I'm Not Crazy, I'm Just a Little Unwell

[leekspins]

WHO: Orihime Inoue
WHAT: Managing to find a psychiatrist, Orihime goes for her first and last session. The voice in her head is getting stronger.
WHEN: July 1, 2014 - Afternoon
WHERE: Attleton
NOTES: This will probably be a long log. If you want to skip to the end and read the part where your character can run into her on the street, feel free!


It was a nice office, Orihime thought, as she eased herself into a prone position on the couch. The leather creaked quietly beneath her. Dr. Stone, a man in a nice suit took out a pad of paper and settled in on his knee, tilting it in a way that Orihime couldn't see the notes he made. He made no effort at small talk. Was she supposed to start? Was he still getting ready?

"Is this where I talk about my childhood? Hee hee!" she grinned, cracking a joke to try and hide how nervous she truly was.

The psychiatrist just stared at her until the smile faded from her face, evidently not appreciating her humor.

"You need to take this seriously, Miss Inoue, if what you told me is true. Your symptoms are fairly serious: Disembodied voices--"

"Just the one," Orihime corrected quickly, trying to shrink back from the man's piercing stare.

"...A disembodied voice," he corrected crisply, "hallucinations, and violent thoughts? You may be too far advanced for anything I can prescribe or advance. For your own safety and the safety of others, you may have to consider the very real possibility of a mental institution and a straitjacket." He watched her to see her reaction. She stayed quiet, staring up at the ceiling with a brow furrowed in quiet fear and melancholy. "Do you disagree?"

"...No," she said in a subdued voice.

"Interesting." He made a mark on his notepad. "Most would at least offer some sort of protest, and proclaim vehemently not to be crazy enough to warrant that. Why would you agree so readily?"

"Because I don't want to hurt anybody. If that's what's best, then it's what I'm willing to do."

He quirked his mouth, bobbed his head, and made a few more notes.

Orihime watched him for a few moments. When he didn't say anything further, her worry bubbled up. "Is that what you're recommending?"

"Not yet." He wrote some more.

In a way, she was relieved. He didn't think she was hopeless. ...At least, she prayed that was the case.

Finally he looked up. "When did these symptoms first begin to manifest?"

Orihime exhaled softly. "About two years ago, I think. It was before I came here. A friend of mine took me on an expedition into space. But there was a creature there. An Aeon. We didn't know it was there, and it didn't want us telling anyone, so it abducted us and held us prisoner...tortured us...made us experience day after day of living nightmares." Her fingers laced together on her stomach, and tightened.

"For how long?"

"I don't know," she admitted. "I had no sense of time. I'd estimate about six weeks."

He was staring at her again. It made her uncomfortable, but she said nothing, waiting until he gestured to indicate that she should continue.

"I don't remember much of what happened after that. My body was rotten. If not for the power our sheer will granted us in that city, I probably would have died a long time ago. My friends defeated the creature, and they put me in the hospital until I could recover. I thought, when I woke up, that the worst was over. But I could still hear that voice, telling me awful things. I couldn't use my Bending without the results becoming twisted and monstrous."

"Bending?" he echoed, raising a slim brow.

She paused, glancing back at him. "Oh. Er. In that city, we could shape reality with our willpower. We were supposed to use that power to repair worlds that had their realities damaged, and eventually, create worlds of our own."

His gaze was hooded. "So you were like gods there."

Orihime's face colored. "I...I guess that's one way to view it..."

"Do you believe yourself to be a god, or goddess?"

"No no, definitely not!" she said hastily, starting to sit up. He held up his hand to still her motions, and she paused...then lowered herself down again onto the couch. "We had unique abilities. But I'm still human. And I can't Bend anymore, so it isn't as if I can guarantee an immortal life." She paused, realizing he was writing again, and waited for the sound to stop. "I had to practice Bending a lot for things to start going back to normal. If I tried to create a sandwich, it was moldy and crawling with maggots. Trying to create a watermelon made this horrible monster appear that attacked us. I wanted to stop creating altogether, but my friends insisted that I keep trying. And they were right. I got more control. The voice started to fade after that."

He looked at her, sitting back in his chair. "What did the voice tell you back then?"

Orihime fell silent, her guilt pooling heavily in her gut. She didn't want to repeat what the voice said. If she acknowledged it, it would just get louder, rejoicing in her response.

Tell him.

She shut her eyes, swallowing hard.

