Video to Friends of the Doctors (backdated to 10/12 before event)

[spacepeterpan]

[The video starts on the Doctor, wearing that brown fedora given him by River (although it makes him look less like a rugged manly-man archaeologist, or even a curly-headed grinning maniac, and more like a nerdy teenager from the 1930s who wants to grow up to be a hard-boiled reporter), apparently in the singing meadow. As whimsical and silly as he looks (which is nothing new to those who know him), his expression is one of those half-serious faces which a few people in particular (Amy, Rory, River, his older self) know means he might actually be at his most serious.]

Got something to talk to you lot about, something important, important to me, and I'd like to think to all of you, as well. It's not a reproach, but a warning, try to bear that in mind.

[He pauses a tick, glancing downward, then back at the camera--then tilts its view downward, to his either passed out or very-well-faking-it previous incarnation. He keeps narrating as he goes, holding the camera there for a couple of seconds before turning it back to himself.]

...he'll be all right in a bit, defense against psychic trauma, Time Lord thing, well, lots of telepathic species have them, sort of like how your human immune system sometimes encapsulates pathogens, rather than destroying them or filt'ring them out, but telepathic instead of organic. Harmful memories, ideas, whatever you can't process, they get sealed off, locked in a box in a cupboard in an attic in a house you stay away from. Some of you know exactly what I mean.

[Which, really, in this case, mostly means his future self; or his younger self, if he watches this, later.]

I'm telling all of you 'bout this, because I think we all know what's been causing him problems. ...well, me, but that me, down there.

[He twists the camera again to indicate his younger self, then back to himself once again.]

Bringing back those memories can only make it worse than it already was--enough clues, and he might unlock that box, and--whew--all the troubles come out all at once, so, when I say foreknowledge is dangerous, I don't mean only because it risks paradoxes. I mean because we rarely understand it, and often we can't do anything about it, even without a paradox, even without a fixed point, sometimes there just isn't a better choice.

[A brief rhetorical pause, there.]

So, what's this mean, it means no more spoilers for Sandshoes, and it means you lot are going to have to be careful about what you tell him. It's hard, yeah, I know, been doing it for a while, but if you care about this face-

[He gives the camera another quick tilt downward to his younger self...]

-or about this face-

[...then back up to himself again.]

-I trust you all to find a way. You need to talk to someone, talk to me, pretty sure I'm from after all of you in my timeline, well... almost all, obviously. Let me know if you've got questions, complaints, doubts, all that sort of thing.

Comments

[video, private]

[justwords]

Who talked? I’ll come sit with him if that’s alright?

[spacepeterpan]

...way I heard, near enough to ev'rybody, a bit. Doesn't come naturally to you lot to hesitate, not a problem you'd normally have. ...and yeah, 'course, just remember, nothing after the Master took the TARDIS.

[justwords]

[Martha looks down for a second, taking a deep breath before looking up. ]

I thought he.... I mean you... oh sod it, I'm saying he because you're different yeah? In your own ways. Anyway, I thought it was better... where are you?

[spacepeterpan]

[The Doctor brightens just a little at Martha fumbling for the way to express which version of him she's talking about.]

...ha, yeah, third person's fine, and... yeah, thought it was getting better, myself, but, well, here we are. Singing meadows of Fayren, not a bad place to have a bit of a pass out, I s'pose.

[private]

[justwords]

[She responds when she is finished speaking with Rose. ]

No. suppose not. He's breathing and not regenerating or anything like that? Are you okay? I mean.... I know she is upset and that you are technically him.... but she shouldn't be talking to you like that. It's not your fault... is it?

[Video]

[bigbadrose]

[Rose just explodes, dumps the banana split with two spoons in the trash and storms about the park.]

What do you bloody well want me to do, Doctah?!

I try to avoid him and get space and he cries and hates it! I tell him nothing and he decides he must have upset me in the future. I try to explain the bloody difference to him, and he pulls all this shit all over again!

He can't even be a good friend to me!

Give me one bloody good reason I shouldn't give up!

Re: [Video]

[spacepeterpan]

Oi, first, calm down.

[The Doctor raises a hand into view in a soothing gesture, peering into the camera--he's calm, analytic, deliberately counterbalancing her intensity. He pauses a second, getting a pensive look and making a face like he doesn't love it, then continues.]

...have a word with River Song, if you can, she's...

[...he actually isn't sure how much Rose already knows, so he'll play it safe.]

...another time-traveler, we've met a few times, but never in the right order.

[He flashes sort of a boyish, sheepish smile.]

