captain_by_the_book: (blargh?)
Captain Cassian Andor ([personal profile] captain_by_the_book) wrote in [community profile] genessia2018-03-10 12:40 am

PSA from the Attleton office - text

[ Oh look Genessia, it's another one of these PSA's from the Attleton Guardian's office, sent over the network and read by Attleton's local radio and TV stations. ]

1. We are aware of the problem of ducks regularly causing traffic jams on Main Street. We are taking it seriously. Nevertheless, I have to ask Attleton's animal lovers to stop calling us with alarmist reports of "There are innocents about to be murdered by death machines right here on Main Street!"

2. Please stop filing charges against the wild Spearows that were stealing food in Attleton during the annual pokemon visit. We issued a bounty on them and the ones who weren't apprehended are long gone. No, we can't bring them back so Judge Judith can put them on trial on court TV.

3. If they wish, Deputies will be given the opportunity to attend classes in Criminal Justice at Attleton University as workload permits.

4. The Attleton Guardian's office is looking to fill a Deputy position.

- Volunteer position: unpaid
- Full-time (with allowances made in scheduling for a second paid job)
- Combat skills necessary, preferably capable fighter even without using magic or supernatural powers
- Experience in law enforcement, military or similar preferred
- Out-of-town candidates welcome but must be willing to move to Attleton
- Must be capable of following orders and working in a team, including work with pokemon
- Not afraid of ducks
stairsbro: (talk; anyway heres wonderwall)

text;

[personal profile] stairsbro 2018-03-12 04:24 am (UTC)(link)
you sure you want me to bc now its definitely happening
you couldve put a stop to this
im going to dedicate the first series to you

no its gonna be a massive hit
stairsbro: (blank; oh?)

[personal profile] stairsbro 2018-03-12 08:14 pm (UTC)(link)
you cant speak for the entire population man
people fucking love birds
some people here fuck birds bc they love birds that much
but not the small birds
the bird people

you cant now
its too late
ducks forever
stairsbro: (blank; rosey)

[personal profile] stairsbro 2018-03-12 10:58 pm (UTC)(link)
what are the laws regarding beastality around here
theres so many species of being around here
i definitely dipped into xenophilia unintentionally
like would the dragons count as illegal??
but do you think the bird people still have those crazy labyrinth privates
with the trap doors and shit
and the dudes with the long ass barbed dicks???
are the incapatible genitals legal
Edited 2018-03-12 22:59 (UTC)
stairsbro: hamsfreth (talk; true but he shouldnt say it)

[personal profile] stairsbro 2018-03-13 08:13 pm (UTC)(link)
so like if you consent to a vampire and they accidentally murder you midbanging
is that like
still legal
i mean you said it was cool to bloodplay
and say a pokemon can talk to you with its psychic powers...


[ Welcome to leadership. It involves kids asking the tough questions. ]

do you know any lawyers
i cant remember anyone coming in here actually being a laywer
stairsbro: (talk; woah there)

[personal profile] stairsbro 2018-03-19 02:19 am (UTC)(link)
never heard of them
what about consensual sex killing


[ the love interests weren't human. ]