genessia | [Anon Text]

Awww, just when I thought you were the one I wasn't madly in love with. [SO PROUD OF HIM. Basically because he said the same thing as her just better and less bitey, but still, that's a great reason!]

[The eyebrows pop up at that, startled for a second at that before he grins, shifting a little in place as if he's scuffing a foot bashfully on the floor like a nine year old.]

...ha, oi, Rose, please... don't need two of me getting jealous, now.

[Not that he can hide at all how obviously he sincerely appreciates her saying it... or resist preening just a little.

...and he might not mind throwing it in his gray-haired older self's face, given the opportunity, as well, but he's really trying to take the high road, there.]

[OH NO THAT'S CUTE. Oh no he's cute! Oh no! It's a really good thing River isn't here to shoot her.]

[BEAM BEAM BEAM. SO PROUD.]

[She also almost says something about 3 because 13 was here a whole day before Rose decided to kidnap her...] I'll make it up to 'em.

Look at you, bein' the Doctor, though. [CHINHANDS HAPPY GOOFY GRIN AND SIGH.] So proud.

[A pause and firm nod!] Very impressive.

...euhh, I s'pose you will, yeah.

[He's fine not knowing any more about it than that, tyvm.

The Doctor brightens more than a little as she goes on, though, smiling sort of whimsically.]

...and yeah, well, 'course I am, sort of what I do.

[He sort of means it about all of his selves, but he can't help thinking back on Clara meeting two of his former selves--one that he'd been quite fond of, and one that he'd tried to forget--and about who he's going to be, as well.

It's all a bit tangled up, for him, what it means to "be the Doctor."

Not that he's about to show off all those messy thoughts; outwardly, he just preens at the compliment a bit, making a show of taking it in stride.]

Shut up

[Then slams off the comm device]

[EARS RED.]

'm sorry.

[If it's not too late.]

[She's gonna have to find someone who might be running away already]

[She's not sure if she should. She loved it when he came after her, but the Doctor usually needed his space with good reason.]

[She does set out looking though, in all the usual spots.]

[She'll probably catch someone that just came off the fire escape in the Torchwood building but rather than pouting he looks so cold]

[Cute.]

[She waggles her fingers at him.] Hey you. Come here, yeah?

[He's a moth to a flame and her warmness above everything else draws him in but - cautiously and walks like a dog with a tail between his legs because he screwed up. Again but her saying that she loves Eleven more also hurts. No - it slices his hearts when he hears that around him - but he also know it's his fault because he's trying to get stable and can't seem too]

I know. I know what you said. About me and myselves - I don't know why you bother with this face Rose. I really don't.

Just - try not to do that in front of me with my other selves. Till I can patch myself up enough?

[She's about to say because she loves him--]

[But he continues and she closes her mouth.]

[And squints up at him.]

You want me to hide what I'm doing?

Fluffy... [Tiptoes up and locks her hands around her neck.] You might not think so, but I know you're better than that.

[Is he? Jack.]

[An eskimo kiss.] I don't love you any less. Never could. Love's infinite, yeah?

I'll be careful, because I don't want you to be sad like this, but I don't want you to try to hold yourself to their measure either. You're not them, and here, you won't be. [Finger over his lips.] And that's a good thing.

I don't know about forgiving yourself, if that post was you, but you need to let me love you and accept that instead, yeah?

[Gently smooshes his cheeks.] Because I do love you. Not because you're the Doctor, but because you're you. [Gently leans her forehead up to his.] So start accepting that, yeah? Instead'a pushing me back or... [Rolls hand in a circle.] This. Stop punishing yourself. I don't want it. And it's not helping anyone. Just be you. Be who you want to be. You said you don't know who that is, but I'll be here with you to find it, okay?

[He doesn't like sharing her. Having to share her. They moved on and regenerated into other forms.