She's got a knack for knowing what not to share, well, learned from the best, didn't she, point is, yeah, he won't like it, 'course we won't, we never like being out of the loop, should've seen our face th'first time we ran into River, although, she won't remember that, yet, probably best not to bring it up with her, in fact...

...anyway, sorry, yeah, as I was saying, point is, of course he won't like it, but he'll understand there are things you can't tell him. We're careful not to give him foreknowledge he can't have, and he'll be just as much a friend as he ever was. Yeah, you'll have to keep secrets from someone you care about, maybe even lie to him, you'll have to be strong, and I'm sorry... but I haven't got the least doubt you can be that.

[He pauses a second, there, getting one of those looks like he's so, so much older than his face lets on, with this bittersweet, old man's smile.]

...'course, not for me to say you have to; not as though you owe us, and certainly not me. So, you tell me, Rose Tyler, what you want, and I'll try to help as best I can.

Re: [Video]

[bigbadrose]

[Good job, 11. That was, bar none, the worst way to make Rose try to calm down, and it's pretty obvious as the air all but crackles with electricity.]

Your wife. [Feral snarl.] She's. Your. Wife.

Because apparently Mr. "I don't do domestics" [Badly attempts a Northern Manchester accent.] had noooooooo problem marrying how many was it now? Cleopatra? Who else is there?

[Bitter laugh.] Obviously not me, because I'm human, I'm fragile! Not a fixed point or weapon made to murder you!!

Oh no, I was just willing to give up everything for you and you can't even give up enough pride to admit I did what you couldn't and you bloody well needed me too!

Fuck you.

Talk to your wife... [Another feral growl.] Yeah, you'd like that wouldn't you? [Fake voice.] "Oh, golly gee! Maybe Rose and River will be best bosom buddies and get married to each other like Cleo! Yay!"

[Feral growl.]

Dream on.

Isn't it bad enough that I can't trust you anymore?! My own best friend?! Or hey, maybe that doesn't matter, because you've got new friends. Keep movin' on, innit?

[Deep breath.]

Yeah, no, fuck you. Go sod yourself you great [Echoes a bunch of swears from his 9th life whenever he was stressed.]

Whatever Tie-Stripes told you wasn't nearly enough, because I didn't tell 'im nuffin' but for what I thought he was worse off not knowin'!

What do I want? What do I want?

Since when has that mattered a whit?

I want you to not be married. I want my best friend back. I want to trust that you won't do things like force me to abandon Jack because [Hand flails] Fixed points are so scary! And when he saved both our lives again like he's been doin' all along -- not worry about never seein' him again or never even saying goodbye because someone was too busy manipulating me inta tryin' ta stay with me Mum!

What do I want?

Well, I'll tell ya what I don't want.

Don't ever compare me to anyone else evar again. Don't lie to me and tell me you want me to find you, when you clearly don't . [Growl!] And quit lyin' to yerself that it's just my 21st century values holdin' me back. It's not. I made my choice a long time ago, and I fought through things you couldn't. And for what? To break your heart again?! Do you think I enjoy this? Because I don't, I really don't.

If you weren't jealous of me and Jack, why'd you get in our way? Why'd he [Gestures to 10 on the camera] have ta sleep with him the minute I told him I had?

No, no, you know what? It doesn't matter. Maybe jealousy isn't a TimeLord emotion, but I don't evar want to be as emotionally repressed, as fucked up, or as bloody stupid as you.

Thread jack with Permission

[justwords]

Hey, You're alright... maybe alright isn't the best choice of phrase. In fact it's a pretty shitty one if you ask me. I.... think this whole situation is Barmy and I think you, Jack and I should talk... soon.

[ Preferably now and without any bloodshed but Martha can't be picky ]

Are you at the park?

Threadjack #2 with permission

[mira_strauss]

[Rose had expressed a great deal of this to Mirajane the first time they'd talked, and really... Mirajane's inability to handle all this drama is what had earned Rose her round of drinks at the Fairy Tail bar in the first place. This kind of angst was on such a cataclysmic scale that she could understand why she'd sent the doctor into a spiraling depression in the first place. She would always be on Rose's side, she would always try to look out for her because Rose was her friend, but right now she felt that the best thing for all those involved, Rose included, was to take a break and come back to this.]

Rose? Would you mind meeting up to talk? I love you like a sister, but I think you're going to have to try to calm down if you don't want things to get worse. I know you're hurt, you feel downright betrayed, and I know it's from the person you loved most, so this is not going to be easy by any means... but can you trust me on this, that it's probably best to take a step back from this for a bit? Talking to him is probably just going to get you angrier because he lies all the time because he thinks it's the only way to keep everyone safe, but I've never lied to you and never will.

[Rose was strong enough to handle any truth, no matter how brutal. The Doctor? Not as much so.]

