genessia | PSA from the Attleton office

[ Oh look Genessia, it's another one of these PSA's from the Attleton Guardian's office, sent over the network and read by Attleton's local radio and TV stations. ]

1. We are aware of the problem of ducks regularly causing traffic jams on Main Street. We are taking it seriously. Nevertheless, I have to ask Attleton's animal lovers to stop calling us with alarmist reports of "There are innocents about to be murdered by death machines right here on Main Street!"

2. Please stop filing charges against the wild Spearows that were stealing food in Attleton during the annual pokemon visit. We issued a bounty on them and the ones who weren't apprehended are long gone. No, we can't bring them back so Judge Judith can put them on trial on court TV.

3. If they wish, Deputies will be given the opportunity to attend classes in Criminal Justice at Attleton University as workload permits.

4. The Attleton Guardian's office is looking to fill a Deputy position.

- Volunteer position: unpaid
- Full-time (with allowances made in scheduling for a second paid job)
- Combat skills necessary, preferably capable fighter even without using magic or supernatural powers
- Experience in law enforcement, military or similar preferred
- Out-of-town candidates welcome but must be willing to move to Attleton
- Must be capable of following orders and working in a team, including work with pokemon
- Not afraid of ducks

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

That is why you need someone to have the patience to help them cross. Ducks can actually be very sweet if you get to know them.

That sounds awful. I mean... I don't think I can heal someone from that... But even if it's not as a deputy, maybe consider me for at least a healer or sorts where my job is to just making it so if you got seriously hurt, it makes it like it never happened.

Also can stop people from poisoning you. If they do I fix that right up as well. I can defend myself when out of the field. I specialize in the frying pan and my hair.

Maybe I should call you the next time we have a ducks on main street problem, you seem to have a good idea how to handle this.

Fortunately he is a pendant-bearer and was revived. But. Yes. I don't think anything short of that can repair the damage he took. I wouldn't expect you to.

I'm not going to turn down a healer, or someone who can stop poison. There are many people here who can kill. Not so many who can heal.

What do you mean, you specialize on your hair? Is that a weapon?

[ He's trying to imagine it and can only come up with something like these Medusa pictures he has seen in books. Is Rapunzel actually a Medusa?! ]

Just call me the Duck Wrangler.

I've noticed a good few healers though, but yeah fighters seem to have more numbers.

Well I can disarm someone with it anyway, someone helped me with that one.

That's something else. I have to admit I'd like to see that, regardless whether you join us as Deputy or not. I'm curious to see it. I've never heard of someone use their hair like this. Although you did mention your skills with a frying pan before.

I would be happy to show you regardless. It's always good to know of ones skills just in case.

Thank you, I would appreciate the display. It's always good to know more about unconventional weapons, isn't it? You seem to be an expert in these.

I never actually knew I could do it until I knocked someone out with one. Quite a few times I knocked them out, actually.

Well, yes, it's astounding what we are capable of when we are fearing for our lives and are in dire need of creative solutions.

Well some of them wasn't actually because I feared for my life, I was more surprised and it was just a reaction to that.

Close enough. Well, it works, anyway. Is that how you figured out the frying pan, too?

It is actually. I mean never had to hit someone before they broke into my tower. I just grabbed the first thing I could.

PSA from the Attleton office - text

private text

ugh why did i talk about voice in my last tag when i even have "text" in the subject. sorry!

text;

Re: text;

text;

Re: text;

text;

Re: text;

text;

Re: text;

text;