genessia | voice

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voice

[Usually, this channel is all video all the time.

Which... makes this... odd.]

Hey kids!

Are you good at puzzles?

Looking to bone up on your human hand anatomy, but that A&P book is just too fucking pricey?

Are cadavers too impermanent for you?

Come on down to Wade's kitchen and learn through an intensive, fully interactive, two hour long program on how to reassemble a human hand that accidentally got caught in a Nutri-Ninja.

... Bring bleach.

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...Alright. I'll do it. What's your address?

[He does type it out, seems like it's on a fairly high end area of town-]

No really bring bleach.

Like... a lot of bleach.

I'm bringing bleach and rubbing alcohol. Lots of it.

Sweet, see you in a bit, bruh.

I'll do what I can on my own until you get here, try not to make direct eye contact with Bane.

Wait.

You live with Bane? The villain Bane? And how about you don't touch anything? Because knowing you, you're going to wreck your other hand and your left foot.

Cad Bane.

He's an alien.

I mean he's an alien bounty hunter who might booby trap everything if I fuck with it again, but his resistance just makes me want to move all his shit more.

That's just disappointing.

...And that sounds like you. Just...I don't know. Don't be you for a few minutes.

Don't you insult my alien life partner.

You better pick up the goddamn pace before I just jam a salad tong in the stump and go back to work like this.

...Why does no one listen to me?

[Because your life sucks, Flug. You're Black Hat's Morty.]

I'm hurrying as fast as I can! Please don't do that.

What? Sorry I wasn't listening.

I don't wanna be late to work, it's important.

...You're as bad as Demencia.

[There is a knock on Wade's door. The doctor is in.]

WHAT? I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER ME STARTING THE BLENDER AGAIN.

[No really by the time Flug gets to the door there is the sound of a very unhappy blender in there. He's figured he can just shoot stuck bone fragments out of he TURNS IT THE HELL ON.]

DOOR'S UNLOCKED.

[Flug sighs. He walks in and follows the sound of whirling blades, slicing skin and the chipping of bones. He walks into the kitchen and sets his medical supplies on the counger.]

Kindly step away from the blender.

[And there is Wade, in boxer shorts, one arm no longer dripping gore from the stump but still clearly sans a hand, the other still functioning hand holding the high set blender and aiming it at the kitchen wall.]

You're not my real dad.

No but I am your doctor. You called me and here I am. Put the blender down. And sit down please?

[Knowing Deadpool is an anti-hero now has taken away almost all of Flug's fear of the man in red. Seeing him in just his boxers and mask also steals away the last of his fear. He's irritated and just wants to help, charge for his services, and go home. He has an anti-gravity device to work on.]

[boi if u think he's gonna pay 4 this-

Wade does shut the blender off at least, but also upends it on a counter and gives it a good few whacks]

Least you used please, Bane would of just shot it.

[The merc does kick a chair out at the table and flop in it, various hand related parts arranged just so on the table.

Still missing a lot of metacarpal bones though.

Fun fun!]

Alright. Thank you.

[Flug grabs out his tweezers and moves to unplug the blender. He tips it over and moves in. He taps his goggles, allowing for magnification. He starts picking out pieces from inside the appliance and sets them next to the parts already gathered on the counter.]

Now, can you please tell me how this happened?

The blender got stuck and I was in a hurry.

So you stuck your hand inside while it was still on?

You were in that much of a hurry?

Well ever since "The Incident", Cad's taken out all the cooking utensils and hid them, so like there wasn't much else to unjam it with.

...The Incident?

[Okay. He needed to hear this. What did Deadpool do to lose ALL of his access to silverware?]

[No reasonable reply.

Just laughing.]

I ruined a perfectly good kiwi banana smoothie for this, I'll have you know this is no laughing matter.

It's totally a laughing matter, if you're that dumb.

[Hee hee.]

It got stuck!

Ain't nobody got time to turn it off and unstick it!

If you don't have time for that then you don't have time for a smoothie!

[Hee hee.]

... Anyway, can I come see?

[THERE IS ONLY SO MUCH DEMENCIA CAN IMAGINE.]

No I had just enough time planned for a smoothie and fixing the blender was not factored into the allotted time slot.

You can come if you bring tweezers and a claw hammer.

[Silence on her end before...]

I have neither of those! But I still wanna see.

Look just steal 'em!

... Okay.

[No, bad Wade don't encourage her to do bad stuff.]

Cool, see you whenever you get 'em.

[WHY NOT]

[Hee hee hee.

Click on her end, but wait she never got Wade's address.]

What did you do?

Nothing?

I was just trying to be a normal person and make a kiwi banana smoothie and there was a minor mishap.

I mean anyone could have done it.

I don't think just anyone get's their hand caught in the blade.

Are you calling me dumb?

I got finger goo and bone pulp on everything, where's my sympathy?

Not yet but I can. [She's nice enough to call him dumb if that's what he's looking for.]

You have my sympathies. Do you need help?

[Though she doubts she'll be able to do anything.]

I mean I could use some help picking bone fragments out of the wall.

[Enis audibly signs.]

Fine. I've touched worse.

Thank yoooou.

[A text of his address zips in next]

I'm not kidding about the bleach.

You're lucky I dabble in chemistry, everything you need I have. Be there in a few.

[True to her word she shows up with a small duffel bag of materials.]

You need someone to reassemble your hand for you?

Less reassemble more 'find all the pieces and put them in the same general area.'

[ People here are ridiculous. But- ]

Sounds fun. [ Ehem. ] Well, in the sense that it's a difficult puzzle. Not that your hand is likely mutilated. That seems less fun. For you.

I mean it's not like this is the first time this has happened.

This week.

I'm just gonna be late for work if all I do is sit here and wait for it to grow back, and no one wants to be your friend when you're that guy with the weird tiny baby hand at the club.

Edited 2017-06-07 04:03 (UTC)

[ Most of what she's done on Genessia so far is try to catch up on the network. It seems to be the biggest 'who's who' and informational source around after the welcoming center and the GSRF's information. And she'd been trying to avoid getting too caught up in anything yet, but that..

Well. ]

Why does it sound like you need a hospital more than an anatomy student?

[ Former surgeon is concerned. ]

Edited 2017-06-05 22:19 (UTC)

I need less of an anatomy student and more of an anatomy fan.

You know, someone who generally spends a hot Friday night inside articulating skeletons.

Do you have someone's hand that needs reassembling?

[ Like on a very serious note she's trying to determine if someone needs an ambulance or an ambulance and an arresting officer. ]

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