[private]

[spacepeterpan]

[If her intention was to wound him for daring to say things she didn't like hearing, well, it does work, in a sense. After all, there are few worse ways to hurt someone that to profoundly not live up to their high expectations of you. Which might have been said to run both ways, but she's already made it clear her expectations aren't all that lofty or heroic, anymore, and his are merely at the "is a very good friend" level. And yet, there she is, Rose Tyler, going so far as to echo Davros.

So much for that bit about trusting them, since she's pretty much immediately gone straight to a spoilers-infused temper-tantrum. Does that mean he's going to have to monitor and police her to make sure she doesn't decide to take it out on his younger self, as well? Is he going to have to enlist others for that? Is that what their situation's going to be, now?]

Yes, brilliant, thanks, we'll be locking that before he wakes up, thought I was pretty clear, but yeah, all right, call it a dress rehearsal. You're cross, got that. You're jealous, got that, too, 'though it's of someone centuries in your future and centuries in your past because... what, you didn't get to keep two versions of Sandshoes at once, but also all for yourself? Yeah, not quite sure how you're imagining that would've worked out, or what you think things are like with River or anyone else 'though I'm pretty sure it's not what you'd want.

[Ugh, seriously, how do humans put up with these things? Oh, right, by acting like they're on soap operas and spinning each other up until someone has a nervous breakdown. That bit's already been done, so, what, repeat the cycle? No thanks. He shakes his head and takes a second to rub his face.]



Where next, then, you've got quite a list, there, but all right:

Since when has what you wanted mattered to me, always, does that mean I can always do what you want, no, obviously, no one can always do what you want, I'm a Time Lord, not a magic genie, I do the best I can with what I've got, and I like to think it's not so bad, on a good day, but not ev'ry day's a good day. You've seen some of my best and worst, you know that already.

Do I move on, yeah, I do, because I have to, because you don't live hundreds of years, blimey, traveling with me you're lucky to make it ten. Why, d'you lot not? Where's your best girl from when you were three? Where's Mickey Smith now? Neither of us treated him like he deserved, so, shall we knock each other about the head for that for all eternity, or move on? We don't stop caring, though, never, we hope he finds something good--he did, by th'way, I should hope you'll be happy to know--and try to do better the next time? Much as I've missed her, I prefer Sarah Jane having her own life, doing brilliant things of her own, not just following me about ev'rywhere 'til she drops. So, yeah, I move on, but I don't forget any of you.

Do I get jealous, obviously, everybody does now and then, can't tell you ev'rything going on in his head, actually... not even sure why there was so much snogging back then...

[He makes a sort of grossed out face, there, like he's really not particularly comfortable with it, himself, and shakes his head like there's not much he can do about it now.]

...meant t'be an action hero thing, I s'pose, try and stay away from the stuff by and large, myself.

[...that's enough about jealousy, for now, because that's going to be a conversation of quite another tone, and it's a much more complicated one for him than for his previous incarnation. He pauses a moment, glancing down at his younger self, then at the camera again. It's all awfully unpleasant, but it's things he's mostly more-or-less made peace with centuries ago. Even so, he's baring more of himself than he really likes to, and it's clear in his expression.]

I know he-... ...I know I hurt you, back then, Rose, maybe, probably here, too, and I cannot say enough how sorry I am. ...not sure I could have done better, being who I was, doesn't mean I regret it any less, but I never meant to. Maybe someone else would've been better for you, maybe th'way you met me first, but it's a.. selfish, organic thing, regeneration, we change into who we need to be for ourselves, not who everyone around us needs us t'be. After the Time War, I needed to learn to really feel again, you're the one who said 'emotionally repressed,' and--whew--well, no one feels strongly like this fellow on the grass, here, live wire, he is, never knows when to stop. ...wasn't any way to repay you for all you did for me, though, and I am, and will always be... sorry... for that.

[Video][locked to 11]

[guitar_hero]

Oh that's torn it. Thank you. Glad we're here to make everyone's lives so much better.

[im_with_stupid]

[She slumped a bit as she replied.] "So... guessing I should stay away from that you, then?" [she asked, softly.]

[spacepeterpan]

[The Doctor smiles a bit more weakly, at that. GDI Amy you know he hates seeing you upset, even if he's going to stubbornly put a brave face on it to avoid getting you any more upset.]

...ah. ...well, I think 'long as you're careful. Take a page from River's book, try and keep spoilers t'yourself, even if he doesn't like it. We never do like being out of the loop, and I know he may not make it easy, but it's important.

[He smiles a little more, giving her that look he usually does just before a grandfatherly kiss to the forehead, although they're talking by video phone, so.]

