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GIR!

[Oh what the fresh hell is this.

Zim's certainly a sight here, a panicky, vaguely smokey sight, judging from the shadows and background, he's perched on top of the pod he woke up in.]

GIR, I can't reach you through the communicator link, you better be on this frequency, GIR, LISTEN TO ME.

[That's right. He's assumed that this is a private conversation. Here we go-]

I'm surrounded by water and if you do not get here right now, GIR, RIGHT NOW, I'm going to burn to death, are you listening? I need you at my coordinates right now, GIR!

I'm at-

[A pause, because he... doesn't... know where the hell he is, or what his coordinates are, or probably what day it is. There's some aggravated grunting]

Look just... just figure it out! GET OVER HERE RIGHT NOW, AND DON'T LET ANYONE SEE YOU! If I fall in the water and die, you can't have any more waffles ever again! ... EVER.

EVER, GET OVER HERE!

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[Well there goes the peaceful day she was having. Instead it's interrupted by something very screechy and annoying. ]

Shut the hell up fuckwad. You're not the only one with water problems so stuff it before I stuff you in the lake and ignore the burns I get from it just to stop your screeching.

[wait]

....

WHO IS THIS?!

[whats that scream louder okay can do]

GET OFF THIS FREQUENCY! I DIDN'T INVITE YOU IN HERE, GET OUT!

[Yeah, she didn't want that AT ALL.]

Name's Li. So shut up your green little cockroach and let the rest of us get some peace around here.

And fuck you, I'll be on whatever frequency I want. It's your fault for making it public.

NEVER!

[Zim, this is the opposite of subtle espionage]

I'LL SCREAM FOREVER AND THERE'S NOTHING YOU CAN DO ABOUT IT! THIS IS MY AWFUL, DIRTY, WATER FILLED HECK-CAVE AND I'LL SCREAM IF I WANT TO!

YOU'RE NOT THE BOSS OF ZIM!

I DO WHAT I WANT, FOUL EARTH STINK!

[FIGHT ME. FIGHT ME IN THE PIT]

[This is the wrong girl to ask for a fight. Li will take great pleasure trampling him and beating the little green thing into the ground.]

Oh that's it you little green space rock. I know exactly where you are and I'm going to take great pleasure in personally shutting you the hell up.

[Somewhere, along the way, mistakes were made here]

YOU DON'T SCARE ME! I've conquered HUNDREDS OF PLANETS-

[no u havent]

AND DEFEATED COUNTLESS ENEMIES-

[no u havent]

AND YOU DON'T STAND A CHANCE AGAINST ME! DON'T EVEN BOTHER LOOKING FOR ME!

[please don't look for him]

[Yes, yes they were. His very first mistake was screaming at a perpetually angry Kelpie who ate people on a semi regular basis.]

You think that's going to scare me off? You've never met a kelpie, have you.

[She just smirks and then clicks off the feed. Guess what Zim. Start running. She's looking for you.]

THIS HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH KELP!

[wait why did she turn off the feed.

.... he clearly must have won. Obviously. His scathing commentary on kelp was undeniably savage.

.... Alright time to get the fuck out of this cave! Sssssomehow.]

[He can think that all he wants because it won't be long before a certain angry blonde finds him and when she does, she's marching right up to him and grabbing him by those very convenient handles on his head.]

Fuck you, I'm not kelp you green space bug. I'm a Kelpie. A Water Horse you fucking ignorant asswipe. And you know what, it fucking sucks not being able to touch my element and right now, I don't fucking care.

[Fight her. Just try it Zim.]

[Well. He's very easy to pick up! Barely three feet tall after all.

She does, in fact, manage to get a hold of his antenna, which just CAUSES MORE SHRIEKING, nerve filled sense organ that they are!

And no he doesn't have a clue what a water horse is, he thought that was what those weird useless fish creatures who lay eggs out their stomach were, so hey.

Biology lesson.

This is apparently a sea horse. It'd be good to know for the next time he's not having his antenna yanked out of his head.

But she wants a fight, and Zim's more than willing to give her one! As all six pointy little nails on his hands reach up to claw frantically at her like a panicking cat.]

