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Castlevania: Now with 100% less backtracking [OPEN] [Action]
Ted donned his ill-used thinking cap. Where to find the madman's lab, with the prized elixir of life?
The skeletons might narrow it down to two fifths of Genessia: Fayren, and Everglade. And, Ted found, no matter how he mentally hemmed and hawed, he could not logically choose between them. Alchemy, necromancy, healing potions...either place could house them comfortably.
But if not mentally, perhaps emotionally? The laboratory he saw was, to make poor use of his vocabulary, creepy. A dirge from an organ would not be out of place. Put that way, it seemed right at home in Everglade. Fayren knew its share of the fantastic, true. But it seemed a sunnier, earthy, more wholesome thing. His journey's destination resonated most strongly with the dark, the old, and the spirits of Dickens.
So much for deduction. Now, Ted set upon Everglade, beating pavement, asking obvious questions. Have any witch brews made themselves especially pungent? Any mad scientist cackles roiling through the air? Did they know of a man with clothing as ornate as his heart was black? The night wore on, moon watching ominously overhead.
HEY! LISTEN! HEY! HEY! LISTEN!
"I don't mind. Youkai and humans don't share many diseases so it will be okay." The sub was actually a BLT with turkey and avocado. "And youkai are not fairies!" She laughed. "We're demon-monster-spirit things!" She finished the sandwich in a few quick bites, her teeth making short work of it.
"Mm-" She swallowed. "You still look like you mister. Eating youkai food wont do things like that... I think." She drifted a bit closer to him, brushing crumbs off of her face.
"Castle...vania?" She tilted her head. "I know where a couple castles are. One is a really big one in Fayren. The other is a sub-archway in Everglade. Miss Bats and Miss Maid live there. I went there once but I didn't stay long because there were lots of big scary things that tried to attack me. Like a snake head thing that bumped me into the water. But I can swim, so it's okay. The water was chilly though..."
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"Hmm...of those two castles, did either of them appear especially sentient? A "mind of its own", perhaps? A lonely man lives there, whose concocted an elaborate ploy for purposes of socialization. I hope to oblige him."
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"Ohh. Then we want the one in Everglade." She took his hand, drifting toward Everglade. "Why do you want to go? There are lots of scary monsters in that one. Were you invited for tea? Can I have some? I really like tea. It goes really well with lots of different kinds of bread things. I bet we could have some if we asked really nicely!"
Well, "monster" or not, "demon" or not, Koishi still seemed to be a gentle sweetheart.
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He took her hand, babbling along the way.
"Everglade!? But that's...it, it doesn't resonate! It's incongruous! Why would he put it there instead of here? That man has no poetic sensibilities. A half-man, more like. Absolute madness."
After complaining owing to a lack of retention, He addressed his companion's latest whim.
"As you say, Koishi, it's hardly the place for a lady. Are you absolutely sure? I don't know how well I'll be able to take care of you in there. If something should happen to you, well, that'd be bad enough. Additionally, I'm sure your sister would be very cross, and she's the last person I'd like bearing down on me. No offense. I can take a few pictures, if you like."
"Oh! As for why I'm headed there: have you heard that man's broadcast? He didn't give a name. Something about a healing potion. I'm a bit of a collector, myself, but more than that, it ought to come in handy. Possibly, a hospital might use it in a desperate case."
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"I dunno. I guess he just wanted it in everglade. It's a nice place if you get past all the darkness and mist and creepy things. I actually kinda like it there. The air is chilly and sharp at night. It's nice."
She blinked up at him, tilting her head. "No place? Why not? It was a lot of fun when I looked in there. Even if there was that snake head thing." Her third eye drifted up, nudging him. "And I don't need you to protect me. I am going to protect you, okay? Sometimes things are sneaky sneak and I'll be able to tell when that happens. I'm really good at that still, even if my head is slantways and all around."
She blinked once. "Broadcast? What broadcast? On the picture square with sound?" She pulled out her phone with her free hand. "I'm not very good at using it most of the time because it has a screen instead of a twisty thing with holes. I got to see one with a twisty thing with holes recently. It was neat. Miss White took me to a place where I took a nap and got to see lots of new things."
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Then Ted's brain finally caught up to his mouth, alerting him to his mistake about...his mistake.
"Oh, wait, we're in Everglade. Right now. So I wasn't wrong! I mean, I was wrong about being wrong, but originally, I was right! I must learn to have more faith in my intuition." Sorry Koishi, this may be a very confusing blunder for everyone.
