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[sharpeinolds]

Hey kids!

I know what you're all thinking.

Wow, I can't believe Spiderman finally hit puberty! Aren't his abs amazing, I just want to rub my face all over them.

First of all, thanks, I work out.

Second of all, don't call me Spiderman, lets get that out of the way right now.

Third of all, I just took a nap on the bottom of a cave because I.... accidentally... kicked the fancy Star Wars hologram over there, just wanted to put that out there: Don't kick the hologram. PSA here, kids.

Forth of all, I lost track of what I was listing.

And fifth of all because I'm on a roll and I need to prove I'm sober and I can count to five, does anyone have directions to a really cheap bar? I'll also accept directions to the pharmacy or a tire and lube.

I'm gonna need a few more chemicals in me before I deal with this. It's for my sake, not your-

I mean your sake, not mi-

No definitely my sake, sorry. Promised a friend I wasn't going to lie as much anymore.

Comments

[singinghuntress]

[Sure, lets go with that. Admittedly, Rip has changed quite a bit in the last... three years. ]

Of all zhe things to ask me about zhe var, you ask about zhe Fins.

[She rolls her eyes slightly.]

Zhey vere annoying. Now, zhe Russians vere scary bastards. But, zhen again.. I vas stationed in Warsaw during zhe var und attached to a research battalion.

[sharpeinolds]

I like the Fins!

... Okay no I like the Russians too, I can't lie, Colossus isn't that bad, his ass makes up for his... everything else.

That sounds like fun, I was special ops. Not... not then, I wasn't even a zygote but eventually.

[singinghuntress]

...I'm not even going to ask vho Colossus iz, I haf a feeling I don't vant to know.

[Or maybe she does. She might ask.. later.]

It vas. Just so long as you didn't mind zhe sounds of prisoners screaming. I vas human back zhen, but, still one hell of a sniper.

[sharpeinolds]

I mean you might, I'm not kidding about his ass.

See, now you're losing me, I don't like playing guess who with my dick, I'm really turned off by implied human experimentation. Bit of a sore spot.

[singinghuntress]

[Now that gets a raised eyebrow.]

Zhe research conducted zhere is vat lead to my creation und zhe creation of nearly a thousand ozher vampires in my battalion. Zo if you're turned off by human experimentation und I'm a product of zhat, I guess sex between us isn't an option.

Pity, I vas considering it.

[sharpeinolds]

Oh maaaan, you're a human experiment?

That's craaazy, I'm a human experiment too! Wow, small world!

Wish I kept all my hair. Shit, I should have been born in 1905. Yeah, my human experiment experience wasn't nearly so hot, super sub par.

Zero out of five stars.

[singinghuntress]

[Now that gets a chuckle out of her.]

I'd rate zhe process at a two out of five, but zhe results a five out of five for success. Plus, I got to keep my hair.

It definitely does sounds like zhis is a small vorld.