see more bang for your buck idk what the leaf water rates as on a scale of great leaf water to shit leaf water so someone else is going to need to step in here but its warm and smells nice in there so 3/5

bright sky dinner - the food is ok the main appeal is the fact that its go this really shitty jukebox from your wet hipster dreams the weird 30s esque jazz cover of the titanic theme is worth a listen 4/5

genessia arts theater - see sometimes its got like shit shows and then other times nathans acting it up with his acting face and then other times its screening my movie like i should win some kind of indie award wtf 2-5/5

kame game - did you know ghostbusters had a board game?? neither did i but they sure as shit had it and like fifty different versions of hungry hippos 5/5

sametobi - its hot as shit so get your swim on they give free lessons which is p sweet there and everyones hot 4.8/5

shrine - jokes on all yall the universe is actually a frog go wrap your head around that one 3/5

paper flowers - this place sells paper stuff i got a 500 pack of colored pencils for a pretty good price and got some stuff to make nice labels for my mixtape 4/5

hospital - it sucks to be in a hospital -314/5

library - ok so like its got books its what youd expect from the library its pretty quiet in there which is unsettling but its a library idk what to say about this other than that the librarian has a rad accent and the bistro is a douchebag lookin at you nathan 5/5

tomes and thaumaturgy - fyi thaumaturgy is basically just a fancy fucking word for magic so as expected this place has books on that unlike the library you can keep these books forever after participating in capitalism i think a pokemon runs the front desk but levy is in there somewhere and i vaguely remember her not sucking 4.9/5

cats eye cafe - this isnt one of those cat cafes but it totally should be 1.5/5


nova places

schnee company - here we are again kids shes fucking everywhere but no where to be seen how much money do you think this place produces i think it might be employing a shit load of people this is the entire economy anyway so the one over here gives you a rundown of tech shit and is basically google 5/5

funtum co - yo its candy and toys that look kinda old school im stocking up on rabbits whats not to like about that 5/5 hell yeah

planetarium - not an accurate depiction of space trust me i am an astronaut but still pretty cool 3/5

revocs - walk walk fashion baby 5/5

after life - this is a nightclub i havent actually gone in but i tried to once but they were like youre too little and we got titties out right now which is bull maybe i want to see exotic dancers im immortal wtf you questioning my age for 2/5

nakiba - you have not eaten food until you have eaten food at this place holy shit you are missing out on a life experience everything you have been eating is garbage you are a disgrace for not trying to get a reservation you sick non-nakiba customer what the fuck is wrong with you infinity/5

puzzled - where can i play that motorcycle game from tron tho ?? 2/5

figuring fables - i think you can get your d&d dice here but some of those figures are creepy as fuck 2/5???

aprhodites something something arcade - rad as hell arcade im holding the top score on their ddr machine just try and beat that also i guess theres like some matchmaking stuff in there so the green haired chick could hook you up with a player 2 nice nice or would be nice i havent tried the services but i APPARENTLY got signed up for them JEFF 4/5


attleton

jardin verdoyant - hands down the best flowers of all time anywhere ever the end and the dude at the front counter is super awesome and attractive too like wowee what a guy i wanna buy like forty thousand fucking flowers from him this place is the best ever 500/5

yukihara - i cant figure out what this place actually sells but it smells like wood in there 2/5

sweet treats - you came in here for the hot blond with the huge smile didnt you just admit it that guy is fucking sunshine you bet thats a sweet treat ha ha wow wtf am i saying ok so dude aside they change their theme every month so you gotta keep checking in to see if its as good as last month they know how to draw customers in good job guys 5/5

dogs paw cafe - lacking in dogs -2/5

whatevfur - not lacking in dogs look at all these fucking dogs god damn theres a lot of them jade come look at these dogs with me 4/5

garden bistro - the wine guy looks like billy idol and we shot the shit talking about music it was awesome idk about the place itself tho i guess its okay yeah sure 5/5 why not


fayreon & everglade

nah fuck that


on an unrelated note heres a new jam
feel(alive).mp3 - also titled "in memoriam to the shades"
check it
you can hire me to dj your parties or whatever

Comments

[orlokbutterfly]

[He couldn't help but be amused at that commentary about his club.]

