log

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Who Blake and YOU
What Training and tattoos, multiple scenarios
When Afternoon
Where Genessia
Warning n/a, slight mentions of Battler but nothing graphic or trigger inducing - will update if that changes





a) Genessia, Outskirts
Blake focused on the clone in front of her,a bead of sweat rolling down her forehead. It flickered and she gritted her teeth. She was trying to make it to a minute. At least a minute, before it faded. She had done it when her back was against the wall. She could do it again. She tried to make another and the minute the second appeared the other faded.

She let out a shout of frustration and sank to her knees. Why couldn't she get it? She had done it before. Did she literally have to have her life hanging in the balance to be able to push herself again? She wiped the sweat off of her face roughly as though it was the rivulets of water dripping down her face that were to blame. She got up and retrieved her water bottle from under a nearby tree.

As far as anyone knew, Blake was out book hunting. And she would after this. So it wasn't a complete lie. She just didn't want anybody treating her like she was too fragile to train. She had been out of the hospital a week. Besides, it also gave her some alone time to focus her mind. Ever since she had got back she had these weird bouts of both wanting to be around people and then suddenly wanting the be far away from them

She gulped her water, a breeze lifting her dark hair. Then she stood and got ready to go at it again

b) Window Shopping for tatoos!

Blake stood with her face buried in a book - not a novel for once. An art book. It was any idea she had been toying with for a while. She got tired of flinching every time she saw that ugly brand on her arm. It wasn't just the memory. It was the idea that that demon had changed something, altered something on her own body without her permission. Every time she saw it her stomach twisted in anger. Not just because of what he did, but because she knew that her reaction was probably the exact reason he marked her.

She could probably find someone who knew how to get rid of it. But something about a tattoo just seemed...how could she explain it? Like another permanent mark, she supposed, but one she'd put there hereself. One that would symbolize that there was something better in the world than the horror she'd survived.

Maybe she's look at it , think it over. She had not even told Yang this yet.

c) freestyle/choose your own adventure

Comments

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"Oh, so then Battler wouldn't be psycho if only you weren't here. Yes. That makes sense." Blake's voice was flat and dry. She knew she was not being patient. But it was hard to be when she was dragging around her own baggage. She had, in truth, not really dealt with what happened.

But when Weiss says what she says about not feeling she explodes, "You wish you felt like this?! You think it would fix anything? I attacked Koishi earlier today, Weiss, just because she surprised me. If she'd have been anyone else, I might have killed them. I'm thinking about not going back. Because I don't know if it'll be Yang I attack next time. Or you. I know exactly how you feel about Battler because I feel that way about Adam. Or did. I don't know. Even if I don't love him now I loved him once. And it feels horrible, maybe it's even the worst feeling in the world, but if you feel something you can at least deal with it. I feel like I am dead. But it doesn't make me feel safe."

[whiteas]

"I know he would! I know, but if I was dead it would be over for me. Which is stupid and selfish and I hate myself for it but I don't want to keep fighting! I want everything to stop. I wish I had stayed dead and I know that doesn't make sense because it doesn't make sense to me so stop trying to make it make sense!"

Weiss's voice wasn't flat like Blake's. She was practically screaming her words. It conflicted with her actions, she knew. It was the opposite of everything she'd said in her post. There was no part of her that felt strong, that felt like what she was doing was going to make any difference anymore.

Weiss stands up finally and reaches for her hip, drawing Myrtenaster and taking a step back from Blake. In hindsight, it was probably the stupidest idea she'd ever had to bring a weapon with her when she was feeling this way.

"Attack me! See if you can kill me. If you don't, then we'll move like you said, and just.. start fresh, and we can go on hating ourselves and I'll keep wishing everything would just be quiet and you can keep wishing it was loud, but you'll know even if you attack me I'm not so weak that I can't at least hold you off. I'll know I can keep showing everyone that I'm trying and maybe I'll start to believe it myself. If you do kill me, maybe I won't have to wake up tomorrow to this place where everyone I care about leaves and forgets me over and over and that's the happy ending I have to look forward to here because the only other options are dying or forgetting myself- which are practically the same thing. At the very least I figure that should help you feel something other than numb."

Weiss didn't really plan on dying. As much as she felt terrible, she knew better. She knew that she had at least a thing or two to keep fighting for, even if she couldn't change how she felt. She had two years on Blake that everyone seemed to forget about that she hasn't been slacking on training during and she had a lot of altered techniques-- things her team hadn't even seen her fight with because they hadn't fought side-by-side since getting here. They were barely a team so much as a handful of girls who didn't know how to keep moving forward together anymore. Weiss didn't know how to fix that, or if it was worth fixing, but even she knew that losing this fight wouldn't help.

What she did know was what Dracula had taught her when he was trying to help her with her summoning, misguided an attempt as it had been: the one moment when any living being with a will to live can feel more strongly than anything else is the last moment before it thinks it may die. It hadn't been her plan, it'd been more of a kneejerk reaction fueled by the intense anger and need to hurt something that had been building up inside Weiss since that day, but maybe it would help. Nothing else seemed like it would, so maybe for a second she can help Blake feel something. Maybe some part of Weiss can feel like she's still capable of helping anyone if she can.

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She did not want to hear any of this. Blake knew it was terrible and that she was terrible for thinking it, but since Beacon it had been one thing after another. And here, she had gotten back with her friends, maybe not as a full team but on speaking terms, on terms of not being afraid to go near them and here she was full circle again.

