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Well, it was fucking nice while it lasted.

[Li's sitting somewhere on the shores of Fayren under the moonlight with nothing more than a large shirt on and looking annoyed. She liked being a Siren damn it and now several days later, she's still wishing she had it. Then again, it wasn't what she really was... She sighed and glanced to her phone while she ran a hand through her hair, noting that it was getting longer again. Unlike when she was a siren, it's back to being a sandy blonde instead of black once more.

She grumbles softly.]

So, is everyone else back to what they're supposed to be or are there still a few sirens out there? It was... nice not being the only one again.

[Locked To Gellert and Albus]

...I think I need a fucking vacation. You two back to normal? And Albus, I hate you. I want more sweets damn it and can't eat them now.

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[A real, very painful reason for her longing.]

Maybe a little.

[Maybe. Li wasn't paying attention to the fact that she was cold at the water's edge. Not with everything on her mind lately.]

[She looks away from her a moment, back to the waves creeping up along the shore, then shrugs out of her sweater and unceremoniously drops it around Li's shoulders before taking a seat next to her in the sand. The markings along her arms have faded, but are still visible under the moonlight now that she's just in a lacy tank top. It might be odd... but somehow they seem to be keeping her warm as well.

Seems like maybe she's content to say nothing for the moment, but at least the company is nice..]

[Li was quiet when the sweater was dropped on her and hesitated a moment before settling the sweater on her body and drawing her legs up. That sweater might be getting stretched out a little as Li tucks it over her knees. She hates to admit that she's colder than she lets on.

For awhile she let the silence drag on before she finally spoke.]

...Thanks. It was nice having others around again. Even if it was for a short time.

[She says nothing about the sweater, just sitting in the silence and listening to the waves beat the shore. Absently, she runs her hand over the sand, eyes low and shoulders heavy at the feeling of it slipping through her fingers. Damn it. Not too long ago, she had been reveling in the way it felt beneath her skin, the shift of it all beneath their bodies. Now it just felt cold.

When Li finally breaks the silence, she looks over to her, studying her a moment before she nods.]

I'm sure. [A sigh, as her gaze shifts to seek out the reflecting of the moon on the water.] We're still around, you know... Might not have fins, but...

[Friends were hard to come by, and she had given Li her trust. She wasn't going anywhere any time soon unless Li dismissed her.]

[Li nodded slightly and relaxed, letting her head rest on the arms crossed on top of her knees for a little bit.]

Even without fins..I wouldn't mind if you or any of the others wanted to stay in touch. I'm getting tired of being the only one of my kind left.

[Li wasn't about to dismiss Dove anytime soon. She was just.. tired of it all. Li knew she had to keep fighting her curse but, it was gradually getting harder. ]

[There's a half smile, but Dove doesn't shift her gaze off the water.]

I'm a lot harder to get rid of than you might imagine. [she sighs, tossing a small handful of sand down into the waves, just before her feet.] And it seems like it's me that's doing the chasing off these days anyway, so. [No need for Li to worry.]

[Faint snort.]

And exactly who do you think you've chased off?

[...Good. Li's small group of 'friends' is gradually growing.]

[She laughs a short laugh, soft and bitter.]

Well... half the people I know back home either hate me, are afraid of me, or just don't know what to do with me...
Here, most recently, Styxx.

[She's a bit more sensitive about the latter.]

[She rolled her eyes at hearing about the people in her world.]

Sounds like the people from your home are a bunch of idiots. As for Styxx...What happened? He's a hard one to shake.

[No remark on the comment about her people. She can't really blame them, but she'll spare Li the why.

Instead, she just continues to toss little handfuls of sand toward the water.] We, um... took things a little too far last week. [Her cheeks are pink, but it's dark, so who cares? Li might not even understand why, considering her outlook on ...'mating'.] Turns out demons really know how to get to me.

[...She's right, Li doesn't understand why Dove would feel embarrassed or hell, be worried.]

You too huh? I mean, mating with him.

[Blunt as always.]

I mean, he was good but.. why would that drive him away?

[Her face went white, and she finally tore her eyes off the surf to look at Li.]

Wait, what?

[The waves closest to her feet seemed to still a little as her blood went cold.]

What?

[Li was confused by Dove's sudden reaction. To her, mating was just something that happened and admittedly, the round with Styxx made her think about reconsidering bedding humans.]

I mean.. that's what you mean, right?

[She just stared at the other woman, trying to sort through Li's confusion and the sudden onslaught of her own emotion. Li was confused- genuinely confused. She couldn't fault her for that.

Her own anger turned first toward the demon she had been with, for being so casual, for tricking her so easily... then turned on herself. It wasn't true. Styxx... wasn't like that. As much as she wanted to, she couldn't fault him either... not really.

She had known better. She had known not to get so involved, to let herself slip. The fact that he had been a demon at the time was just an extra slap to the face, and that on top of the rejection and knowing Li had been involved as well...]

I....yeah. That's what I meant, [she sighed, failing to hide the fire in her voice, even as she flopped back into the sand to stare up at the moon instead... as if she would help at all.

With the ocean at her beck and call, the moon couldn't relate. Dove crossed her arms over her face and gave a frustrated, muffled growl.] Uuuuuugh, I'm an idiot.

[Well, Dove was right. Styxx normally wasn't like that. However, none of them had been themselves during that curse, Li included and to be free of her original curse had been a blessing and let her taste how her life had once been and what it would never be again.

