Newspaper - Saturday Edition

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[Did you subscribe to The Genessia Tribune? Did you even remotely wish you had a newspaper or some other form of media to refer to for news, weather, and current events? Then you're in luck! There's a paperboy riding through the streets of Genessia flinging newspapers onto doorsteps or, if you're unlucky, through your window. Even remote locations in the other cities will still get a paper if one of the residents ever wanted one. The Paperboy is just that dedicated.]

[And if you're one of the following people, and you happen to subscribe to the newspaper, the Paperboy may or may not have flung the newspaper through that person's window and/or broke something in the area: Orihime Inoue, Blake Belladonna, Jim Moriarty, James T. Kirk, and Ruby Rose.]



Increasing Employment

The job fair appears to have been a highly successful event. Although some citizens went through many, MANY careers during the week, a lot of necessary duties were fulfilled even if for only one day. Other sole proprietors established by newcomers to Genessia announced that their new businesses were also hiring, including Cafe Caradja which is celebrating its grand opening in Everglade, and the Winter-Hobbes Clinic which is accepting new patients for hypnotherapy sessions.

Singles Ads

Bear-Slaying Geek
SWM age 17 seeks SF age 16-19, must be cute. Interested in video games and nothing else. Favorite foods include everything under the sun. Call me to hear my story about killing a helpless giant bear all by my lonesome!

Are you a lonely sadsack? Maybe placing an ad will change your luck! Fill out the form below and send it in to see your ad in next week's paper! Names will not be shown, so be sure to include your radio frequency number. Who knows? You might meet someone dreamy! Or a creepy stalker! Try your luck today!

<b>Status/Race/Gender:</b> [Ex. SWF = single white female] <b>Seeking Status/Race/Gender:</b> [If you're not picky, leave that letter out.] <b>Hobbies and Interests:</b> <b>Favorite Foods:</b> <b>Noteworthy Traits and Accomplishments:</b>

Zombies on the Decline

The appearance of the lovingly entitled "Uber Zombies" has seen a sharp decline, thanks to the quick actions of City Guardian Harry Dresden and his devoted minions. Though the cause of these suddenly large zombies remains a mystery, citizens have admitted that it's nice to go for a morning jog and not trip over a dismembered corpse along the way. "Hardly anyone's getting eaten now," one satisfied citizen reported. "That's a plus!"

Weatherman on Drugs?

This week's weather forecaster appeared to suffer a nervous breakdown after delivering what appears to be an erratic and nonsensical prediction of weather patterns for the upcoming week. Such predictions included dangerous lightning storms, extreme differences in temperature, heavy rain and flooding, and even a rain of pigeon poop. The weatherman, normally unflappable and bald, became a hysterical raving mess (and still bald), gibbering "We're all screwed! We're so screwed!" before stuffing his suitcases and running out the door.

New Advice Column

The Genessia Tribue is proud to announce that an advice columnist has just been hired. Please submit any and all requests for anonymous advice to our office, care of 'Dear Tabby'. All responses will be issued on a weekly or biweekly basis depending on the volume of incoming mail.


Your Weather Forecast
Genessia
*Sunday, December 15 - Typhoon. High 38 F / Low 22 F
*Monday, December 16 - Sunny! High 117 F / Low -39 F
*Tuesday, December 17 - Raining Cats and Dogs. High 36 F / Low 27 F
*Wednesday, December 18 - Blizzard. High 35 F / Low 23 F
*Thursday, December 19 - Lightning Storm. High 39 F / Low 32 F
*Friday, December 20 - Tornado. High 47 F / Low 39 F
*Saturday, December 21 - Sand Storm. High 44 F / Low 32 F

Attleton
*Sunday, December 15 - Sunny! High 48 F / Low 27 F
*Monday, December 16 - Mostly sunny. High 54 F / Low 28 F
*Tuesday, December 17 - Mostly sunny. High 53 F / Low 30 F
*Wednesday, December 18 - Sunny! High 58 F / Low 39 F
*Thursday, December 19 - Lightning storm. High 56 F / Low 21 F
*Friday, December 20 - Cloudy. High 29 F / Low 17 F
*Saturday, December 21 - Sandstorm. High 33 F / Low 15 F

Everglade
*Sunday, December 15 - Few showers. High 46 F / Low 37 F
*Monday, December 16 - Sandstorm. High 47 F / Low 33 F
*Tuesday, December 17 - Partly cloudy. High 46 F / Low 38 F
*Wednesday, December 18 - Rain. High 43 F / Low 29 F
*Thursday, December 19 - Partly cloudy. High 38 F / Low 29 F
*Friday, December 20 - Light rain. High 40 F / Low 34 F
*Saturday, December 21 - Few showers. High 43 F / Low 37 F

