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[sharpeinolds]

Hey kids!

I know what you're all thinking.

Wow, I can't believe Spiderman finally hit puberty! Aren't his abs amazing, I just want to rub my face all over them.

First of all, thanks, I work out.

Second of all, don't call me Spiderman, lets get that out of the way right now.

Third of all, I just took a nap on the bottom of a cave because I.... accidentally... kicked the fancy Star Wars hologram over there, just wanted to put that out there: Don't kick the hologram. PSA here, kids.

Forth of all, I lost track of what I was listing.

And fifth of all because I'm on a roll and I need to prove I'm sober and I can count to five, does anyone have directions to a really cheap bar? I'll also accept directions to the pharmacy or a tire and lube.

I'm gonna need a few more chemicals in me before I deal with this. It's for my sake, not your-

I mean your sake, not mi-

No definitely my sake, sorry. Promised a friend I wasn't going to lie as much anymore.

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[sharpeinolds]

"Oh wait, wait I know this one I KNOW THIS ONE- Do not tell anyone I know this one, I have an image to project here and none of it involves knowing anything about H.P. Lovecraft. That's uh... that's the yellow guy! The really crazy one. I mean the extra nuts one, the payday bar deluxe."

The pause was short, but heavy. Not painfully so, but meaningful. That... meant something. Not that Wade was at all familiar anymore with people being interested in him in any fashion outside of his more murderous uses, but it still meant something.

"... Yeah." And for once, he didn't seem to have that many words.

"... I mean- Well. Yeah." He wasn't sure what to think about that momentary softness that crept into his tone there for a second.

"... That's a change."

[black_black_heart]

"You know the yellow king, and you know what a faerie is? Wade dear, you're a secret nerd."

NERD ALERT.

"...Yeah, well. It's pretty funny, because the first time we met, I climbed into your lap by the end of it," Tannusen chuckled, picking up his tea to take a drink. "But then you had to go and become a person on me."

[sharpeinolds]

"Hush, quiet, sh, SH. Only cool guy pop culture references here."

Wade had, by this point, drained his cup and finished his steak, just sitting back in his chair and getting cozy.

"I'm not going to lie here. You look like you'd feel super comfortable in my lap." There's another laugh at that next line: "See I usually have the opposite effect on people."

[black_black_heart]

"That's because you hide in that mask of yours so much, people forget there's someone under it," Tannusen noted wryly, with a gesture at wherever Wade had put said mask. "Object permanence isn't humanity's strongest suit."

[sharpeinolds]

It was just resting next to the plate, of course. Wade's answer was quick and... probably expected:

"Well yeah that's the point, don't want anyone to get too attached to a walking shooting gallery duck. This is why you don't name your barn animals."

[black_black_heart]

"I don't know, it's not like you're going to die on them. I think the intent's so you don't get attached."

Oh no this chat has gotten too real BACK TO JOKES, STAT!

"But you're out of luck here; I'm by far the best boss you're going to find on this itty bitty little world," a wry, lopsided grin, "and I know I'm just irresistibly charming."