[it's dark, it's night, and the camera is set up on the edge of a wall to get a full view of a dork who looks like he's wearing sedate normal clothing, but...really, he's not. His normal outfit would be the harlequin pants and feather-trimmed coat. This dark suit and the fedora perched precariously on his mohawk? Totally a costume. Thanks Fayren for making him into a mafia don from another culture.

Bartolomeo also looks exceedingly proud of himself, perhaps because his fingers are crossed.]

Isn't this a fucking blast?? This is great! I haven't gotten so much action since the shitty spirit thing - and everyone was so freaked out and morose about that it wasn't half as fun. This, though? This is awesome!

[he says as a mishmash of movie monsters - ye olde werewolf, mummy, and vampire complete with high-collared cape - charge at him from behind and smash face-first into a translucent barrier they didn't see ahead of time. Barty just laughs his damn ass off.]

Every night is a party! This is so much fun! Smashing the monsters to bits with my barrier, it's great! I dunno what you're all so scared of. Come on out and have some fun with me!

[action-wise, if anyone wants to encounter the Bari-Bari human - to be saved, to fight alongside him, or to lecture him about being out past curfew fighting monsters and having way too much fun doing so - he's in Genessia City every night during the Halloween party. He may not always be in his mafia costume, he might also be in his normal harlequin pants. Enjoy.]

Hey everyone. [grin and peace sign] It seems like it's gonna be a great night for a party, huh? The wind's right and I think the moon is gonna look awesome tonight. Anyone is welcome to come to a bonfire and booze night at the beach in Fayren. Bring food if you got it but I'm going to be fishing and hunting-- so if you want anything, let me know.

We could use music too! So bring instruments or get ready to sing!

[then with another grin he'll end the feed]

[Ace can be found hunting in Fayren or fishing. Otherwise he's gathering wood for an enormous bonfire-- with a trunk or five of booze nearby and plenty of big creatures to roast. It's just that kinda night]

[Dorian smiles and gives a quaint wave a greeting before he addresses the network. His surroundings are smaller, not the modern trappings of his own office, but the stone masoned and naturally lit walls of his office at Fairy Tail.]

Good afternoon, everyone. I'd like to talk, today, about Time and, more specifically, the record thereof. You see, through quite a bit of research I'll not bore you with, I've determined the calendar utilized here correlates well enough with my own. The 10th month of the calendar used by Genessia and its environs began yesterday, at midnight. It is referred to as 'October'. In my own world, Frumentum or as it's referred to by the common folk "Harvestmere" will be beginning in roughly two days time. We have 12 months, divided into 30 days each. If Genessia continues on a path consistent with its previous course, its calendar year consists of 365 days, save for every 4th year, when some brilliant scholar ages ago realized they were losing time and devised a rough patching that's consisted into the present day. I've of course not been around here long enough to have experienced this mythical "leap year", but Genessia's calendar, along with many of its residents, seem to hail for "Earth". It's the "Roman" calendar, which is a rather interesting topic in regards to both Earth and Thedas, but, well...

[He clears his throat, turning his gaze to an open journal before him.] I digress grossly.

Last month on Thedas, we began the month with the Annum "All Souls Day", and it would seem there are several similar holidays at the end of this Genessian month. I've read about several of them, but I'm curious what your traditions are. In Thedas, the holiday is rather dour. We dress as ghosts and parade about at midnight, very sad. We don't even get a feast! What do you do?

( Private to Hawke )

[ Viewers are treated to the sight of Eleanor Guthrie looking very frazzled, her dress and hair a mess from her own run-in with Fayren's wildlife, her facial expression just short of thunderous. She's furious, utterly furious, but being angry doesn't bring you more patrons.

So what people get to see is a very sharp smile. ] People of Fayren, I'm sure you've all had your own encounters with our wildlife already. Now you could do as our valiant Guardian has said and stay at home, alone and miserable waiting for the danger to pass.

Or you could come the Dead Men's Port right there in the harbor and wait it out with the best rum in town and meat fresh from the hunt. Until danger has passed, drinks and food are both half price. If you play music or tell stories to amuse our guests, drinks will be free.

Let's all make the best of our circumstances!

WHO: Bartolomeo and Dorian
WHAT: A tour of alcoholic delights was promised and by god that's a promise we're keeping
WHEN: Probably this week
WHERE: some generic bar in Genessia City and then moving onward
WARNINGS: Barty being gross and Dorian being a flirt? Booze and drunkenness should go without saying.