Ted was enjoying the night, however bumbling. With Koishi, he felt loose enough to unleash the full force of, what may charitably be called his thoughts. Verbalizing things did help him think, and Koishi seemed to say whatever was on her mind anyway, so he felt as an equal, if equally foolish.
"'Protect me? Hah! I'm trying to be upset about the very notion, but truthfully it's proving very difficult. I suppose you are my elder by many scores of years, and it wouldn't be the first time my life has needed saving. Or the second. Probably the fourth, if I count correctly. My objections, meager as they are, could probably be best stated thus:
For once, I wish it were me that could do the saving. Not that I wish anyone's life to be in peril, mind! It's just nice, or would be nice to be capable, you know. I suppose this world has its fair share of mighty warriors. If only for novelty's sake, it might be nice to be counted among them.
If you're curious why I keep calling you fairy, well, the likeness is uncanny. It's a superstition, I suppose, but this place all seems like one great fairy tale, and we do seem to keep meeting. I sometimes fancy if you might be my assigned fairy, of a sort. And in fairy tales, good fairies often bless and aid, but leave the daring-do to their champions. And the champions never ask for this, naturally. For they're good, and fairy tales teach that we respect what is good by not asking too much of it. But then, you aren't technically a fairy; perhaps I'm just being silly. Oh! Speaking of being silly-"
He dug his heels into the ground, temporarily halting their trek and his verbosity.
"I nearly forgot to make a stop at the Rabbit's Foot. No telling what sort of monsters we might encounter in there. Present company excluded, of course. My romanticism must rest as I engage in the vulgar act of commerce, but rest assured, we'll be back on schedule in no time." He hurried in, and purchased a selection of various banes and bric-a-brac. Nothing magical, of course. Being a frugal man, Ted got the value size. He exited the store, lighter in the wallet, but no more encumbered, as the goods nestled comfortably in his satchel.
"Lead the way, my spritely companion. To Castlevania, conquest, and richly deserved comeuppance!"
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Yes Ted. Protect you from the scary powerful vampire. She's an ancient beast of myth and legend. She can manage.
She leaned a little more to one side as she listened to Tet speak. "Well yeah. You're a human Mister. Humans are physically weak but really cunning and tenacious. That's how it's supposed to work. Youkai and humans fight. Youkai are very strong and powerful but humans are cunning and numerous. That way a balance is kept. At least that's how it used to be. Then humans discovered things like gunpowder and the youkai decided to let the humans win and found nice peaceful places to hide. Just because you can't win on your own all the time doesn't make you any less. It just means you're human and therefore teamwork and ingenuity are your best weapons."
Another pause. She hadn't really considered why he kept calling her a fairy. Fairies were very different things in her world. "Yeah but... I'm tiny. but fairies are even tinier. And I don't have wings. I am a satori youkai. We are completely different." She gave him a beaming smile, no doubt making him only see her as more fairy-like. "I've never heard of fairies doing things like that. They sound like they're really smart and lovely and really good companions for humans. I'll help you out, okay Mister?" She was absolutely beaming now. "I can do lots of things."
She paused as Ted stopped in front of a shop, the little youkai staring up at it for a long minute. "Ohh. Okay. It's important to be prepared. There are lots of scary things. I can-" She drifted forward to follow Ted, stopping short several paces from the doorway, every muscle in her body tense. The glow in her eyes had gone out completely, leaving them flat and black. She didn't move for a several moments before drifting back a short ways, shaking her head hard. When she focused on Ted, she seemed back to normal.
"Wards and repelling and crackling around... I can't go in." She rummaged in her pocket and tossed Ted a little bag. It held a little bit of money. Not a bunch but it would help some. Once he exited she perked up significantly, the artery over her shoulder twisting into a heart. She didn't try to get closer again though.
"Come on. It's this way. I think!" She reached out to take his hand, half dragging him along a decent pace. "I'll use my magic to help, okay? I know lots of different spells and I can make lots of brambles. So don't worry."
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He received the allowance gratefully. "Thank you, Koishi," Ted said, meaning more than the shouldering of financial burdens. He hoped she wasn't allergic to any of the stuff, but then, he wasn't about to test every sprig of wolfsbane or pouch of iron shavings to see if she had a reaction.
"Ha, oh dear. If I'm to supply the day's cunning, then we had best say our prayers, for we are ruined." He didn't appear especially despondent about that. In truth, even Ted found the foreboding of their surroundings disheartening, and was grateful for Koishi's presence to lighten his spirits. "Although, that's not a bad idea. I'll do just that when we arrive."
