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[polyandrist]

[When River flicks on the camera, she's sitting in her office at her desk, and she's got an antique Earth map on the wall behind her. She's holding a cup of tea, and she's smiling.]

Hello. For those of you who don't know me, I'm River Song and I'm a professor of archeology at Attleton University. Normally, I specialize in Earth and Earthen settlement archeology from a multitude of time periods. However, given that I'm going to be here for the foreseeable future, I decided I'd try my hand at some more local ruins, if there's someone who'd be willing to be a guide. If nothing else, I do so miss having my hands in some dirt.

Comments

[spacepeterpan]

Ohh, look at you, ready to dig up some trouble if it won't come t'you, eh?

[polyandrist]

Of course, sweetie. I'd hardly be me if I didn't. Want to come along?

[spacepeterpan]

[...well, he'd be lying if he denied having some mixed feelings about being the tag-along this time, but how often isn't he lying?]

...well, yeah, sure, may as well, not like I'm busy right now, anyway, is it.

[polyandrist]

Well, you know you would fit right in under the guise of the gentleman archeologist, especially with the bowtie. I could even teach you how to properly dig something up without the benefit of a sonic.

[spacepeterpan]

Haha, yeah, well-

[Oh, he's always pleased to get a compliment, particularly from River--but wait that one was a bit back-handed, wasn't it?!]

...oi! What d'you mean archaeologist?

[Really, how rude...]

[polyandrist]

Now sweetie, it's just a title. And honestly I've already been told once this week that you laugh at archaeologists and I'll remind you that we laugh right back at you.

[Not. That. She's written those papers or anything. No, his wife would never do that.]

Besides, I think it's lovely. I may even let you wear a hat.

[A specific hat. She actually even has one.]

[spacepeterpan]

[He just sighs resignedly at that like he can 100% guess who said that. ...since he's been the one who came up with that remark, already. Ugh, it's like finding a poem you wrote when you were fifteen that you thought was really clever at the time, and hell, maybe it even was, but now...

He does give her a bit of a petulant finger-pointing and belligerent chin-jutting at the bit about archaeologists laughing back, and tugs at his lapels symbolically.]

Eleven-hundred years of time and space, I don't think I need permission to wear a hat.

[Never you mind if he's acting more like eleven than eleven-hundred. Then again, as he once said with another face, there's no point being grown up, if you can't be childish, sometimes. ...'course she does have his attention, 100%, and she can probably read him that well at least, but he's not about to admit to it as if he's eating out of her hand tyvm.]

[im_with_stupid]

"Want some company, or is this you running away for a bit?" [she asked. No judgment. In some ways... River was a lot like the Doctor. Amy loved them both for who they were, and that meant accepting them for who they were.]

[polyandrist]

If I was running away, Mum, I wouldn't advertise it. [ the words come with a grin, because even when she was Mels when she was running away, it would just be days when she went silent before she turned up again with a smirk and a story.]

You're welcome to come along if you want a bit of adventure. I expect you're missing it the same as I am.

[im_with_stupid]

"Good girl," [she said with a grin.]

"And I'd love to. You're right, missing it. Inviting the Doctor?"

[polyandrist]

Of course. I figure we can all do with some good adventuring. I'm sure they'll be a proper curse or two at least somewhere among the ruins.

[im_with_stupid]

"Which of course will prove to be some ancient alien thing that is really just out to kill us all...."

[polyandrist]

Perhaps someday we'll find something that actually terrestrial that will be a curse. Wouldn't that be exciting!

[ No River, no one would be excited about that but you!]

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[unhappy]

That's a weird map. What kind of place has everywhere all chunked together?

[ Her world isn't Earth so that's a whole other mystery. ]

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[polyandrist]

It's a map of my home planet: Earth.

[River might have come from loads of different places and times and lived there as well, but Amy and Rory were from Earth, which meant that she was too. It was something that she'd always considered even when she was a little girl.

But thankfully, River's also from other places, so there's not surprise or judgment when she asks:]

Where are you from, sweetie?

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[unhappy]

Remnant. Earth is just what we call dirt there. Weird name for a planet, especially if it's mostly water from the look of that map.

[polyandrist]

We call dirt earth because at the time, people believed that it was made up the entirety of our planet. But you're right in that we're mostly covered in water.

[unhappy]

Seems like they needed to open their eyes if that was the case.

[ Like. That's a lot of ocean to miss. Em isn't a cartographer or historian or really anything besides an angry asshole thief though so. ]

[polyandrist]

That's true, but it wasn't until people started moving around oceans and trading openly that they had some idea of how big the planet really was, waterwise. And of course the people in power always make the name.

[Blame the bible. River always blames the bible.]

Action because screw the rules

[bigbadrose]

[THROWS A PAPER BALL AT RIVER'S HEAD :V]

[And ducks down behind the door to see what River does. ALSO IN CASE SHE SHOOTS BECAUSE AMY DID WARN HER SHE LIKES TO SHOOT HATS OFF THE DOCTOR'S HEAD.]

[She also may or may not be planning to get your husbands certain hats now.]

[Spoilers; she totally is.]

[polyandrist]

[Well, River wasn't expecting that! However thanks to her training by the Silence, she does have very quick reflexes, so she dodges it and manages to grab it before it hits the ground behind it.

And then of course, she beans it back at the direction of who it was who happened to throw it, because turnabout is fair play.]

[bigbadrose]

[Oh good, at least it's recieved in good humor.]

[Rose uncrumples it writes a note in blue glitter marker on the inside.]

HI TEACH!!

[AND THEN RE-CRUMPLES AND THROWS IT AGAIN, carefully so that her head doesn't bob over and make her identity obvious.]

[polyandrist]

[well, the blue glitter, gives away that it's someone from her world, of course, and River just smiles before she calls out.]

Well, hello to you too. I'm afraid I'm out of blue glitter, but you're welcome to come inside if you like.

[bigbadrose]

[Hesitates... she wanted to play a game....]

[But all right.]

Hi Professor Song.

'm just on m'way to work, actually... [Chewing her bottom lip.] Just thought I'd say hi.

I'm Rose. Rose Tyler. [Nod!]

[polyandrist]

I know, we met at the party, remember?

[But River just smiled, and she rose to her feet before she offered the woman her hand.]

Please, call me River. I like to save the 'Professor Song' for the people who are being annoying.

[And her husband, but she is wisely not mentioning that.]