( It's an adventure! )

Who: Bartolomeo and Namur
What: Bounty time! The Shadow Monstrosity: "Large and highly resistant to physical damage. Can control and shoot out fire." Sounds like fun.
When: whatever day this week they feel like it
Where: Fayren
Warnings: a couple of potty mouths

( at least it's not the Shadow Nose )

[Growly marine is growly!] I was going to ignore this for being so stupid, I haven't even been here for fifteen years!

[All but chomps his cigar ends off, before withdrawing and replacing them. Yes, that's two cigars at once. He might have an addiction "problem." Except he'll tell you flat out, his problem is everyone else claiming it's a bad thing, kthx and shove off and myob.]

However, recent events have prompted a much needed vivification.

I do not owe back taxes. And any foolish outlaw who thinks to use my name as an excuse for their own activities will get my boot upside their head! [Pause. And then if that wasn't already painfully obvious:] With my foot still in it. That is all.

[This is no post from the pod, in fact, he's snuck in a few days ago. He's been watching and observing people in his friendly way, but he hasn't approached anyone yet.

Demyx is bored. He isn't used to having no one to talk to so he activates his device and smiles brightly for the camera.]

Hi! I'm Demyx!

I know you can talk on this thing, so I thought I'd say hi, and do that. This place is pretty interesting, although I didn't think I'd still be here.

[He couldn't just teleport home. Weird.]

Oh well, nothing I can do about it. So, how are you?

[While most everyone seems to be suffering from the heatwave, Dorian seems less than annoyed by it all when the feed initializes. Now, he's not wearing his robes, and his dark shoulders prove he's wearing an outfit without sleeves, but he seems perfectly comfortable, more so than usual, one could say.

He looks rather pleased with himself, also, and while most of his surroundings aren't in view, it's plain the device is nestled on a desk surrounded by very untidy notes in a flowing hand and that said desk is surrounded by bookshelves that are equally in a state of disarray. No one every accused Dorian of being an orderly worker.]

Hello, Genessia! You know, all this talk of a heatwave, and all the lamentation thereof, have gotten me thinking about weather. I know, I know. It's the topic of bores and the unenlightened, something to fill the void at an awkward social gathering, what have you. But, the reason I bring it up is simple: this weather is much more similar to my homeland, which, coincidentally, is in the north of the land from which I hail.

[He folds his hands in front of him on the desk, leaning forward slightly in interest.]

What I would like to know is this: is warmer weather where you come from associated with the north...or the south? Call it a research project.

[When the feed turns on, Cassian and Bodhi are sitting outside in the garden after cleaning and putting away the decorations of the home-warming party. By the small pond, Cassian‘s mudkip pokemon plays and splashes around while the vanillite freezes water droplets in mid air and turns them into ice while giggling.

Kay, the one who set the camera, comes into view holding his cat Fest in one hand and ice teas in the other. The image of a group of 'radical terrorists' Palpatine acused them to be doesn't fit them. Instead, this is a view that says: We are comfortable. This is our life now. We're not about to bring a war here.

The droid doesn't sit down but stays close to Cassian, petting the cat, and finally looks up at the camera.]

It had come to our attention that with the arrival of people from our world some things need to be explained. We would like to shed some light on the issue and ease any possible confusion about our endeavors back home.

Thank you, Kay. [Cassian gives him a smile that shows more warmth than he would let on in public under normal circumstances.] Emperor Palpatine‘s accusations against us members of the Rebel Alliance, or Alliance to Restore the Republic, were heavy. I understand if some of you are alarmed, but we have no intentions to wage war here. We understand that to battle here won’t save any lives at home.

[He pauses, struggling to hold on to the placidity he has been wrangled into for this broadcast.] Make no mistake, lives are being lost at home every day. The Empire is no benevolent government spanning the stars, it‘s a cruel dictatorship which will sacrifice millions, even billions of lives to keep its citizens enslaved. When we died fighting it, we died trying to stop a new weapon which could destroy entire planets with one shot. They have no qualms to use it. We fell victim to it.

But it‘s one word against another, and we don’t expect you to take sides. We just ask that we may live our new lives in peace. My duty is to protect and guard Attleton. That includes any Imperial citizens who choose to make it their home.