He conversed more along the way, keeping things light and frothy. When they arrived, he stood open-mouthed at the imposing castle, and the gigantic moon that stood behind it. The massive drawbridge both beckoned and terrified. Indeed, Ted felt those two emotions mix and mingle within him. He was afraid, but he was also excited, as fight and flight intertwined and adrenaline surged. He tried to channel the emanating awe into piety, and knelt down.
Ted said the Lord's Prayer, with special emphasis on the end: "Deliver us from evil." He went from kneeling to sitting, tugging off his boots and replacing them with Koishi's gift: the hellfire walkers. "Though, perhaps that's a misguided request, seeing as how we're walking right into it. Are you ready?" Ted tried to keep in front; he's ready to accept that he needs defending. But perhaps he might pretend to be the more invincible of the two, and lead the way? He passed through black forest into the ruined courtyard, keeping his blade and his satchel handy.
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Upon arrival Koishi, fortunately, wasn't as intimidated as Tet. She stared up at the castle with a mix of awe and wonder, her mouth open slightly. "It's bigger than Chireiden on the inside. Like the devil mansion back home. I don't know if the caslte is bigger than the devil mansion though..." She paused, glancing at Ted and he would feel a chilling wave of calm wash over him as the little psychic pushed back his fear. "Please don't be crackly and jagged. That wont help at all. We're going on an adventure! There isn't time to feel like that!"
She knew enough to stay quiet as Ted prayed, even if she wasn't familiar with the diety he was praying to. Father? If any part of Ted's family belonged to the gods then he was more important than she thought. Still, she bit her tongue. She didn't want to waver his confidence. She did smile as she saw the boots she gave him though. They would certainly help through any warmer areas.
"I'm ready Mister! This might be strange, but just keep walking." She zipped along behind him, remaining close. Placing a hand on his shoulder, she focused, the two of them vanishing from the perception of those around them. It was a strange sensation, but not too horrible. Hopefully this would get them inside without too much trouble... Maybe.
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And then he saw many shambling undead, moaning in the hallways. Good thing Ted wasn't afraid! Otherwise he might walk right back out that door. There must've been at least eighteen or so. The cloak seemed to do no good against them either; perhaps it was by smell? At least they moved sluggishly, giving Ted time to take out a revolver from his satchel. He looked toward Koishi, trying to wordlessly express whether she was prepared to do battle and hear some thunder.
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She frowned a little as Ted drew his revolver, the tendrils sliding from her sleeves a bit. "Poor things... They can't even think. Up and up then! Hold on Mister!" Without really asking permission, Koishi wrapped both arms around Ted's chest, tendrils sliding out and winding a couple times around his torso. Koishi shifted a little, and suddenly Ted was flying.
"Don't squirm too much Mister!" Fortunately the tentacles weren't slimy. They were actually very dry and the skin had a powdery, velvet-like texture to keep them from sticking to anything.
Within moments they had crossed the entire room, Koishi setting Tet down in front of the opposite door, the tendrils unwinding and retreating back into her sleeves. "Silly wobbly things~"
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Ted was relieved that he wouldn't have to test his marksmanship; a mass of creatures that many would require either a lot of holy water or a lot of bullets. Much more efficient to...fly? He would have never have thought to ask. Those tentacles must be stronger than Koishi looked. This would come in handy to ascend the castle heights.
Once he'd been set down, he quickly open the door, and would drag Koishi behind it if she was having too much fun taunting the undead they'd left behind. After both of them were securely behind the wooden frame, he'd shut it. He briefly considered getting a chair and blocking the doorway like that, but on second thought, that'd be very rude if any of them came from behind.
"Let's hope the brutes don't know how to work a handle." He looked out. They were in a very peculiar room, indeed. As long as the hallway, but also deep. No sane castle, this. You could really hurt yourself if you fell down from here! What is this, a castle made for acrobats? Surveying the surroundings, it seemed they could either go forward, up, or down. "If I were a laboratory, where would I - OW!" A bone sailed through the air, bonking Ted's head. A mischievous skeleton was apparently taking himself apart just to get to them from another ledge ahead. It wound up, lobbing another arc.
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She stopped short on the other side, blinking and peeking over the edge. "Oh wow! That's a long fall Mister... Here..." She began rummaging in her pockets, eventually pulling out a little bronze pin shaped like a feathered wing. She pinned it to his shirt without asking.
