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[sharpeinolds]

Hey kids!

I know what you're all thinking.

Wow, I can't believe Spiderman finally hit puberty! Aren't his abs amazing, I just want to rub my face all over them.

First of all, thanks, I work out.

Second of all, don't call me Spiderman, lets get that out of the way right now.

Third of all, I just took a nap on the bottom of a cave because I.... accidentally... kicked the fancy Star Wars hologram over there, just wanted to put that out there: Don't kick the hologram. PSA here, kids.

Forth of all, I lost track of what I was listing.

And fifth of all because I'm on a roll and I need to prove I'm sober and I can count to five, does anyone have directions to a really cheap bar? I'll also accept directions to the pharmacy or a tire and lube.

I'm gonna need a few more chemicals in me before I deal with this. It's for my sake, not your-

I mean your sake, not mi-

No definitely my sake, sorry. Promised a friend I wasn't going to lie as much anymore.

Comments

[spidertwerp]

[He's far less interested in hurting him though, he's just interested in knowing how he's different. It's okay, he's studied his own physiology.]

Don't ask, got it. [He smiles and lets the matter drop and he just sighs.]

I'm not that young, even if Mr. Stark keeps calling me a kid. I'm almost old enough to get my learner's permit!

[Oh yeah he should explain.] I'm an intern for Mr. Stark.

[sharpeinolds]

I'm old enough to buy a value sized bottle of vodka.

[Peter you are smol bb]

No kidding? Speaking of value sized vodka bottles, how's Tony doing? Hey, if you ever get out of here and remember, tell him I think he's super dreamy.

[spidertwerp]

Hey I just thought of an experiment...

[Peter wonders what the effects of alcohol would be on a very fast metabolism.]

I can't say something like that to him! Mr. Stark would think I hit my head or something!

[Try as he might, he can't call him Tony.]

[sharpeinolds]

I can't help you with the vinegar and baking soda volcano, man. You have to do that one on your own. I've been like permanently forbidden from playing with that anymore after The Incident.

No no, really it's easy, you just look him dead in the eye and tell him that some jacked, super fun, really talented, extremely handsome gun for hire in Manhattan would absolutely Kringle his Christmas. I'm sure he's heard it before.

He should have, I know I keep sending those letters.

[spidertwerp]

I'm far from volcanoes. I was wondering about the effects on alcohol on an enhanced metabolism compared to a regular one. [He's too young for this experiment. Literally.]

I...[He opens his mouth and closes it.] I don't even know what to say to that. I could tell him but probably not like that.

[sharpeinolds]

Hey, actually that does sound like fun. You know someone who's old enough to legally be the control group and not die of cheap alcohol poisoning?

That's fine, I'll just keep writing those postcards.

[spidertwerp]

Do you have an enhanced metabolism? Interesting. And no, I don't think so, but somehow I bet you could find a volunteer.

[Science doesn't have to be scary.]

Uh, you do that. Don't feel bad, he doesn't call me back either.

[sharpeinolds]

I gotta burn something to keep growing limbs back. I will totally work on finding a scientific drinking buddy, there's gotta be someone around here who will get absolutely shitfaced in the name of science.

[spidertwerp]

It's a noble sacrifice, the things people do for science. Let me know, I'll be happy to take notes.