video

[justicereigns]

Is there a law against killing parrots?

[Parrots, not pirates... for once. And if there is such a law... THE LAW IS WRONG!!!!]

[In the background, a newly hatched parrot happily (and LOUDLY) chirps despite the cage and blanket thrown over it:]

Smoker's in love with pirates! And he always lets them go! Or makes out with them!

[Smoker twitches. Violently. And his two roommates, too tall to properly stand in the apartment appear VERY VERY busy with pretending they don't notice a god damn thing. It's been one hell of a 24 hours.]

Tell me there's a better way of shutting them up...

He's in luuuuuuurve! But he's gonna cuck himself! AGAIN!

[Kuzan just... SIGHS.]

[While Smoker appears to be all but dying.] I don't even know where it learned these words.... It just hatched!

He doesn't care about rank or promotions or money, but that doesn't cure his addictions to--

SHUT THE FUCK UP!!!

[Slams the comm off. FOR NOW.]

Comments

video;

[om_nom_namur]

Smoker, yer lit'rally the only person that didn't know that shit, an' that mostly due t' a really bad case a headupyerassitis.

video;

[justicereigns]

Fuck you.... [Squeaky puppy.]

The pirate Law stole his heart!!!

[The parrot seems affronted that Namur thinks it only knows things... everyone knows.]

Video;

[om_nom_namur]

Yaaaawn! Same story, differnt name.

Seriously, Gullboy. Yer worried 'bout a li'l bird what jus' says the same shit over an' over?

Video;

[justicereigns]

[Facepalm.]

It's annoying my roommates. Not embarrassing me. Just obnoxious. [WELL NO, HE IS EMBARRASSED. AND HE FOUGHT WITH A LOT ALREADY BECAUSE HE IS A DUMBASS.]

[Action]

[donquixotic]

How is it learning these things? [He's on his knees in front of the cage, wondering how the hell this sort of thing happens here. Crazy comes standard equipped, and obnoxious.] It's not fair to it to keep it shut up. Maybe it needs something, and then it will settle down?

[Action]

[justicereigns]

Beats me.

Like what???

[Action]

[donquixotic]

Hell if I know. But it's an infant. Even if it's a bird... [He's gonna pull the cover off, see if the damn thing wants attention.]

[Action]

[justicereigns]

[SIGHS.]

[The bird floofs!]

Smoker got his ass kicked by Doflamingo and couldn't lift a finger against him!!!

[Smoker just twitches again.]

video;

[ivegotadream]

Ah, please don't kill the parrot.

[She paused for a moment trying to figure out how to help them.]

But have you tried keeping them occupied?

video;

[justicereigns]

Not yet.

What do you suggest?

[The parrot happily chirps out:] Smoker likes cheap detective novels, and being a workaholic! [Smoker for his part seems unfazed.]

video;

[ivegotadream]

Have you tried spending time with them, like play a game or something? Back home I used to do things wth pascal like chess.

video; 1/2

[justicereigns]

[Stares.]

[Really?]

[Sideglances to the bird.]

Smoker doesn't know how to have fun!

I mean... I can.

[Takes the bird out of the cage and offers it a deck of cards...]

[He can't believe he's doing this.]

[The bird scatters them all over the room!!!!]

52 Pickup is Smoker's least favorite game!

video; 2/2

[justicereigns]

Yeah, I'm not picking those up. I hope the dogs eat you. [To the parrot.]

text - private

[sleepingbagsensei]

Fry it. Feed it to the dogs.

[TEXTING FOR REASONS.]

text - private

[justicereigns]

They won't let me. And it might be illegal.

text - private

[sleepingbagsensei]

Probably is.

This one won't shut up either.

text - private

[justicereigns]

What's it saying?

video

[immortalrose]

Thinking of turning that fiendish bird into dinner, are you?

[He questions looking mildly annoyed with that awful parrot on Smoker's behalf. Augustine isn't even in the same vicinity as that awful bird and he's already getting a headache from listening to it screech. ]

Eh? In love?

[Ha? Just what the heck is going on around here? Inquiring minds and all that.]

Where did you find this little monster?

video

[justicereigns]

Dinner for the dogs.

[Parrot:] In love with pirates!!!

[Smoker spazzes out!] Knock it off!

Wants to fuck Augustine!!

[Smoker takes the cage and moves it to the garage, still loud, still echo-y because the garage is more roomy, but maybe he can... convince it to run away.]

An egg. I was curious.

Re: video

[immortalrose]

[...Oh my.

Augustine nearly drops his phone when he hears that last bit. Mind you, he's at work or rather he's on his way to the next meeting when this parrot drops the F-bomb. Not a good look for the curator of this prestigious museum, especially since he's turning bright red. The embarrassment is real.]

Kill it. [He grumbles darkly.] Either kill it with fire or I will!

[He's not joking either.]

Re: video

[justicereigns]

I'm sorry.

[Smoker is already getting used to the wanting to die of embarrassment thing.] I don't think it understands anything. It's not even psychically linked, I tried to fake it out. [FLAILS.]

[EVEN REDDER THAN AUGUSTINE.]

By all means, it's yours. It's not like I can get work done like this either.

Going on a date! Forgets if buying flowers is normal or just for Faye!

I hate it.

action

[lazyjustice]

[turns the page of the newspaper]

Do you always have to be so embarrassing?

action

[justicereigns]

[FLAIL!]

I don't want to hear that from you!

action

[lazyjustice]

I'm not the one sleeping with a pirate who is barely in his twenties. [just saying] With the audacity to go completely red about it. You look like a lobster. [he's not even looking at him but he doesn't have to]

action

[justicereigns]

[MENTALLY SOBBING.]

[CRAWLS AND HIDES UNDER THE TABLE.]

I didn't have sex with Portgas.

[Yet.]

[What's it matter.]

[HE IS A VERY RED LOBSTER.]