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Hey so, bit of a weird question. Anyone here ever heard of Torchwood, and could maybe point me how to get back to contacting the local branch? That'd be really handy, yeah?

Year and star system coordinates would also be fantastic, but I'm not holdin' my breath waitin'.

[Bites her bottom lip in thought.]

[She doesn't even know which universe this is. Much less how she got here without a dimension cannon or where everyone she was with went. Maybe they're here. But then maybe even saying their name depending on the universe is dangerous. Luckily, she's had 5+ years (give or take for literal dimension rewinds and time in the vortex) of experience in learning how to do codes.]

Here's a fairytale you've probably never heard before.

Once upon a time there was a big bad wolf. She wandered a city of metal filled with metal men. [Too dangerous to even say the world cyberman until she learned more!] She thought she was on a mission to hunt down her lost prince. But she was actually on a mission to find home. Bit like Dorothy from Wizard of Oz if you know it. And one day she met a man who wasn't a prince at all. He was a very brainy professor. There was even another man who started off as a mouse but turned into a lion full of courage, saving worlds he never even knew existed. And a really flirty captain who was probably too pretty for his own good. They weren't off to find a wizard. Just a blue box.

The big bad wolf ran away from home and her pack over and over and over again, but no matter how many times she ran, and how many new friends she made or which universe she fell into, something was always calling her back. 'Pparently you can't escape your family that easily. That or the Big Bad Wolf's mum was seriously terrifying and would fight a werewolf for diamonds and totally win.

Thanks for listening, Ta!

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

That was a dumb story.

[That's the only thing they have to say about that whole... rambling thing.]

Sorry. [SHRUG.] The only way it's less dumb is too long for words.

Well the comparison to Oz wasn't really needed, since your story has really no true parallels to that story.

[A child is scolding Rose on literary references, what a little shit child.]

And how come none of the characters have any names? And metal men? Just say robots. Just sayin' as a kid who is like the target for fairy stories and such, it could be way better.

It doesn't, huh? [OH, SHE IS SO AMUSED.]

They're not robots.

They're actually human zombies covered over in metal with circuitry specifically hardwired to their hearts and nervous system to prevent emotions because otherwise they self-destruct at their new lack of humanity. [NODS Like this is no big thing. Not that it can be seen on audio.]

[They snort, it's a rude and ugly sound.]

That makes them seem even cooler, you should have mentioned that in the story.

I'd rather not. Easier to codeword them.

Codeword them by making them sound lamer then they are?

Exactly. [Small invisible smirk.]

Self destruction over being soulless tools isn't exactly not lame either though.

Yeah but you didn't mention that in the story, which would have made it a better story.

Instead you went with "metal men".

Self-destructing zombies covered over in metal that regret their existence is a mouthful.

And I didn't want to upset anyone who might have lost family that way.

Man if anyone lost their family like that I'd have to laugh at them.

[And hey they even do laugh a little.]

Anyway to your other questions I don't have any idea what those are so sorry.

[ :| ]

[This is why Rose hates kids, no matter what the Doctor says.]

No worries, I knew they were a longshot when I asked, yeah?

How do you like this place?

[But Rose, your (metaphorical) kids could never be as bad as Chara... One would hope.]

Never hurts to ask, of course.

... And it beats being dead.

[One does indeed hope.]

It is death. Zomb--

Oh!

You mean being here. Sorry. Yeah... Um... that's... encouraging? A positive way to look at it?

[.... She wants to ask if the kid is dead where he's from or just morbid or a troll. She's gonna let it go though because none of those answers can be good.]

Please tell me you have actual fun here. [Loud facepalm.]

It's the most positive way to look at it!

[Such a cheerful tone now, and really if she asked they would be very... straight forward with the truth. In that they were dead before. But not right before ending up here.]

I've had fun so far, but my idea of fun is probably a lot different from an adult's idea of fun.

Right. Now I've gotta ask. Just hopin' it doesn't bite me in the arse. What's your idea of fun, kiddo?

Hanging around, going for walks... Oh there's a library so I've gone there.

[Laughs.] Oh? Is that not something adults like? I must be doing it wrong.

Well it's not like I'm going to bars or I dunno... Doing weird adult stuff?

Yeah. [Bemused nod.] I guess I do that too. But different strokes, yeah? Not all adults like bar-hoppin'. My friend, he's really old, but never was into that scene.

[A pause.] He's not really good at the being adult thing either though.

Well I don't know many adults who are normal either, really. [Most of them being Monsters... or monsters, ha ha ha.]

Well yeah if he's old. Old people are different from adults.

Why's that?

He's the oldest person I personally know.

Because old. Like if you're over like... a couple hundred you're super old.

[That's is a weird age range to pick for a kid to say, ain't it.]

He is over that, yeah.

I think he can't chalk up his weirdness just to being ancient though.

Oh oh is he not human? Cause not humans who live for a long time can be weird too.

My m-- adopted parents back home are like that, really old and kinda weird but in a good way.

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