Marco the Phoenix (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
fierybluebird) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
genessia2016-08-28 03:50 am
fierybluebird) wrote in genessia2016-08-28 03:50 am
[Video] (LATE morning, well after newspapers are out) CW: idk balut, eating Irish babies.... :|
Let's just make something completely clear here, yoi.
Chickens have rights.
[.... That was one of hell of a non sequitur.] And anyone who thinks people won't complain about anything you eat is just fooling themselves. I come from a world where even plants are sentient and talk sometimes. And if Big Mama's souls get into the homies around her, all food talks and has eyes and ears and babbles about weird shit like whether or not they'll be tasty. And humans freak out all the time about others eating bugs, even though you'll eat fish and birds that eat bugs, and that's worse because it just means entropy is happening and you're getting less energy value from it. Or do you just like the waste and taste of chaos? Besides, do you know what lobster is? Sea bugs.
I'm not saying don't ever eat anything. I'm saying, you're all disgusting. [Points a finger. Isn't he great?] Have you ever heard of-- [HAS TO STOP HIMSELF FROM THROWING UP SORRY, complete with fist over his mouth, quietly breathing to stay deadpan.] balut? [DUN DUN DUN. Also clearly from his face, this is the most heinous thing he's ever heard of.] It makes the satire A Modest Proposal by Jonathon Swift seem absolutely humane, yoi! And for those who don't know, he was suggesting convincing the nobles to start eating babies that would otherwise starve to death. And that's not even the sick part, the sick part is that the nobles were only mad that the babies weren't good enough for them to eat. Kind of like veal. Which is baby calves. Only not only is it baby calves, they can only be fed milk or they stop tasting like newborns. You freaks.
[ARMFOLD.] So before you start worrying about whether sharks eating sharks is cannibalism, or whether it's okay to eat humans, or only non-humans, or if fish can feel pain, let me just tell you. They all have lives, and you know what nuts and berries are? Sex organs of plants. You know why testes are called nuts? That's why! And berries are just like ovaries. And hell, caviar is considered by weirdo humans to be a delicacy and that's just literally going into a fish and scraping out her eggs. Humans either just never think of how disgusting it is, or they learn to stop caring.
But if you care about one food today, don't eat balut. It's filthy and wrong and you should be ashamed. Go eat plant testes. Or bee vomit. You sickos. You disgust me.
Oi, but seriously. Chickens have rights. Just because you raise them as food doesn't mean you can treat them like slaves, scrape out their eggs, or cut off their beaks. Let them live in peace, and grow nice and big, and then you can do the food thing. Because otherwise someday a giant bird might just decide to eat you. [If only Buggy were here to testify...]
[But that appears to be the end of his rant. Finally.]
[Action: However speaking of giant birds.... There's an extra huffy sparkly blue phoenix hanging around the outdoor cafes, hissing and glaring at anyone who orders eggs for brunch today. :| It's just one of those days.... Bet you wish there was a vigilante to help stop him now, huh? Well, maybe not. Or maybe you can stop him. BE THE HERO THAT NON-VEGANS NEED EVEN IF THEY DO NOT DESERVE!]
[ooc: Do not google balut if you are squeamish about half-grown ducks or chickens still in the eggs.]
Chickens have rights.
[.... That was one of hell of a non sequitur.] And anyone who thinks people won't complain about anything you eat is just fooling themselves. I come from a world where even plants are sentient and talk sometimes. And if Big Mama's souls get into the homies around her, all food talks and has eyes and ears and babbles about weird shit like whether or not they'll be tasty. And humans freak out all the time about others eating bugs, even though you'll eat fish and birds that eat bugs, and that's worse because it just means entropy is happening and you're getting less energy value from it. Or do you just like the waste and taste of chaos? Besides, do you know what lobster is? Sea bugs.
I'm not saying don't ever eat anything. I'm saying, you're all disgusting. [Points a finger. Isn't he great?] Have you ever heard of-- [HAS TO STOP HIMSELF FROM THROWING UP SORRY, complete with fist over his mouth, quietly breathing to stay deadpan.] balut? [DUN DUN DUN. Also clearly from his face, this is the most heinous thing he's ever heard of.] It makes the satire A Modest Proposal by Jonathon Swift seem absolutely humane, yoi! And for those who don't know, he was suggesting convincing the nobles to start eating babies that would otherwise starve to death. And that's not even the sick part, the sick part is that the nobles were only mad that the babies weren't good enough for them to eat. Kind of like veal. Which is baby calves. Only not only is it baby calves, they can only be fed milk or they stop tasting like newborns. You freaks.
[ARMFOLD.] So before you start worrying about whether sharks eating sharks is cannibalism, or whether it's okay to eat humans, or only non-humans, or if fish can feel pain, let me just tell you. They all have lives, and you know what nuts and berries are? Sex organs of plants. You know why testes are called nuts? That's why! And berries are just like ovaries. And hell, caviar is considered by weirdo humans to be a delicacy and that's just literally going into a fish and scraping out her eggs. Humans either just never think of how disgusting it is, or they learn to stop caring.