At that beach party with Yang had been the happiest she had ever been in a long time and now she didn't know if she'd ever feel that way again. And it was only a matter of time before the blond figured out just how much of Blake's 'okay-ness' she was faking because Blake couldn't tell her the truth, couldn't do that to her. She'd just gotten her arm back!

And now Weiss was standing here trying to get her to kill her. Didn't she hear her when she'd told her what she'd nearly done to Koi? Or had Weiss forgotton that they were in same boat in regard to the rules to this world? She hadn't even heard a peep from Ruby which was unusual and disturbing.

She glared at the Schnee girl. "In our condition neither of us should fight anyone and in your mental state, who knows? You'd probably lose. But use someone else to be your tool."

She's gotten enough of being used as weapon before coming to Beacon, thanks.

[whiteas]

Weiss closed her eyes while Blake spoke, not lowering her weapon. She took a deep breath, trying to calm her tone. Nothing she felt was changing just because Blake had rejected her idea, but Blake was taking this.. in a very different way than Weiss had meant.

"I think I've got two more years experience fighting and training than you while we're here and my mental state trusts you not to kill me even if I lose, even in yours. You could never be my tool, Blake, no matter how I feel. Besides, most of what I remember is you yelling for me to run. I don't think you could kill me if you had me on my back without a weapon and no aura. Definitely not without trying. I may not.. feel right and things are coming out of my mouth that I can't- I don't know how to stop feeling this way, I may wish for those things and not want them at the same time. I don't know, but that doesn't mean I think you'll actually do it."

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"And what if I don't have to try, what if it just happens!" Blake protested. "What if while we're attacking each other I start to remember things and I get so angry that I can't stop? Then what? Maybe you'll get your wish. Or not. Either way, I'd have to deal with the fact that you're dead and I have become the animal he called me!"

She clenched her fists. Anger was one of the things she did still feel off and on and when she did it was terrible. She wanted to hit Weiss right now. And that was exactly why it was a bad idea.

[whiteas]

"Because I trust you. You're not an animal, Blake. He's a monster, you aren't. You might hurt me, but you won't kill me."

Weiss didn't know what else to do. Sharing her feelings, as bad as they were, wasn't going to help Blake. It wasn't going to help her. Blake had already made it clear that Weiss's feelings weren't acceptable, so Weiss was going to at least try to do what she could. It would be lying to say that she didn't want to get lost in the violence but trying was one of the few things Weiss was good at, whether she failed or succeeded or made things worse. At least she tried.

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Well, you shouldn't," she retorted.

She hadn't just reacted out of fear when she had nearly skewered Koishi. She had reacted out of anger and wanting to hurt someone for trying to hurt her. She wasn't saying she would have killed.

She also wasn't sure she wouldn't have. In that moment that she had struck, she had been so angry, she'd have done anything not to be taken again and tied up and....she swallowed.

She closed her eyes and pushed her feelings back. She both wanted to feel and didn't. Without them she was empty, but when they came back she wasn't sure who she'd be. What if she became something like Adam? She couldn't bare that.

[whiteas]

"Well I do."

Weiss wasn't sure how much that meant to Blake, or anyone else right now. She knew her judgment of character was apparently questionable at best nowadays. There weren't many people she was confident in her trust of nowadays, but Blake was one of them.

Weiss lowered her sword slightly, looking to the side. She didn't know what to do. She'd been hoping Blake would really fight her, but if the other girl doesn't want to, she's not going to attack her anyway.

"I'm sorry for what I said. Not the trusting you part, just.. everything else."

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"You feel how you feel,"Blake replied. "At least you know yourself well enough to."

Blake wasn't sure what she was going to do with herself. She wasn't even sure if she should return home. That would hurt Yang. But not as bad her accidentally hurting Yang would. Despite what Weiss said, Blake didn't trust herself at all right now.

[whiteas]

She knew herself. He had made her doubt and dislike who that person was, but yes. Weiss knew herself because she knew what it was like not to know herself thanks to her father. She had spent her time at Beacon finding that person. That person turned out to be the kind of person who couldn't see what was in front of her face and couldn't fight through a knife behind her back. But she didn't say those words, instead just giving Weiss a sad look.

"I know you too, Blake." But Blake wasn't hearing her arguing, was she? Weiss shook her head, trying to think. She reached up and pushed some of her hair back, the strands not staying as well-put as they did when she had it in her normal hairstyle. "If you're that worried, spar in Attleton's Colosseum, not Genessia City. If you kill someone there, it doesn't stick. There's no consequences, they walk out the same time you do with no injuries no matter how bad it gets. If you're worried, practice there until you can control yourself again. Would that help?"

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"I....I guess I could spend some time there," she replied finally.

It was the practical solution. And typical of Weiss to be practical even when the other girl was dealing with her own mess.

"What will you do in the mean time?"

She didn't know how to help Weiss. Or Jaune. Or anyone. She just knew how to act stronger than she was and hope people believed it.

[whiteas]

Weiss tried to be practical, even if it took her a little while to get there sometimes. She shakes her head in response to Blake's question, followed by a tiny shrug.

"Try to talk to the others. Not breakdown in front of them, as a general goal. Hopefully make it back to Nova City soon and pretend like I know what I'm doing because there's no one else to do it. Maybe get Sun a fruit basket on the way home, in more immediate ideas."