"This is one of the flying pins for playing danmaku. I keep one with me so I can show people how it works and get them to come to Mister Stripe's school. You can float now. And if you have a hard time I can always help-" She paused, looking up at Ted as he was clonked in the head with a bone.
"Mister...? Are you okay- hey!" She zipped back a short ways, hovering in the air. A bone had hit her shoulder. "Oh! Bones!"
Koishi zipped down, leaving Ted on the ledge, her heavy boots coming down on the Skeleton's head, scattering it apart. She reached down and picked up a femur, snapping it in half and looking inside.
"Awww it's dry and dusty. No fun, no fun..."
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Ted looked at the pin, delighted. "Why thank you, Koishi! My, what marvelous good fortune that you've joined me for this misadventure." He rubbed at his scalp. "Yes, I'll manage. Devilish thing must've known how important that train of thought was, to go after my noggin so. I'll be ready for the next one, mark my - oh." He looked as Koishi Mario'd their latest foe, snapping a bone a bit too easily for Ted's comfort. He might have to hang up the 'fairy' address for a while.
Well, at any rate the coast looked clear. He thought and paced with his new flight pin. "Oh, goodness! It's like I'm on the moon! Now, where was I? Ah yes, the alchemy lab. Hmm." He jumped and floated back and forth, getting his bearings. "I remember reading an old book once about a crazy old alchemist who brooded in his tower whenever he concocted his hermetic hysterics. The Parisians below him could see it for miles around, as it spewed out red smoke. Called it the 'witch's' tower, they did. Well, it wouldn't have done to build such a thing in one's basement; the fumes would gas up the rest of the house. Aha!" He tapped his palm with his fist. "The alchemist's lab must be above us, belching its noxious taint into the night air. Upwards and onwards!" He jumped up towards an opening above, hoping to catch on to a ledge and pull himself up. Success! He clambered up towards a new chamber, with a long hallway on the opposite of where they entered. Ted relished the chance to test the pin again, and leaped towards the other side, smoothly touch down on the opposite side of yet another long hallway.
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"Be careful Mister!" She couldn't argue with the logic of the alchemy lab being above them. But it wouldn't be good if he rushed ahead like that. He would end up having all the fun without her! "Don't go too far, okay? I want to help!"
She caught up rather easily regardless, sliding down to hover next to him, her third eye drifting over and nudging his shoulder gently. "I'll just follow you, okay? I don't know what the lab looks like." Despite her previous display of strength she didn't seem any different. Perhaps the bones had just been that brittle? "I hope we find something more fun up ahead!"
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"Must you tempt fate?" He grinned, opening the door. Looking out, he saw many skeletons, all upright, spaced evenly between each other. All of them had loosed their weapons, sending a hail of bones towards him. Ted slammed the door, with the cracking of bones sounding off behind the wooden barricade.
"That was your 'fun' just now, I believe. You must have trounced one of their friends just now, and despite their hollow grins, they are not pleased." Ted rustled in his pack, taking out the tin knight shield he had used for Halloween. Not especially sturdy, but it would do.
"Let's make a run for it. Should we stop to dismantle one, the others shall surely rain upon us. One bit of good news: being simple creatures, they aim only where one is, not where one will be. Oh, if only I had played basketball, I should know better how to weave between them. Well, it can't be helped. On the count of three. One, two..."
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She knocked gently on the shield that Ted took out. "You should face your fears Mister. The skeletons fall apart really easily. You should try ramming into them. Shields make good weapons too!" It would further his confidence too, but she didn't say that part out loud.
Either way she turned toward the door as he began counting down, rolling her shoulders and shaking her arms once, two tendrils sliding from each sleeve, coiled back and ready to strike. She had Ted's back in case anything bad happened.
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***
While his shield looked to be in rough shape, and he had suffered a few scrapes and bruises, he surveyed the battleground, content to see the remains of their enemies scattered all around. While catching his breath, he took in the sights. Only one way to go: west.
The next room held the sounds of...vacuums, oddly enough. Though Ted didn't know it, these were all Persephone: demonic maids, with hoses attached to skull vacuums. Three of them, each on platforms overhead.
This time Ted did back out, though the cause of his fear was different. He was perfectly fine crushing any number of brittle skeletons, but these new foes were something at least resembling human. He had never taken a life, even if it was the life of a demon. Indeed, his encounter with Vyers and others like him made him very wary of it. Additionally, there could be no question that they were inhabitants of the castle. Their allegiance to the unholy site was out of the question, given the way they dutifully cleaned the same spot over and over. He'd even caught the sight of a knife garter, just like the one Sakuya had at the fair. What is it with maids and knives anyway?