"It told me...to kill. Friends, people I didn't know...it told me why they had to die. The things they'd done...what they thought about me...I was supposed to deliver their punishment and make them suffer for their sins." She hugged her stomach, guilt burning the back of her throat. "Sometimes, when I looked at them, I could see blood on their faces, and streaming out of their eyes. And it wasn't real! I could hardly look at anyone at all, it made me so sick and scared." Her voice was starting to hitch.

"And what does it tell you now?"

Orihime was quiet for a long, long moment. "...The same things."

"Do you think the voice is right?"

She blinked, feeling her eyes starting to burn. "No."

He wasn't saying anything, just probing her with that unblinking stare.

"...But sometimes...sometimes I think it might be right, and it...it terrifies me," she confessed, hot tears leaking from the corners of her eyes and running down her temple to vanish in her hair. "I wouldn't normally think something so awful, but it keeps saying it over and over and over...! I can't make it be quiet anymore a-and...what if it takes over? What if that voice really is my subconscious?" She turned her head to look at the psychiatrist, her eyes dark with fear and misery. "What kind of monster am I?"

He didn't answer her. He rested his cheek in his splayed fingers, sizing her up in silence. When he spoke, he left her question unanswered. "When did the hallucinations start again?"

His refusal to answer her question made her uneasy. He thought she was a monster too, didn't he? Swallowing hard, Orihime blinked back her tears and looked at the ceiling again. "Yesterday."

"What did you see?"

She didn't want to remember it. But he wasn't going to say another word until she told him what he wanted to know. "...I was making a cake. When I cracked the egg, something heavy and wet plopped into the batter. It was bleeding...and screaming... I clapped my hands over my ears and shut my eyes tight. But when I opened them again, there wasn't anything there. Just an egg yolk." She'd thrown out the batter anyway, too sickened to bake anything else.

He set his pad down on his lap, and heaved a long sigh through his nostrils. He removed his glasses, rubbing his fingers over his eyes. "Miss Inoue, I won't lie to you. Your case is serious, but there is a cure."

That was good news. It was great news! She turned her head to look up at him, wiping at her wet cheeks. "What is it?"

He smiled. There was something wrong about the smile. It looked just a little too wide.

"You have to die."

Orihime sat up with a start, grasping at the edge of the sofa with her hand. "W-what...?"

He spread his hands wide as if he were explaining things to a very stupid child. "Isn't it obvious? Death in this place is temporary. When you recover, all of your inflictions will be healed. Including that disgusting diseased brain of yours! Come on, eh?" He leaned forward with a condescending leer. "Do you really value your life over everyone else's? Die." His eyelids lowered slightly.

"Just die."

She stared at him mutely, her heart aching. Was he right...? No. No no no. She clutched at her head and shut her eyes tight, holding her breath. Count to ten. Don't listen.

I know it's you, she quietly told the voice in her head. That's not what he really said.

There was no response, but she could feel a sense of smug, dark amusement. When she opened her eyes, the psychiatrist's expression was alarmed. He was sitting up straight, back pressed against his chair, pen poised. He definitely wasn't smiling that unnatural smile.

Orihime looked up at him helplessly. She opened her mouth to speak. And closed it. Then she rose to her feet, and bowed politely.

"Please excuse me. I'm not feeling very well."

"Miss Inoue--"

She didn't stay to listen. Her feet carried her briskly out the door, out of the office, and quickly down the street. When she got to the bus stop sign, she held tightly to the metal pole and rested her forehead against it. And she cried.

* * * * *

There were no further incidents on the long bus ride back to the Archway. Orihime stared listlessly out the window, her forehead pressed against the glass, until she reached her stop. She stepped out of the bus and stared mutely up at the looming stone gate ahead of her.

What if her hallucination was right? Was dying her only option at this point? She wished she could have known what the psychiatrist had really said to her, but the voice in her head was getting too strong. It could control more than her sight now...it was affecting her hearing too. How long before smell, taste, and touch followed? How long until the rest of her body was overcome?

She looked down at her radio, desperately wanting to call someone, just to hear a friendly voice again. But what if the voice warped that too? She felt...isolated. And she was scared to death.

"What should I do...?" she asked quietly. Despite the heat, her arms were prickled with a million goosebumps. She rubbed at them quietly, then stepped through the gate.