Glad to know my bouncers are doing their job right at least

but I mean, if you're really an over 18 immortal, I can leave a note to staff to let you in late

or you could, you know, go in at literally any point in the other 18 hours of the day that we're open

[stairsbro]

yes i am old
anything you heard otherwise is a fucking lie
i am as old as time itself
old as balls
but lookin hella fine still

ok but that just ruins the challenge

[fierybluebird]

4/5 Need more cowbell.

[stairsbro]

get a better meme

[offwithhishat]

1. Florissant is hardly difficult to pronounce or write.
2. "Leaf water" is the most offensive thing you've ever said.
3. Stop calling me Jeff.

[stairsbro]

1) flo-riss-ant ??
2) are you telling me you dont make it out of leaves and water
3) you brought that on yourself jeff
now youre jeff
because i have to go on a weird blind date at some point
fucking ask me if im ok with that
hint im totally not jeff
what did i ever do to you to deserve you sabotaging my relationship

text;

[imaginationswoes]

I'm going to definitely make sure that Nathan sees this.

:p

I didn't know you were such a Fan Boy Dave.
I also didn't know you worked at a flower shop. I'll try and stop by! Flowers are cool and it's funny that you and Jefferson work at the same sort of place. It's like you're father and son with so much in common.

:3
It's cute.

text;

[stairsbro]

what
what are you talking about
what was a fan boying in there
oh yeah i do work there its okay
come in get your flower on your apartment reeks of smoke kind of and it should smell like pretty flowers instead
man i still need to tell him off about that
how the fuck did that not come up until recently
terra told me
and im like wtf
shes paying half our bills
father and son ??
oh
i guess
lets not go assigning parental roles here

thats the second fucking person saying cute at me wtf

Text;

[skilledwithwords]

It does mean magic but I really like alteration and Robin let me name the store. I do have book stores in Fayren and Everglade too.

It isn't so bad, you should stop by. I bet I can find something for you that you'd enjoy.

Text;

[stairsbro]

you work with robin now
robin was pretty boss
i am not even surprised you have magic book stores in those freak shows

yeah ok
i mean your place seems more of my sisters thing
shed buy like half your store
but ill come in
mission get dave more reading material is a go

Text;

[highprices]

You're cute and I thoroughly enjoyed reading all of these reviews. You should stop by After Life and say hello sometime. I'd love to meet and not just because I work there.

It sounds like you have a good head on your shoulders and I'm interested in hearing more.

Text;

[stairsbro]

how did you get cute from this
uh
ok
what do you do there
yeah sure
whats not to love about my opinions theyre obviously the most legit ones in this place
i can state some more

text;

[callmeimouto]

wow. You really took my advice.

But I think this is some good stuff. Good job Dave

text;

[stairsbro]

weird right
its not like i value your suggestions or anything
i know
thanks

text;

[thorons]

[...oh... a 4.9 for her shop. well! she thought that was a good mark, but she's kind of curious-]

Ah, thank you for the review of mine and Levy's shop! But I have to ask... what would have made my shop a 5/5?

text;

[stairsbro]

an actual pokemon

text;

[gastronomics]

Yes, we got the best rating~!

I bought groceries and made you some meals in tupperware for the next couple of days.

text;

[stairsbro]

what
the house has food in it ???
holy shit
you are my favorite

text;

[namemeansbeauty]

Rad accent? I assume that is a good thing, right?

text;

[stairsbro]

yeah
like awesome
but better
cause its a natural coolness
you were born that way
you cant achieve rad
you just have it

text;

[pinklight]

Do you like dogs?

text;

[stairsbro]

jade likes dogs
i dont not like jade

text;

[truesmiles]

You know, you just gave me an idea to actually have a cat cafe.

text;

[stairsbro]

ha ha yes
make it hapen

Text

[the_heroine]

You know for the 500+ packs of colored pencils you were supposed to get a coupon for a free purchase up to 30 redbills?

Text

[stairsbro]

wait what
really

Audio

[filchedfruit]

[ He sucks at typing, so isn't even trying. He's not that great with reading either.]

Fayren has horses, and unicorns.

Audio

[stairsbro]

And horrifying puppet cops. Pass.

text;

[fragrantic]

[ is that one Attleton shop Yukihira's place? ]

Don't feed Nakiri's ego too much, she has so much of it already. [ It's obvious that Alice will be pleased with the infinity rating. Granted, Nakiba's food is good (just not as good as Akira's), he knows that. ]

Shouldn't you try a place before you comment on it, though?

text;

[stairsbro]

she feeds me
i feed the ego
win win

probably
those are some great reviews still