[OOC: Specify if you'd like a reply from someone specific]

[you know Bartolomeo only uses video because he loves shoving his fangy face into everybody else's faces. Especially when he's feeling trolly.]

Okay, maybe I ain't been here as long as some of y'all but...serious question. We all get the paper, right? Doesn't it bug you even a little bit just how much people in these cities like to murder the shit out of each other?

[there is a certain irony in Bartolomeo the Cannibal appearing bothered by murder. Spoilers, he's not, but he's super curious.]

And it ain't even overpowered assholes like us, it's the locals. Like, damn, man, we get a delicious selection of bounties every other week because the locals are straight up murdering the ever-loving fuck out of each other. What the hell? I'm a damn pirate and I don't see this much blood on a regular basis. Nobody else thinks this is kinda weird? Or are we all just hungry for that sweet, sweet bounty money? I betcha that's it, huh? Y'all just want the cash and don't care whose blood had to be spilled to get it there. [super-fangy grin] Yeah, I knew it. You're all just as gross as me.

And here at the beginning I was a little tiny bit worried that the Guardians would be a thorn in my ass and would put a stop to my hard work. Heh! They can't even stop the bloodbath, so of course they're not gonna get in the way of a crime boss. It's kinda nice. Thanks for doing such a shit job, authorities.

[really, he's in a mood and it's either this or he mocks people for not even knowing that their loved ones have disappeared. Barty could be a hell of a lot worse but he'd rather poke the beehive of law enforcement]

[the video begins with absolutely terrible timing just as Bartolomeo is sniffling back his snot with a giant SNOOOORRRRT. Right then and there. But hey, if he's going to talk on camera, he's got to sober up and stop wibbling and crying]

So if he's not on the map on the phone and not in the dream docks and not anywhere, that means the greatest man to ever grace these cities and the man who will become the Pirate King is really gone, for real. It's a damn shame. I got real attached to having him around, y'know? Back home I could live just fine on my own with my crew and just knowing that I was Second Division commander in his fleet, even if it was probably gonna be a long time until I saw him again, but here? Damn this place, gettin' me all comfy and able to live with Luffy-senpai. Fuck!

[just thinking of it makes him tear up again, but he quickly swipes his sleeve over his eyes to stifle it]

I'll deal, but I just had to pick up the phone and tell everyone that they've missed their chance to get to know a truly amazing guy. And if you happen to see a streak of fire tearin' around any of the cities, it's probably Ace-sama and you'd better stay out of his way 'cause I dunno what he'll do without his brother.

...that goes triple for you, White Chase. I don't wanna hear shit from you right now. [which naturally invites Smoker to give him all the shit, if he wants to talk about Luffy]

I'm not saying I caused it but as a literal god that was up everyone's ass asking for this exact scenario, I will now be taking full credit.

[ he holds his hands dramatically out towards the previous occupant of his egg: a squirtle. the squirtle has on a pair of his sunglasses. ]

Ta-dah. You're welcome. That's right. This is happening. We're doing this. It is I, Pokemon Red in Dave edition. Look at this fucking gorgeous water turtle over here. Blowing bubbles and shit. What a bad ass.

Anyway, we decided that I'm going to go out and play Pokemon snap up in this bitch. We're filming from now until whenever this dream is over. I'll be doing like a safari Animal Planet adventure thing. If you wanna guest star and share some facts on there because you actually know what you're talking about with these things or maybe you don't but want to be on TV anyway, come find me.

On another note, I will now be taking requests for a sweet mix to go along with your adventure. We need a soundtrack for this. And a really really long Poke-rap.

[immediately at video's start, Bartolomeo is already lazily twirling something red and sequinned around one finger. Yes, that is in fact his red sequin speedo from the date auction. He's making sure everyone can see it now, even if he's not wearing it. Be grateful he's not wearing it.]

You know what takes all the wind right out of the sails of the best pranks? Nobody even reacting to it. Am I right, people who shittily signed their friends up for the auction only to have them not even show up? Yeah, you know who you are. Sucks, don't it? Nobody's even there to gasp and hide their face in their hands and go oh you're so terrible! why would you do that? Although I guess that means they weren't there to be embarrassed when nobody bid on them either, heh.

