02. Gatcha Rock! | v i d e o

[bergkatze]

Look at what I got!

[Don't be too alarmed by the overexcited redhead on the screen. It's late in the afternoon when this post goes live and Berg Katze looks like he's sitting on a balcony somewhere, perhaps the inn. For today's live show, he's in his usual blue tailored suit and black heels but he has a bright white apron on that he undoubtedly snatched from somewhere.]

I got a watermelon! [He pans the screen over towards the right to focus upon the large green fruit he has sitting on a towel.] And I got it for FREE thanks to the pink lady!

[He means Rose quartz.]

She told me that watermelons are great for summer and even better to share with friends and stuff. I'm not sharing mine with anyone but Bracken, so I gotta make look real nice!

[The goofy alien settles the phone down at an angle so it can keep recording him and the watermelon. People might notice the shadow of a long black chain attached to the phone now.]

Okay, so I gotta open it right? [He kneels down next to the watermelon and taps it.] Hello, Mrs. Watermelon! Won't you share your delicious fruit fruit with us?!

[Obvious this is a joke since he's snickering a little but it's slightly endearing. He places his head against the watermelon as if listening to it.]

Ah, ah! She said yes! I guess time to open it!

[Katze suddenly pauses.]

Eh, does that mean I smash it or cut it? [He hums cluelessly.] But...if I do that, won't the skin get all ruined?

I kinda don't want to just tear it apart. I mean look at it! It's so round and happy!

Comments

[Video]

[shy_mage]

Y-You have a watermelon?

[He couldn't remember the last time he'd had one. It made him think of summer parties.]

I... I think you cut them.

Re: [Video]

[bergkatze]

Yeah! I snagged a watermelon for you~! Best gift for summer, right?

[He says with a grin as he pets the melon.] Isn't that right, Mrs. Watermelon? [He pretends to be the watermelon and starts giggling in a false feminine tone.] Yep, yep!

[The grinning alien turns to smile up at Bracken. He's sitting on the floor with the melon.]

So we gotta carve it? Aw, I should've gotten two! One to eat and one to keep but one watermelon is heavy as hell.

[He let's out a dramatic sigh as he drapes himself across the fruit.]

[shy_mage]

F-For me?

[It was a strange gift, not something he would usually think of as a present, but he liked watermelons.

Being a mage, he kept a staff, and didn't usually have knives around. There wasn't a kitchenette attached to his inn room, so he'd have to go to the kitchen to get one. He hopped onto his feet.]

I'll... I'll be right back.

[And with that he left and came back with a knife and a pair of plates, making some room on the desk for them. Not a lot of space to work with there, but he managed. There was just one chair, too. It was a bit cramped for two.]

H-Here, I could try to cut it.

[bergkatze]

[Strange but practical! Food is always the best gift, isn't it? Between that and the souls of the innocent!]

Sankyuu, Sankyuu!

[He pushes himself off the watermelon and snatches the knife. Katze juggles the knife from hand to hand all fancy-like before into a mock samurai pose before the melon.]

You have dishonored your melon patch! Now die~!

[Katze stabs the knife into the watermelon and starts carving out neat little slices.]

[shy_mage]

[He watched silently, not complaining, but still worried about things that Ted had told him. It was hard to believe that Katze could do such bad things, even if he did play rough with a watermelon.

Leaning his weight on his staff, he glanced around a bit before finally asking.]

K-Katze, can I ask you s-something?

[bergkatze]

Ask away, ask away~

[He stops cutting the watermelon for now after making four perfectly proportioned slices for the two of them. There's no way they can eat a whole watermelon by themselves, so maybe they'll share the rest with Airy.]

Does Airy like watermelons? [Katze peeks up at Bracken and grins.] If so, we have plenty left.

[shy_mage]

I... I'm not sure. W-We could ask.

[It was a large piece, but he picked up one of the slices and bit off the tip. It really was a nice snack.

But, the subject on his mind was more serious.]

Have... Have you ever hurt s-someone?

[Video]

[lobstersamurai]

...You are happy about smashing a watermelon?

[A certain crimson armored man is looking at Katze strangely.]

I don't understand.

Re: [Video]

[bergkatze]

Hell yes! Why wouldn't I be, lobster head?