But it's also his fault that Rose got pushed towards 12 with how they were fighting. He wants to bang his head on the wall. He just wants her to himself for five seconds! His older selves will always have River and it doesn't help that he's still twisted up from their fighting and biting his own head about other things and finding himself trapped in a cycle that went on for so long and doesn't know how to stop it now.

For a moment, there's happiness in his brown eyes when she says that it's a good thing that he's not his other selves and gives Rose an Eskimo kiss and then withdraws a bit. He can't tell her or make her forgive his other selves. He does give a head nod and gently replies]

I'm not upset that you love any other's of me.

[Ten isn't sure when he'll forgive them for their choice of River and Ten needs to figure out how to stop biting his own head in the meantime. Which to be honest he's not sure how. His hearts do pound hard in his chest because he's been wanting - meaning too ask her something but afraid of the answer but if he could get the question out - ]

Can -

do - you think.

[Deep breathe]

That you -

could - maybe - possibly

[A swallow]

Forgive this face?

[A pause and still dry with a hard and tired face]
It's not that I don't want too - but I don't know how not too to stop punishing myself.

I'm trying. Believe me. I don't enjoy being like this either.

[Which is a general thing for him but Rose has changed his outlook on everything - and now questions if any choices he did were right - with her, Martha or Donna. It's also - he's been pushed down on the rope so many times with their fighting over the course of the year and a half. At one point he did give up climbing back up. And just hung on and is afraid to climb back up again]

[Ten searches her eyes does she even know how much she's pushed him down and isn't sure now to believe what she just said and asks dryly]

You will?

Edited 2018-12-15 01:24 (UTC)

[She blinks at the stammered question. When is he ever nervous like this? And when he gets it out, she gently pulls him down for a long, enduring kiss, too romantic and emotionally tender to be a proper snog.]

Already did, ages ago. Thought you knew. Or just thought maybe saying it would make things worse, yeah? [Eskimo kisses!!] Can you forgive me too? For always being so snarly and angry the first year? I won't go back there again, I promise.

[And She laughs at the final part.] Yeah. You couldn't get rid of me even with all that behind us, what makes you think you ever could now either? [Locks her hand in his, and kisses his cheek.] You're stuck with me! I'm never leaving you, even when you try to force my hand. [Swings his hand, and kisses it.]

Sometimes... a lot o' times, I think that's what you're trying to do, yeah? Push me away so you can blame yerself, but hey, at least it was in your control, not because I died or walked off, or something. Even the whole... older self thing, yeah?

So listen up.

[Fiercely squares off and peers up at him.] I am never ever gonna leave you. I will always always love you, and I am nevar gonna let you go. I don't even know how! Even if I wanted to. And I tried to want to, and it made everyone, especially me, miserable. I'm done with all that. From here on out, no matter what happens, you've got me.

Edited (Icon) 2018-12-15 01:44 (UTC)

[Ever since he found what a land mine Rose can be and doesn't have the will to get blown up by another one. However, it is one question that would help put at least half of his mind at rest and not biting his own head; as much. It's her answer that he's afraid of - because as she's kindly pointed out - she has ever to be and who knows maybe she's still upset that they fought to begin with or maybe it's just his own guilt complex.

The being pulled down and tenderly snogged is a very pleasant surprise. He was honestly expecting her to say; not yet or not completely. Something more along those lines.

There's a small weak head nod at the question of 'maybe saying it would make things worse, yeah' and eskimo kisses back and pulls Rose close and tenderly snogs her and softly states]

Always.

[The Tardis plays song from 1:53 onwards]

[Then combs a bit through her blonde hair and seems like an anvil was lifted off his shoulders and hugs her tight and silently happy cries and twitches his torso when she bring up him trying to force her hand - hopefully - he can start to forgive himself now too and presses his cheek against hers softly and his body against hers and leaning inwards and holds her close and tight. With a soft and worn but loving smile on his lips.

That's one giant leap towards healing]

Edited 2019-01-01 02:51 (UTC)

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