EVENT EVENT EVENT FOR GENESSIA IT'S AN EVENT

[sarcastass]

ISOPOD

[In Genessia, it's settling in to be a comfortable, cozy late spring evening. The birds are just starting to quiet down, the crickets are gearing up for a full orchestra, the lights are coming on throughout every district and the bay is peaceful and qu-

NO FUCK YOU.

A massive pinkish head breaks the waves, a thick, fat, barnacle encrusted isopod heaving itself out of the water and clambering up onto shore, hissing and shaking water everywhere as it immediately besets a sea side stand selling potato chips.]

LOBSTER

[Meanwhile, the earth through the food district and center of Genessia rumbles. Its thick armored body creaking and groaning, a thirty foot long lobster, as tall as a bus, ponderously drags itself through down town, antenna alone knocking over lamp posts as a claw the size of a mini cooper handily slams apart the glass of a nearby sea food restaurant, releasing a wave of rubber banded, confused potential dinners into the street.

BE FREE.

The considerably less rubber hindered lobster beast also seems to be a fan of irony, as it snaps up one or two natives in a claw and attempts to nibble them to death.]

CRAB BATTLE AT VL (VL employee exclusive)

[And how on earth this fuck off huge spider crab got here so quickly and quietly is anyone's guess. With pin point precision it slams a pointy leg against the building, trying to bash it open with a claw as it settles around the actual establishment.

KNOCK KNOCK MOTHERFUCKER.

GIMME ALL YOUR LUNCH MONEY.]

[[ooc: THE BATTLE HAS BEGUN. PICK YOUR OPPONENT, but the crab belongs to Tannusen and his employees.

PLEASE REMEMBER THAT GENESSIA CITY GUARDIAN DAVID HALLER HAS THE RIGHTS TO KILLING THE LOBSTER.]]

Comments

VELVET LUST, OR BUST

[black_black_heart]

(( OOC: As stated in the post itself, and on my plurk, Velvet Lust employees are all welcome to join in! Regular patrons are assumed to just not be here yet, during this, because... there's already potentially a lot of us. I'm not even bringing Jethro into it, fam. This critter's already going to melt with this crew. And then get boiled for eats. ))

---

It's just barely dark, so there's only a few patrons inside. Those outside, of course, run screaming. At the bash against the solid brick of the building, those inside end up yelling in surprise as well, fleeing from the wall as assorted bric-a-brac goes crashing to the hardwood floor.

The very moment this all happens, Tannusen leaves Lil mid-sentence and strides up the spiral stairs in the bar's secret basement, emerging through Portal Passage in the tiny, private office off of the kitchen. He doesn't know what the fuck is going on, but he knows he doesn't like it.

Another slam against the wall, and the Wyrd drops onto the entire city block like a silk veil being yanked out of the way all at once. The Dreaming spills in, turning the whole region into chaos and fantasy and colors that don't exist. A dragon roars overhead, flying past. The building, Velvet Lust...

The outside is suddenly covered in a thick tree bark stronger than any steel. Oakenshield, after all, isn't limited to people.

And the person who emerges from behind the bar...

...Is a very aggravated, growling, armored, huge white bengal tiger. Something is attacking his territory and he does not appreciate it, thank you!

WHATEVER IS GOING ON OUT THERE, IT'S FUCKING RUDE. His ears are flat back as he pads past panicked patrons, heading for the door out to... take care of this.

Re: VELVET LUST, OR BUST

[sarcastass]

I'M NOT RUDE YOU'RE RUDE.

The asshole crab responsible for this attack does, in its defense, see Tannusen.

It also apparently doesn't think much of being nibbled to death by a kitty so the second Tannusen shows his fuzzy ass outside, the crustacean takes a swipe at him with one pointy snappy claw.

UP YOURS.

It seems pretty set on peeling the building apart too, not exactly brutally smashing it to bits. There appears to actually be a method to this insanity, those stupid eyestalks wiggling this way and that as it tries to get a better look through the hole it just punched in the roof.

[black_black_heart]

A regular tiger, at a run, can leap up onto an elephant's head. But Tannusen's not a regular tiger, and he has magic at his disposal. A single drop of Glamour is all it takes for the nine hundred pound armored tiger to suddenly be a nine hundred pound armored tiger who can fly. With Wind Runner active, Tannusen just launches himself up and over that swiping claw... and up onto the critter's back.

EXCUSE YOU. VELVET LUST IS HIS, NOT YOURS. Claws far sharper than any mortal tiger's dig their way into plate for traction, and the tiger's rumbling growling roar echoes out for several blocks around the bar.

He's a cranky kitty, now. You're gonna pay him for that roof, snacky. In crab meat.

[k2so]

Kay is a little annoyed.

He was going about with his day at work and suddenly the apocalypse comes in the form of giant walking seafood. He makes sure to help the patrons leave the building as safe as possible before walking out to see what exactly was happening.

Giant tiger fighting a much giant crab. OKAY.

This is probably not in his work contract but he's a little annoyed that his workplace got so rudely attacked. The droid turns, goes upstairs and grab two of the detachable pole used by the go-go dancers and heads out to join the fight. He flings one directly at the crab's head to stab it, because Kriff you crab, that's why.]

I'm sure the Isopod just wants hugs

[om_nom_namur]

[Well there's something you don't see every day. Where the hell did these bigass bottomfeeders come from and why the hell are they buggering off inland so damn fast?