Fayren
*Sunday, December 15 - Windy/PM light rain. High 54 F / Low 53 F
*Monday, December 16 - Rain/wind. High 55 F / Low 42 F
*Tuesday, December 17 - Tornado. High 45 F / Low 41 F
*Wednesday, December 18 - Showers/wind. High 51 F / Low 43 F
*Thursday, December 19 -Scattered showers. High 47 F / Low 37 F
*Friday, December 20 - Ice storm. High 49 F / Low 48 F
*Saturday, December 21 - Ice storm. High 51 F / Low 45 F

Nova City
*Sunday, December 15 - Pigeon poop. High 50 F / Low 38 F
*Monday, December 16 - Windy/partly cloudy. High 52 F / Low 38 F
*Tuesday, December 17 - Partly cloudy. High 54 F / Low 39 F
*Wednesday, December 18 - PM showers. High 50 F / Low 42 F
*Thursday, December 19 - Showers. High 50 F / Low 38 F
*Friday, December 20 - Typhoon. High 52 F / Low 35 F
*Saturday, December 21 - Partly cloudy. High 52 F / Low 34 F


(OOC: Would you like to submit a story, or be featured in this paper? Let me know! Here's a list of columns I'd like to see:
*Spotlight on Genessia Citizens
*Horoscopes
*Movie Reviews)

Also, apologies that this is a day late! A three-hour shift became an eight and a half hour shift when someone called in sick.

Comments

[no_love_potions]

[Sigh. He guesses that's a fair enough sentiment on her part. She had fought just as hard as he did that day, minus a shout-out in the local paper.]

I don't write the papers, and I can't help who they decide to shove all the credit on.

But I'm not laughing at you. A lot of people are alive right now because of what you did, probably me too. If that's not worth more to you than some mention in the newspaper, I don't know what to tell you.

[scarlet_discord]

You may not print the damn papers, but I doubt you'll be scrambling to correct them.

[More shuffling sounds as she starts trying to climb.]

And yeah, saving lives is more important, but if you think that means I don't have the right to get pissed off you're out of your head.

I have been reviled and used my entire goddamn life while other people who do the same work or less, or are actually bastards, get to play hero. You think your little pep talk means anything when the same thing starts happening here? I don't need this!

[no_love_potions]

[Okay, HE doesn't need this either. He's already out in a damned typhoon chasing down some twenty year old kid who just had a tantrum about a newspaper story, he doesn't need to get yelled at by that same kid about not being appreciated enough.]

So, what do you want me to do about it? Call the paper and tell them to print a special apology just for you?

News flash, kid, the world isn't lining up to hand out gold stars for doing the right thing. Nine times out of time, all you get for sticking your neck out is a thorough asskicking, a ton of crap and sometimes you even get to watch people you care about get hurt or worse. And if you're really lucky you live to do it all over again another day.

If that's not what you're looking for, feel free to stay home. Hell, I wouldn't blame you if you did.

[scarlet_discord]

[She hisses through her teeth. He doesn't get it. He thinks she's just some jealous kid instead of someone who is simply burned out on being kicked down every single time she tries to do something good.]

How about you start by stopping with the goddamn lectures? That is what I want. I have heard it all before, and it is always from guys in positions of authority, relative wealth, and community trust. Do you know what a hypocrite you sound like going on about how life is just this tough when your ass is getting fame and a salary out of it?

[She goes quiet for a while while she tries to scramble her way out of the pit. Muffled swearing and scraping sounds. Finally she reaches the top of the mound, panting for air.]

Being yelled at for being unhappy don't make it any easier for me to stick the hero job despite the bullshit. So cut it out.

...I'm going to find a bar and drink until the world sucks less now.

[no_love_potions]

[Harry just manages to bite back on this new temper of his and keep from going off about just how much this life of his had earned him. Every beating, every scar, every time he watched an innocent life crushed, or a good man crippled or killed. It's a struggle but he manages it.]

[Instead, he sighs and rubs a hand over his face. She was angry and clearly that approach wasn't helping. Maybe another one.]

Alright, do that, I'll even give you a ride to one if you want. And after that, how about a job?

[scarlet_discord]

[She picks her way down the side of the mound--and there's a brief grunt and scuffle, and the picture tumbles a few times. Then she goes on.]

[A long pause at this suggestion. What is he thinking? What is his angle? It's not that she thinks he's a bad guy, but she promised herself. Never work for someone you don't know you can trust. Never put yourself under someone else's power.]

I...

...need some whiskey and a few minutes to think.