Helloooooo Genessia [video/action]

[chicken_kun]

VIDEO

[With absolutely zero apologies to anyone who sees this, Bartolomeo spends the first 30 seconds of the video feed looking into the camera with a dubious expression and picking his nose. Just. Placidly staring, digging for gold. Enjoy the prolonged video study of his fangs, nose ring, goth makeup, and bright fucking neon green hair. Best first impression ever.

When he gets bored of that, his finger drops and he just bares his fangs into the phone's camera.]

This is stupid. Get a job? Hah! Jobs are for losers. And this jewelry is ugly. I'm so over this place, look at it. This little town is way too pretty. [he grins widely] It needs a special touch, I think. Maybe it's time for a new Barto Club, eh?

[he drops the video away and forgets to turn it off right away, so for a moment it just swings wildly back and forth in his fist as he walks. In the process of this vertigo-inducing view, it also picks up his last mutter to himself:]

Ain't as much fun if Luffy-senpai isn't around. Che. Ugly-ass town, no ocean, nothin'...

ACTION

[Bartolomeo is not at all interested in going to the employment office or getting an apartment. No, first he wants to have a look around, and even though he really did read the pamphlets and maps - which are now hanging out of his pants, shoved in his belt - none of that shit matters at the moment. Without his ship, his crew, his bounty, and his beloved great captain Luffy to follow after (that he knows of), he's been left adrift. His dream of sailing as a member of the Pirate King's fleet, put on hold. His purpose for getting stronger, derailed. Oh well, there's always mob work to fall back on. A pretty place like this just deserves to be torn apart at the seams by a gang or ten.

Barty can be found sauntering lazily along any street, hands in his pockets, insulting people at random, spitting on the sidewalk, flipping the finger at vehicles who honk at him for jaywalking, trying on clothes but never buying them, and overall being a nuisance.

By evening, though, he's hungry and bored and looking for a bar with good bar food and beer. Help a pirate out, man!]

Comments

[chicken_kun]

Well, I'm not, so I think I'm just gonna go do what I want!

[no idea that he's sassing another Marine, not like it would make a lot of difference]

[soru]

[ life is truly hard for the hard-working of the navy. ]

I had a feeling you would say that.

What if I said 'please'?

[chicken_kun]

Let me think about it hmm.....NOPE.

[ugh he was on such good behavior around Luffy, it feels good to let his jerk muscles stretch]

[soru]

[ it's so much harder to do his job when he technically doesn't have it here.

heck. ]

Oh, no. Whatever am I to do.

[ tries to sound regretful about it. ain't happening. ]

I guess I will have no choice but to look on in despair.

[chicken_kun]

That's right! [wait, what?] You're a weird one, whoever you are. Not sure if that's a good thing or a bad thing.

[soru]

Let's call it a societal anomaly and leave it at that.

[chicken_kun]

Yeah I'll call it weird. You're weird. Weirdo!

[Barty has no good comebacks for people with larger vocabularies]

[soru]

Oh no. How mean of you.

[ maybe baiting a notorious bandit-turned-pirate isn't the best idea, but the amount of darns he had to spend was depleted earlier in the week. tough luck. ]

[chicken_kun]

[it's no fun when they deadpan! Bartolomeo loves getting a rise out of people, so when they counter him this way, it takes the wind out of his sails. He gnashes his teeth a bit, trying to figure out what to do next.]

What do you want, then, weirdo? Why're you callin' me if you're not gonna play along?

[soru]

Oh, Bartolomeo the Cannibal, don't you know I just adore your voice?

[ it's like discovering a new sport. a dangerous new sport. much like cow-tipping in a field of bulls. ]

[chicken_kun]

[well that changes things. The fact that he didn't just introduce himself on the phone was not an accident.]

Oi, oi. Throwing around my name like that, I might start to think you're one of my fans? Yahoo, I have fans! Maybe Cabbage would like to hear that I'm popular just like him?

[soru]

With someone as memorable as you? I'm surprised you don't have more.

[ honestly with someone as colourful as you, it's surprising that your followers are limited to one gang so far. god help them all when you actually learn how to sail proper. ]

[chicken_kun]

[god help the world when the Straw Hat Grand Fleet becomes known, thanks to this asshole]

Then if you know my name and what the Marines call me, that means you're from the same world. Yeah? You keep up with famous pirates and their bounties?

[soru]

I sure do. All bounties currently in circulation and up to date.

[ it is his job. ]

[chicken_kun]

[and then, out of nowhere...]

Then you saw when Luffy-senpai's went up to five hundred million, RIGHT? ISN'T THAT THE COOLEST THING EVER?!

1/2

[soru]

[ no. no.





his weakness ]

[soru]

After his involvement in the Dressrosa incident? It's only natural.

[ excitement building. must control. keep it i n ]

[chicken_kun]

[FELLOW FANBOY PLEASE]

I know, right? I was there! I saw everything! All of our bounties went up after that, of course, but his went through the roof. He deserves it, he did something incredible!

[soru]

You were there? Like right there?

[ a source of details, oh my gracious ]

[chicken_kun]

Right there right there, yeah, yeah! I was with him in the coliseum, I even helped him and Trafalgar get up to the palace to go after Doflamingo! It was epic.

[soru]

Of course he'd go straight to the heart of the matter. [ reducing to high-pitched teenager in 0.5 seconds. ]

Did you see how he did it? What was it like?

[chicken_kun]

I only saw a little out of the corner of my eye, I was kinda knee-deep in shit at the time. See, Doflamingo did this bird-cage kinda thing with his strings and I put up a barrier and...ugh, it was crazy. I thought we were all gonna die. But then I look over my shoulder and he's up there lookin' like a big haki-covered monster, zipping all around and bulldozing his way through the fluffy pink asshole. It was so cool! Luffy-senpai was the only one who could've done it, I just know it!

[soru]

[ no record of bounce man exists on navy file as of yet. this is New. oh man oh god oh man oh god ]

Isn't it amazing how quickly he's mastered haki? To think that he could utilize it in battle to that kind of effect is-- it's amazing!

[ uwooaaaaah ]

[chicken_kun]

[Barty just might be wibbling already, sniffling a bit]

It is, exactly! I was moved to tears. He punched Doflamingo so hard it left a huge crater! Knocked him clear underground! I was a couple miles away and I still felt the shockwave! And he saved all of us, he's my hero! [yep, full sobbing now. Thanks Coby]

[soru]

[ it's ok bro, he gets it, he feels u. ]

He beat Doflamingo's birdcage. [ ohhh my god ] If he-- then he'd be the first person ever to do that! The navy has no records of anything like it previous!

[ he's sounding giddy that's how bad it is ]

That you got to witness it, even at a distance-- you're so lucky, Bartolomeo-san!