TEXT/Half assedly blocked from various random law related people. Answer of your own will

[fukkinawesome]

FOR HIRE: MERCENARY.

Will stab someone to death for various amounts of money and or food. Stabbing recipients must be above the age of eighteen and be worth stabbing.

Stabbing happens at stabbers discretion, please bring photograph and details of stab recipient.

Capable of several different levels of fatal, from somewhat inconvenienced to totally unrecognizable to friends and loved ones.

Please contact me at your earliest convenience.

Deadpool, We Stab Things Real Good.

Comments

[Video]

[shy_mage]

[It took him a while to read this, and he wasn't going to text back because... well, that would take even longer. So, he used video, and looked rather concerned.]

Y-You're only going to s-stab bad people, right...?

Re: [Video]

[fukkinawesome]

If I say no, will you give me money to not stab good people?

[Video]

[black_black_heart]

Damn, where were you when I was hiring security?

[Not that he's displeased with Tektite's performance in the role, but this guy amuses the dark Fae.]

Anything else you do for money and or food?

Re: [Video]

[fukkinawesome]

... Anything?

[Text]

[tektite]

you only stab ? how creative with stabbing?

taking limbs off ? biting? they can t really die here right? what good is stabbing if they come back

unless it s just fun

[Typing is really hard for someone who's hands only kinda work on a good day, but she's trying.]

Re: [Text]

[fukkinawesome]

They come back eventually. In the mean time it like... hurts and shit.

[Video]

[purrinpumpkin]

[Have a cute cat lady who isn't terribly impressed but somewhat curious, as true cats tend to be]

Isn't that kinda messy?

Re: [Video]

[fukkinawesome]

What if I like messy?

video;

[orlokbutterfly]

[Gale is trying so hard to keep an amused smirk back... but is failing pretty miserably.]

Sounds like you're a kind of guy that should be workin' on the bounties in the paper.

Except in Nova City. Pretty sure stabbin' people is actually frowned upon by the top brass in this city. Or top silver. Whatever she qualifies for.

[And by 'pretty sure', he of course means 'knows for certain'.]

Re: video;

[fukkinawesome]

I'll get to it. Most of them need you to be stab free though.

Well I wasn't gonna go there.

text;

[gamerrep]

Why do you want to stab people?

Re: text;

[fukkinawesome]

For money?

text;

[icyheart]

Are there limits to people you would stab?

Re: text;

[fukkinawesome]

18 and up only.

[herbarium]

[ stop.mp4 ]

[fukkinawesome]

[voice]

[chicken_kun]

I do my own stabbing, thanks, but good job on the advertisement. Very concise. Gets the point across well.

Re: [voice]

[fukkinawesome]

Well if you ever need someone especially stabbed extra hard you know who to go to.

[Video]

[swordprincess]

[And here is that "cute deputy" that Gale talked about, and she's looking...less than amused.]

...And what makes people "worth stabbing," in your mind?

Re: [Video]

[fukkinawesome]

.... Aaaare you a cop?

[Text/image]

[02crusnikabel]

[Soooo...in response Abel sends him a picture of the closest Subway sandwich stores, including all the addresses of their location through the cities with a caption beneath:

"Dear Wade,
I'm afraid you sold us out of sandwiches without paying the tab, how very kind of you! Here is my recommendation of a store that sells the best sandwiches and subs ever. Eat fresh, my friend, it's healthy for all the energy and vigor you need in your wonderful career of assassination!

Sincerely,
Father Abel"]

[text]

[fukkinawesome]

sandwich girl says i get sandwiches

[Video]

[iwoofyou]

Oh boy, hi there Master! I cannot read but I see your face right here! [Licks the communication device]

Re: [Video]

[fukkinawesome]

HELLO DOGGY.

WHERE ARE YOU?

text

[unhappy]

What about City Guardians???

Re: text

[fukkinawesome]

what about stabbing them? that's a lot of money.

[redcinemareel]

[....huh. That makes things much easier for her if she needs someone gone and/or stabbed.]

What kind of sandwich do you like?|

[fukkinawesome]

ANY SANDWICH

Text

[gunnerbrat]

What if the one I want stabbed is actually really old but is kept youthful with fairy magic?

Can you stab someone quick enough to ride the cannonballs shot at him?

[ Yes, he's asking if Deadpool is willing to stab Peter Pan.]

Re: Text

[fukkinawesome]

how old do they appear as