Comments

[virgochains]

Virgo had dug enough holes to bring the whole five cities down but it seemed that after an hour or two they simply filled up again. But at least she wasn't prevented from actually digging until a certain point. Even if that point was a solid square she'd never felt before. Virgo understood the gate between realms, she understood seals and magic barriers, but this place was a bit different. It was far different than the two dimensions she'd been in previously with Lucy.

So perhaps it was with a bit of distraction that the pink-haired maid suddenly popped up right under Orihime's nose right inside the gate and simply stood with a thoughtful look at the ground. "The spirit king and Leo will not like this..." she muttered to herself after several moments.

[leekspins]

Was she...hallucinating again? Because it looked like a maid had just popped up out of the ground like a very large mole right in front of her.

But since nothing about the sight was horrific or blood curdling, Orihime had no choice but to accept the sight as reality.

It still didn't make any sense, though.

"A...anou...won't like what?" she blinked, curling her hand under her chin.

[virgochains]

Virgo blinked and turned towards the voice. Another mage? She hadn't expected there to be so many in a place like this. Her hands went back to folded properly in front of her apron.

"That I'm stuck here again, miss. Do you think I'll be punished?" Instead of worry, it could easily seem like Virgo was hoping for such a fate.

[leekspins]

Stuck here? Punished? None of this was making much sense at all, but she struggled valiantly for comprehension. Maybe this person just lost her necklace that allowed her to pass through the gates. "Do you need help passing through? If you put your hand on my shoulder, I can lead us both out," Orihime offered.

[frigus]

And it was Rukia who was near the gate as Orihime stepped through. She had been overly curious about just where these paths lead and she wanted to check them for herself.

Of course, upon seeing Orihime she smiled, "Inoue! What were you doing out here?"

[leekspins]

Orihime took a step back, startled. She hadn't realized Rukia was so close! The shinigami seemed to be in a good mood. Maybe she was adapting well to this place?

"Oh...I had a doctor's appointment," Orihime admitted. It wasn't a lie; it just didn't fully reflect the truth. Orihime didn't like the idea of hiding things from Rukia, but she had no idea how to even broach the subject of what she was going through.

"Ne, what about you?" She remembered Rukia had favored the pet shop here last time the shinigami had been present in the city. Maybe the habit was still ingrained in Rukia's subconscious.

[frigus]

Doctor...? But wait, that in itself is so strange. Rukia watches her behavior, and the way she seems to write it off so easily makes her suspicious. She's not asking just yet though, she'll answer her question at least.

"I'm simply searching the area, I wanted to get a good feel for where we were. It's a good idea when being in an unfamiliar place after all."

...But.... "...and you've never been sick before, are you feeling okay?"

[leekspins]

Orihime was silent, her smile frozen on her face. Not for the first time she debated desperately on whether or not she should tell Rukia. She didn't want to hide things from her, but she also didn't want to worry her unnecessarily.

In the end, she found herself leaning toward honesty. It would be worse if Orihime did go insane without any warning at all.

"It was a different kind of doctor," she admitted, her smile fading. "A psychiatrist. I've been seeing and hearing weird things lately, and I wasn't really sure what to do." Her shoulders wilted, and she bowed an apology. "Sorry I didn't say anything before. I wasn't really sure what to make of it yet."

[frigus]

She knows all about doctors and such, she knows about different kinds of human doctors from living with Ichigo's family for so long but... this surprises her. A lot. Rukia's eyes widen as she listens to her, never did she think that Orihime would have these sorts of issues.

She's helped her bounce back from depression before, there's no way she's going to sit by and let her friend go through this again.

"You know you can tell me anything, Inoue, we're friends," but she does understand her, she knows admitting that to anyone would be hard. "that does sound... troubling though," she nods, raising a hand to her face as she thinks. She cups her chin, looking down at the ground.

"What sorts of strange things?

[leekspins]

Orihime's cheeks burned. Of course she could tell Rukia anything. So why was it so hard for her now?

Because she was ashamed of it happening, that's why. It made her less capable in a fight. Less able to be of use to her friends and the people she cared about. The last thing she wanted to be was a burden, and at the moment, she felt like she was little else but.

"I suppose if I had to say it in a summarizing way, they're like bits of nightmares, you know? Things that are bloody, or scary, or sad. I really thought I was getting better for a while, but the past two months have been so much worse." She held her hands in front of her with a small ghost of a smile, sighing. "Does this sort of thing ever happen to shinigamis?"