So yes, she was genuinely confused by Dove's reactions. They didn't make sense to her. ]

Then what's the problem? Why the hell are you calling yourself an idiot?

[She was quiet a moment, wondering how on earth she would respond to the question. She just... was, but to voice why would be to admit something she vehemently refused to admit even to herself.]

Remember that conversation we had about... 'stallions' and... charm and wit and all that, [she sighed, waving a hand in the air and still trying to get herself in check as her face burned against her arm.]

[Give her a moment to remember that conversation and then..Oh. Well then. Now she got it.]

You wanted him to be your stallion. Well, if I knew that, I wouldn't have mated with him.

[She almost groans.] No, I just- it's not....

[Another frustrated sigh.] ...I don't know what it is. [She definitely hadn't expected him to get around so quickly, that's for sure. Especially after the week they had had, but what claim did she have over him? None. Did she even want it?]

No one could have known that. ... I don't even know that.

Dove, the fact you're getting worked up over me mating with him briefly pretty much says it all whether you realize it or not.

[She works her toes into the sand, burying them as she watches Dove.]

Besides, knowing Styxx, he's probably going to apologize profusely to both of us and avoid us until he either sucks it up or we force him to say hello.

Personally, to me it was just mating. A night in bed with no attachments.. I think humans call it a 'one night stand' and besides, beyond that why would I want anything else?

[Li was right, of course. It spoke volumes that even Dove couldn't deny, but the fact the angel wasn't supposed to react this way to made her all the more defiant, strained as it was.

She ignored the gentle pulsing of the markings along her arms and the small bit of skin showing along her hips where her shirt had ridden up in her less than graceful flop into the sand. Dim as the patterns were, there was no doubt in he restlessness of the surge of emotional Light below.]

I knew better.

[She wondered if Li could smell the fear deep, deep down, hidden under it all. There was enough of it under the later state of hurt, and frustration, and regret... that longing that Dove probably could have felt it in anyone else a mile or two away.

She gave a short laugh, harsh and uncharacteristically cold, despite the dulling fire in her veins. Again, the kelpie was right, though she hadn't had any contact with the god killer since.... since then.

She didn't want to think about it. The regret- not her own, at the time, but his- had stung more deeply than she could have ever imagined.

She sighed after another moment and lulled to glance at Li before shaking her head.] I know... I'm not upset with you. [She sat up slowly, fading her wings as she did so and wrapping her arms around her legs before pressing her forehead to her knees.] I just hate that I can't make myself think the same way you do. It's not like he's bad in... [A glance at the sand.] ...bed.

[Could she smell the fear from her friend? Yes. Li wasn't human and her senses were definitely better than a humans when it came to things she knew on instinct. Plus, the pulsing of marks told her quite a bit as well.

However, Li still didn't quite understand why Dove would be upset about it and regret spending the night with Styxx the same way she had. The downside of not being anything even remotely human...]

Why not? I mean... Sex, mating.. it's just something we do. It's instinct no matter what type of creature you are. And yeah, he was very good in bed.

[She shrugged a little.]

First being I've bedded in over a hundred and fifty years...or at least, the first one I've brought into my bed and not eaten.

[She grimaced a little, not wanting to compare notes on the experience. Regardless… she was glad Li hadn’t eaten him. That would have been… something.

She frowned, too busy trudging through her reasoning.]

I don’t know… That sort of thing is… just… [She shook her head, struggling to find the right words.] It’s not just the sex…

[Another long pause. If she was going to dump all this on Li, she might as well explain properly.] We sort of… got into it while we weren’t ourselves and woke up the next morning as… us. [She had been pinned in the sand by a demon and woken up with Styxx. It wouldn’t be hard to imagine the whiplash, given Li obviously knew him both ways.]

[Li would admit that she knew about as much about Styxx as he knew about her and that was a fair amount considering their long talks and the multitude of drawings he's done for her of her herd.]

Well, then ask yourself this. Why does that matter? Yeah, we were all change and some of us were more instincts than reason but, the instincts usually tell you something you already know.

You just might not realize it yet. So, who cares if he was a demon and you were a siren. Or that you were normal in the morning. I don't see how that has anything to do with this... ball of mess you are now.

The same reason you said you wouldn't have... 'mated' with him if you had known. [She might not be anything remotely human, but that had sounded like some sort of boundary at least. Maybe, despite herself, there was a little understanding in it.

She almost laughs again, but takes a deep breath instead.] But I knew something was off. I'm an angel, Li... I've had my fair share of demon experiences. [No, okay, she does laugh, but it's incredibly harsh for herself and clipped.] Hell... I spent years with one, in bed and out. [Not something she's admitted to too many people; its definitely not something she's proud of.] Styxx is nothing like that, and to let it all go down the way it did and then... to feel him wake up and panic...

[She had hurt him, plain and simple, by falling into a trap she had set for herself.]

Edited 2018-11-22 03:10 (UTC)

[Well, when she put it that way... Li huffed softly and started running a hand through the sand near her feet. Mostly, she didn't understand human hang ups or why they react the way they do.

But, this was starting to make a little sense to her as pieces fell into place. ]

Years with a demon huh? Must have been one wild ride I'm guessing didn't end so well. Yeah, Styxx has his issues, we all do and I can understand some of his... any maybe why he panicked.

Have you tried talking to him since then?

[Video]

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Li gets a golden ticket~

Yay~

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