001 [Video]

[never_go_back]

Kodachi had the nicest dream.. In this dream she was a princess sprawled out on a velvet couch being served fruit by five shirtless Ranma's though one of them had the head of a shark and one was wearing a lion's head. But that all made sense because it's a -dream-! But! She suddenly woke with a snort to the sound of a newsletter hitting the door, "Nnghugh..."

She picks up the newsletter, then draws it open as she talks to herself, "Oooh, I know what Ranma would like for his next birthday," she giggles to herself, "I wonder where I may be able to purchase a lio- Oh?" Her birthday is in late June.

Suddenly a flower vase flies across the room which smashes against the wall with a violent shatter.
[Video]

[The feed clicks on revealing a shoulder up shot of a furious looking teenage girl adorn in a black pajamas and a serious case of bed hair.]

Would someone kindly tell me who.. No, what creature is responsible for this disgusting.. rancid... twisted perversion of literary failure and tries to pass it off as a horoscope??

Comments

[ Video ]

[tomboytendo]

[ Nothing about that dream made sense - and yet it kinda did because it was Kodachi. ]

[ Also Akane was going to ignore this because she didn't trust Kodachi one little bit, but.. bed hair. PFFT. And she was kind of curious. ]

What's that about horoscopes?

[Video]

[never_go_back]

G'AH!!

[She lurches back suddenly, it's a dog!!! .. Oh. Wait, no, it's her good friend Akane!]

Oh! Akane Tengu! I knew you would not abandon me in my darkest moment of need!

[She'd take Akane's hand but.. Well. She can't. Alas. The dramatics are in high force!]

That sham of writer dare suggests that my love life.. In this week's newsletter.. It was so rude! They must be brought to justice!

[Video]

[tomboytendo]

It's TENDO,and you KNOW IT.

[ BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK!!!! ]

Anyway, I didn't see the stupid thing. It couldn't have been that bad.

Video

[monkeystowaway]

What's wrong with the horoscope? [He tries to avoid the newspaper here, if he can help it.]

[Video]

[never_go_back]

'What's wrong' he says! Why only the most tragi--

[Wait a moment. Kodachi squints. What is she looking at? He looks like some sort of rapscallion! But also an animal!]

.. What are you?

[Video]

[monkeystowaway]

[Well, no one had ever used the term rapscallion to describe him. riffraff, yes. But not rapscallion.

And it seemed to him like she was about to get very over dramatic there before she got distracted.]

Me? I'm a Faunus. [He uses his tail to wave at her a little.]

[short_n_sweet]

[By now, Jaune can only laugh! He's been here so long, he knows almost exactly what must have happened.]

I guess you read the newspaper? Eh, don't take it seriously - those guys are fulla crap half the time.

[never_go_back]

'Don't take it seriously'? How in the world am I supposed to let something like this [She shakes the newsletter at the screen] Slide?

But.. You half-understand, so please allow me to educate you on the importance of this sort of thing! Please state your occupation; and do mind your language around a lady~.

[short_n_sweet]

[Half... understand? What's this girl talking about? And now she's scolding him? Oh boy. Jaune's immediately a little nervous, he didn't realize he was over-stepping some sort of boundary.]

W-Well no, I just... Oh, my occupation? Sorry! My name's Jaune Arc, uh, Miss. I'm Everglade's Guardian I guess... [There's a moment where he considers what to say next.] ... Might I ask your name? This is the first time we've met.

video;

[watchesthesea]

Horoscope? Did it say something wrong?

[She doesn't understand what you are on about honestly.]

[Video]

[never_go_back]

You don't know the half of it!

[Kodachi opens the newsletter.]

'Forever alone. FOREVER. It may be your.... body odor. You should do something about that.'

[Is that... a glowing red aura of death surrounding her? It very well could be.]

How... dare they..

[Video]

[watchesthesea]

That doesn't sound very nice at all. I can understand why you would be so upset.

video;

[soldierofloveandbeauty]

I wouldn't believe what they say for the most part.

[Especially considering hers says she will be lucky or get luck and so far, only bad luck had happened. Mostly with the newspaper going through her window and hitting her square in the face.]

[Video]

[never_go_back]

But that's exactly the problem!

[Kodachi smacks her hand upon the half-dead(??) newsletter.]

Astrology is a legitimate means of devination! It's things like this that make people say those sort of things, it makes it a mockery and we should not stand for thi-

[...]

... Are you all right, dear? Whatever happened to your face?

[Kodachi's fairly certain it wasn't her doing.]

[Video]

[soldierofloveandbeauty]

Does it do the type of things about love? Because I use to read them for that.

[She rubs her nose slightly. It still stung a little bit and it was still somewhat bleeding, but she tried to keep it under control.]

That newsletter you got, I had one come flying through the window and hit me in the face. Quite hard I might add, so here is the end result.

[Video] Hi Kodachi!

[womanizingbreeder]

They were rather peculiar.

I wouldn't take it too seriously. Most of the time it's journalists who come up with the articles.

[Video] Eeee~

[never_go_back]

[She huffs.]

Peculiar is an understatement! And while what you say is most certainly true, that does not mean we have to stand for it!

Astrology deserves better than this! Starting with this so-called journalist, who needs to be..

[She crushes the newsletter in her hand.]

Punished.

[Audio] Cause teasing Kodachi might become a hobby...

[frostheartedrose]

[There's a sound like a teacup being placed back on a saucer.]

That really depends I suppose. Which literary perversion are you speaking of? And you really might wish to sleep in a braid from now on.

[Video]/[Audio] Nuuuuuuu! ... Or yes!

[never_go_back]

[That voice.. She recognizes that voice!]

You again!! And what are you talki--

[Wait.. Braid.. Her hair! Her eyes go wide then she suddenly switches to audio followed by the sound of drawers dragging open or slamming shut.]

I haven't time for your nonsense; just look at the newsletter horoscopes you'll know!

[Video]

[leekspins]

It said I'm going to die of boredom.

[And she looks so depressed because of it. What a terrible way to go!]

[Video]

[never_go_back]

[A bead of sweat falls down the side of her face.]

.. You do realize that is merely a figure of speech, yes?

Or do you crave excitement so much that the mere idea of having none depresses you?

[Video]

[dreamingartist]

Oh no...did it tell you something scary? Or rude?

[Video]

[never_go_back]

Rude is an understatement; it dared assumed I have poor hygiene!

[She gnashes her teeth.]

I am a beautiful young lady and I would have you know I smell like roses!!! I'm the perfect catch!

[Video]

[rikuheyriku]

I don't... really understand it, either. Mine told me to watch out for...angry pigeons?

Right after I got hit in the face with the paper, and everything...

[Video]

[never_go_back]

Oh come now, that is simply absurd. I wouldn't bother wasting your time pondering any of that nonsense seriously. This so called 'astrologist' is clearly a sham.

[Beat]

Gracious, that deliver person is on a face-smashing spree aren't they? What is this world coming to?