[frigus]

It was good that she was sharing with her, she wouldn't have to shake it out of her. If Orihime had started to become upset and say she was a burden ever again, then Rukia would have had to dive into action and shout at her much like she had previously. Her friend was a valuable companion, she never wanted to see her upset anyway.

But at her question the shinigami nods, looking back up to her friend, "yes, we've been plagued with these sorts of nightmares too. I... I'll admit to even having been down that same road."

What happened with Kaien caused her such pain for a long time, she didn't think she would ever recover from those nightmares either.

[dramaticals]

Adam had been out of the city for a while now, he hadn't wanted to stay put either way. He was being tracked and watched by the people there, he had known this for a long time now. They couldn't always watch him if he was constantly on the move, right?

So he was out and about, and it was around the time when Orihime was returning to the city. He was around the same area, so when he saw her he stopped.

Actually... he had been avoiding her the past couple days. Not because of anything she did, but because he didn't think he should be this close to a human in all honesty. He had his own beliefs, he didn't trust any of them, and he wanted to go back to being that way. Cold and efficient, that's what he was known for.

So when he saw her he nodded at her at least, but then moved to turn away.

[leekspins]

Adam...? At first she felt a rush of relief. He hadn't been too afraid or polite to shy away from the ugly topic of her mental degradation. If there was anyone she could talk to about what just happened, it was him.

But he was turning away. Her heart sank and her shoulders wilted. He hadn't been by to eat dinner with them either, ever since the pageant. Was he disappointed in her performance too? Perhaps he'd had a change of heart about her madness and felt it would be safer to avoid her altogether.

Her smile faded, the hand she'd raised to wave at him sank slowly back to her side.

Wretched one, you must know by now that you shall know nothing but loneliness.

Orihime put a hand to her head, giving it a light shake. She didn't have time for this now.

Then she heard a wet, ripping sound, and looked up to see Adam's back splitting into two. Flesh pulled apart, stretched thin until taut holes expanded in the skin. The clinging tendrils of flesh snapped, and yellow teeth began to poke out from the raw edges of his gaping back. It looked like some horrible mouth, and the muscle spilling out like a ghastly tongue did nothing to help the image.

Quickly she recoiled, clutching at her hair and shutting her eyes. No, that wasn't real. Adam was fine. His reiatsu was familiar and it hadn't fluctuated, so she clung to that reasoning in a desperate bid to keep her sanity.

[dramaticals]

Adam had been in the process of going back to the city when he felt suddenly uneasy. There was something going on behind him, he had somehow sensed it. The Faunus looked over his shoulder and saw that she was clutching at her head and had shut her eyes. That... wasn't normal at all.

His eyebrows furrowed behind his mask, and he didn't step forward but he did call out to her, "Orihime, what is it?"

[leekspins]

Her breathing had quickened. For a moment she didn't answer. Her hands dragged over her face as she grit her teeth, and hesitantly peeked out at him between the cage of her stiffened fingers.

Although he was merely standing there looking back at her, that wasn't what she saw. She saw his hand move toward his sword. In fearful confusion, she took a step back. "What...what are you doing...?"

"You're too far gone." His lips moved, and his voice came out. Wilt was drawn from Blush. "Didn't you tell me to take care of it if it came to this?"

Again she staggered back, holding out a hand to ward him back.

Cut him down.

"No..."

He's going to kill you. You don't want to die, right?

"I can't do that!"

Then he'll cut your throat. The psychiatrist was right. You'll only be rid of me if you die.

"Adam-san, please, please don't..."

Die.

"HE WOULDN'T DO THAT! IT'S NOT REAL!!!" she screamed. Spinning on her heel, she darted quickly away from the Faunus. He wouldn't.

He would. You're human, after all, and you know how he feels about humans. Did you really believe you would be the exception?

Orihime pumped her arms faster, trying to shut the voice out.

He'll do it. And he'll LOVE IT.

[dramaticals]

...What...?

What...?! He had told her that he would handle it, but he couldn't deny that as he watched her he felt completely frozen. Not because he was afraid, but because he suddenly felt a wave of concern wash over him. He stared in disbelief as she clawed at her face, as she talked to herself and begged him not to do whatever... it was that he was doing.

He was simply so confused.

Should he go after her? Should he stop her? There was something seriously wrong with her, and if she were to be left alone right now he was sure that she would hurt herself.