Not a doubt you can manage, if you're up for it, it's details he's got to avoid, he knows we'll have other companions, meet new friends, just... not how, or when. ...nothing lasts forever, but best we don't spend all our days regretting it before it's happened, eh?

[...by which he really means, the Doctor can't hang on to his companions forever, as he tried to tell her, after the minotaur's prison. After all, there are three in particular weighing on this Doctor's mind, plus another he's worried about.]

Regretting what you've done is bad enough; regretting what you haven't yet... whew...

[im_with_stupid]

"We both know I've never been good at keeping secrets from you, Doctor. I've been trying. But I'm the one who told you about seeing you die when I thought you were a ganger... I couldn't even keep Rory's birthday gift a secret from him."

[She shook her head.]

"I never want to hurt you. Any of you."

[spacepeterpan]

Well, never promised it'd be easy.

[It's one of those bittersweet smiles, still, although he raises his eyebrows a little.]

And I know, Amy... I know. And you know that I trust you.

[After all, they've both long since done Lake Silencio--both the before and the after. In retrospect, he has a good idea how she must have been struggling, from a couple of comments she let slip, from her reactions to certain passing comments of his own; he also knows she remembers convincing him to leap blindly into the Space 1969 Affair against his better judgment, on her word alone.]

You need me to help, or River--she's got plenty of practice--don't hesitate to ask.

[Video]

[mira_strauss]

Ugh... I swear you timelords are so much more emotionally fragile than humans sometimes.

[Video]

[spacepeterpan]

[The Doctor replies with an enigmatic you think so? sort of smile.]

...maybe. We can talk about it, I s'pose, if it'll help. Privately's probably best.

[As in, it might involve things Sandshoes really shouldn't be hearing--which also means she'd have to keep that to herself, on top of anything she already knows. The only indication of that implicit agreement is the inquiring raise of his eyebrows.]

[Video]

[mira_strauss]

[Mirajane's just going to... sigh. Rose dragged her into this mess, she'd volunteered, so she might as well see it through as far as she can possibly go with it.]

Don't worry, I can lie bold face to mini you if I have to. I'm not going to lie to Rose though.

[And after everything she talked about with 10 before he snapped, she feels like she's got a better handle on how things are between the lot of them]

You are going to probably have a rough time Doctor, because if Rose Tyler has shown me anything, it's that she is a very strong and determined woman.

[Video]

[spacepeterpan]

Blimey, if ever there was an understatement, well, it's all right, I've known a few, you've met Amy and River, you'd probably love Donna, too.

[He smiles a bit wistfully to himself at that.]

And- ah, well, long list, more than a thousand years across all of space and time, you make a few friends, and I'm generally very selective, when it comes to my friends. Very best thing you could ask for, your friends.

Anyway, I'll be all right, your concern's appreciated, though, very kind of you.

private | video

[polyandrist]

[River is watching everything of course, because she's the master at doing... well this and she's trying to gauge how bad it's going to be with the rest of them. And clearly the answer is badly.

She'd never expected Rose to act like such a spoiled brat.

So it's all she can do is sigh and say:]

Well.

private

[spacepeterpan]

[The Doctor flashes a slightly weary I know, right sort of smile back at River. What in the world is Rose imagining their relationship is like, to be jealous of it? If Rose had a relationship with him remotely like the one he has with River, she'd be climbing the walls ten times harder than she already is.]

...yeah, sorry, on the bright side, I've got a feeling you won't have to worry about her asking you for help.

[...sure, it's not much of a bright side, but you take what you can get.]

private

[polyandrist]

[That makes her laugh a little, and she settles back into her office chair, glad that she's at work and she's not at home, because honestly she needs to settle herself into not being so angry. River is bad at being this angry, and she doesn't like that about herself. The last time she was this angry, River had made a dalek beg for mercy. It perhaps wasn't the best look on her.]

Well, of course not. Wouldn't want help from the married weapon, now would she?

Honestly though, I thought...

[River lets the sentence dangle, but it's clear that whatever she thought, it was that Rose would have been better than this.]

private

[spacepeterpan]

...River...

[It's said in a gentle tone, but it's definitely that "please don't do a thing I'll regret and probably have to clean up after" reaction that she knows so well. Or in this case, don't take the emotional flailings of a girl who either wants things that can't happen, or who doesn't even know exactly what she wants, too personally.]

...been rough on all of them, hoped it wouldn't be quite so bad, but...

video

[guitar_hero]

[eyeroll then brief gesture meaning: fine. He remembers how little he could handle anything at that point so he's more than willing to not speak to Twiggy. And so far he hasn't actually said anything to him in passing in months so once again he's ahead of the curve]