Smoker (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
justicereigns) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
genessia2016-07-27 03:48 am
justicereigns) wrote in genessia2016-07-27 03:48 am
Entry tags:
Migraines and things
Who: Smoker & anyone for any reason
Where: Fayren shore
What: Mr. Grumpypants marine has a migraine headache.
When: July 27th at like nearly 4 am.
[Leaving a small note, a pot of coffee sans one travel mug worth, and a pot of ramen soup sans one thermos worth, Smoker isn't completely sure that it'll be enough, but probably better than alerting any general populous that he's not there, even if he did set a couple of metaphorical watchdogs to keep an eye on things.]
[He takes along a small pocket radio, half curious if it'll even work in Fayren, and heads out to the beach.]
[For a breath of fresh air.]
[And to eat his ramen.]
[And think.]
[And overthink.]
[And over think everything ever.]
[As he does.]
[And to try to deal with a migraine headache that won't let him sleep.]
[But if he can't sleep? Neither can you.]
[Which is why he's sitting on the shore, trying to fiddle with the radio player.]
[And maybe toast marshmallows for s'mores.]
[Or roast fish he caught.]
[AND stack rocks.]
[And make a small sand castle you literally won't see until you crush it oops. That's okay, he didn't like it anyway.]
[But at least he'll get to greet the sunrise.]
[He hates sunrises =\]
Where: Fayren shore
What: Mr. Grumpypants marine has a migraine headache.
When: July 27th at like nearly 4 am.
[Leaving a small note, a pot of coffee sans one travel mug worth, and a pot of ramen soup sans one thermos worth, Smoker isn't completely sure that it'll be enough, but probably better than alerting any general populous that he's not there, even if he did set a couple of metaphorical watchdogs to keep an eye on things.]
[He takes along a small pocket radio, half curious if it'll even work in Fayren, and heads out to the beach.]
[For a breath of fresh air.]
[And to eat his ramen.]
[And think.]
[And overthink.]
[And over think everything ever.]
[As he does.]
[And to try to deal with a migraine headache that won't let him sleep.]
[But if he can't sleep? Neither can you.]
[Which is why he's sitting on the shore, trying to fiddle with the radio player.]
[And maybe toast marshmallows for s'mores.]
[Or roast fish he caught.]
[AND stack rocks.]
[And make a small sand castle you literally won't see until you crush it oops. That's okay, he didn't like it anyway.]
[But at least he'll get to greet the sunrise.]
[He hates sunrises =\]
Re: [Action]
Ted's eyes closed. Not that this bored him in the least; it was just what he did when matters of the mind and spirit became so vivid that they eclipsed reality. That and it's just plain easier to think that way. He know he said he'd advise only once, but...didn't mean he was done.
"Not a bad strategy; 'give us this day our daily bread', and all that. Certainly one can think too much about everything, and not enough about something." Ted usually had that problem. "Akainu sounds...afraid. A man without faith." That...that might be the answer to the riddle. Another pithy aphorism came to mind.
"We spoke of the four cardinal virtues. They belong to the sad and sensible people, like yourself. Like your jitte; straight and narrow and solid and something everyone can see the point of. Akainu probably had room for only those, and saw them through to the end; indeed, they seemed to have made an end of him. Four sane virtues, four of you. Some connection, perhaps?
Regardless, there are yet three more virtues, less sane but more exuberant: Faith, Hope, and Charity. They are called for when they're least reasonable. You seem to be grappling with charity even now; that is, reverent agnosticism towards the complexity of a soul. You've expressed hope in the desire for reformed criminals; is that not why your jitte is blunt? And finally..." Ted impregnated the pause.
"Another aphorism for you: "the just shall live by faith". If the four practical virtues are a truncheon, then the three impractical ones must be a cloud: white and wispy and lodged in the heavens. Not unlike your smoke; your chief pleasure. Maybe your justice is like smoke because it is, even now, living by faith."
Re: [Action]
He too closed his eyes, simply to think harder and concentrate on it. "You're right that Akainu has no faith but..."
He kept his head leaned back, facing up to the stars. "I'm not exactly sure what I have faith in either."
The just shall live by faith?
The only thing Smoker knew he had "faith" in was justice, and his own strength and convictions. So if his justice was supposed to be clarified by faith... then it was doomed to fall apart for being too circular.
He snorted quietly about there being four of him. Marines? Admirals. "I'm not an admiral, or even a fleet admiral like Kuzan and Akainu." They both were. And that was the problem. There could only be one. Was Akainu's conviction really that much stronger? He somehow still doubted it. Just like he believed that Portgas could have taken Akainu, or Freeza. Was that faith? Eugh. Smoker's face came back down so he could smack himself with his own palm.
"It's not that I keep them alive just for them," he insisted through his fingers, almost trying to convince himself more than Ted. Soft. Everyone always said he was too soft-hearted. That was why he couldn't stand letting Tashigi cry. Seeing her justice fall. Was it why he let Straw Hat go? No matter how he tried to rationalize it. Too soft to ever be absolute enough? "It's -- Like I said, because they don't deserve the weaker path. And others can learn from their example. Just killing them doesn't really solve anything. It still creates ripples, just underneath the service instead of pitching in rocks, like bubbles."
