A RARE SMOKER POST [Video]

[justicereigns]

[Growly marine is growly!] I was going to ignore this for being so stupid, I haven't even been here for fifteen years!

[All but chomps his cigar ends off, before withdrawing and replacing them. Yes, that's two cigars at once. He might have an addiction "problem." Except he'll tell you flat out, his problem is everyone else claiming it's a bad thing, kthx and shove off and myob.]

However, recent events have prompted a much needed vivification.

I do not owe back taxes. And any foolish outlaw who thinks to use my name as an excuse for their own activities will get my boot upside their head! [Pause. And then if that wasn't already painfully obvious:] With my foot still in it. That is all.

Comments

[youfool]

[Smoker you loser you're supposed to play along.]

Goodness! Those pirates must have corrupted you more than I thought! No wonder you went so easy on them, playing so fast and loose with your finances and your timekeeping. The Marines ought to hang you for treason.

[Just be glad he had barely enough tact to avoid mentioning Ace.]

[justicereigns]

[No. Fuck you. He does what he wants. He's a loser like that.]

No. It's not true, Ted.

[youfool]

You're just telling me what I want to hear. That may work on the bar floozies you court, but I'd have thought you'd hold me in higher esteem. But if you insist, let's have your documentation. Let's see your birth certificate!

[He knows that's not relevant, but he just has to know if his parents actually named him "Smoker."]

[justicereigns]

[Points a finger at him.] You leave the loose drunks I pick up in bars out of this! [.... No wait.]

And I don't have it. What you want me to open a gate just to get my marine academy records?

[youfool]

[He'll assume one of two things. Either A) Smoker is finally humoring him (progressive!), or B.) He's picking up drunks to...dust them off. And send them home. With an AA tract for good measure.

Yes. It must be one of those.]

Don't you dare!

[Little more desperation in that jest. He really doesn't like subarchways.]

You've had enough lawlessness for a decade-and-a-half!

[trivialization]

I'm impressed I can understand you at all with half your mouth full.

[Like she never talks while eating.]

[justicereigns]

[DRYLY.] I've had experience.

[trivialization]

Yeah? Do you have a target number you're aiming for, or are you happy at two?

[video]

[chicken_kun]

Heh! Well at least this is one way of finding out your dumb face is still here, White Hunter.

C'mon, don't you want to join the pirate side? It's fun bein' on the run!

[video]

[justicereigns]

Hell fucking no.

Not ever.

Why hasn't your ugly mug gotten less deranged?

[video]

[chicken_kun]

Kyehahahahahahahaa! What, did you think a place like this would mellow me out? Nah, man, I'm havin' a good time.

[also, no more Straw Hats to keep him on a leash, but shh, he won't tell]

video;

[icyheart]

Not the person's fault if they have the same name as you. Unless you are lying and some of those back taxes are yours and you blaming some poor same named victim.

[And yes, she is saying this all with a smile.]

I mean, love the thought of potential violence, but at least admit to what you've done wrong.

video;

[justicereigns]

HOW MANY PEOPLE CAN BE NAMED SMOKER?!

[Woops. A little frazzled nerves.]

[And he snorts.] Maybe when I actually do something wrong, I'll be sure to fix it. Legally. [RAISES SUNGLASSES TO GIVE HER A LOOK.]

video;

[icyheart]

Who knows really, too many people to find out.

[And yet the look does nothing for her.]

Well, have fun in jail. Sure they'll come for you. Also, what is that look? You look like someone came and kicked you in the crotch.

[Video]

[om_nom_namur]

[As soon as Namur can stop laughing long enough to breathe, he'll post a nice message.]

Shit Smokestack, yer lettin' 'em troll y' pretty hard with this. Let it go, man. Damn.