Pretty lame auction if you ask me. Handful of people using it as an excuse to pay for a date with a person they're too chicken to talk to like normal human beings. Hideous. Totally hideous. BUt what else do you expect from people? [and then he sits up sharply, leaning in close to the camera. Spoilers, one of his lackeys is filming it for him] But if I find out who put Namur's name in there, you can bet I'll be on their doorstep in five minutes to kick their ass. That was real shitty of you, whoever you are, and I got no problem teaching you some damn manners.

[sitting back again, abrupt mood change back to lazy! He draws the speedo back and snaps it at the camera like a rubber band]

Shame nobody got my performance on camera. That was pure gold, man.

[Blue, webbed hands hold up the pretty date auction advertisement distributed through the paper.]

Look at this shit. Seriously?

[The flier gets tossed to the side, in favor of letting the camera focus on Namur's face. His teeth aren't fully bared, but there's certainly a bit more of a snap in the way he says his words.]

Come through time an' space an' differnt universes or dimensions or whatever the hell shit we gone through an' y'all still wanna auction each other off like random shit y' find in some ol' dead bloke's attic? Someone please 'splain it t' me cuz they couldn't back in Balamb. Y'all get some kinda thrill sellin' yer pals? Make y' feel powerful or some shit? Oh, 's okay cuz 's for charity, yer gonna say. Who gives a shit? Yer sellin' people!

[He pounds his fist on the table next to his communicator, making it jump. By the time the feed stops fuzzing and focuses again, he's running his fingers through his hair, trying to calm himself down because he's getting more fired up than he meant. He takes a deep breath and blows it out slowly.]

A'ight, look. Anyone still watchin'. If y' sign up for this damned thing thinkin' 's gonna be fun or whatever an' y' wind up gettin' stuck with some asshole y' ain't okay with, but yer still gonna go through with it cuz charity or whatever- call me. I'll back y' up. Don't care if I never metcha 'fore. Need a 'mergency phone call oops gotta go, I'll make that call. Need a friend happens t' be close by jus' in case, tell me where an' when, I'll be there, catch me? Seriously.

[Namur gives a sloppy but well practiced salute. Anyone familiar with SeeD will recognize it instantly.]

Peace out, peeps.

[from the angle, Bartolomeo's phone is lying on a tabletop aimed up at him as he sits, chin in one hand, squinting down at it in annoyance. His hand moves from turning on the video to pick up a glass of something amber-colored. He's in a tavern in Fayren, the timber rafters are a dead giveaway.]

I don't know what's what anymore. This holiday ain't really a thing that I know about but I guess some people really like the pretty, fancy shit, and some people are cryin' about not being around family, blah blah blah. New Year's is comin' up though, so that's gonna be a thing. Anyway, if you're like me and fancy dress balls with snooty food and stuff ain't your style, come hang out with me at the Drunken Monkey. I'm not nice enough to buy anybody drinks and I kinda can't afford to anyway but I'll tell ya pirate stories if you want.

It's funny, innit? Everybody making these normal little lives, all neat and tidy. Voting for protectors. The illusion of safety and security. I didn't ask 'em any questions because I don't have any [lies, he couldn't figure out the hashtag] but it's all real funny to me. I bet they got no idea just how much crime really happens right under their noses. [he grins a little at the phone before taking a sip] It's all an illusion, really. This place, the people living in it, even the sea itself. Nice to look at, but what does it mean?

...ah, shit, I get philosophical when I drink. Someone come drink with me, tell me stories.

[It's pretty late right now, things should be.... fairly calm, right? Everything is totally relaxed, everyone is getting ready for a nice weeknight in, very calm, very quiet, looks like it might be just about time to turn in. Hit the hay. Relax. Have that nightcap and crack open a good boo-]

BRRRREEEEEEEEWEWWWWEERRRAPPP

[Or it might be time for noise hell. Sounds like someone has a communicator that should not fucking have a communicator.]

BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEOEOOWOORRRRRRRRRPPPPPPPPPPPPP

[Oh good, the pitch is decreasing. That's... that's helpful]

Oh goodness, I'm so sorry, I had no idea it would do that.

[At least that's not painful. The voice on the other side is soft and friendly, and genuinely does sound deeply apologetic, before the screen flickers on at long last. Looks like he doesn't entirely know what he's doing with this shit]

I hope I didn't disturb any of you! It looks like it's pretty late out, I'd hate to think I woke anyone up!

Is everyone alright?

[Doesn't look or sound much older than eighteen, honestly]

I do apologize! I just couldn't help pressing all the buttons~.