Weird.

Namur's more inclined to just shrug it off and keep minding his own business, but when he turns around all the fish have disappeared.]

What the- Aaaaaauuugh y' gotta be shittin' me!

[Nope. The giant creatures have scared off all the fish. They are gone. The only thing left to eat in the area is the oversized isopod, which for some reason stayed on the beach. Whatever. Namur cracks his neck from side to side. It's about time he finds out just how much training he needs to do in order to get himself back up to snuff after laying around in the Dream Docks for two months, and a big dumb bug seems just about the right size for cutting his teeth.]

[The isopod is, of course, going about its business of wrecking everything, when it is rudely disrupted by a loud yell and a sudden impact to the back of its head that sent its buggy little face plowing into the sand. It makes a crater only a foot deep, and Namur scowls as he hits his feet. Weak sauce. Looks like the answer to how much training he'll have to do is "a hell of a lot".]

no one understands the depths of the isopod's suffering

[sarcastass]

[HEY.

ROOD.

That well enough smashes the potato chip stand it was menacing.

The double decker bus sized underwater pill bug focuses its ugly compound eyes on Namur, hisses, and MENACINGLY

curls up in a giant fuck off ball.

Eat a dick.]

Offer's on the table, Namur will give it a love bite. He'll only take off like one leg when he does

[om_nom_namur]

Aw c'mon, y' ain't gonna start shit an' not finish it, are y'?

[He'll eat more than a dick, he'll eat all the guts too. Once he can get at them. People are starting to freak out and more than likely they're going to cause problems for him more than for the damn bug though, so Namur moves up to the isopod ball and starts rolling it down the beach to a less populated area.]

IT NEEDS ALL ITS LEGS THO

[sarcastass]

[UH NO. NO EXCUSE ME.

NO.

It actually does uncurl for this, jamming its legs into the sand and trying to skitter back and over Namur, probably hoping to flatten him with its big dumb pillbug butt.]

Picky picky, gawsh.

[om_nom_namur]

[That big dumb pillbug butt is just big enough to be effective. Good job! Namur gets the wind knocked out of him as he rolls underneath, receiving his own faceful of sand. He reaches out and grabs for one of the legs, using it to pull himself toward open air, gasping. Things are definitely off to a fantastic start, here.]

[sarcastass]

[Fnar har har

If isopods could laugh it'd probably be that obnoxious as the dastardly beast tries to jam its various pointy legs into Namur's face.

It doesn't really have much of a mouth after all, so hey it's gotta make due somehow.]

[om_nom_namur]

[Namur blocks one leg, narrowly dodges another. Shit, he hates being on defense. He needs to get control, or at least throw off the isopod's groove. So he snaps at the next leg that comes near, with a jaw strength that can shatter metal.]

[reachnotflexibility]

[ Well. A giant isopod attacking a shark. That's something you don't see everyday. Certainly not what Garrus had thought he'd encounter when he decided to take Archangel for a spin in a different city, that's for sure. But color his curiosity tickled. He watches them wrestle for a moment before the shark goes down. That's his cue.

He pulls his Mantis off his back and looks through the scope. The head's unfortunately bent out of his sight, so he'll have to go for a body shot. Of course, he knows nothing about isopod physiology, so he has no idea where to shoot. Best to just wing it, then.

He clicks a round of armor piercing ammo into the gun and aims where the heart would be in him - it's as good a spot as any - and fires. ]

---
((ooc: Garrus is here as Archangel, meaning he has a helmet on and you cannot see his face))

[space_jesus]

[Some days, it just don't pay to go to the beach. chaos, following his recent meeting with Yuuko, is actually out to enjoy a day in the sun without his environmental suit. So, he's just wearing swim trunks, and had been enjoying a nice swim, before being rudely interrupted by the arrival of the biggest pillbug he's ever seen. And then someone starts fighting it, and they're pretty good (for an apparent fish-person).

Then it all goes to hell when fish guy takes a fall, and someone's even started shooting at the blasted thing. No, there's no time to sit back and watch this unfold. Three people are probably going to have a better shot at taking it down than two.

So, heedless of his state of (relative) undress, he legs it toward the giant isopod. Once he's in range, he unleashes a pair of shimmering, heat-haze-like bolts from his empty hands - no sense in trying to hide superhuman abilities if someone's in danger of getting killed because you're too shy to show off.]

Lobster Hunt

[sixthmage]

[There's something puzzling and down right scary about a thirty foot long lobster rampaging around town causing chaos in its wake. However, Elatus couldn't help but he oddly humored by the fleckless destruction done by this overgrown piece of seafood. That's not to say he's not alarmed. The mage is somewhat terrified as he stares up at that overgrown creature from the streets below. While the sea creature doesn't notice him at all, Elatus does find himself in jeopardy when the lobster uses its massive claws to chuck a lamp post towards him and other frightened pedestrians.

That's when the mage quickly interferes.

Within seconds, a magical paling comprised of thick layers of ice shields around the people preventing the street lamp from slamming into them. The icy barrier is thick much like steel but shards of ice fall due to the brutal impact. Still in his normal form, Elatus allows some of his magic to fade once the lamp post hits the cement with a noisy crack.]

This is not how I wanted to spend my afternoon.

[He cannot help but sigh. This is the beginning of a very long day for the quiet mage.]