genessia | action..

Entry tags:

action..

[over the course of the next few days, Ace will be wandering just about everywhere he can get access to (thats in public) and serving up, or attempting to serve up, a divine kancho -- at least to all the guys above a certain age. Children he'll leave alone and women will get a tap on the shoulder along with a business card which has 'You have been kancho'd' in a swirly font.

Feel free to bear his attack, dodge his attack or spread his attack to the unsuspecting denizens of wherever you happen to be.

It's a kancho long weekend everyone. Get your fingers ready]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[recoils with a huge gasp] I would never! Luffy-senpai is sacred and I can't even look at him most days from the blinding light of his halo! Laying a hand on him would probably scorch me from the sheer purity, like trying to touch the sun!

[or you know, Ace]

I mean if he ever approached me like that I'd be all too happy to worship at his altar but...no no no, best not to even think about it. It'll be fine, really. Trust me!

[scrubs his face with both hands and falls back in along with Ace. Girls. Yes. Barty liek girl] Uhhh well, I don't really care about hair color or measurements or anything, but they kinda gotta be a little freaky. I like 'em freaky. Sense of adventure, don't mind the teeth, so on and so forth.

[wow. Ace knows he has annoyed people with talking about Luffy before but Barty practically worships him.

It's hilarious and for some reason Ace is proud of Luffy. Even though Barty is an idiot, he's a discerning idiot and knows awesomeness when he sees it. Though worship at his altar?

Ace's expression blanks out a moment as his mind kicks into rapid screaming overdrive and deletes the last phrase that hung in the air like a rancid tapeworm.

He comes back too with Barty talking about freaky adventure teeth and Ace hazily connects it to girl types]

Teeth huh? You don't see many girls with teeth like that. Maybe Namur would know.

[he starts walking again and forgotten memory like a blighted shadow makes him shiver and fills him with the desire to punch Barty for no discernable reason. He resists the impulse, though barely]

That Wiess girl has teeth if you mean it attitude wise.

[he deserves it, we all know this.]

The one from the holo-thingy? Nah, she looks way too uptight. I meant my teeth, but hey, if you or Namur know a girl who can match me fang-for-fang, that'd be a hell of a find. She'd be a real keeper, know what I mean?

Dunno if I can do that. Yours are pretty impressive! It'd be hard to find anyone to match. [Barty's teeth are cool. Okay? Okay.]

Maybe...

[but he trails off as he sees two unsuspecting initiates into the right of kancho lurking at the end of the alley. One has their back to them the other is facing them and so will require stealth.

He holds up a hand and motions for Barty to take the easy one but wait for his signal before attacking. It'll be more fun to do it simultaneously]

[oh yes, yes it will. Barty is a smooth master of nonchalance, tucking his hands in his pockets and wandering up behind the guy, looking away and whistling. If anything he looks more prepared to pickpocket his victim, and don't think he won't if the opportunity presents itself.]

[Woah! Barty is smart! Ace has nothing particular against these guys though aside from wanting to jam his fingers up their ass in the name of the game. He tries to catch Barty's attention and counts down with his fingers.

3... 2... 1...

And then the fingerthrust of injustice. Ace's man at least squeals like a stuck pig and jumps about five feet and Ace grins proudly while he waits for Barty to return to his side]

[3, 2, 1, and he whirls in place to poke his target swiftly and ruthlessly. The guy flails and demands to know what kind of perverts they are, but Barty just cackles and takes off to rejoin Ace]

That was satisfying!

Wasn't it? [so proud and expects revenge when they can feel their butts again]

But I was thinking--what if we took a really great picture of you and put it in the paper? I bet the girls would come flocking to you!

[maybe not as much as to Namur but who can compete with that?]

[if they're uncreative and resort to a fistfight, Barty and Ace can take 'em!]

Huh. You think so? I've never tried something like that before! Usually you only see my picture in the paper if it's my wanted poster, heh!

[not even thinking how badly this could backfire on him, nope]

[no, but one hurls a brick at him which he dodges without thinking]

Yeah! It'll be great! We can set you up on a couch or something with the see through cloth stuff and grapes. Thatch says ladies like it like that.

Wait what? What do grapes have to do with it? I don't like grapes. Unless they're made into wine.

[bastards better not want those bricks deflected back or Barty's got a Barrier for 'em]

I don't think you're supposed to eat them. I think they're supposed to be for decoration.

[of course Ace would eat them anyway but that is neither here nor there. More bricks are thrown and dodged and Ace is getting annoyed.]

You'd think they'd just return the favor. [grumble]

[Bartolomeo doesn't even look back as he crosses his fingers and a barrier pops up behind their heads to follow them as they wander away looking for more victims]

Not smart enough, I guess. Oh well, you know what to do with stupid people.

Anyway, I can live without the grapes, if you wanna go with that plan. Sounds like fun, I'm in.

[ahh much better. What a cool ability to have]

No grapes... But you've got to have something... If you were a food what would you be--

Oh wait I know! A pickle!

I am not a pickle!

[Ace is the only one of his heroes he's willing to talk back to. Gently.]

Bigger than a pickle. Cucumber. Zucchini. Summer sausage. [that's right] A big ol' kielbasa!

[laughs and smacks Barty's back in a friendly way.]

Kielbasa then... but we'll have to dye it green -- though Luffy's probably going to bug you for it so make sure you have some on hand....

Yeah, I think you're right about that. [he didn't cry through the whole banquet. He knows full well about his precious senpai and meat]

Think I should pose with my jacket off? Chicks dig tattoos. [with a nod to Ace's trademark on his arm, to say nothing of his back]

Do they? [he had no idea]

We can have a whole bunch of photos. Girls like all sorts of different things so you'd have a wide variety to choose from.

[DAMMIT ACE you should know that!]

I'm likin' this idea more and more! And if it works, next time I'll be your wingman. Get you someone cute, too.

[no, he has no idea...]

[he laughs and waves a hand.] No, man. I'm sleeping with Smoker kind of. It's weird. [shrug]

But if it works you can spot me dinner how about that? [an even greater challenge really]

[and then Barty comes to such an abrupt halt in the middle of the sidewalk that he causes a five-body pileup behind him]

Y-y-you...huh? Huh?

[REBOOTING BARTOLOMEO]

Well if you don't want to buy me dinner you don't have to. It's just a suggestion.

N-n-n-no, it's not...I mean. Just. What? What? SMOKER??

[he is trying really hard to wrap his brain around this, it's not you, Ace. Well maybe it's a little you.]

He's a Marine for cryin' out loud!!

Yeah? So what? Listen Barty pirates can fuck whoever they want regardless of who they are! That's what freedom is about! [don]

Anyway it makes things less complicated that way. We both know we're enemies and we can't really fight because how is it gonna end? [he waves a hand]

Bet you'd do a Marine if she was hot.

Yeah I know they can, it's just...man! I grew up on Loguetown, I know way too much about the guy and I don't even wanna think of him in that context.

[but now he has to think. Like, fold his arms in a huff and strain really hard to think. Would he do a hot Marine?]

I...I dunno, I don't think I could get past that. I mean, sure, here they don't got jurisdiction and can't do shit to us. But the asshole did do a number on Trafalgar...

[this is super-complicated!]

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