He had decided he would go after her then. No matter how fast she ran, he was much faster. He took off into the direction she went, and once he was close enough he called out to her, "Orihime hold on!"

Adam would act if she didn't stop though, he wasn't afraid to tackle her to the ground.

[leekspins]

"It's too drastic!" she protested, her voice breaking in panic. She turned onto someone's lawn, dashing through a sprinkler and bolting into the back yard.

Maybe he'll kill you slowly. Saw off pieces of your body, a little at a time. What a sweet revenge on humanity that will be, don't you think?

Orihime's eyes squinted as she whimpered. She needed to get control of herself again. She had to clamp her hands over her ears and shut her eyes tight, but she could hear Adam gaining on her with those decidedly unfairly long legs of his. How was she supposed to outrun someone like him? She couldn't use sonido or flash step.

She nearly tripped over a child's toy left on the ground, and veered sharply to the left.

If you'd just accept fate, it would be over soon. Face death calmly. Don't fight it anymore. It's better to die at the hands of a friend, isn't it?

"STOP IT!!!" she screamed.

[dramaticals]

Even though he was much larger than her, he was faster due to his aura and his strength. She wouldn't ever be able to outrun him, no matter what, and it showed as he continued to tail her. He jumped over said obstacles as well, but when she finally shouted he had enough of this game.

Adam picked up speed in an instant, and he jumped right at her. He had tackled her, but before she hit the ground he moved to roll with her in mid-air. It was him that hit the ground, his back skidding over the grass, and they slowed to a halt. Once they weren't moving, Adam rolled over again so he was back on top.

He had dropped Wilt and Blush on the ground beside them, he was now holding her wrists firmly up by her head, and he stared down at her from behind his mask, "Orihime, calm down. What's going on? Just.... just breathe!"

[beareroflight]

If Orihime passed by the gates of Attleton towards the city of Genessia, he'd notice a familiar face standing by it. It was Lucifer and he was looking at the city of Attleton as if surveying the surroundings. He looked like he was surveying the entire city from his vantage point.

Unfortunately, what Orihime didn't know was Kira was listening in on her conversation with the psychiatrist. He was standing a few meters away, hidden. He used his keen senses which was amplified with his magic to listen in on everything. This girl had a curious answer when Lucifer asked her his question during the competition. And he was right to follow her movements. She was indeed very special. Perhaps he could use that to his advantage.

So for now, Orihime will notice a pleasant expression on the Demon King's features.

[leekspins]

Orihime paused, blinking at the sight of the familiar face. Ah, he was one of the judges, right? Her spiritual senses weren't openly extended, so unless his reiatsu was crushingly obvious, it wasn't something she could detect just at the moment in her current state of turmoil.

"Good afternoon," she greeted him, unsure if he'd seen and recognized her or not. He seemed a little less intense than he had at the pageant...probably because he wasn't asking her insanely difficult hypothetical questions about loved ones being faced with death and destruction.

[beareroflight]

"You are...?", he asked seemingly forgetting her name as he lands only a few steps in front of Orihime. His wings since he didn't want them to show were hidden from plain sight. So it only seemed like he levitated.

"You were in the pageant, yes?", he said with a deep and cold voice. Though there was no darkness in his silver eyes. Just calm and lack of emotions.

[leekspins]

Orihime didn't step back. She was surprised to see him levitate, but in the past four years of her life, she'd honestly seen much weirder. She didn't entirely trust her senses right now, but he seemed real enough. So she inclined her head faintly to answer his question.

"Yes. Orihime Inoue." He was one of the judges, wasn't he? Or did he just highly resemble the one who was asking all of the dark, strange questions.

She wasn't afraid of him. Not yet. He hadn't done anything particularly threatening to warrant an alarmed response from her.

[beareroflight]

"Ah yes", he said scratching his chin for a bit. Then a well-mannered smile emerged. A smile that has been rehearsed for so long. "You're the one who had the interesting talent portion, yes?"

[leekspins]

"Ha ha, you remembered," she grinned, rubbing the back of her neck sheepishly. She should feel embarrassed, but she really can't. The person who taught her how to do such things was a dear friend, and remembered fondly. How could she view any lesson of his with shame? She bowed a little. "I'm glad you enjoyed it! It was a lot of fun to try out on a stage."

[beareroflight]

"Ah yes. I did enjoy your little show", he said with his features going back to its calmer demeanor. "What are you doing here? Is this where you live?"