"Koishi, can you obscure our presence as we make our ascent? I get the feeling those vile vacuumers won't be too pleased if we begin scuffing their floors."
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"That was really amazing Mister!" She spun in place once, drifting a little to one side, placing a hand on her head to keep her hat from falling.
When the door opened, Koishi paused at the unusual sound. She wasn't used to the sounds of modern cleaning equipment. "Wait here, okay Mister?" She glanced at Ted and then stepped forward, peeking out and up at the source of the noise. She let out a little gasp of surprise, or perhaps joy. "Maids! They're not normal maids though." She tilted her head and, without a second thought, floated up to where the maids were cleaning, third eye bobbing excitedly.
"Hello there!" She tipped her hat without a hint of fear. "My name is Koishi Komeiji. I'm a satori youkai." Her non human features were extremely obvious. "Miss I'm kind of hungry. You work here right? I'm kind of hungry. Can you make a snack? Don't worry. I wont step where you're cleaning."
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She performed a little curtsy, then ninja-flipped a few feet away, a burst of knives exploding from her thigh as she did so. She took a karate stance, then slowly edged toward Koishi, tensing her leg muscles for a front kick. The maid above them had noticed the going's on too, and pointed her vacuum at Koishi, using its demonic gust to both absorb her life energy, stun her in place, and take her hat, as well as any other clothes she hadn't securely fastened.
To Koishi's dismay, the only refreshments they had on hand were knuckle sandwiches. And buckets of pudding, but that was a fairly low drop chance.
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The gust of wind certainly hit her though, blowing her hat off and sending her tumbling once in the air. She turned her attention upwards, zipping back and puffing out her cheeks. "You're blowing the dust around! Stop ittt!"
She tensed and began flying around the room before the maids could throw more knives. She laughed as she dodged more hits, flying up, down, around, giggling. "You're going to have to do better than that!"
Dropping down quickly to avoid another blast of wind, the little satori finally mounted a counter-attack, holding out her hands and summoning magical brambles under the maids to entangle them. They grew very quickly and were extremely strong. It would just take one grabbed ankle to let the thorn vines climb rapidly.
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Ted couldn't restrain himself after hearing all that commotion. He barged in, viewing the knives that had embedded themselves in the walls. "That would explain the 'fwup fwup' I heard." He surveyed the room, seeing a displaced hat, three vines where the demonesses were, and the scent of rose. Koishi's work, clearly.
"I suppose that problem required a woman's touch." Ted didn't really wanna fight girls anyway.
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Well, at least the room smelled nice now.
Placing a hand on top of her head, Koishi looked around, blinking before her eyes landed on her hat. She touched down next to it, picking it up and replacing it on her head, taking a moment to adjust it so it properly protected her scar.
"I dunno. They just sort of disappeared when I tangled them up. I hope the thorns didn't hurt too much. Though they sparked and hummed a little warmly before they vanished. I dunno why." More of Koishi's riddle-speech. Well, at least they were gone now and the duo was free to press forward.
Boss monstah
What was on the other end was their greatest challenge yet: Man Beast.
A hulking, trollish creature in black pants roared, and then brought his fists to the ground. Ted lost his balance, falling. The worst was yet to come, as the force of the blow sent loose rocks from the ceiling crashing down on them. Ted rolled out of the way, barely escaping. He got off his butt, and tried to think of a plan to beat the brute, warily eyeing the monster's movements.
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She trailed a short distance behind, more focused on her pudding than what was up ahead. She entered the chaimber just as the ceiling began to fall, Koishi yelping a bit and zipping to one side, a large rock clipping her knee and breaking skin. She flew back, pudding still balanced in one hand. "Wow! You're almost as large as Mister Big. Would you like some pudding too?"
She cringed a little as it focused on her, her third eye opening a fraction. "Not much going on up there, huh? Not even dropped. Absent to begin with." She extended her free hand and began her spellweaving.
She was focusing on defense before the attack this time. After all, the rocks and fists would both hurt a lot. And Ted was not as durable as she was. Her human companion would likely see the world shimmer a moment, his body protected by a layer of magic. It wouldn't really last more than a hit or two though.
"Be careful Mister, okay?"
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I do not apologize for the reference.
Re: I do not apologize for the reference.
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