VIDEO | Open

[thedaddyissue]

[The video clicks on, and there’s Jacques, back straight and classy as ever in his new suit, hands clasped behind his back..]

Good Evening.

As you may have heard, I have recently stepped down from pursuing the Schnee Company at my daughter’s request and allowed it to be passed on to my son, Whitley. I hope that you’ll treat him with the same respect and admiration you all showed for Weiss.

Now, I know there were some misgivings about my behavior when I first arrived, and I am truly sorry for the way I acted. I was very stressed and my actions were naive, immature, and in only my own interests instead of anyone else’s. I apologize and hope that you’ll look past that awful first impression. I would like to see this world prosper, and I believe I have found a way.

[He plasters on the most politician smile you can imagine here.]

I have elected to run for the Guardian position in Attleton. I firmly believe that I can implement change that is beneficial to everyone, not only in Attleton but even to Genessia as a whole to some extent. I encourage everyone to take a look at my application and reach out with any questions or concerns you may have.

Thank you for your time, and remember to vote for Schnee, the finest of them all.

Comments

[aurabble]

Never heard of it

I'm happy for you two and everything but was that like your long lost pet

Was it an adult movie?

[orlokbutterfly]

Talk of pets is gonna go into a little territory we like to label "TMI" and there might be children viewing Jackie-baby's announcement.

I mean the original play isn't but I'm sure there have been adult adaptations given the plot.

Maybe we should find one of them and watch it together. I need something to do while combing that mustache.

[thedaddyissue]

REINHARDT!!

[Deep breaths, Jacques.]

I SWEAR THE FIRST THING IM GOING TO DO AS GUARDIAN IS ARREST YOU FOR HARASSMENT

[Or not.]

[orlokbutterfly]

You're gonna arrest a Nova City resident from Attleton? Good luck with that one, babe.

And ooohh, might wanna chill there, buddy. Publicly threatening to arrest someone because they're making funny comments on the Internet isn't gonna reflect your campaign too well.

Say, do you even know how to protect anything that isn't your own ego?

[thedaddyissue]

Harassment and slander are very serious offenses. I’m sure that if brought to their attention, Nova City’s Guardian will investigate my claims and see that you are, in fact, guilty of such offenses. I hadn’t reported anything yet but I am certain that there is now more than enough evidence to see quite clearly how you are victimizing me.

[He’s actually going to send a message to Weiss right now to report the crime. He has “friends” in high places here too.]

[orlokbutterfly]

[Ohhh, if only they hadn't switched to text, because Gale had just busted out laughing.]

Seriously? You gotta hide behind your daughter? Wowww.

I mean, you're the one victimizing yourself, soooo if you wanna tattle to the Guardian, be my guest.

By the by, check the definition of slander. I don't think that word means what you think it means.

[thedaddyissue]

It is not tattling, it is ensuring that justice is being properly served, an idea that any guardian should be behind.

Slander is defamation of a person wherein their reputation is harmed. Your falsities about the nature of our relationship, which is filled with nothing but disdain, certainly fits the bill.

[orlokbutterfly]

Dude, pretty sure you don't need my help in harming your reputation. If anything, I'm improving it.

And no, no. Pretty sure you're tattling. Because that big meanie on the internet is hurting your feelings. Go make a blog post about it, maybe someone will give you the hugs you're apparently lacking. Guardians have way bigger fish to fry than helping a crybaby who clearly doesn't know what being a Guardian actually entails.