[Video] and if he is as bananas as you say, I'm not taking any chances

[earth_rick_c_137]

[ Have a 60-year old human with a unibrow, sitting... in a bar? Definitely looks like a bar in the background. Like hell was he going to start tinkering with this garbage phone at the Bay with only his flask to sustain him. ]

Oooookay, this is-- [ beeelch ] this-this is real original, guys. Real novel.

[ He downs a shot. ]

I'm super impressed. And also already getting super bored.

Comments

[forgottheoffbutton]

Y-You're Rich Sanchez! One of the greatest geniuses and destructive forces in the multiverse! It's an honor to meet you, sir!

[earth_rick_c_137]

Oh good, a fan-boy. Just what this day needed.

[ Lab coat club? Lab coat club. ]

[forgottheoffbutton]

I'm sorry sir! I...I shouldn't fanboy but there really aren't many villains of your caliber in the multi-verse. Your deeds of villainy inspire me to want to be as bad as you, one day. I'll keep the praise to a minimum...if you want.

1/2

[earth_rick_c_137]

[ ... ]

2/2

[earth_rick_c_137]

No, no, by all means, work the shaft.

[ Couldn't be any more deadpan. ]

Nice-- [ braaaap ] nice coat. What's with the bag?

[forgottheoffbutton]

...No need to be so vulgar, sir. [He's a polite villain. Don't go corrupting the bag son, Rick. You have Morty for that.] Thank you. I earned it with my Ph.D in Mad Science. ...It's a long story. Short answer is I like wearing it.

[earth_rick_c_137]

D-did they give you the doggy-bag before or after they took off your balls?

[ SORRY FLUG. ]

[forgottheoffbutton]

I-I still have my...testes, sir. I've had the bag since I was little. [Flug's life is suffering. Don't be sorry.]

[earth_rick_c_137]

I mean I'm not-- not judg-[ beeeeelch ]-ing if they're gone, buddy.

The important thing's science.

[forgottheoffbutton]

...I still have then, sir. I can assure you. And you're right. The most important thing is science. Well, science and what one can gain from it.

[earth_rick_c_137]

Well I just assumed if you learned science at a-- at a school, they must've taken them off.

[Video]

[pretty_handy]

[There's a woman with fours arms staring back at the camera.]

I know it looks like a joke but it's really not.

[forgottheoffbutton]

Neutering isn't part of the curriculum at the University of Villainy in Detroit, sir.

[earth_rick_c_137]

No, a joke would have a punchline. This place is just boring me.

[ The four arms thing gets a very brief squint, and a glance up... at her head?

Okay... not a Gazorpazorp, at least. Unless she's an amputee or something. ]

[earth_rick_c_137]

Sure it isn't. Whatever lets you sleep at night, pal.

[pretty_handy]

You need to make your own fun. I know that can become a challenge for some people.

[She raises her eyebrows at the glance up.]

My boobs are down here.

[forgottheoffbutton]

Nothing does that, sir. Since you're here, may I ask what plans you have for the cities here?

[earth_rick_c_137]

Well good, nighttime is haa[ braaaaaap-elchhhh ]aalf of all time on most planets. It's a total rip-off.

[ Plans? ]

Look, I don't know which Rick you've heard of, but I'm not much of a pla-planner. Though I did just recently lose three years of improv classes.

[forgottheoffbutton]

...I'm not sure if that's a good thing or a bad thing, sir. From what I have heard of you, you are a vile and evil villain that spreads destruction and uncertainty everywhere you go, sir.

[earth_rick_c_137]

[ Okay, definitely not a Gazorpazorp. ]

Yeah? What about them?

[earth_rick_c_137]

I mean, only on Tuesdays. That could still be any of us, though.

[ He downs another shot. ]

Infinite universes, infinite [ braaap ] Ricks.

[ And a whole lot of universes no longer existing at all. ]

[forgottheoffbutton]

But they are still all you. In a sense. Infinite Universes, yes but all of them are Rick. Anyway. I look forward to seeing what chaos you bring. I hope I can learn from your example of how to be a villain.

[earth_rick_c_137]

[ And C-137 is acknowledged even by the Council of Ricks to be the Rickiest of all the Ricks.

So.

That's a thing. ]

Yeah sure thing, kiddo.

[ Flug has a point, though. Rick will get bored -- Rick is already getting bored. When he gets bored enough, either some serious shit is going to go down or... he'll just leave.

Or both.

...It's usually best to bet on both, with Rick. ]

[forgottheoffbutton]

Thank you, sir. [He fidgets nervously on the phone. He can't hang up on Rick. Oh no. That would be a stupid thing to do. But he has no idea what else to say right now. Then he remembers Rick was working on the phone he's using.] ...Sir? Can I ask what you plan to do to improve the phone you were provided?

[earth_rick_c_137]

I dunno. Probably just install Doom on it.