But if you care about one food today, don't eat balut. It's filthy and wrong and you should be ashamed. Go eat plant testes. Or bee vomit. You sickos. You disgust me.
Oi, but seriously. Chickens have rights. Just because you raise them as food doesn't mean you can treat them like slaves, scrape out their eggs, or cut off their beaks. Let them live in peace, and grow nice and big, and then you can do the food thing. Because otherwise someday a giant bird might just decide to eat you. [
[But that appears to be the end of his rant. Finally.]
[Action: However speaking of giant birds.... There's an extra huffy sparkly blue phoenix hanging around the outdoor cafes, hissing and glaring at anyone who orders eggs for brunch today. :| It's just one of those days.... Bet you wish there was a vigilante to help stop him now, huh? Well, maybe not. Or maybe you can stop him. BE THE HERO THAT NON-VEGANS NEED EVEN IF THEY DO NOT DESERVE!]
[ooc: Do not google balut if you are squeamish about half-grown ducks or chickens still in the eggs.]
Video
[Thank you very much Blondie for fucking up his appetite for the next two weeks or so. Katze will be sticking to jellybeans for a long while.]
no subject
[BECAUSE HE TOTALLY WOULD.]
[But he just wearily sighs instead.]
If only.
no subject
You're a jerk! People gotta eat and I'm finally getting used to eating more often. I think fish are the tastiest but you make everything sound bad!
[Cue in a childish pout from the Mulberry beanstalk over here. Katze can typically go months without food but he's been trying not to fall into that cycle again. There's more to life than just jellybeans and he just realized that.]
Trolling people like this is usually my job but I've been busy!
no subject
You snooze you lose, early bird gets the worm.
And despite eating through the same mouth hole they shit? Worms are pretty tasty, yoi. [:|]
[He will so tell you about jellybeans, because if you think worms are bad...]
But fish are good for you, yoi. Go eat fish. Just have some standards and don't eat lobster or fish eggs. Or whales. Whales aren't even fish, yoi. But takoyaki and octopus is fantastic. Have at.
no subject
[He snickers a little. The image is hilarious enough to make him laugh.]
Takoyaki is king! That's the best but wait--fish lay eggs? Like chickens? Oh! That's cool but I don't like eggs. Just takoyaki and fish.
[He doesn't know jack squat about marine life. Not a damn thing.]
Octopus are bizarrely tasty despite being so ugly.
no subject
Squid as well, but I'm not a fan.
I don't think birds are meant to chase deep sea food.
Video
Re: Video
What's that Kool-Aid stain doing over there?!
Video
Second, Grell recognizes the VERY LOUD VOICE but can't pin point it. She just looks around, not seeing anything magenta in her sight. Odd...she knows she heard him!
It's not even her device, so she won't know Katze is talking to Marco!]
Re: Video
Re: Video
[He's giggling like a madman now. So THIS ugly blond man here must be Grell's hubby. That explains why Little Miss Red is over there chatting up a storm.
Katze knows your secret~!]
So "this" is the guy who's desperate for you, Red~? Ha! You two look like mustard and ketchup.
Re: Video
no subject
[He giggles impishly. Katze likes giving nicknames to people. It's so much easier to remember them that way and plus it's fun!]
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But I'm a blue duck, yoi.
[He is not a duck, he's a phoenix.]
I mean quack.
[.... That's not better.]
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Huh? [Did this man just become some overgrown duck with a bad attitude? That lackluster 'quack' makes Katze scratch his head a little.]
How did you do that?! You're a duck! Quack, quack, quack!
no subject
Stop quacking. It's annoying, yoi. It's like you want to baby talk but can't even do that right.
[Flicks his sparkly tail up and down.]
See? Not mustard. Sparkly blue, yoi. [Sparkle sparkle sparkles.]
no subject
[Katze grits his teeth in annoyance. Stupid birds should be on a plate not talking on live video.]
Oh, you're actually blue? Ah?! Does this mean Red is screwin' a blue chicken?
no subject
Hardly.
[Holds up his hand to show off his wedding band.] And don't call my Kitten, "Red." It implies a friendship which obviously isn't there.
no subject
Then tell, Red to quit callin' me Mulberry, mustard.
no subject
But you may call me unholy terror unleashed upon the world for its irredeemable qualities, including the devouring of balut. Or just Marco for short.
Kitten does what she wants.
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[Katze's hair fluffs up a little in annoyance and he's perfectly annoyed right now.]
Double standards! Don't come crying to me if your precious 'kitten' loses a few whiskers.
[He's the REAL cat around here. That stupid wannabe and her equally stupid husband can both die in a fire for all he cares.]
no subject
I wouldn't recommend trying that if I were you. She's very dangerous, and even her claws have teeth, eh?
NOT HERE
Re: NOT HERE EITHER
NOT HERE-ness!!