Edited (FUCKING HTML) 2018-08-22 17:29 (UTC)

[So he had some fight in him and that suits her just fine as she feels claws on her arm and glances towards him before moving to twist and punch him in the face. If anything can be said, Li is very strong.

Congratulations Zim, you have a very angry 5'4 woman beating you up. If you're nice, she might explain the difference from what she was and what a tiny seahorse was later.

Maybe. ]

[Well, at the very least, Zim was a fast healer!

Not like he hasn't had his tiny little face punched in by angry aliens before.

Enjoy the pathetic sounds of Zim squealing and screaming as he absolutely forgets he has lasers.

Again. For the five millionth time in his life. Apparently we can only recall we have that shit when we want to get food out of a vending machine. He's really not too impressively strong either, though at some point he does manage to claw his way up onto her arm to cling to it in an attempt to get his antenna out of her hands.]

[She's noticing the fast healing and him clinging to her arm. Honestly, this was too damned easy and was quickly wasn't becoming any fun though that didn't stop her from getting out some of her aggression before finally letting go of his antenna out of her hands if only to have that very hand wrapped around his neck and starting to drag him towards the water.]

[Oh shit.

Oh shit water.

OH SHIT CHOKING. Well that's not new either. Neither the water, or the choking, but frankly, it's the water that gets the neurons actually working in his head.

With a SHRIEK, the pak activates, and four sharp, metal appendages zip out, the tips blazing a brilliant green. She'll have a handful of seconds to dodge the ensuing laser fire from the moron who just remembered he has them.]

[Well that's new. He might want to think before using those lazers because Li's reaction might not be one he appreciates as she swings him above her head and then tosses him at the water.

Better him get burned than her.]

[Newt can hear the screaming and comes running over; minus his suitcase, at what in Merlin's beard is going on! Newt also has his wand out and ready and Wingardium Leviosa's the green creature]

Merlin's beard what is going on?

[This. Was. Not actually what Zim wanted, no. Letting go yes, thrown at water?

Less yes.

So there's a great loud horrible lot of shrieking going on here, continuing for roughly five seconds after he's been magically caught and saved from a very painful experience.

... So now hes just gonna float here.

And throw Li under the bus.]

THIS HORRIBLE SEA HORSE HUMAN TRIED TO MELT ME!

Edited (God I hate phone tags) 2018-08-22 21:59 (UTC)

[Li snarls as she hears a rather familiar voice and sees that the green shrieking bug is caught in mid air. In her anger she turns towards Newt and stamps her foot.

Everything about her body language at the moment screams enraged.]

The fucking space roach won't STOP SCREAMING.

[She growls and starts to pace while her eyes are very, very much on Zim. Does he even realize he has a very angry predator just waiting for him to be released so she can continue to tear him apart.

At least she doesn't want to eat him?]

[No kidding about the not stopping screaming. Newt - has no idea what that green creature is but from the sounds of it water is not good for it and levitates Zim next to Newt and lets Zim down and states in a calm voice]

Come now, did you think trying to drown him was going to stop screaming?

[Then over at the space roach and Newt kneels down to be at the same level and keeps his wand pointed at Li and some peripheral vision]

What's wrong? And do try to speak softer.

[He sounds very kind and calming]

[One little finger points directly at Li, even as he's finally allowed to touch down on solid ground.]

YOOOOOOOOUUUUU STARTED IT!

[sorry that not screaming thing isn't going to happen]

NEVER! DON'T TELL ME TO BE QUIET, TELL HER TO STOP PUNCHING PEOPLES FACES!

[She glances warily at the wand now that she knows more about those things and keeps Newt in view.. Though she really wanted to tear the green thing apart.]

Yes, I did. Drowning him would silence the little bug permanently. I don't even fucking care if I get burned doing it.

Just shut him the fuck up!

[She snarled as she moved closer. Everything about her body posture screamed she wanted to attack him again and just tear Zim to pieces!]

I don't care if I started it or not. I'm going to be the one to end it with his entrails splattered all over this cavern.

[Newt is going to put a temporary silence spell on Zim. But that's weird. Why would a Kelpie get burned being in water?]

You could have just walked away?

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