Smoker dragged his hand down his face. "I sure as hell don't have faith in their ability to change. It's just... justice is giving that equal opportunity. They never had that--"
His jaw instantly clenched and tightened on the cigars. "Well, at least some of them anyway."
Portgas, in particular. Why did it keep coming back to him?! Why did it all seem to connect through this one man? What had society done, did it weigh out what he did in turn? Ace and Straw Hat's grandfather had tried to give them that chance and yet...
Was Smoker just trying to outdo his hero? Do what even Garp couldn't? Prove something to himself, that Akainu was wrong. Well if Akainu had no faith, then fine, Smoker was fine with having an abundance. Except... blind faith was pretty fucking new to him. Even as a concept.
Re: [Action]
Ted, if he may think so himself, thought the smoke metaphor was becoming more apt. Like all abstractions, one could make out the shape, before it became formless and drifted off into the ether above. Smoker's riddle seemed to be that of a practical man finding the end of the practical road, and unsure of his footing as he stepped beyond into the mystical and the unseen. It was funny because Ted's road practically ran backwards; he had found the sun before he'd ever found the things it was supposed to light. He had known ghosts and spirits before he'd ever laid eyes on flesh and bone. It felt like a miracle, as if two parallel paths really did meet, contrary to all arithmetic.
He could've stayed like this forever. But then, Smoker, for all his cigars, didn't seem to be taking any pleasure in it, as he was, and this seemed as good as time as any to let the thinker alone. He fell silent for a while; the longer of about half an hour or as long as Smoker would allow. Ultimately, Ted couldn't do much better than the simple pith of "the just shall live by faith", much as he might try to explicate and expound. Far better to let it ripple and echo like a mantra. So he merely looked to the stars, seeing their minor and many lights gradually outdone by the king of them all. Perhaps a symbol of pointed and plain virtues fading in front of the greater. Another metaphor, lovingly provided by nature herself. Or perhaps something outside nature?
Ted got up and dusted off sand. On the whole, he thought Smoker was too hard on himself. But then, humility, though not one of the seven, was the healthiest virtue he knew. He wouldn't dare stop Smoker's self-abasement for that. Just hint a little more than maybe Smoker wasn't as just as he claimed. "Is hell so sure?" Funny how some had absolute faith in that infernal place, but comparatively little in the other. Comes from humility, perhaps; not wanting to presume salvation.
"Suppose it's natural for someone named 'Smoker' to be familiar with evanescent things. I've faith that one day, that smoke of yours will grow whiter and more solid than your jitte." He smiled, eyes still looking towards the horizon.
"You...really don't know how much good your indulgence has done me. I've been marooned at sea for some time; a miserable castaway. It's really too fortunate I find a marine, and an idealist marine, at that! Could any pirate boast the same?
And just like me, you prefer the attendant miseries of ideals to the happiness of the world. I could've sworn I was the last of our dying breed. Well, if I don't sound miserable, it's because I'm delighted to find another turning on the racks. It's as if I spent all time in a dark dungeon, only for the first light to be a fellow inmate roasting above the faggots. Well is it said that misery loves company.
Indeed, your own love is spoken for, despite your protest. You're more seasoned in charity than you say. Does not justice mean simply finding a man's due and giving it to him? Yet here you are, treating me far better than I deserve. You've been unjust and...I'm grateful. Thank you. I should like to shake your hand."
[Action]
"I don't..."
"That isn't..." More stammering and Smoker just barely refrained from rubbing the back of his neck, though even his smoke seemed embarrassed for him.
"It's not what's due... It's not even for you? I mean. I... Thanks for listening too???"
He fails so hard at this sort of things. So hard.
"I'm definitely not in love. Or charitable." Okay there were a few orphanages around Loguetown who would love to disagree with that, and Portgas himself probably would, and Straw Hat might, but fuck all of them, they didn't know.
"But thanks... for everything."
One day he hopes to be less awkward as hell with people.
But he doesn't expect it. It seems he only has three gears. Dead neutral, casual as hell best friends forever that you can treat like an ass but they know what you mean, and hatred and loathing of pirates and criminals.
And Ted thought he was charitable somehow?
Re: [Action]
At a loss for words, huh? Wow, that must have been the best speech ever! Ted's beaming. "You're very welcome." Of course he thought Smoker was charitable, though perhaps more for what he was than what he said, or allowed Ted to say. It's a lonely world out there for an idealist. You mostly find disagreement or indifference. Finding another was the sort of treasure pirates can only dream of. Smoker's lucky he's sitting down, else Ted might have pushed his luck and gone in for a hug.
"Remember, talk me up to Kuzan, and live by faith. Let's talk again about ideals sometime. Until then, good morning."
[Action]
OH GOD TED DO NOT HUG HIM, HE IS ALREADY SHORT CIRCUITED AS IT IS!