[-Hiss, hiss!- He already doesn't like the cut of this guy's jib!]

It's fun to smash and break things, right? So breaking open something to eat is even better!

[lobstersamurai]

I fail to see the point in that.

[Well, he's not too fond of Katze himself.]

[bergkatze]

If you can't see the point of that, then you're an old fuddy-duddy!

[-Hairflip-]

I don't need to explain myself to some overgrown lobster-man! Like really, you know you don't have to wander around in armor all day.

[He huffs a little as he puts his hands upon his hips in true sass mode.]

Who are you anywho~?

[lobstersamurai]

My name is Ryoma. And you must be the one called Katze that I have been told about.

[He raises an eyebrow.]

[bergkatze]

Told about? Eh, who told you about me---Oh.

[He pauses for a long time before suddenly having a 'EUREKA' moment.]

Oh! You must be one of Bracken's guildmates!

[lobstersamurai]

I don't know if that's the right word, but yes, I know of Bracken. He told me about you.

[He crosses his arms.]

[Video]

[02crusnikabel]

Um, hey hello mr.Katze! Do you got one from the nice lady too? They're very juicy and big.

You get a nice and cut them up into nice triangles. If you smashed it with a hammer, then you're making a watermelon slushie!

Re: [Video]

[bergkatze]

[The alien arches his brow at that "mister" part. He's not used to formalities and Abel kind of clothesline him with that one.]

Eh, what? [Katze scratches taps his chin a little in confusion.]

Oh? Oh, yeah! Yes, I snagged one from the pink lady. She's really pretty, ya know! Kinda looks like the motherly type.

[OHHHH~!! SMASHING THIS WATERMELON WITH A HAMMER?! Oh, Abel. Don't encourage his destructiveness.]

I need a hammer, stat! STAT!

[Video]

[02crusnikabel]

Hey wait! It wouldn't taste good with the green skin. If you do that, it will taste extremely nasty.

You need to find a large knife to cut the fruit in half. Once you cut in half, you'll see the red flesh, right? You only smash the red flesh and mixed it with ice and put it in a blender for the slushie.

Re: [Video]

[bergkatze]

Oh, I'm good with knives. Like scary good. I'll carve up this watermelon in no time!

[So, green part is bad. The red fleshy stuff is good? That's all he needs to know. Now for a good knife.]

[Video]

[02crusnikabel]

W-well have fun with that! Just...keep it simple and cut the fruit in half, okay? And um, don't hurt yourself with a knife.

Re: [Video]

[bergkatze]

I know! What? You think I'm stupi---YOWCH!

[...He just cut himself with the knife. Yep, he did. On his thumb no less. That explains all the blood which is surprisingly red like any normal human.]

AHHHHHHHHHHH!

video;

[gastronomics]

Some creative cuts and a melon baller could make it still look very happy if you're creative!

[ Her reply is just a little delayed because she made a demonstration that's on her kitchen prep table on the video. ]

Re: video;

[bergkatze]

[O.M.G! Who is this broad!?

Katze is so spellbound by her skill that he's just standing there like a limp fish out of water. The alien doesn't know what to do other than stand there in astonishment over her creation.]

Damn. You're good.

[He actually leans in real close to the screen going "Oooh!" and "Ahh!"]

I-I REALLY WANNA TRY THIS! Yes, yes, yes! Bracken would LOVE that!

video;

[gastronomics]

It's really simple with enough patience and precision. You can probably get a cheap melon baller from the store for around $6 then you'll be able to do it all the time with a decent knife.

[ It's not really her specialty, but you have to be able to perform all the basics in order to go into her field of expertise. Cutting and balling? She's got it. ]

Re: video;

[bergkatze]

Patience ain't something I got in abundance, magical cooking lady.

[No words have been truer spoken.]

But I'll try since that actually looks really cool! I might end up getting a few more melons too for the sake of color. It's summer! We need more wonderful colors in our lives before Old Man Winter makes an appearance.

[He pauses.]

Does this place even HAVE a winter? Japan did.

video;

[gastronomics]

I don't use magic, it's science~

[ At least the way she cooks it is. Very beautiful science. ]

It does have winter! I got here in December, it was freezing..!

[ She wandered around in the snow until someone took her in. ]